Back and Stronger: Alpha's Daughter
Chapter 38

Full moon had been three days ago already, and Neil was back to keeping Sophia at arm’s length again.

After their intense night together, all she wanted to do was talk about it. Talk it through somehow with him. Explain to him…

Explain what though? she wondered.

Explain to him that she’d thought that she had merely had a silly crush on him before, but that the night they shifted together she’d realized that her feelings were much, much stronger than even she’d wanted to admit?

Sure, that would have gone down just splendidly, and with no awkwardness whatsoever. Not.

That morning after though, when they had just arrived back from their night camping and running in the woods, Sophia had been too tired to try and start a conversation with him about it, as she was still very confused and overwhelmed still. Besides, he also hadn’t exactly appeared to be in the mood for talking. Especially not with her. So she’d left it and went to bed.

She’d slept right through that next day and awoken hungry again when it had just turned night again. Sophia remembered how she had stayed in bed for a little while longer, watching the sky darken through the large window beside the bed, and tried to come up with a way she could start a conversation with him.

Hell, she had needed to figure out how she was going to look him in the eye without squirming or blushing first before she could have even considered talking to him!

Her brain had gotten to work instantly then, picking every single gaze, expression, body language, and word from him apart from the night before. She had been certain that he cared for her, and he had started touching her with every chance he got, and yes, she had even felt a connection between them that was something more and had moved past plain friendship, and that connection felt even stronger with their night of pain and instinct together.

But it’s been three days since then, and Sophia only felt intense frustration now. Neil had gone back to being distant and even full-on avoiding her now.

Way to let a girl know you’re not interested after replaceing out, by invading her private thoughts no less, that she is definitely interested in you! Sophia thought as she was fuming in the shower. Other than the steam raised by the hot water running down her back, she was certain some of it must have been coming off her with the pure indignation she was feeling.

Who was he to lead her on like that and then just suddenly give her the cold shoulder the moment it got too serious for him?

Was it because they didn’t share marks? She even dared to consider that maybe it was because he knew that she’d been sexually assaulted…

As she felt her emotions rising, Sophia started scrubbing the sponge against her skin harder and harder even, feeling as though she could scrub away at the unpleasant thoughts and feelings, but she just ended up only scrubbing an extra layer of skin away that left her raw there.

She was the one that had her most inner thoughts and feelings exposed and violated, she reasoned to herself. But it was like he made Sophia out to be the violator instead. Or that was what it felt like to her. He made her feel like she had overstepped some sort of boundary here, not him!

“Fuck this shit!” she said out loud, realizing too late that it hadn’t remained in her head, but she didn’t care who heard her.

After all the scrubbing away of the protective layer of her skin, Sophia could feel that the hot water was starting to burn her skin uncomfortably, so decided that had probably been enough ‘shower-fuming’ for one day and closed the water.

Still not feeling better after all that, she wrapped a towel around her and dried her hair by patting it with another towel. While she did this she walked out of the bathroom to go and get dressed in the clothes she’d laid out on the bed for her there, when she stopped short.

Neil was standing there all sweaty with his running-hoodie taken off already. He must have just returned from his morning run, Sophia thought absentmindedly as she took in the glistening muscles there, and was about to take a deep whiff of him, when she brought her senses back to herself and looked up into his eyes with indifference, instead of the heat she felt coursing through her whole body now – and it had nothing to do with the hot shower she had just had.

“Is everything alright?” he asked, looking at her for probably the first time in three days. Really looking at her, not with those vacant eyes again.

She felt a glimmer of hope, but thought better than to let it out as she pushed it down and kept her own eyes vacant of any feeling. “Peachy,” she said simply. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“What was that whole, fuck this shit, about?” There was a hint of amusement in his voice, but she didn’t let it change her mind about what she had just decided back there in the shower.

“Oh, that was just when I realized something,” Sophia said cryptically, and pushed herself past him, remembering not to breathe as she might just get a nostril’s worth of his scent and it would make her reconsider.

“Realized what?” he inquired to her back, but she didn’t turn to look at him again as she walked down the hall to her room, swaying her hips maybe just a little as she did. “Sophia?”

She just kept walking patiently, although it felt more like she wanted to run, and still without turning she delicately pushed the door shut with her one foot, shutting him out.

If he was willing to pull shitty behavior tactics to get her to back off, then Sophia was willing to be a little shitty herself too.

She knew it wasn’t very mature of her to give back what she was dished, but she had tried being decent with him. She’d tried talking it through with him. Nothing.

So, could Sophia be blamed if she felt this was the only way she could try and stay sane around him? Because the alternative would be her pining and wondering where he was the whole time, wondering why he was avoiding her.

It had been driving her mad these past few days replaceing out from Scott that he was either out running, or at the gym, or taking Scott’s turn to go out armed and ready for whatever it was they went out doing each night.

Neil and Scott would usually take turns to leave the house, but Neil seemed to volunteer to go out each time. It was obvious that he didn’t want to be around her.

And even when he was home, he wasn’t really there. He would just be pacing or sitting around brooding, dark, and angry again. So, yeah, she felt her behavior was justified, especially if it led to her dealing with the rejection better, she would take it.

“Females,” she heard Neil breathe in exasperation before he turned the shower on.

Males, she directed back at him, only mentally because she didn’t want him to know that she cared enough to listen to his reaction.

After trying to focus on her schoolwork for the whole night after Neil and Scott left together this time, she found she was unable to get anything done, let alone focus to take any of the information in, so there was no use in even trying anymore.

Letting out a frustrated sigh for what was probably the gazillionth time, she walked to the kitchen and checked the fridge to make her a sandwich or something. Maybe her stomach would stop feeling like it was tumbling and rolling down a mountainside if she ate something, she figured.

Sophia then heard the car pull up in front of the apartment. “Finally,” she sighed in relief.

She was always a bit worried when either one would leave, but would usually worry more on the rare occasions that both of them had to leave, but tonight for some reason felt worse.

She’d had a bad feeling from the moment they had left earlier, but was glad that she had worried over nothing when she heard the two males’ voices she had come to learn so well over these past few weeks as they approached the front door.

She could hear that they significantly lowered their voices the moment they entered the apartment, not that she was trying to listen in on their conversation or anything, as she was just relieved they were home, but she then heard something that filled her with dread.

She’d heard Neil whisper, “Damn Moon Walkers. They’re all the fucking same. What makes you think we can trust this guy–”

Neil stopped talking the moment he saw her standing in the kitchen looking at them. Guilt and disappointment flashed in his eyes the moment he realized that she’d heard them.

“Sophia?” Neil said, walking over to the bar counter and started taking out some gear from his pockets and laying it there like he always did when he returned. “What are you still doing up?”

Wow, talking to me twice in one day? However, did she get so lucky? She wondered to herself, but ignored him. Instead, she trained her gaze to Scott, who was standing there and looking somewhat guilty himself.

“What about the Moon Walkers? Why are you getting involved with them?”

“Sophia–” Scott started in his typical voice-of-reason again, like he always did, right before he convinced her that it was better if she didn’t know, and that she didn’t need to worry.

Well, too fucking late now. She’d heard many awful stories about the Lucian pack’s northern rival pack, the Moon Walkers. So, she was worried already after hearing that they were planning to get involved with those dangerous and unpredictable shifters.

“Is it about the brewing turf war?” Sophia blurted before she could stop herself.

Both men looked like she’d just given them each an unexpected slap on the cheek – shocked and in disbelief as they were. Wide-eyed, Neil stepped into the kitchen toward her and she gave a step back in response. She saw a disturbed look flash across his features as he noticed her retreat from him and stopped, but still intended to ask her something.

“How do you know about that?”

Thanks to overhearing Bobby at lunch so long ago, Sophia had some ammunition to finally get an emotional response from broody Mr. Vacant over here.

“Sophia, where did you hear this?” Neil asked again when she didn’t answer him, looking as though he wanted to take another step and grab her by the shoulders, but stopped himself.

She broke under the concern that was evident in his voice when he asked again. Whether it was for her or their own asses, she answered him, “I just overheard a kid at school once whose father works at Lucian Headquarters with my dad say that.”

He seemed to relax a little. “Did he say anything else?”

“No,” she said truthfully to Neil, but then tore her eyes from him to Scott. “What’s going on?”

She noticed that Neil was hurt when she didn’t direct the question to him, but to Scott. Sophia kept her eyes empty from the guilt she felt.

Scott just sighed a breath in defeat as he too walked up to the counter and started to unpack his gear. “We’ve been going out to the Moon Walker territory every night to assess that very situation you just mentioned, Sophia.”

“What the fuck, Scott!”

“She deserves to know where we disappear each night, brother,” Scott answered his friend’s anger with unaffected calm. “You think you keep her from worrying by not telling her, but if you’d paid attention you would have known that she’s fraught with worry each night not knowing at all.”

There was clearly hurt in Neil’s eyes again at that, but he tried to hide it as his eyes went to Sophia with something of a question there. She looked at Scott again instead. “How can you two even get in there? I thought Moon Walker territory is always heavily guarded and strictly off-limits to Lucians?”

“It is,” he said with a sly smile. “We have our ways.”

“So you’ve never run into any trouble going in there?” she wondered, still ignoring Neil’s brooding stare. He clearly wasn’t happy with them having this conversation.

“Neil over here did a few nights ago, but other than that they’ve been oddly silent.”

“Seriously, Scott?” Neil said angrily, now avoiding Sophia’s frightened gaze, scanning him for any sign that he’d been in a fight or had gotten hurt, but to her relief, found nothing.

“What? You got out in one piece, didn’t you?” Scott asked innocently.

“Still, she didn’t need to know about that,” Neil argued.

“Sophia is capable of handling some more sensitive information now, granted, not all, out of necessity, but there are some things we can start telling her, Neil.” Scott sighed tiredly when Neil didn’t seem to want to budge. “You two talk it out, I’m going to bed.”

It got more and more tense between them in the kitchen as they stared at each other, as though both of them were waiting for the click from Scott’s room door closing.

“Why are you even interested in spying on the Moon Walker pack anyway? Even if there’s a war coming, why should you two care about it?”

Do you stand to make money out of it or something? Sophia wanted to ask, but stopped herself. She didn’t want Neil to know that she suspected them to be some kind of unlawful mercenaries.

“Sophia, please understand when I say it’s better and safer for you if you do not know anything more about that,” Neil said with such earnest pleading in his eyes that Sophia wanted to go to him and wrap her arms around him. Breathe in his scent. But she held the urge back.

As though he picked up on it, it looked like his arms were twitching to do the same, or maybe he was just prepared to push her away again if she did.

“Never mind, I don’t even know why I still bother asking you anything anymore,” she said a bit too harshly, as she saw the hurt there in his eyes again, but ignored it as she stalked past him and back to her room.

Sophia expected Neil to call or come after her, but she had clearly hurt him into silence. Well, she was used to getting the silent treatment from him already anyway, she reasoned to herself.

But she couldn’t stop herself from feeling guilty and ashamed as hell, so she turned and said to the door, “I’m sorry.”

He’d heard it and said back, “No, I deserved that.”

“You didn’t,” she said simply, a small smile starting on her lips. “I don’t like being a typical bitch.”

There was a moment of silence before he said, “Well, technically you are a bitch, given that you’re a shifter of the canine variety.”

“Wise-ass,” she smiled, and she could almost feel his answering smirk through the walls there.

“Goodnight, Sophia.”

“Goodnight, Neil.”