Beaufort Creek Shifters (10 book series)
The Lion’s Arranged Marriage Chapter 8

Gwendolyn

I had never felt so alive.

Neil had carved a space for us in this existence that made me wonder how I had ever functioned without him before. While his avoidance had hurt me, his touch soothed me now, full of apologies that begged forgiveness. He had my forgiveness the moment he kissed me. All of it. Instantly.

The way he nestled between my legs made me feel real, more than most other things. It was like discovering a new book or going down an unknown rabbit hole of information. That was him, the joy of exploration. What can we uncover together?

Hopefully, the truth. Of everything. Our lives had become entangled the moment we had joined the same pack. Something about our connection spoke of a starry birth, yet I still wasn't sure how that made sense at all. How much could wonder play a part in our union? Or was that simply a temporary distraction to ease the wound that would later gape wide open from him leaving?

That was what they always did in the end. Because of my curious brain. Because of my silence. Because of my isolating behaviors.

Neil would soon see these things too. Hadn't he done that already by avoiding me?

I clung to his shoulders as he pivoted his hips toward me, inching his way inside my entrance. Shuddering breaths escaped me as he held my chin lightly with two fingers, steadying my gaze and forcing my heart to flutter repeatedly. Like wings. Like my wings.

It wasn't fast. It was hard and intentional. Every beat rippled through my chest and echoed through the space around us. Energy wasn't created or destroyed-so that meant these waves had always existed.

Or was that just me losing my mind to some finely crafted dopamine and serotonin?

Neil swept his thumb over my lower lip and prodded my mouth open. But he didn't slip inside. He simply outlined my lips. The more he did it, the more my eyes rolled back.

"That's it," he whispered. "Let go of everything."

A whimper rose to meet his thumb. He pitched forward, sliding deeper inside me. Pressure grew between my thighs and ballooned in my core, a familiar and welcome sensation that made me feel wanted, safe, and secure. Joining with him meant being protected.

My eyelids fluttered and then snapped open. All I saw were those glowing eyes like golden orbs hiding in a dark river. He buried himself entirely with a soft grunt, shivering when I encompassed him, resigning himself to the infinite splendor we were creating. When he slid back, I arched toward him, chasing after his girth with a mewl. His crooked smirk accompanied his firm thrust, splitting my control in half. He was taking my command faster than I could give it over-and I didn't even care.

I wanted him to have it. I wanted him to take me.

Each plunge shattered my grip on reality, transporting me to a place that couldn't have possibly existed without him. I gave myself over to the sweltering pleasure that even my own hands couldn't have delivered. He was skilled with what he had-and I got the impression that this was just the very beginning.

Seconds later, his thrusts turned to frantic pumps that shook the counter. I gripped his shoulders, angling my slit toward him, my desire to buck having completely fallen away as my [**t for him tripled.

Every inch of me tingled with unending heat. I knew I was about to burst. I knew that he would pump the o****m right out of me and keep it going while he exploded. It wasn't clear how I knew. I just did. Neil cupped my face. "Come for me."

My limbs locked up. I let my orgasm take hold, clenching my core up as I climbed new heights and fell repeatedly. Neil chased my o****m down with fervent smacks, stopping only when he was ready to pull out and release his load all over my stomach.

He clutched my hips when he was finished. Shudders rippled through us both, inspiring chuckles of delight. It felt like we were trading pleasure with those sounds and movements. It was glorious.

He patted my thigh. "Good girl."

My entire body stiffened up. Light flooded my eyes as I heard footsteps somewhere in the back of my mind. Keys clattered. Tiny pings of pain stabbed the inside of my elbows. I recalled wet cement and cold rusty bars. Something wasn't right.

Neil's eyes sharpened as he pulled back, holding my shoulders gently. His thumbs swept over my bare skin as I struggled to breathe and look at him. Though I couldn't quite see him over the buzz in my brain. It felt like bees were crowding out my reasoning function. I bit the inside of my cheek. What's happening to me?

"Gwenny, take a breath," he whispered gently. "That's it...and another."

My chest heaved. Air skittered down my throat and into my lungs. I released it quickly, the whoosh sounding so much louder than I wanted. But that didn't matter right now considering the circumstances.

I scrambled to grab him, to hug him close to me. My eyes focused on the pantry yet the same happened as it did before with Neil-I couldn't quite perceive my surroundings.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I wrapped myself around him until I couldn't feel anything. I didn't want to feel anything. Please, don't make me feel anything.

As he started pulling back, I clung harder. "Don't. Please, don't. You're the only one who...who can..." I choked.

You're the only one who can understand.

He encased me in warmth. Soon, heaving gasps for air turned to slow, intentional breaths. Dim light illuminated boxes of food lining the shelves-right, the pantry. The actual pantry. Not the cage where we had been kept and where those bastards had stabbed us repeatedly.

I sucked more air into my lungs. Neil slid one arm under my arms and the other under my shoulders. While cradling me to his chest, he hobbled over to a chair. More warmth radiated between us as he nuzzled my neck.

"I know," he assured. "You went back there, didn't you?"

I pinched my lips together as I curled up in his arms.

He rubbed my arm gently. "I've been doing it, too."

"When does it stop?"

"Not for a while, snow. I'm so sorry."

I shook my head. "It's not your fault."

"It is my fault," he growled. His fingers dug softly into my flesh. "If I hadn't failed the initial rescue attempt, we wouldn't have been held there like that."

"You couldn't have predicted that."

He relinquished some pressure but kept a firm hold on me. "It's my job to protect. That's why I kept my distance. So I could watch over you without putting you in danger."

Confusion railed me as hard as Neil just had. "How are you putting me in danger?"

He sighed heavily. "I'm an assassin for the alpha. Nobody is supposed to actually know about that. Having that knowledge puts everyone at risk."

I frowned. "Is that why you slipped in and out of the pack all the time?"

"Some of it was independent work for the pack to have extra money. Most of it was Blake. And sometimes, I just stayed away because..." He faded for a second, cheek twitching either from stress or the aftermath of our bang session. Possibly also both. "Sometimes, it was because I didn't want to put anyone in danger."

"You really are proud of yourself, aren't you?"

He reclined, giving me some room to sit up. Despite the cramped nature of the chair, I fit perfectly in his arms and had plenty of space to adjust my position. He didn't seem terribly upset about my bare a*s being in his lap.

His eyes glowed with his answer. Still, he said softly, "I do what I can."

"You really think you can protect me by avoiding me when Dr. Myrtle knows that we're mates?"

Pride was soon replaced by stark realization. "Shit."

"See? Your logic was flawed from the very beginning. Besides, we're stronger together. We survived those tests together. We literally shared the smallest cage in the state."

"I'm not going to agree or disagree with that."

I let my triumphant smirk shine. "You can't deny it no matter how much you want to."

"You're pushing your luck, snow."

"And you're pushing me away because you think it's better than us protecting each other."

Round spotlights of hazy gold landed on me. What felt like ages passed between us. Silence and more silence clouded my ears. These kinds of quiet moments were what had chased away plenty of men in the past. But Neil was hardly fazed by them.

A small smile grew on his lips. "So observant."

"I know."

He huffed with amusement. "You're a bit proud yourself."

"You would be too if you had your nose in every book that's ever been written by a scientist."

"Smart, sassy-" He palmed my bottom. "-tasty."

I pushed his shoulder playfully. "Handsome, hunky, grumpy as heck."

"Yeah, people don't like the grumpy so much."

"You're so broody. It's charming."

His smile deepened and his eyes sparked with lust. "Don't flatter me. It's arousing."

"Why does that not surprise me?"

"Would anything about me surprise you at this point?"

Another stretch of silence. This time, it was amused. How easy it was to pick up on our shared reactions to things. And that just doubled my wonder.

If we were like this in close proximity, what made him think space was going to protect me? For days, I had felt like I'd been running a low-grade fever with enough body soreness to cause me strife. Now, it was like I hadn't suffered any damage at all. I wiggled the toes of my left leg. "That's incredible."

"What?"

"My leg-it feels fine."

He sat up and leaned forward, running a hand over my left leg to inspect it. "Well, I'll be damned."

"It hasn't bothered me since..." I looked into his eyes. "Well, it's been fine since we bumped into each other."

"I hadn't even noticed that you weren't favoring your right leg."

Surprise lit me up. "You noticed?"

"Yeah, when you would walk in the garden, you limped. But you tried to hide it."

"Dr. Windsor said it would take a while to-wait, you were watching me?"

Scarlet tickled his cheeks and swept up to the tips of his ears. A bashful lion was far more adorable than one that showed off. I might have preferred him this way.

He smiled weakly. "I...yes. My suite is on the second floor. I can see the garden and the maze."

I didn't say anything. I didn't need to say anything.

He stuttered on, stumbling over his words as he attempted to formulate a logical and coherent reason why watching me was more acceptable than spending time in my company. He failed utterly.

And it was entertaining to watch.

My cutting smile invited more clouds of red to sprout on his face. "I can't believe you gave me the runaround about caring about me."

"What do you mean? That's preposterous. Of course I care about you, snow."

"You made it seem like you didn't."

He blanched and then reared back, turning his head rigidly to look somewhere else. Embarrassment settled in what little space existed between us. Everything else felt like molten lava. His heat impressed me-and also lulled me into a relaxed state. Odd for a bird like me.

Though I had to assume that mate bonds were tricky like that.

I blinked away the presumption. It still made me nervous to think of Neil in terms of a mate. We weren't acquainted as much as I would have liked.

Neil caressed my cheek. "Alright, I'll stop pushing you away, snow."

I smiled. "Good. I'm glad to hear it."

"But you're not sleeping in my bed."

Anger returned at full force. "What? Why?"

"Because, my little owl," he purred while tapping my chin. "We'll never get any sort of rest at all..."