Before I Rise
The Discussion

Marcus POV

“It’s been constant over the past two weeks. It’s usually only 2 or 3 of them and they don’t actually cross into our border. They just run up to the boundary line and sit there for a few minutes before running off. I’m not sure what they are looking for, but it’s making me nervous. Have you guys had any unusual rogue sightings recently?” Alpha Alexis asked me. Her pack was the closest pack to mine and we had an alliance, so naturally she would call me every time there was unusual rogue activity. We also went through Alpha training together and instantly became best friends.

“No nothing. Honestly, we’ve haven’t had a rogue sighting in the past few weeks, not that I’m complaining.” We both let out a chuckle to that. Alexis possibly hates rogues more than me since she lost her entire family to a rogue attack.

“Well let me know if you do, definitely don’t want to be surprised by them if they are starting to organize and work together again.”

“Yeah, I’ll let you know as soon as there is a sighting of them.” I rubbed my hand across my face, sending a quick prayer to the Moon Goddess that this wouldn’t turn into something disastrous. “Well, I probably should get going and see if there is anything leftover from breakfast.”

“Hold up pal, I heard a rumor that a certain notorious Alpha met his mate recently.” I let out a loud groan. News does really travel fast.

“Well… you’ve heard right.” I admitted to her. I was really hoping word hadn’t gotten out yet and if it did, I was double hoping she wouldn’t bring it up.

Alexis let out a laugh. “Oh fuck dude. How the hell is that going?” She asked, still laughing.

“Keep laughing it up shithead. I’ll remember this when you replace your mate.” Alpha Alexis stopped laughing immediately. Her and I both were not looking forward to crossing paths with our mate and we both had similar reasons as to why. Honestly, we probably would have just combined our packs and mated just to make sure we wouldn’t meet our mates. The only reason we didn’t, is we both like girls and Alexis was not about to switch sides.

“Yeah I am not looking forward to that day. Tell me though, what are you planning to do?” Alexis asked me.

Just as I was about to answer her, there was a soft knock on my office door. “Come in!” I shouted. The door cracked slightly open and the person’s scent hit me like a ton of bricks, my body immediately shivered in delight. “I got to go Alexis.” I hung up the phone and turned back to look at her.

She was so breathtakingly beautiful, I could stare at her for the rest of my life. Her burgundy sweater dress hugged every curve she had, paired with dark grey leggings and a pair of ankle boots. Her soft blond hair was curled to perfection and her face had some makeup on, but not enough to overpower her natural beauty. Her dark green eyes darted around my office as she stepped in. She looked extremely nervous to be in here with me.

“What’s up?” I asked her, trying to steady my heart and breathing.

She looked at me and a light blush danced across her cheeks. “Oh um… I heard you missed breakfast so I brought you something to eat.” She said, as she placed a plate down on my desk. On the plate was the most lumpiest, raw blueberry pancakes I have ever seen with burnt bacon on the side. Who in the actual hell made this?

“Oh… wow… thank you?” I didn’t know exactly what to say to her.

Em flashed me a huge smile that was contagious. “You’re welcome! I made it. I heard that this is your favorite meal so I thought I would just whip it up for you. I’m not sure how they taste though, I don’t think cooking is really my thing.” She rubbed the back of her neck, a thing I’ve noticed that she does when she is unsure of herself.

She is amazing. The perfect mate. Take a bite in front of her so she knows we appreciate her efforts. Xavier said.

Do you want to risk dying from food poisoning? Cause if we eat this, we will die.

Xavier growled. Stupid human. We are an Alpha, we heal fast and have a strong stomach.. We will be fine. Now pick up the fork and dig in. I rolled my eyes internally, there was no way in hell that I was going to eat this. I just needed to figure out how to tell her without hurting her feelings.

Em reached across my desk and grabbed the plate. “On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t eat this.” Thank god she recognized that, I really didn’t want to have to tell her that I was not going to eat that. “I’ll just let you get back to work then.” She turned back around and headed for the door.

Follow her you idiot and make a move.

Following Xavier’s advice, I got up from my desk and grabbed her arm just as she was about to reach the door. “Wait Em, I actually was thinking of grabbing something to eat. There’s this really great diner on packland that has really great breakfast. Would you like to go with me?” Her green eyes lit up with happiness.

“I would love to! When do you want to go?” She asked me.

“Right now if you are ready.” She nodded her head yes and we both walked out of my office. “Do you mind if we walk? The diner is about a ten minute walk and it’s a beautiful day.”

“That sounds like a great idea. Lead the way Alpha!” The southern part of me tightened up in hearing her say Alpha. Lets hope I can keep that part of my body under control or this was going to be rough.

********************************************************************

I suddenly got nervous as soon as we sat down at our booth in the diner. I have never had a casual date with the opposite sex before. What were we even supposed to talk about? The last time we had a one on one conversation, I was a total idiot.

“It’s so cozy in here! I completely missed this when Alicia took me on a tour around the packland. Does every pack have a town-like setting?” She asked me. Thank Goddess she started the conversation.

“It depends on the pack and how they are set up. My dad started incorporating business on packland when we started to grow in numbers. It helps make sure every pack member has a job opportunity, and it’s nice to have things to do here so you don’t have to drive an hour every time you want to do something. We are almost completely reliant on the businesses that we have on our land. There’s still some things that you need to go to the city to get. We just added a movie theater here a year ago, that’s been a nice welcome among our teenage pack members.”

“Wow Marcus, that is really amazing!” She said.

“Welcome to the Dark Moon Diner, my name is Claire and I’ll be your waitress. Can I start you guys off with anything to drink?” Claire asked us. I looked at Em and nodded my head to let her order first.

“Can I get a tall glass of orange juice please?”

“Of course! And for you Alpha?” Claire asked as she turned towards me, looking directly in my eyes. Most Alpha’s are not ok with their lower ranked members looking them in the eye, I was not one of those. I wanted my pack members to know that they were important to me and I wanted to be approachable. My first act as Alpha was to make sure my members always addressed me while making eye contact.

“I’ll have the same Claire.” She nodded her head and went to go grab our drinks.

“So, how’s your day going so far?” Em asked me, making small talk.

“It’s going well. How’s yours?”

“It’s going well.” Em let out a nervous chuckle as she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Glad to know I wasn’t the only one feeling nervous.

“Here you go. Are we ready to order or do we need a few more minutes to look at the menu?” Claire asked.

“I’ll just have the blueberry pancakes with a side of bacon.” I said, as I handed my menu to Claire.

“I’ll have the same. Thanks Claire.”

“No problem!” Claire walked away, leaving Em and I alone again. Why was it so hard to come up with things to talk about?

I took a deep breath to settle my nerves. “How are you liking things here so far?”

“It’s been great here! Everyone has been so friendly and I love hanging out with Alicia and Julie. Though, it would be better if a certain individual would stop avoiding me.” My mouth dropped in complete shock to what she just said.

Bro… she just called your ass out. She is absolutely perfect. You need someone who will call you out on your bullshit.

Ok, I get it Xavier. What the hell am I supposed to say to her?

Just tell her the truth Marcus. We have to start somewhere. He was right, she needed to know why I hadn’t been so warm and welcoming towards her.

“I’m sorry about that. You completely caught me off guard when we first met. I was beginning to think the Moon Goddess answered my prayers about not wanting a mate, and then you showed up. It shocked the hell out of me and I needed time to figure out what to do. I’m sorry it’s taken me a while to figure it out. It hasn’t been fair to you.”

Em reached across the table and grabbed my hand, setting sparks up my whole arm. “I understand Marcus. Alicia told me about some of your past and why you were acting the way you are. I just… I guess I want to know if you are going to reject me or not. Cause if you are, I need to figure out what my next move will be. I definitely don’t want to stay here if you do, but I also have nowhere to really go since I don’t know where I’m from.”

My heart ached in response. I really did owe her an explanation. “Listen Em, if you would have showed up on my land a few years ago, I would have rejected you on the spot. I wouldn’t have even hesitated. However, my thoughts and feelings have slightly changed over the years. It scares the hell out of me that you are human and it’s not because I view you as weak, but because you’re a little bit more fragile than a she-wolf. I’m scared that something will happen to you if we are ever attacked and I wasn’t there to protect you. The thought of you hurt, or worse killed, scares the living shit out of me. I just want you to be safe, and I’m not sure you will be if we complete the bond. I have a lot of enemies that would love to take advantage of the fact I have a mate. I need you to understand the cons of being my mate before we go any further with things. I was going to come see you later today and talk to you about all this.”

“Here you guys go!” Claire said, as she set the plates down in front of us. “Just let me know if there is anything else I can get you.”

“Thanks Claire.” She gave me a small smile in response before walking away. I picked up my fork and started eating, they really did have an amazing breakfast. I looked at Em and saw that she hadn’t even touched her food yet. Instead she was staring me down.

“So basically you haven’t accepted me yet because of the what-if scenarios that have been playing in your head since you met me?”

“Yeah, I guess you can say that. I just want to make a decision that’s best for you.” Em rolled her eyes and shook her head in complete disbelief to what I just said. “Why are you rolling your eyes at me?” I asked her.

“Because you are an idiot Marcus. You don’t have the right to make a decision for me. Only I can do that.”

“I know, I just wanted to make sure you fully understand the risk you would be taking if you wanted to pursue this with me.”

Her eyes softened towards me and she once again reached across the table to grab my hand. “I fully and completely understand the cons of mating with you. But Marcus, have you ever once stopped and considered the pros of us being together? I believe that we could potentially have something wonderful and beautiful. We are soulmates. That means something to me. I could not walk away without trying because of this fear you have of me getting hurt or dying. I am fully ready to take on that possibility, because it’s possible but not set in stone that it’s going to happen. This is my life. I get to choose what I want to do with it and what risk I want to take, and I want to do this with you. I don’t need my memories to know that I have been waiting my entire life to meet my soulmate, so I am going to fight like hell for us. If you truly do not want this, then I won’t stop you from rejecting me. But make sure it’s for a valid reason, not because of a fear you have that may or may not happen.”

She was right, in more ways than one. The only thing stopping me is fear. Could I really let that fear go so I can be with her? I don’t know, but I was willing to try for her.

“You’re right, I am letting fear rule over my decisions. It is my worst fear to have you die like my mother.” Em squeezed my hand as her green eyes filled with tears. “I have a proposal for you.”

“Ok, what is it?” She asked as she blinked the tears away.

“I’m not comfortable in just mating and completing the mate bond right away before we get a chance to get to know each other. So, how would you feel if we like hang out and go on dates? Just take it at our own pace.”

“Ok, I’ll agree to it on one condition. I want to see and spend time with you everyday for at least 30 minutes, just you and me. No more not seeing each other for days and days.”

“Only 30 minutes?” I asked as I chuckled.

Em rolled her eyes again. “I said at least, as in I would prefer longer but for right now I can live with just 30 minutes a day.”

“Ok deal.” We shook hands to seal the deal, both of us wearing cheesy grins on our face. “Now eat your food before it gets cold.”

“Ok ok Alpha geeze.” She said with a wink. Fuck, looks like I’ll be taking a cold shower as soon as I get home.