Before I Rise
The Confession

Em’s POV

“Wait, we’re forgetting something…. Oh yeah! Here, put these around the blanket.” Alicia said, as she handed me some white candles.

I had asked for her help in setting up the picnic for Marcus and I. At first, I had just planned on making a couple of sandwiches and throwing a blanket on the ground with maybe a couple of pillows. But of course, Alicia was not having it. She informed me that this was an opportunity to make a bold move. She insisted we make tacos and use “fancy pillows.” Next thing I know, there’s rose petals on the blanket, a champagne bottle on top of ice, and now the freaking candles.

“Aren’t the candles a bit much?” I asked her.

Alicia turned back to look at me, rolled her eyes, and put a hand on her hip.

“You’re killin me smalls. This is going to be a romantic picnic for you and your man. Candles and roses go hand in hand when it comes to romance. And, please tell me you’re going to change before you meet him. You can’t wear jeans and a T-shirt for your date. Thank the Goddess you at least let me curl your hair.”

“For your information I was planning on changing into something different.” I said with my arms crossed. Actually, that was a lie. I wasn’t planning on changing, but now I’m rethinking it. Maybe she is right? Maybe I should put more effort into this.

Alicia looked at her watch on her left wrist. “Well if that’s the case, you better go now. It’s 4:45 pm.”

“OH SHIT!” I tossed the two candles that were in my hands in Alicia’s direction and ran off towards the pack house. No way was I going to be late. I had literally been looking forward to this since Marcus and I talked about it.

“No problem, bestie, don’t worry about a thing. I’ll finish up here cause I am amazing balls.” She shouted after me.

“Thanks you’re the best!” I shouted back.

I ran into the pack house and all the way up to my room. I was definitely not changing out of my dark blue skinny jeans, but I at least could replace a cute shirt to pair it with. After looking through my closest, I found a white lace, flowy, spaghetti strap shirt. Alicia made me buy it for the only reason that it gives me a great amount of cleavage. She was right, I needed to make a bold statement and this shirt would definitely help.

After putting it on, I walked into my bathroom to make sure I looked ok. The shirt actually didn’t look too bad on me. I fluffed up my hair, brushed my teeth, and put on some lip gloss. My heart was beating a million miles per minute and butterflies were dancing in my stomach. This will be the first time that Marcus and I have spent a significant time alone.

I grabbed my white vans and shove them on as I walked out of my room. I ran back down the stairs to Marcus’ floor, causing myself to almost trip and fall flat on my face. I decided to take a second to collect myself before walking down the hall to his office door.

In and out. Just breathe Em. You can’t show up to his door all out of breath and sweaty. Chill out. I tell myself as I walk to his office door. After a few seconds, I finally gathered enough courage to knock on his door.

Just as I am about to, the door opens and out walks Marcus straight into my fist. Luckily, he caught my hand before it could come in contact with his bulky chest.

“Well hello to you too little mate.” He said with a chuckle.

“I’m so sorry!” He chuckled again and kissed my knuckles before letting my hand go.

“It’s alright love. I don’t think you could’ve done a whole lot of damage to me.”

“Not true! I am so much tougher than I look!” I put my hands on my hip and sent him a glare.

He gave me a breathtaking smile and kissed my cheek. “You’re so adorable.”

I rolled my eyes at him, trying to act like that little comment didn’t just send my heart flying out of my chest.

“Are you ready for this awesome picnic?” I asked him, in an attempt to change the subject.

“Yup, lead the way.” He said as he grabbed my hand. “You look beautiful by the way.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself Alpha.” I said with a wink. He was wearing a tight V-neck grey shirt paired with washed out jeans that I am pretty sure makes his ass look amazing.

“You like what you see?” He said, while wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“Yup!” I admitted. Just like Alicia always says, ‘I have no shame in my game.’

He let out another laugh as we walked down the stairs and out of the pack house. I led him to the spot by the lake where I set everything up. The candles were lit and Alicia was nowhere to be seen. She was right though, the candles were definitely a nice touch since the sun was beginning to go down. I guess this time of year the days are shorter and the nights longer.

“Wow, this looks amazing!”

“You sure it’s not too much?” I asked him.

“No! I really like it!” He said as we sat down on the red and black plaid blanket.

“Good I’m glad! I recruited Alicia to help me out with the setup and dinner. The candles and rose petals were her idea.” I told him.

“Yeah that sounds like Alicia. Wait, did you say Alicia helped you with dinner? As in, she helped you make dinner?” He asked me.

“Well I was going to make sandwiches for us, but she talked me out of it. We made tacos instead and she helped with the cooking. Sarah was there to supervise us and help out if we needed it.” I explained to him.

“Oh thank the Goddess.”

“What do you mean?” I asked him, confused on the way he was acting. I know my cooking was obviously not the greatest, but what was so bad about Alicia helping me?

“You think your cooking is bad? You probably haven’t eaten something Alicia has made yet. I would rather eat your pancakes before I eat something she cooked. That girl has literally put me in the hospital, not once, but twice for food poisoning. Best advice I could ever give you is if Alicia ever offers you food that she made, turn around and run as fast as you can.” He said.

I was laughing so hard by the time he was finished talking that tears were rolling down my face. Now I know why Julie offers to cook every time Alicia says she will.

“I don’t mean to laugh, but that is just so funny.” I said, trying to pull myself together.

“Nah it’s ok, I could listen to you laugh for the rest of my life.” He brushed some hair behind my ear and cupped my cheek with his hand.

“The rest of your life?” I asked him as I stared into his deep warm brown eyes.

“Yes.” He stated.

“Good, cause that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I have so many questions about us, the Luna position, and when you think you’ll finally be ready to complete the mate bond.” I told him.

He pulled his hand back and reached for the covered plates.

“You want to eat while we talk or talk first?” He asked me.

“We can eat and talk.”

He uncovers the plates and hands me one. He then grabbed the champagne bottle and popped it open.

“Well, I’m ready when you are. Ask me anything love.” He handed me a glass and began eating the tacos. “Wow! This is really good. I think you’re getting better at this.”

“Awww thank you! I’ll be making you pancakes in no time!” He chuckled and kept eating.

I took a deep breath in, hoping to calm myself down before I started talking. I was just so nervous about this conversation. I wasn’t exactly sure why, but I just was scared he wouldn’t give me the answers I wanted about us. I hope he was on the same page with me, but I just wasn’t sure what was going on in his head. Letting the breath out, I decided I needed to rip off the Band-Aid and get this over with.

“So, you kissed me yesterday… multiple times in fact. And you also kissed me today. I don’t know about you, but each time was really amazing for me. It made me realize that I’m growing deep feelings towards you, like really deep feelings. I guess what I’m wondering is if you’re also getting similar feelings for me, and if you’ll be ready to complete the mate bond soon. If you need more time, that’s totally fine! I want you to be completely ready for that and I don’t want to pressure you into anything. I just… I mean… ugh… I just don’t want to allow myself to get these feelings for you if there’s a chance you might end up not wanting me.”

We sat there for a couple of minutes in silence, not a saying word to each other. I kept my eyes down towards my lap, refusing to look at him. The fact he was taking so long to respond to me, nearly had me in tears. Why did I have to bring this up? It was clearly way too soon after our first kiss to be talking about this and he clearly wasn’t on the same page with me.

He set his plate down away from him along with his glass. Great, now he is going to leave.

All of a sudden, he grabbed me and placed me on his lap. A surprised gasp left my mouth and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. He placed one of his hands on the back of my head and the other wrapped around me, holding me as close to him as he could.

This kiss was different from the other ones. It was one that instantly steals your breath away and reassures you all at the same time. I grabbed the front of his shirt with both of my hands and pulled myself even closer to him.

We stayed like that for a while and the world melted away, along with all my fears and worries. When we finally separated, we just stared into each other’s eyes.

“When I first locked eyes on you, I thought the Moon Goddess must hate me. I didn’t want a mate and I was determined to never cross paths with you. I laid awake all night and begged the Moon Goddess to take you away from me. Now, I would move heaven and hell to keep you with me forever. I want to wake up with you by my side every day. I want to have more dates like this. I want to cuddle up with you on the couch while we watch a movie together. I want to lead this pack with you by my side as my equal. I want to hear about your day when we are getting ready for bed. I want to make love to you whenever I get the chance to. And, I want to fall asleep with you in my arms every single night until the Moon Goddess calls me home. I don’t think I’m cursed anymore, I believe I’ve been blessed with you. You’ve only been in my life for a month and you have already had such a deep impact on it. You don’t need to worry about anything or my feelings. I’m one-hundred percent yours in every single way Em.”

He gently took his hands and wiped the tears away that were streaming down my face. I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I didn’t know whether to laugh in happiness or continue to cry. This gorgeous, beautiful man had completely stolen my heart and I was definitely not going to ask for it back.

“You okay?” He asked me.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down again. “Yeah, I just wasn’t expecting you to say all that. Thank you for telling me that. I really needed to hear it.” I gave him another kiss and then hugged him.

“Soooo…. When do you want to complete the mate bond?” I asked him as I pulled back to look at him.

“Well, I would prefer to wait until you are ready to accept the Luna position and we do the Luna ceremony. Most likely we’ll complete the bond on the night of the ceremony.” He said.

“That’s also what I wanted to talk to you about. What exactly will I be doing as Luna?”

“As of right now, Alicia and Julie share the Luna responsibilities. If you want, you can follow them around the next few days and see what exactly they do. You can also sit with me all day and see what I do. I want you to do whatever you feel comfortable doing. Some Alphas treat their Luna like they are below them. I however want you as my equal. Meaning if there’s something I do that you think you want to try or possibly can do better than me, we can try it out. I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re beneath me.”

“Ok, that sounds good. I’ll talk to Alicia and Julie about having them show me and I would love to sit and see what exactly you do all day.” I would replace any reason to spend all day with him, even if it means I just sit and stare at him while he does paperwork for the entire day.

“Good. Is there anything else on your mind?” He asked me.

“Actually there is.” I said while giving him a serious look.

“What is it?” He asked me in confusion.

“Can we go inside and watch a movie while we cuddle up on the couch? Maybe have another makeout session?” I asked while I wiggled my eyebrows at him.

His deep booming laugh filled the night around us and caused my heart to flutter.

“Yeah, we can do that little mate.” He said as he leaned down and kissed me again.

I don’t know how I ended up in the meadow that day, or what happened prior. What I do know without any hesitation, is that Alpha Marcus of the Dark Moon pack, is without a doubt the best thing to ever happen to me.