Before I Rise
The Luna's Past

Em’s POV

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

I quickly looked behind me to make sure she was actually talking to me. I was perplexed on how it was possible that she could see me. Up until this very moment, I had practically been invisible. It was a little unnerving that she could see me. On the other hand, I felt a great sense of peace that she could. If anybody here would be able to see me, I was glad it was a familiar face. Though, it brought on more questions than I initially had at the start of this.

“You… you can see me?” I asked, just to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.

Selene nodded her head as her eyebrows scrunched up together in confusion. “Yes I can.” She took a step back to allow some space to separate us. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean ‘what am I doing here’? What are you doing here? What even is this place?”

“I mean, how are you here? It should be impossible for you to be here!” Selene ran a hand down her face. It was interesting to see someone of such importance so frustrated.

“Hold on, this is getting confusing. I’m not sure why you seemed so confused about me being here, when you were the one that brought me here.”

She quickly shook her head. “I’m not the one that brought you here. In fact, it should be impossible for you to be here.”

“Okay…. So if you didn’t bring me here, then who did?” My head was beginning to hurt from this interaction.

Selene shrugged her shoulders in a nonchalant way. “I don’t know. Why don’t you start by telling me exactly what happened before you arrived here.”

“Well…” I cleared my throat before I began. “It started like it always does. I fall asleep and I’m in darkness, then there’s that weird mirror you keep sending me. I walk towards the mirror and see my reflection that looks like me but doesn’t. Evil reflection reaches out and chokes me. However, instead of fighting the reflection off this time, I simply allowed the reflection to guide me through the mirror. Once that happened, I witnessed a woman give birth to twin girls, which she wasn’t happy about by the way. After that scene, I was in a field of tulips and saw two little girls interacting with each other. Then I was in the room where you showed up. And… yeah that’s about it.”

Selene looked utterly confused after I gave her a quick account on what had happened. Her look mirrored what I felt on the inside. I still wasn’t fully understanding why the Moon Goddess was acting this way. Something about this whole situation was just… weird.

Selene let out a big sigh. “Let’s take a walk.”

She didn’t wait for me to respond as she started walking away from me. I walked briskly to catch up with her. She briefly stopped, waiting for me, before descending down the white marble stairs we arrived at. She continued to walk without saying anything to me. I didn’t speak either. I was slightly relieved by the silence between us and in awe at my surroundings.

As soon as we descended the stairs, I was met with the most stunning view I had ever seen. Well one of the most stunning views, nothing could ever top Marcus shirtless in my opinion. Though, this was a pretty close second.

On the left of us as far as the eye could see, were stars that lit up the night. The moon was high in the sky, shining down on the black water below. There were archways, one after another. It gave the illusion that it was all open to the outside. There were stairs that led to a lower overlook towards the ocean. I had a feeling people here had amazing sunrises and sunsets.

To the right side of us there were doors every few feet. I wasn’t sure what was behind those doors, but I had a feeling there might be more bedrooms. The hallway was long, it almost felt like it was never ending.

Finally, we arrived at the last door. It was different compared to the other light gray doors in the hallway. This one was black with designs on the door. I wasn’t sure what the intricate designs met or what they were for, but I felt a strong pull to it.

Selene twisted the door knob hard, before it finally turned all the way. She reached her hand into the darkness before grabbing something and pulling her arm back. She had what appeared to be a torch as she quickly lit the top, finally providing some sort of light in the dark abyss.

“Are you ready?” She asked me.

“For what?” I asked, not knowing even a fraction of what was going on or what she was planning.

“To be enlightened.” She didn’t wait for me to say anything, she just simply walked into the darkness.

I took a step forward, but then stopped. I was overcome with an emotion that I hadn’t really experienced before. I had thought I had felt fear before, but nothing could compare to this. I knew, I hundred percent knew that the minute I followed the Moon Goddess, everything I knew would change. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it or not.

After debating with myself for quite some time, I took a deep breath and stepped into the darkness.

I couldn’t see anything as I stumbled through the dark. I quickly realized that right after I went through the door was a set of stairs. I inched my way down them, hands stretched out to the side of me desperate to replace anything to hold onto to keep me from falling on my face. I could tell that we had to be underground. The walls on either side of me were hard and rough, like a stone. They were cold and at times wet. The air that surrounded me smelled earthy. It surprisingly brought calmness to me.

Finally, after what felt like the stairs were never going to end, I saw a light ahead of me. I took the last few steps as fast as I could while being in the darkness, eager to see why the Moon Goddess brought me here.

“Thanks for leaving me up there by myself with no light.” I grumbled at Selene as a shiver rippled through my body. It was ridiculously cold down here. “What are we doing here?”

She again didn’t say anything. Instead she moved the torch down until it hit something. Suddenly, the area around us was lit up by tall torches. I was amazed at how she simply lit one and the rest followed. From what I could see, none of the torches were connected to each other by anything. It was rows upon rows of torches, as far as I could see. It seemed to be a never ending tunnel.

“Amazing, isn’t it?” Selene turned around to look at me.

“It is, but I’m still not sure why you brought me here.” I confessed, hoping she would finally come out and explain everything.

Selene turned back around and began to walk. “Follow me.”

It took everything in me not to cross my arms and stomp my foot like a child. I was beginning to think the Moon Goddess liked to play games with me. I was growing tired of her avoiding my questions.

I followed her for a while, glaring at her back in annoyance. She didn’t say a word as we walked to wherever she was leading us. I started to wonder if I could just wake myself up. I was already agitated by this and honestly just wanted to be in Marcus’s arms already. I couldn’t wait to tell him about everything I’ve seen. I also hoped he could somehow help me make sense of everything that I witnessed, especially since the Moon Goddess wasn’t.

She finally stopped and moved the torch close to the tunnel wall. What I saw there nearly made my heart leap out of my chest.

“What the hell?” I whispered out, as I looked at the painting on the wall.

It was a painting of me and that stupid mirror. How it got on this wall, in this dark tunnel, I may never know.

“Is that me?” I asked Selene, unsure if my eyes were playing tricks on me.

She nodded her head. “Yes it is and that mirror that you’ve been seeing, it’s called the Memoriam Mirror. It’s used to walk through one’s personal memories. Only the person that lived the memory can walk through it, no one else can.”

“How is that possible since you are here? Did you send me the mirror?” I felt a buzz go down my whole body. Was I about to finally get some concrete answers from her?

“I’m only able to, because we share that one memory. The other two, I wouldn’t be able to actively walk through them since they don’t contain part of my essence. And to answer your other question, no, I did not send the mirror to you.”

I rubbed my face in frustration. “Okay if you didn’t send it, then who did? You must at least know that.”

Selene held a thoughtful expression on her face before asking me another question, “You said it was your reflection but it looked different from you. What did you mean by different?”

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. “I mean it looked exactly like me, except for the eyes. Instead of green they were blue.”

Selene’s eyebrows shot up in surprise before immediately developing into a deep scowl. It almost took me by surprise at how annoyed and angry she looked over this piece of information I shared with her.

“I told her to not get involved. You both are so different yet hold the same stubborn streak. It’s infuriating!”

“And that would be…” I coaxed, trying to get her to come out and say who did it.

She rolled her eyes at me, catching me by surprise. “Oh come on Em, you seriously haven’t figured it out? After everything the mirror showed you and that I’ve shown you.”

“Excuse me, you expect me to just figure out everything by three different scenes that don’t connect with me in any way, and a random painting on a tunnel wall?” I crossed my arms to try to keep me from taking a swing at the Goddess. To say I was a little insulted was an understatement.

She smirked suddenly. “Nice to know that even without your memories, you still have that fire inside you.” She dropped her smirk and walked closer to me, placing her hand on my arm in a sort of comforting way. “Tell me Em, do you recognize anything from what you have seen, other than the painting? What about those two little girls or their mother?”

I shook my head. “No, should I?”

I lied to her. I did recognize something. Not necessarily a face or even a place, it was more a feeling. It was the same feeling I got with Marcus, and up to this point only with him. It was the feeling of being home. Yet, I wasn’t ready to come out with it.

I was scared I would say it and she would laugh at me. Hell, I wanted to laugh at the idea. There was no way I belonged here. I was just simply me. I was simply a human, a Luna, and a mate to the greatest man ever. And to be frank, I didn’t crave to be anymore than that. I liked that I was simple, and that my life was somewhat simple even with all the craziness going on. I didn’t want that to change in any way. I was scared that if it did, I would somehow lose Marcus in the process. That was a risk I wasn’t willing to take.

“The little girl, with the green eyes…” My heart threatened to fall out of my chest as nausea grew in the pit of my stomach. I squeezed my eyes shut, begging whoever was out there that the next words out of Selene’s mouth wouldn’t be the ones I had a feeling were coming. “Her name is Ember… She’s you and you are her. You’re Ember and these my sweet girl, are your memories.”

My eyes popped wide open.

NO!

FREAKING!

WAY!

I shook my head rapidly. “Nope. No way. This isn’t happening! You’re lying!”

Selene simply shook her head and walked closer to me. I immediately took a step back, feeling like my chest was about to cave in any second from now.

“This isn’t real. I’m just hallucinating. Yeah…. I’m totally hallucinating. Maybe I’m sick and this is just a fever dream. I saw that in a movie one time with Alicia and Jules, maybe that’s what’s happening to me. Yeah, that makes sense. I think I might actually pass out.”

I was on the verge of hyperventilating. My mind just could not process what the Moon Goddess said. There was just no way. I didn’t feel like these were my memories and I didn’t recognize anything about this place. She had to be messing with me.

A light bulb went off in my head. “Are you sure you have the right person?”

For the second time, Selene rolled her eyes. “Seriously Ember? I think I would know if I had the wrong person, which you’re not. This is who you are. The only reason you are feeling this way is because you are not willing to accept the truth. Which by the way, is why I was waiting to give your memories back.”

“I think I need to sit down, or lie down. Hell, I might actually need a drink.” I walked backwards until my back hit the wall. I slid down and put my head between my knees, hoping it would help me get a handle on my emotions.

“Oh, I can get you some water if you would like?” She said as she walked closer to me.

I let out a humorless chuckle as I lifted my head to look at her. “Not that kind of drink.”

“Oh,” she said as it dawned on her what I actually meant. “Well, I can always call on Dionysus and have him bring you some wine.”

I looked at her in confusion. “What do you mean?”

She shook her head and waved her hand in the air. “Just forget I said it.”

I paid no attention to her, and instead focused on my breathing. After a while, it finally returned to normal. I was still a little freaked out, but I didn’t feel like I was going to die. Perhaps the Moon Goddess was right, maybe I wasn’t ready to accept the truth.

A very deep part of me, believed in everything she said. That part scared me. I still was so unsure about this and still had a thousand questions pressing on my mind.

I cleared my throat to gain her attention. “You said that you didn’t send me the mirror. Will you please tell me who did?”

She nodded her head. “Of course Ember, I believe…”

“Don’t call me Ember.” I said, interrupting her. “It’s just, I know that I technically am Ember and these are my memories. But, I don’t feel like Ember. I still feel like Em. So for now, can you at least just call me Em?”

Selene’s features softened as she understood where I was coming from.

“Of course Em.” She said with a gentle smile. “As I was saying, I believe that you did not see your reflection. It was in fact your twin, Eve.”

“You seemed surprised when I first told you about the dream and the mirror. Did you not know that my…. Um my… twin was doing it?” I visibly shivered when I said the word twin. It was hard to wrap my mind around the thought.

“No, I did not know she was doing that. I informed Eve when I took your memories away. I didn’t want her to become concerned when you disappeared so I thought by informing her, I was doing a kind thing. I didn’t realize she would take matters into her own hands. Let’s just say, Eve and I aren’t that close.”

That piqued my interest. “Why aren’t you two close?”

Selene let out a heavy sigh. “It’s… complicated. You two patched things up and have grown close again. I, on the other hand, have a hard time letting the past go.”

“What do you mean ‘patch things up?’ Did something happen between us?” I asked her.

Selene scoffed at my question. “You have no idea.” She shook her head in a disapproving way, before stopping suddenly and looking at me. “You know, perhaps if you want to learn more about that you should ask your mate.”

I stood up and looked at her in confusion. “My mate? What do you mean?”

“I think when you wake up from this and the next time you both are getting ready to fall asleep, you should ask him for a bedtime story.”

I waited to see if she would elaborate. She didn’t.

“What do you mean by a bedtime story?”

Selene didn’t answer, instead she simply stared at me. It appeared she was not going to talk more about this. I wondered if all the Gods and Goddesses were this annoying.

“Seriously? Why do you do this to me? I mean, shouldn’t now be the time to finally tell me everything. Why are you still avoiding my questions?”

Selene walked closer to me and grabbed my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. However, it didn’t do much for me. I was way past the point of being comforted. I didn’t want it, I just wanted the truth.

“Em, listen to me. There’s a reason I wanted to do this in a certain way. You have a lot of memories and with that, all of the trauma that you endured. If I just simply let that all come rushing back to you all together, it would not be good. Not for you, and not for anyone around you. I was going to go about this in a nice and gentle way. I also don’t want to accidentally influence your memory in any way, which could happen if I tell you things instead of you experiencing them yourself. It’s best that you wait and let your memories come back in their own time.”

I nodded my head, finally feeling at peace with what she said. From what I have seen so far, it didn’t look like I had a fairytale childhood. I was scared as to what was to come.

“Wait a minute.” I said as something dawned on me. “The last scene I saw, the one with you in it, was after I supposedly shifted. If I had a wolf, what happened to her?”

The Moon Goddess simply shook her head. “I can’t tell you yet. But, don’t worry. You’ll be reunited with her soon enough. If it makes you feel any better, she desperately misses you.”

I nodded my head in acceptance. I wasn’t totally surprised at that. I however, was surprised by the feeling that exploded in my chest at the mention my wolf missed me. I suddenly was very aware that there was a part of me missing. I always assumed it was my memories, but perhaps it was a furry animal.

“Well then, can you at least elaborate on why there is a painting of me in a random tunnel?” I asked her, hoping she would at least give me that.

“Ahhh… this is the Paintings of the Great Queens. Though I never really understood that, since every Queen that has ever ruled has a section dedicated to her life.” She finally explained to me.

“So… what do the paintings exactly represent? Who paints them?” I choose to ignore the ‘Queen’ comment. I wasn’t ready to dive into that.

She shrugged her shoulders. “That’s an excellent question. Nobody knows where they come from. When something significant happens in a Queens life, it ends up down here on a wall. People say it’s to honor the past Queens. Some say it’s to make sure history doesn’t repeat itself. As soon as the Queen gets crowned, she ends up on one of these many walls. Usually, paintings end up on both sides of the tunnel… except for one.”

I sighed as I rolled my eyes. “Let me guess. All of them except one, meaning me.” I looked at Selene as she nodded her head in confirmation. “Of course it’s me. So then, what’s on the wall behind us?”

Selene turned around and pointed. “Why don’t you tell me?”

I slowly turned around, afraid of what I might see. My heart fluttered rapidly in my chest as I looked at the beautiful painting in front of me. It was one that I held near and dear to my heart. It was one of my favorite moments of us together.

There on the wall, was a painting of the night Marcus officially claimed me as his and the pack’s Luna.

“It’s beautiful…” I whispered in awe.

Selene hummed in agreement. “Yes it is.”

I thought for a second. “So, the other part of my supposed wall is actually filled with memories of Marcus and I. That is so cute! Is there anymore?”

Selene scoffed in bewilderment. “What? No this wall isn’t about you and Marcus. It is strictly just about Marcus. You just happened to be in this moment with him.”

I threw my hands up in defense. “Well excuse me for assuming.” I walked closer to the painting. “How many paintings are there of him?”

“Well, let’s walk over this way and see if there’s any recent ones.” Selene said as she started to walk away from where we had come in.

All I could think about was how desperate I was to replace out who painted these. I wanted to see if I could convince them to make a portrait of Marcus shirtless. Just to have something on those lonely nights when he’s on patrol would be nice.

“Are you even listening to me?” Selene asked as she looked back to where I was.

I shook my head. “No.”

She rolled her eyes and kept on walking, not saying another word. Finally she stopped.

“This one is the most recent.”

I looked at the wall, and immediately wished I hadn’t. It was of Marcus, alone. His chest was covered in blood and his face was twisted in agony, as if he had been severely wounded.

“What happened to him?” I gasped out, not believing in what I was seeing.

“I think you mean what’s going to happen to him. This one is in the process of forming, meaning it hasn’t happened yet. See how it’s not yet complete.”

She was right. There seemed to be pieces of it missing. It wasn’t even a full body image, just his upper body. It was immensely different from the previous paintings.

“You mean he’s going to get hurt?” I asked her, desperately hoping she would say something comforting.

She shook her head. “Not necessarily, as long as it hasn’t fully formed, there’s a chance to change it. To stop what’s coming.”

That made me feel slightly better, that there may be a way to stop this from happening.

“Do you know how it’s supposed to happen?” I asked her.

Selene placed her hand on my shoulder as she stepped closer to me.

“It’s time for you to go Em. Until we meet again.”

Before I could stop her, she placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and pushed me backwards.

Next thing I knew, I was slammed back into my body. I moved my hands around to make sure I was really back and felt the comforter under my hand. Just as I was about to open my eyes, a hand clamped over my mouth.

My eyes sprang open, desperate to see who it was. I was unable to since it was still pitch black in the room. I moved my hands around and batted at the person on top of me.

“OW! Stop Em! It’s me.”

I instantly recognized the voice and calmed down.

“Alicia! What are you doing? You scared the crap out of me!”

She shushed me before answering. “Listen to me, I need you to get up quietly and get something warm on. Don’t bother packing anything, we don’t have time.”

“What? What time is it?” I asked her, confused as to why she was in here so late.

“It’s four a.m. Please Em, just do what I say. I need you to hurry!” She urgently whispered.

The hair on the back of my neck stood at attention. Something wasn’t right.

“Alicia… What’s going on?” I quietly asked, unsure if I really wanted an answer or not.

A few heart beats later, she finally said what I had been dreading.

“We are under attack.”

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