(Chapter song ‘Charlie Big Potato’ by Skunk Anansie)

IN THE FOREST

The moist mist hangs just above the ground in between thetrunks.

Dried leaves fall gently to the forest floor as the moondances in the dark branches.

A chill runs through you as take the path to yourdestination. You’ve listened to thetales. You’ve taken in the stories, butyou felt you had nothing to worry about. You’ve never seen one in these woods and you’re safe.

Your boots sink into the soft soil as you navigate thewood. For the most part, you know whereyou’re going, but just on the off chance you aren’t, you stop to check yourdirection.

Adjusting your map and compass you study your plan.

The wind blows and you smell it. You slowly raise your head and sniff. All of a sudden the air around smells likedeath and decay.

A twig breaks and you turn to where the sound camefrom. Pausing to concentrate, you scanthe trees. The dark bushes sway as theawful smell seems to be passing.

After calming your heart, you decide to get moving.

You think to yourself how silly it is to believe thatthere’s demon wolves out here.

The path takes you around a bend and then it hits you. The smell. Your stomach turns and you raise your hand to your nose to blockit. It infects you. Penetrates your skin. You ask yourself what the hell died?

Then you hear something run out of eyesight. Sounds ofleaves crunching and branches snapping seem to surround you.

Your heart rate rises and you start to breathe fast. Your breath clouds in front of you and yourbody heat rises.

The smell increases and you want to puke. The sound of pawshitting the dirt seem to be all over the place.

As panic sets in, you run. Your feet hit the ground and you jump bushes as fast as you can. Your panting breath seems to echo around youas you weave through the trees.

Your fear is compounded when the sounds of barks and howlsfill the forest. You look behind you anddon’t see anything, but loud, dark, growling barks confirm…You’re fucked.

You run faster and faster and whatever is chasing you soundslike it’s keeping up, but where is it?

You jump on a path and take off. It’s seconds when you hear it behindyou. You dare a look and it’s a massiveblack wolf.

It’s red eyes glow bright in the darkness.

You think this is impossible. Wolves don’t look like that. A second glance tells you this is no ordinarywolf.

Now, you start to whine as you try to outrun the beast.

Up ahead you see lights between the trees. Your legs are burning. Your chest is on fire and every nerve isscreaming in panic. Just a few morefeet. It won’t follow you intotown. Just a few more…

You hear it snap and bark and you look back. You scream when you realize it's soclose. You turn back to run even faster,when your foot catches a root and you roll ass over end down the path.

On your stomach, you slowly raise your dirt covered head. Just up the path, you see the town betweenthe trees, but you’re not out of the woods yet.

The beast lets out a growl that shakes you to the core. The stench of it fills every inch ofyou. Last nights dinner threatens torepeat as you shake with fear.

Your eye looks behind you first.

With a shaky breath, you slowly turn onto your back.

It’s a lot bigger than you thought. It’s fur is mangy, matted and wet. Its drool hangs from its mouth and its largecanines drip with venom as it heaves deep, hungry breathes. It growls and licks its lips as it stalkscloser.

A tear falls as you shake your head no and push yourselfback through the dead leaves and dirt.

You look into its red eyes and see a sick mind that only hasone thought.

You look behind you and think, I can make it.

You whip your head to him and stare at his face as he daresyou to try it.

One last look at salvation and you go for it.

Your boots slip in the dirt as you try stand, and your earsalmost explode with the sound of a deadly, booming, barking growl.

With the force of a Mack truck, your body is slammed. Yourfeet leave the ground and the pain of jaws wrapped around your waist has youscream so loud you lose your voice.

He raises you into the air and slams you into the ground. You feel several bones break in severalplaces. Shockwaves of agony flow throughyou.

You try to fight. Youpunch at the animal, but he’s not phased.

A few more slams and he lands your broken body on theground. All you can do is lay there asshock begins to set in. Your eyes followthe wolf as he slowly walks around your body. You want to scream for help, but your broken back has paralyzed yourvoice.

You beg the beast to just kill you, but no. The last thing you see his jaws open wide. His dirty, disgusting mouth rises up and the punchfeels like a wrecking ball as he tears into your body while you’re stillalive. But not alive for long.

You watch as he tears pieces from you and throws themaway. He’s not eating you. He murdered you. For no reason. He hunted you just to kill you.

Your final thoughts run through your mind.

It wasn’t supposed to be real.

It’s not supposed behave like this.

Why wasn’t I faster?

You’re final feeling is the thump of your own heart before itsteeth break through your ribcage and rip it out of your chest.

Your body shakes limply as the wolf digs through it. Tearing every little piece off the bones.

There’s no outrunning it.

There’s no fighting it.

You can’t reason with it. You can’t talk to it. There’s nocuring it.

They wander the places between our homes. Waiting in the trees. Stalking, hunting and stinking. They don’t know what they are. They only know how to kill.

They wait to not be alone anymore. They wait for you to join them. The problem is, once in your presence, itsmind snaps and they only want one thing, to shred every piece of you.

And nobody knows why.

****

I don’t know how long I ran for. Days, weeks, months. It’s all the same now. In here, it doesn’t matter. None of it matters. There is no point to anything anymore. I just know the battle in here isenough. I don’t want the battle outthere.

I ran to get away. Iran to free what little of my mind I had left. Michael quelled the battle, but he didn’t stop the war, only made itquieter. The challenge is alwaysthere. The voice beating me into therecesses of my brain. Pulling on me,tearing at me. I have to fight. I can’t lose. This is my pack, not hers. I willlet her be part of it, but I will die before I let her lead it.

‘Kill.’

‘Stop it.'

‘Kill them all.’

‘No.’

I trot along the banks of a river. In the slow moving water, I catch my bloodsoaked fur. That hiker had itcoming. I should wash his blood off me,but it softens the anguish. So I keep iton me like a warm coat. It tells my mindthat I still exist. I’m still real. She’s not real. She won’t be real. She’s a costume I put on when the windblows. She’s the fake one, not me.

‘We're hungry.’

‘Not hungry enough.'

‘We're bored.’

‘Count sheep.’

‘Eat the sheep.'

‘You killed the guy back there. Be satisfied with that.'

‘I won’t be satisfied until I’m Alpha.’

‘Not this again.’

‘You know I’m right.'

‘Shut up.’

I take a drink in the water and stare at my muddy, dirtyblack fur. My red eyes blink in thesunlight.

I lift my head and lick my lips.

‘You smell that?’

I lift my nose to the air.

‘Wolves. Let’s sayhi.’

Through the small grasses and shrubs, my paws trot along thepaths. The smell of wolves gets strongeras I enter the forest trees. Then thenoise.

It hurts. Itpunches. I stop and lower my head. My eyes close as the rumbling noise grips myeardrums and smashes them together. Thepain of it is excruciating.

‘Stop the noise! Ithurts!’

My lips snarl as I try to contain the boiling rage. I can’t hold it. I push. My claws dig into the ground.

My fur stands on end and my body shakes. My chest grows a horrendous growl as everymuscles takes off and we rush toward the noise with the madness beating downthe door.

My eyes flare and glow red as I breach the trees and grabthe first wolf I see. I tear into himand throw him.

I jump on another and rip his throat out. The Wolves blood layers on that of the hiker.

I attack anything that moves to stop this amplified torturein my ears.

My teeth replace a leg and I shake it like a doll. The wolf yelps loud.

‘SHUT HIM UP! NOW!!’

I let go of his leg and go for his muzzle. I crush it in my jaws.

I stand on him and tear his head off. I throw it and take look around. I’ve stumbled into a pack war. I look down at the body of a rogue wolf.

‘Good. He’ssick. Not me. I’m not sick.’

‘No. You’re insane.’

‘But not sick.’

The noise of the battle crashes over me like a rogue waveand pisses me off even more. My ragefuels my drive to murder everything in sight.

‘SHUT UP!’

I dig into the stomach of a wolf on the ground and hescreams as I rip out his intestines. Ipick him up by his head and throw him.

I run through the field over the blood and fur. I search desperately for the noise and can’treplace it.

I’m hit on my side and roll across the field.

I get to my feet and face the fucker who hit me.

‘KILL THEM ALL!’

‘FOR ONCE WE AGREE.’

I jump in the air at the large black wolf and we bothclash. He throws me away again.

I stand and stare him down. His gold eyes glow. Theypenetrate me. The noise seems to fade ashe snarls.

I walk to my side and he walks too.

I run at him and he rears up with his jaws wide open.

My teeth sink into his waist and he sinks his teeth into myback. We roll on the blood soaked grassand he kicks me off.

Other sick dogs surround me and I stand. They challenge the black wolf and he posturesback.

‘Wait. We’re in the wrongplace.’

I sniff and a rush of fear stiffens my muscles.

‘No.’

I look around wildly.

‘Run.'

A gap in the huddle opened and I took my shot.

‘Run! Run fast!’

I leap over bodies and fights. My legs are soaked in bloody mud.

I hear a bark behind me. I look over my shoulder and the black wolf is chasing me.

‘No! He'll give usback! We can’t go back!’

I hit the trees and command more speed. I turn a bend and he lunges for me. I make a sharp turn back as his body soars overmine and lands on the dirt behind me. Iglance behind me and he is catching up fast.

We need a plan.

I breach the trees and see what I need. I run as fast as I can at a very largeravine.

‘Do it.’

At full speed, I hit the edge and jump. The other side was way out of reach. I close my eyes and feel the wind. It’s all I can feel when my head and body hitthe rock wall. I roll down it, bouncingof large boulders on my way to the bottom.

I land in the rocky sand on my stomach.

Do I feel pain? Ithink so. Is that pain? It’s so hard to tell the difference from myregular pain.

‘Get up. Is he gone?’

I shakily get to my feet. I slowly raise my head and look to the edge. He’s standing tall looking down at me. His black wolf projects a persona ofarrogance I don’t like. I narrow myeyes, huff and turn around. I trot alongthe bottom until it opens to a lower forest and I walk into the dark to rejointhe battle.

‘I’m killing you.’

‘You can’t kill me.’

‘I can too. Easily.’

‘No. You won’tbecause then you’d truly be alone. Youneed me.’

‘Like I need a bullet to the brain.’

‘That can be arranged too.’

‘Let’s just replace some sleep.’

‘OK. Smart ass. Do you know where to replace it?’

‘I though you knew.’

‘Ugh, the blind leading the insane.’

‘I’m not insane, you are.’

‘Only insane people say they aren’t insane.’

‘Cool. Let’s replacesome sleep.’

‘Do you know where?’

‘I swear, I thought you knew.’

I never do replace sleep because she never tells me where itis. So I walk and walk and walk. Kill, kill, kill.

I can be alone. I’malways alone. Except for her. She’s a bitch.

Can you be more than alone?

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