Bend Me, Daddy -
261
Serafina
We were at an impasse.
"I can't lose you, Sera."
I opened my eyes and looked up at him. Enzo was still above me, and still inside of me, his dark eyes burning into mine. I stared up into his hard, handsome face and felt my soul tear in two. Leave?
Or Stay?
I could live without him. I could. I would survive. In these last few months before I'd met him, I'd proven to myself that I was able to survive without the help of anyone else. I'd found a job. I'd made a friend. And I'd survived. And I was happy. I was free.
Until the night I'd knocked on this man's door and everything had changed.
"Stay with me." He brushed his lips over mine, and my heart ached at the tenderness in that kiss, so unlike him.
"I can't live my life always running," I told him. "And you can't tell me our life together will be all white picket fences and children and dogs running in the yard. It would be a life on the run. You can't just up and leave the mafia, Enzo."
He rolled off of me, but stayed close, propping his head up on his elbow so he could see my face. "You're right. Between your new reputation and mine, we would always be looking over our shoulder if we were together."
It's the same thing I'd been thinking, but to hear him say it out loud...I choked down the sob in my throat.
"I have an offer for you," he said.
I didn't trust myself to speak yet, so I watched his expression, waiting for him to say more.
"Let's go back to our original deal we agreed on."
"The deal that we've both reneged on?"
One corner of his mouth turned up. "Yes. That one." All amusement left his face. "I swear I'll uphold my end. We'll draw up a contract. Put it in writing with witnesses. All I ask is that you stay with me, without constantly thinking of ways you can escape, for one month. If, after that one month, you still want to go, I'll give you everything I promised for you to start your life over. That will also give us enough time for all this shit around Luigi's death to settle down. Once the capos see you're not a threat, they'll move on to other things to worry about." He brushed a few strands of hair from my face. "But I'm hoping that after that one month, you'll see it won't be so bad for you if you stayed."
I wanted to believe him.
"Give me a chance, Sera. That's all I'm asking for. I just want a fucking chance."
"I replace it hard to believe you'll just let me go if that's what I choose."
"And you'd be correct, but that gives me a month to figure out a way for us to have a life together without my family hunting us down."
I smiled, but it quickly faded away. "You told me once that you made a vow to Luca never to leave him. You've spent most of your life protecting him. How will you just be able to leave?" It was a nice fantasy. But I knew mafia men, and I knew this man in particular. I could see how deep his loyalty ran to the two men he considered closer than family.
His dark eyes, so full of pain and promises, traveled over my face. "Losing either of them would tear me up inside. But I would eventually heal enough to keep going if I had you. Losing you," He paused, as though he was having trouble just saying the words. "Losing you would destroy me completely. I'd never recover from such a loss. And I wouldn't want to. I can't lose another part of me, Sera...I can't."
He was talking about his wife and son.
"And that's why I can't just let you walk away from me without knowing where you are and if you're okay. If you're happy. If you're safe. Please, don't ask me to do that."
It wasn't a confession of love, but it was as close as I was going to get.
For now.
"Okay," I told him. "I'll stay. For one month."
He closed his eyes with relief, yet there was still a shadow of disbelief when he opened them again. Cupping my face in his hand, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. "Thank you."
I agreed to go back to Luca's, where the security was better, and thirty minutes later, we walked out of the hotel hand in hand. I waited on the sidewalk, shifting my weight from foot to foot in these damn heels, as Enzo let go of my hand and walked over to the valet counter to have them fetch the SUV so he could take us back to the lake house. It was too early in the morning for most people to be out and the streets were empty other than the very occasional car, usually a cop. They were either sleeping or just falling into their beds after a night at the clubs.
Feeling a sense of peace for the first time in a long time, I smiled at the girl who ran past me with Enzo's keys, watching her as she jogged around the corner to go get the SUV. As I turned my head back to Enzo, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. It was just a glint of light off of some kind of hard surface, but it was enough to make me turn my head.
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A black car was coming toward us with its headlights off. At first, I thought the person driving must've just forgotten to turn them on. It happened a lot in the city because the streets were so lit up anyway. As it reached the hotel, it slowed and the passenger side window rolled down. The man inside was looking straight at Enzo.
From that moment on, everything seemed to happen both in slow motion and crazy fast all at once.
The barrel of a gun slid out the window, and it was pointed at Enzo. My eyes shifted to him, talking to the other valet, and I moved without realizing what I was doing, my mouth open to scream his name.
I watched as his head whipped around, his eyes latching onto me, trying to see what was wrong before the car caught his attention. He threw out his hand-to reach for me? To push me away?-just as I heard the pop of gunshots. Terrified he was going to die right in front of my eyes, I threw myself at him. I think I was trying to knock him out of the way.
Something hit me in the back, right above my left shoulder blade, and again, a little bit lower. The force of the impact threw me against Enzo, but he caught me and lowered me down to the ground. Pain flared through my torso until I gagged on it as I tried to hang onto him. To pull him down with me out of the way.
Black dots danced in front of my eyes. They began to flutter closed, and I fought to keep them open as I watched Enzo. He was crouched over me, one arm around my shoulders and the other hand holding his gun as he fired shots back at the car. I heard a squeal of tires and smelled burning rubber...
The next time I opened my eyes it was to see Enzo's face above mine, his dark eyes searching my face, and I was so happy he took off his sunglasses so I could see his beautiful eyes.
"Sera!"
"SERA!!"
I opened my mouth to ask if he was okay. I tried to tell him that it hurt. That I was sorry. But I couldn't get my voice to work.
And then blackness danced at the corners of my vision, closing in until there was nothing.
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