Bittersweet Obsession
Chapter 11: Another Task

As she walked home, the steady beat of her footsteps gave her a moment to contemplate. Her mind wandered as she walked down the familiar streets in the fading light. During these times alone, she often thought about her life, the decisions she had made, and the constant challenges she had to deal with. With each step, she looked deeper into herself to replace answers and a way to deal with the complicated parts of her life.

Feeling nervous, careless, and impulsive seemed foolish to Tamara. She knew she wasn't a fool, but still, she couldn't calm the butterflies in her stomach like a poisonous snake when she encountered new situations and people. This struggle was a part of her daily life as she moved forward..

She also had sudden panic attacks, which made her make many mistakes. Her eyes, brain, nervous system, and limbs seemed to be out of sync with each other. Working in a restaurant, where there were lots of different people with different tastes and demands, didn't help. To make matters worse, her more senior coworkers sometimes yelled at her and insulted her.

But there was no way for her to avoid the mistakes she frequently made due to her carelessness, which earned her a reputation for being unlucky. It wasn't just the head chef at the restaurant; even her friends and her Aunt Rita, whom she occasionally helped with her catering business, often scolded her for repeating the same mistakes. She couldn't forget the head chef's words earlier: was there really anyone as foolish as her?

If she could go back in time, she honestly wouldn't choose to live a life like this. She'd rather be somewhere else, like her classmates who often spent time together in cafes, watching movies, strolling through shopping centers, or simply enjoying moments with their families.

While her friends were out having fun and enjoying life, she had to do her daily chores. On top of that, she worked every day from 4 to 9 p.m. at Urban Parlor as a part-time job. In addition, she sometimes worked part-time at the public library on Saturday mornings, even though it paid less.

Saying no wasn't really an option for her. She had to take on these jobs to make ends meet. That didn't mean she couldn't voice her opinions and firmly decline when necessary. She disliked confrontation as it often led to headaches. Naturally, she didn't want to argue with her mother about what she shouldn't do, especially when the cost of living was on the rise.

Securing the job as a waitress at the Urban Parlor had been no easy feat for Tamara. It had required her to plead with Erica to pull some strings on her behalf. As luck would have it, Erica still had close ties to Ronan. It was through this connection that Tamara finally landed the job a year ago, even though she was still under 18 years old, below the standard age for restaurant workers at the time. This opportunity had come with its own set of challenges, but it was a lifeline for Tamara in her pursuit of financial stability.

Thanks to Erica's assurances and Ronan's kindness, Tamara had finally been accepted to work at the restaurant. After all, it was just a few hours a week, wasn't it? She consoled herself with the thought that perhaps this was her way of earning a reward for doing a good deed. The prospect of financial stability and the chance to prove herself were motivations that kept her going, even when the odds seemed stacked against her.

Now, she had already lost the job she had fought so hard to secure and the weight of that loss pressed heavily on her. All because of one man - Judson Beauregard. The frustration and anger welled up within her as she thought about how his presence had disrupted her life. It was a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that the consequences of this encounter could jeopardize her financial stability and her sense of purpose. She couldn't help but feel a deep sense of injustice as she grappled with the reality of her lost job.

Tamara hurried into her apartment, shivering from both the cold outside and the rain that had soaked her to the bone. To her dismay, it was actually colder inside than outdoors. The windows of her apartment had begun to leak, and the walls were damp and covered in mold, filling the air with an unpleasant musty odor.

As if that wasn't enough, cold air came in through the many holes in the windows. Sadly, there was no extra money to spare for repairs, as they were tightening their belts and living on a tight budget at the moment.

The room was as quiet as it always was. Her mother was probably sleeping in her room, and Brianna must have gone out somewhere. She tiptoed into the kitchen, making sure not to make any noise. When she opened the fridge, she was pleasantly surprised to replace several new packages of food and veggies. Given that they usually struggled to afford enough food, it was quite amusing. It seemed like her aunt had a good day and was able to send them a few groceries. After cleaning up the kitchen and sweeping the floor, Tamara had every intention of going back to her room to continue studying. Tomorrow was a big exam in Media and Cultural Studies, and she wasn't sure how well she knew the subject. Journalism and Mass Communication was hard subject for her to study, especially in her present situation, when her brain felt cramped and scattered. But despite the chances, Tamara was eager to make the most of her higher education and work towards a better future.

She was well aware that her only ticket out of this complex and challenging situation was to study diligently and secure a scholarship. There was no extra money for her family to save, so she had to pave her own way to a brighter future. She may not have been the top student in her class, but she compensated with sheer determination and unwavering effort.

Compared to her classmates, her academic performance was average, but she was willing to bide her time for another fifteen months until graduation. But during that time, she also had to deal with Bella and her gang of bullies, which made her journey even harder.

Despite her strong desire to study diligently that night, Tamara found herself struggling to keep her eyes open as drowsiness crept in. In the end, exhaustion won, and she fell into a deep slumber. The next thing she knew, she was jolted awake by a gentle poke on her shoulder. Her eyes widened in surprise, and her heart raced until she realized it was her mother who had awakened her.

"Good, you're okay," Amber said.

"Mom, are you still awake?" Tamara mumbled, and her voice was drowsy. "You should be resting in bed." She furrowed her brows as she couldn't help but worry about her mother's health.

Amber managed a faint smile, her eyes filled with concern as she responded, "I couldn't sleep, sweetheart. Well, I'm sick, but I'm not paralyzed. Besides, I wanted to make sure you were doing alright. I noticed your light was still on, so I thought I'd come and check on you."

"I'm glad you're here, Mom. I'm doing okay, just a little bit tired and sleepy from studying for that big exam tomorrow. But you should really rest and take care of yourself. You being sick worries me."

"I understand, sweetheart. I'll go lie down in a moment. Just promise me you'll get some rest too. Your health is just as important."

"Alright, Mom. Oh, by the way, do you know what time it is?"

"It's almost midnight. You should get some rest soon, sweetheart."

"I will, Mom. Thank you. By the way, where's Brianna? Is she back yet?"

Amber shook her head sadly and replied, "No, she hasn't returned yet. I hope she's safe wherever she is."

Before Amber could dwell on anything that might make her feel sad, Tamara tried to offer some comfort. "I'm sure she'll be fine, Mom. Let's not worry too much. She's probably just hanging out or studying with her friends." Amber offered a faint smile, appreciating her daughter's attempt to ease her worries. She replied, "You're right. I shouldn't let my imagination run wild. Let's hope she comes back soon."

"Exactly, Mom. She'll be back before we know it. Now, you should get some rest, and I'll study a little more before I go to bed."

Before leaving, Amber fixed her gaze on Tamara and mentioned, "By the way, your Aunt Rita was coming this afternoon."

It reminded her of the groceries she had found in the fridge and she replied, "Oh, I think I know it. It seems she sent us some groceries. Maybe she's coming to check up on us and drop them off in person. But did she mention any specific reason for her visit?"

"Yes, she mentioned something about a big order she'll have within three days. She might need your help with it, Tamara."

"I see. Well, if Aunt Rita needs my help, I'll do my best to help her. It's the least I can do."

"What about your jobs and your studies, sweetheart? Will you be able to manage everything?"

"I'll figure it out, Mom. I'll make sure to balance them."

At that moment, the apartment was very quiet until the door opened. It was Brianna, coming home after her time out. As she walked in, the door made a familiar creaking sound, and the apartment seemed to come to life.