Bleeding obsession
60) Don't deserve to live!

Authors pov

Xavier was sitting In his study on the floor, leaning against the small cupboard.

He was in total mess after he returned from the hospital. His hair was messed up, shirt was scrunched and drained with alcohol. His eyes has turned red from crying.

He was crying whole day in his study. It was still hard for him to believe that Sarah is no more. But everything was telling him the same thing that she is dead. They even asked for the medical report and matched it with her previous medical records and it matched. There was no doubt.

This News broke Xavier completely. She wasn't leaving his mind. All her memories are still prominent in his mind. The way she cried and begged him before leaving.

The way she looked at him with broken state when he closed the door on her face. The look of betrayal were haunting him.

'why you left me like this Sarah... I know I was wrong, I did everything wrong. I trusted you were I shouldn't and didn't trust you where I should have. I failed as a husband and lover. I couldn't see that you were lying when you broke up with me. How can I believe your words even after years of relationship. I couldn't protect you from the pain... You suffered alone. You were always strong, I know but that doesn't mean you had to deal with everything. Why didn't you asked me about my past, what stopped you. Why you didn't tell me that you are sick, that you are depressed and dealing with anxiety... Things would have been different if you would have tell me that you don't remember your collage days...'

He clutched on the glass and broke it into pieces. He was not in his right senses. He took the piece of glass and started carving on his arm.

'I can't imagine myself without you... I never stopped loving you. It was just a blind anger. I am sorry... Please come back. You can't leave me like this. You were the only one for me and no one can take your place in my heart...'

He carved her name and drenched himself in his own blood.

'I deserve punishment... Please come and punish me... But don't leave me like this. It so hard to breath without you...'

"Xavier what the fuck are you doing?"

Ace yelled as he saw his hand.

"Are you fucking crazy..."

He looked at him horrified.

Ace quickly wrapped his handkerchief and Started looking for a Medical kit. He checked all the drawer and finally opened the last one. When he opened he saw letter in it. It was the same letter which Sarah gave him with divorce papers.

Xavier never needed medical kit when he was in office so he never opened the drawer and letter stayed there unread.

Ace opened the letter and his eyes widened when he saw that it's from Sarah. Xavier saw that and stood up.

"What's that?"

He asked as he saw Ace tensed.

"Nothing important... Give me

our hand..."

He said but Xavier wasn't having it. If Xavier read this letter then it will be another blow for him.

Xavier snatched the letter from him and started reading it.

'I don't know if you were expecting or thinking about it or not but for me it's a big and important step. I know you are forced into this marriage and so am I.

When I first saw you, I was really scared of you but time told me that you are not that bad. You have done so much for me Xavier, more than my family could ever do.

I know it must be hard for you to accept a total stranger girl in your life whom you don't even know and same is happening with me.

The night we spent together will always be in my mind and soul. It's the only night which I can remember as most of the part of my life is blur.

I am really thankful that you gave me that memory, I needed that very much. You were like a rain in dry desert to me and I'll be always grateful for the comfort you gave me.

You are still a stranger to me but you have create a small place in my life which will be unforgettable for me.

You are rude but a nice guy Xavier, and I don't want to be a burden on you. It will be better if we part our ways peacefully. That's why I need divorce.

I tried to talk to you about it in person but you are too busy for me so I have no choice but to write a letter. I wish you a good life ahead. Goodbye.

-Sarah'

Letter fell from his hands as he finished reading.

"She did tell me... I couldn't hear..."

He mumbled as his heart clenched in pain.

"Xavier it's not your fault..."

Ace said.

"It is... I was so blind in my anger that I couldn't see anything..."

He shook his head.

The guard came inside at the same time.

"Sir we found this bag in the garden... It has gift in it..."

Xavier snatched the bag from his hand and guard left.

"She was going to give me this yesterday..."

He mumbled and desperately opened the gift. Ground beneath her feet slipped away when he saw things inside it.

The pregnancy kit and cute tiny shoes with card which has massage on it.

"Hello dad, I am coming soon..."

Ace grabbed his head in disbelief. She was pregnant and now Xavier can't take this. This is the last thing which should have happened at this time.

"I killed my wife and child..."

Xavier looked at Ace with Broken state.

"No you didn't... It was an accident..."

Ace tried to assure me.

"I killed them and I don't have a right to live anymore... I want to meet them, I have to apologize..."

He said taking out his gun.

"I am going to meet my Sarah..."

He placed the barrel of gun on his head and Ace looked at him horrified.

"I don't deserve to leave..."

Ace held his hand at the same time and bullet hit the ceiling instead of his head.

"Are you fucking crazy..."

"Why you are stopping me... Let me die, I want to meet her..."

He yelled.

"Sarah did so many things to keep you alive... You can't kill yourself and be ungrateful to her. She wouldn't have wish this if she were here... She wanted you to live that's why she sacrificed so much... Think about it. Instead of dying for her, live for her... If you want her Forgiveness then live like this, this is your punishment..."

Ace yelled.

After hours Ace finally convinced Xavier that he shouldn't die.

Finally they arrived at funeral. Xavier was numb like a dead body. His tears finally dried and left desert of pain behind.

Henry and Peter was also present there.

"Do you have hand in this?"

Peter asked Henry.

"No, I wanted to kill her but trust me I don't know how this happened... Whatever it made my work easy..."

Henry rolled his eyes.

"Then how did she died..."

Peter asked.

"How would I know... I was in London when this happened..."

Henry shrugged. He himself has no idea how Sarah died but he was happy when he heard the news.

Xavier saw Peter smiling and lost it.

"You fucking bastard..."

He growled and strode towards him.

He punched Peter hard making him fell on the floor.