hapter 9 Do Not Regret This

Upon reaching City Hall, Nathaniel checked his watch; it was exactly ten o’clock. He was about to call Cecilia to see if she had arrived when he spotted her standing under a large tree in the distance, dressed in dark, somber clothing. From afar, amidst the faint drizzle, she looked especially frail, as though a light breeze could knock her over. He recalled how vibrant Cecilia had been when they first got married—youthful, radiant, full of life. But now, she seemed lifeless and disturbingly thin. Umbrella in hand, Nathaniel walked straight toward her. It took a moment for Cecilia to notice him. As she observed him, she realized that despite the three years that had passed, Nathaniel had hardly changed. He was still as handsome and spirited as ever, but now there was an added air of maturity and competence. Cecilia felt a strange sense of disorientation, as if the past three years had slipped by in the blink of an eye, yet also felt like they had consumed an entire lifetime. Nathaniel approached, his dark eyes coldly staring at her, expecting an apology. She’s finally had enough of the theatrics! But to his surprise, Cecilia simply said, “I’ve kept you from your work. Let’s head inside.” Nathaniel’s expression stiffened, quickly turning cold. “Don’t regret this,” he uttered, then turned and walked toward City Hall. Cecilia watched him walk away, a pang of heartache hitting her. Do I regret it? I’m not sure. All I know is that I’m tired. When a person decided to leave, it was often because they had lost all hope, their heart filled to the brim with disappointment. At the divorce processing window, when the staff member asked if they had truly decided to divorce, Cecilia answered confidently. “Yes.” Her resolute gaze made Nathaniel feel a sudden heaviness. After completing the formalities, they were informed of the cool off period. They would have to return in a month to finalize the divorce. If they did nothing, the application would automatically become void. As they stepped out of City Hall, Cecilia looked at Nathaniel, her composure unusually calm. “See you next month. Take care,” she said before stepping into the rain and hailing a taxi. Nathaniel stood rooted to the spot, watching as the taxi disappeared into the distance. He couldn’t quite identify the feeling stirring within him. It must be liberation, right? He no longer had to be entangled with her or endure the ridicule of others for having such a disabled wife. Just then, Zachary’s call came through. “Nathaniel, is it all taken care of?” “Yeah,” Nathaniel replied. “I’ve heard there’s a cool off period. Don’t let your guard down with the little deaf girl—she surely has more tricks up her sleeve,” Zachary warned. Indeed. After over a decade of being entangled with Cecilia, who would believe she had suddenly decided to let go? Sitting in the taxi, Cecilia leaned against the car window, watching the raindrops slide down the glass, lost in thought. The driver glanced at the rearview mirror and was startled to see fresh blood trickling down her ear. “Miss! Miss!” he called out several times, but Cecilia didn’t respond. The driver quickly pulled over. Confused, Cecilia looked around. They hadn’t reached their destination yet—why had they stopped? She looked at the driver, watching his lips move before she realized she couldn’t hear again. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.” The driver typed a message on his phone, showing her the situation. Cecilia sluggishly reached up, her fingertips registering the warm sensation of blood. I’ve gotten used to this. “It’s okay,” she said, “I’m often like this—it’s not a big deal.” Her hearing impairment hadn’t always caused bleeding. Two years ago, at a social gathering, Zachary had pushed her into a swimming pool. Cecilia, unable to swim, had nearly drowned, and the trauma had caused her eardrums to swell. That incident marked the beginning of her hearing issues. It had been manageable until recently, when it started happening frequently again. The driver, uneasy, insisted on taking her to the nearest hospital. Cecilia thanked him and went to see her doctor. The doctor, her long-time primary physician, greeted her with concern. “Dr. Zagon,” Cecilia said, “I’ve noticed my memory failing me lately. I keep forgetting what I’m doing.” That morning, it had taken her a while to remember that she was supposed to divorce Nathaniel. So, she had arrived at City Hall early, revisiting his text messages to remind herself. The doctor reviewed her recent diagnostic report, his expression grave. “Ms. Smith, I recommend you consider additional examinations, perhaps on a psychological level.” Psychological level… Following the doctor’s advice, Cecilia underwent a psychological test. The diagnosis confirmed that she was also suffering from depression. Severe depression often led to memory loss. Before returning to the motel, Cecilia bought a notebook and a pen. She wrote down everything that had happened recently and left it by her bed so it would be the first thing she saw when she woke up. When it was time to rest, Cecilia picked up her phone, searching for methods to treat depression. She stumbled upon a quote: I hope you can do your best to heal yourself instead of fantasizing that someone else will save you. After reading it in silence, Cecilia turned off her phone and closed her eyes. The news of her divorce from Nathaniel had caused quite a commotion. That night, her mother, Paula, made several calls, but Cecilia didn’t hear them. When she woke up the next day, she saw the messages from Paula: Where are you? Who do you think you are? Even if it comes to divorce, it should be Nathaniel who doesn’t want you! You’re nothing but trouble! When you got married, your father had a car accident. Now with this divorce, are you trying to bring the Smith family to ruin? Cecilia was used to these kinds of messages. She typed a response: Mom, from now on, we need to be self-reliant and not rely too heavily on others. Soon, another message from Paula came through: You’re nothing but an ungrateful wretch! I should have never given birth to you! Cecilia didn’t respond, setting her phone aside. She thought to herself that once the month passed and the divorce was finalized, she would leave Tudela and start anew. In the following days, Cecilia’s health visibly deteriorated. Her bouts of deafness became more frequent, and her memory continued to fade. The previous day, she had forgotten the way back to the motel after dining out, relying on her phone’s navigation system to return. Her hearing might be incurable, but her depression wasn’t. Determined to replace purpose, she signed up online to volunteer, caring for elderly folks who had lost their families and some orphans. Watching them receive help gave her a reason to keep going. A few days later, one morning, Cecilia awoke as usual and glanced at the notebook she kept by her side. She prepared to head to the orphanage but noticed a series of unread messages on her phone. They were from Paula, Magnus, and… Stella. Paula: As you wished, the Smith family has now fallen. Magnus: Go ahead, keep hiding. I’ve never seen a sister as cold-hearted and cowardly as you. Stella: My condolences, Cecilia. Truth is, the Smith family can thrive better under Nathaniel’s control. Stella: Considering the past financial support I’ve received from the Smith family, if there’s anything you need, let me know. I’ll help if I can. After exiting the message screen, Cecilia still had no idea what had happened. It was then a notification for trending news popped up.