Broken Souls
Chapter 31: Who Am I

Kay’s POV

The next morning we head back to the Wolf Moon Pack. While I prefer to leave this strange pack, I miss being home. I know why we need to go back to Eric and Rana’s pack and continue with the war preparations. No one believes that this is over yet. I know it is not. Oriel and Michael have already returned to the Wolf Moon to keep training the warriors and to up the defenses. They are preparing for an attack at any moment. Most of the other packs have joined the alliance. They have sent as many warriors as they feel they could spare without making themselves valuable for an attack.

The drive back is quiet. I am sitting in the seat with Aaron holding me. He’s still acting like I may disappear at any moment, but I really don’t mind him staying so close. He doesn’t know it, but he’s keeping me from reliving the horrible visions that Hadeon filled my mind with. I know I will need to talk with Grandma and share more of what happened, but I wasn’t ready to do that yesterday. For now, I am just happy to be safe and to know the people I love most are safe. It isn’t long into the drive before I’m dozing off, and I feel Aaron hold me closer running his fingers up and down my arm. The car coming to a stop was enough to wake me, but I still can’t wait to go to bed. Hopefully in the morning, I will have more energy. Grandma and I have work to do.

I wake in the morning well before the sun, but Aaron is already awake still holding me close.

“I don’t think I want to let you go off with anyone today. I think I want to keep you right here next to me,” he says leaning down and kissing me. His kiss soon becomes hungry and needy, and he’s not alone. But when he pulls back his face gets that faraway look, and I know someone is linking with him. With everything that has been going on, he isn’t blocking anyone, so we have already been interrupted a couple of times.

Aaron blinks a few times and puts his forehead to mine sighing. I giggle a little. I already know he has some emergency or problem to help fix. Eric has been leaning on Aaron a lot in helping to keep everything running smoothly.

“Are you sure you are up to training with Willow? You are still recovering,” Aaron says as he gets out of bed and moves to the closet to get dressed.

“Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better. Even Diana seems to be back to normal,” I say smiling as I feel Diana purring watching Aaron in just his sweatpants. She’s also pouting that we were interrupted.

When Aaron sees me staring at him, he smirks a little as he goes in the closet to get dressed. I get up and stretch. I’m finally not as sore, and I hope that after I’m done with training with Grandma, I can maybe replace Oriel and join her for some physical training. I want to be prepared for anything. I may be small as a human, but Diana is anything but small. We both want to be able to defend ourselves and be able to take on anything Hadeon and Seth may try.

Aaron comes out of the closet dressed like he’s heading to the training grounds. I’m still standing by the bed in nothing but his tee shirt. As his eyes lock with mine, it’s pretty easy to tell what he’s thinking. I can’t help but tease him a little by stripping off the oversized shirt and smirking at him.

“You don’t play fair, “Aaron pouts knowing he has to go.

“What? I’m just getting ready to take a shower,” I say giving him a shy smile. As I turn away from him, I feel his needy arms wrap around me as he starts kissing my neck and shoulder.

“I thought you had to go?” I say as I melt into him.

“They can wait. Let’s take that shower,” Aaron says turning me around and carrying me off into the bathroom.

After our very long shower, Aaron really did need to go. I keep trying to feel badly about keeping him to myself, but I really don’t feel guilty at all. I know I’m late getting to the library to meet Grandma as well. I don’t even have time for coffee as I run down the hall. I get to the door and try to compose myself before going inside. Grandma and Rana are both sitting at the table, and thank God they have food and coffee waiting.

“We thought we would have breakfast brought here. It seem both you and Aaron are running late today,” Rana says winking at me. I know my face is bright red. I can feel the heat coming off it.

I take a seat at the table, and Grandma passes me a cup of coffee.

“Kay, I know you may not want to talk about it, but we are going to need as much information as you can give us. I was being blocked out most of the time you were captured. I only saw enough to have a small idea how to replace you. Then, you got lost in the void, and I needed you to let go of the magic before it took you with it.”

“Is that what that was? I didn’t know where I was, or how I got there. It was just nothingness.”

“Yes, it’s called the void because that is what it is, and if you follow the magic too far into it, you become part of it. That’s what I want to work on with you. You need to be able to let go of the magic just as much as you need to be able to take hold of it.”

I nod as the information sets in. I could really have been lost if Grandma hadn’t reached me.

“Now Kay, what happened? Please tell us everything you remember,” Rana says looking right in my eyes. I look at Grandma, and she has the same look on her face as Rana. Both are willing me to start talking. I pick up a muffin off the tray of food and mostly pick at it as I tell them everything from the moment I got in the SUV and started having that strange feeling of uneasiness to John taking me. I explain to them about Seth and how deranged he seemed. He was so distracted and different than the way he was before I was rescued.

When I get to the part about seeing Hadeon in the clearing, Grandma and Rana both gasp.

“You saw him? You are sure it was him?” Grandma asks with a look of terror on her face.

“Yes, it was more like a shadow, but I could see his face,” I answer feeling more uneasy

“Oh, dear this is worse than I thought,” Grandma remarks.

“Then what did you do?” Rana questions leaning forward

“I screamed no, and this blue wave sort of shot out of me. It hit him and all his dark magic,” I respond feeling less confident.

“What? Could you see is magic?” Grandma asks sounding more shocked.

“Well, yeah. Can’t everyone with magic do that?” I feel silly asking, but I just thought it was a normal thing.

“No, everyone can’t do that. You seem to have a lot of unique gifts dear,” says Grandma. “I want to try something. Rana can you use a simple spell and move something, but don’t say what you plan on moving. Kay, I want you to focus and see if you can see the flow of magic.”

Rana and I nod. I try to relax and focus. It only takes a second before I see the purple flow of magic coming from Rana and heading for the stack of books still sitting on the table.

“She’s going to move the books,” I say as her magic reaches them. “And her magic is purple if you want to know.”

“Oh, I know dear. I can see it too. Something tells me you have all the powers I had. I don’t know how you have them, but thank God you do. You are going to be the one to stop Hadeon.” Grandma is now smiling at me.

“But I don’t know what I’m even doing. I beat him in the clearing with luck. I didn’t know what to do,” I respond a bit in shock.

“Sometimes that’s all you need. We are going to teach you to control the flow of magic through you, so it doesn’t try and take you with it. Soon, it will be as easy as breathing. Trust me, you can do this, and you won’t be doing this alone. I will be with you. Even when we face Hadeon, it will be together,” Grandma says patting my hand and giving me a warm smile.

Diana chimes in: “You have me too, and together we are stronger. Our bond with Aaron has made us even stronger. We can do this, and we have to. This has to end so everyone can be safe.” I know she’s right, and I am a little excited about getting better at all of this magic stuff.

“Okay let’s get started,” I say giving Grandma and Rana a small smile.

I spend hours with Rana just practicing connecting and disconnecting from the flow of magic. I also practice moving things as well as a few simple spells. By the time we finish, I feel like I had spent hours sparing with Oriel. I’m tired and strangely sore. Granma says that’s to be expected: magic takes the same energy as everything else, and the more you do, the more energy it requires. That is also the reason that Hadeon was draining the bodies in the clearing: he was using whatever energy he could to hold his form. Grandma tells me to keep practicing the block I used when I was being held by Seth. It clearly works, and it is something I should be able to do quickly because Hadeon may try and attack my mind again even while I’m here safe and protected.

Grandma informs me of the number of witches that are here as well as about all of the protection spells. She even takes me outside to show me, and I can see the rainbow of swirling magic flowing around the pack house and the surrounding area in a vast bubble. It is incredibly beautiful, and if I had been more awake when we arrived, I’m sure I would have been in awe of it then.

Grandma looks at me like she’s trying to figure me out.

“What?” I finally ask her.

“Nothing. I was just remembering someone a lot like you. I don’t know how you seem to have so much power, but I’m thankful you do,” Grandma answers hugging me close to her. As she holds me, I’m hit with a vision. It is a cold terrible vision like my waking nightmares that Hadeon tortured me with. This one isn’t being sent by him, however. I can see my mother and Seth rapping her, but it isn’t Seth, not really. The eyes aren’t his, and the black figure engulfing him is Hadeon. Hadeon used Seth and my mother to create me. But why? I know Grandma saw it too because the look of horror and the tear running down her face as she looks at me.

“Oh, my dear Kay,” She finally says hugging me again as I cry.

“Who am I?”

“Come with me Kay,” Grandma says taking my hand. She leads me back inside, and I feel numb. I don’t know where that vision came from, and I wish I could just unsee it and forget it. Was it even real? Is my mind still under Hadeon’s control? I feel like I’m losing my grip on what is real and what isn’t. What if all of this has just been one of Hadeon’s mind games, and I’m still locked in that room?

I feel Diana pushing through in my mind telling me she’s really with me, but I’m still doubting everything. I hardly notice when we make it to Grandma’s room, and she’s pushing the door open.

“Kay, dear, I need you to listen.” Grandma’s words seem to help clear my head a bit, and I look at her warm face.

“Dear, you need to listen to me. You are safe, and you are here with me. Trust that. I don’t know if Hadeon meant for you to see that or not, but finally everything is clearer to me.”

“How does any of this make any sense?” I’m yelling at Grandma. I have never yelled at her, but I can’t keep my anger and my fear under control anymore. I don’t even know who or what I am any more.

“Kay, I know this is hard to understand. I will try to explain, but I finally know why he needs you; I had a thought that it just had to do with your gift for healing. That isn’t it. Hadeon made you. You are the door and the key for him to return. He put part of his stolen power and himself in you. You are as much his child as Seth’s. Hadeon needs your soul for his power to return to this realm completely. You are his way out.”

I sit down on Grandma’s bed. I don’t feel anything. I was angry, but now, I just don’t feel anything. I can’t even figure out what I should feel. Diana has gone quiet in my head, and she seems at a loss. I was MADE. I am part of some escape plan. I am as much Hadeon’s daughter as I am Seth’s. How should I feel right now?

I have no idea how long I have been sitting on Grandma’s bed with her watching me like a bomb that might explode at any moment. The banging on the door makes us both jump. When Grandma opens the door, I see Aaron in the doorway with a worried look on his face.

“What happened? I got hit with all of Kay’s emotions, then nothing. I can’t even reach her with a mind link,” Aaron says looking at Grandma and then over to me. I still can’t feel anything. I think this has truly broken me.