Caged Between The Beta & Alpha
Chapter 48

RAVEN

I had just entered Taylor’s bedroom, the creams and browns of the décor and walls made the room look warm and welcoming. I saw him laying on his bed staring at the ceiling.

” Hey. We missed you at training. ” I said softly, walking over to his bed. He sat up slowly and I hugged him tightly. ” I’m not feeling up to training. ” He muttered, laying down again and grabbing a square cushion, hugging it to his chest as he sighed deeply. ” I know, but you can’t stay cooped up.

” I said, stroking his hand. Our eyes met, and the pain in his tugged at my heart.

” I’m sorry. ” I whispered. He gave me a pointed look. ” Really Raven, you need to stop with the self–blaming. I’m glad I know what a … j*rk Zack’s been. As for Anna, I don’t know what the hell to do.

” He gr0aned in frustration. So that was his dilemma, but right now I didn’t trust myself to give him any advice. ” I don’t even know what to do with my life, so I really can’t advise you. ” I said with a gloomy pout. ” ” Will you talk to Zack? ” ” Sooner or later. ” He muttered, turning on his side and hugging the cushion tightly.

” Good, life’s short. ” I murmured, thinking with each passing day, Liam’s time was running out. ” Yeah. I know I’ll forgive him sooner or later, he did that when he was a stupid eighteen–year–old, and we both know that crap happens.

” Taylor said. ” Tell me about it, I’ve been a dumb eighteen–year–old, ” I mumbled, tugging at the hem of my dress. ” But I’m glad you are going to work on it. ” Yeah … When I’m ready, right now …. I’m pissed. ” Taylor said, sounding adorably cute. those people who Taylor was just one couldn’t stay mad at anyone for long.

” And you should be. ” I said, giving him a small smile. ” What about you? What’s happening? I know people at the packhouse are being as*sh0les. ” Taylor said sympathetically. ” So, you’ve heard, huh? ” I said, making folds in my dress. Taylor reached over and gave my arm a squeeze. ” Hey … I’m here if you want to talk about it .

I don’t know why you aren’t telling people, but he’s your mate, isn’t he? ” I gave him a small smile. How do I tell him I didn’t know what to do? How the fact that I have two mates was hard? How do I explain that I didn’t know how to balance this when both my mates were so different, our relationships were so different?

I just felt like I was lost in the middle of a conflict with everyone giving me different advice. I felt guilty for favouring Liam. How I forgot Damon when I was with Liam. Yet when I was with Damon, I felt guilty towards Liam.

Then there was Damon telling me to make it work with Liam first, then Aunty Red saying to be equal or decide what I wanted. Not to mention Al’s ultimatum that this would not work and I would have to pick one.

I really wanted to go bang my head against a wall. ” I know you are …. I just don’t even know what I need to do. Anyway, I’m glad you’re ok. Do you want me to come over tonight?

We can binge-watch some comedy movies or whatever you want and get some takeout. ” I suggested. His face lit up with a beautiful smile and he nodded. ” I’d like that. ” ” Then it’s a date! ” I said, getting up. I hadn’t really told Taylor the full deal between Liam, Damon, and me but I think tonight I will. ” Anything new with your dad?

” Taylor asked, his smile vanishing. I looked at him and shook my head, wondering did people realised something happened after Damon took him away.

” No. I haven’t spoken to him. ” I murmured, looking at the picture of Cher on his wall. ” Yeah … Well, whenever you’re ready. ” He said sympathetically.

I nodded, thinking I was ready now. ” Well, I’m going to go face the music. ” I said, giving him a wave. He followed me out of his room and down the steps, I could see his mum was mixing something in the kitchen through the open archway. ” Bye Mama Dee! ” ” Bye, Raven!

” She called back. I smiled at Taylor before I walked across the garden and jumped over the fence. Taylor watched me, giving me a final thumbs–up before closing the door when I did the doorbell of my parents ‘ house. A place that used to fill me with dread when I had to return here at the end of a long day.

The door opened and Mom stood there; to my surprise, she looked a mess, her eyes were puffy and her hair had not been combed.

” So, you finally show your face? ” She said to me bitterly. I frowned, stepping inside and shutting the door behind me . ” After Dad kicked me out, did you expect me to just come back? ” I asked.

She shook her head, turning away and clutching the wall as if she had no energy. I sighed, tugging at the skirt of my dress again. ” Look, I haven’t come to argue. Where’s Dad? There’s a few things I need to talk about with both of you.

” I asked. I wanted to get this off my chest and then get out of here. ” You got your dad thrown into the cells! Are you mocking us by coming here and pretending you don’t know ?! ” She shouted, her eyes flashing yellow as she glared at me.

My heart skipped a beat as her words echoed in my head, cells? ” I … I didn’t know. That night-

” You have only ever hurt your dad, Raven.

I know you don’t mean to but look where you have got him! He never wanted you near Renji, yet you went and visited his grave! What did you expect? That he wouldn’t get angry? ” Mom cried, breaking into sobs.

My own heart clenched in pain. The urge to simply stay quiet was there, but no, not this time. I came here to give my input this time, and I am not going to stay quiet like normal. ” So, you’re saying I’m the reason Dad is i in the cells? Actually, Mom, I’m not. He’s there because he deserves to be there. I have done nothing to him.

All I ever wanted was for him to notice me, to be proud of me, and to love me, but he never did. ” I said, desperation seeping into my voice. Was I really the crazy one that was in the wrong? ” I can’t even mind link him!

They are probably injecting him with silver or wolfsbane! I feel his pain! You don’t know what he’s going through, above all losing Renji- “

” Hurt! I know! I didn’t even know he existed, and it hurts me too! I visited his grave because I wanted to know my brother! What did I do so wrong that dad hates me so much?

I am his daughter too! Is it just because I was too weak to give my brother a bone marrow match? ” I said, feeling defeated. ” You were never a daughter he could be proud of.

” She said, simply brushing away her tears. I looked into those blue eyes of hers, the very same shade as my blue one. ” I know, I’ve been told all my life that I am nothing but a failure. ” I said, looking around the hallway.

Something told me this was the last time I’d be visiting here. ” I wasn’t the child Dad wanted, well that’s his loss then. I have always tried my best to be the best I can be without losing my identity, but if it’s not enough, then I don’t care anymore.

” You don’t care? When have you ever cared Raven? ” Somehow, her words just didn’t hurt anymore. I was so used to her standing by and not caring that I didn’t expect anything from her.

” Goodbye Mom, I won’t be stopping by anymore … I didn’t know Dad was in the cells, but whatever reason the Alpha or Beta deemed sufficient, Dad must deserve it. I don’t really care and I don’t feel bad for admitting that. I’m done. ” I said casting one last look around my childhood house. ” Maybe we will be better off.

“ Mom whispered, hugging herself. ” They hurt him a lot … I felt it, I don’t know what they’ve done and I can’t mind link him either. I’m told I have to stay under house arrest until the Alpha questions me. ” I frowned, I felt a sliver of irritation, once again I wasn’t told about this. Why did everyone keep me in the goddess – d*mned dark?

” Yeah, I think we’ll all be better off. I’m done being stuck around parents who love to throw mental abuse in one form or another at me. ” I said bitterly. For the first time, I let my anger, pain, and sadness show in my voice.

I turned away, ready to open the door again when I paused. ” When I was a baby … you wanted the doctor to give me Renji’s eye … You must have loved me right? Before I became a useless disappointment to you both?

” My voice was soft, my eyes stuck on the door before me. Maybe just one kind word That at one point at least Mom cared …. ” Hmm, a long time ago … I wanted to see a part of Renji live on too … But things changed.

” Mom’s hesitant reply came. away and cry My l!ps quivered, the urge to just run threatened to consume me, but I didn’t move, keeping my heartbeat steady. ” Changed? ” ” I should never have given Renji’s eye to you.

Perhaps if we hadn’t, that constant reminder of his loss wouldn’t be here! Maybe things would have been different! ” I looked over my shoulder at her, trying to blink away the tears and nodded.

” Maybe … but it’s done. Goodbye … ” I said, not even knowing if I should even address her as mom.

She didn’t reply as I left the house, trying to hold that smile in place, although inside I felt as if everything was crumbling to pieces …