Caged Between The Beta & Alpha
Chapter 55

RAVEN

“You are going to feel guilty, but we both know staying in this situation is hurting you all.” He said softly. I could feel how bad he felt saying that, but it was the truth. “Putting aside everything… Let’s play a game. I ask a question and you pick which one you would choose. ” He added, slapping his thigh as the idea popped in his head.

Putting aside everything,.. The curse included.

Because that was what I used to make myself feel better every time I felt guilty for how I was treating Damon, but that was not an excuse.

“”Ok…” I said, playing with the tab on my can.

“Now picture them both standing right there…

Which one will you hug first?

I frowned as the answer came to me.

“Liam… because-

‘We’re not justifying why here… Block that all out and just think about your instant answers, I don’t want any breaks, you have got to answer fast, ok?

Whoever comes to mind first.!”

“Ok” I gr0aned.

“Both are hurt in a battle with rogues? Which one will you tend to first?”

“Liam.” I said, feeling another flash of guilt through me.

No matter the answer, I still felt guilty.

“If you did something that they told you not to who will you confess to first?”

“Damon.!”

Who do you want to f**k?”

“Li- hey!”

Taylor chuckled.

“Soo… You done it yet? Details… now!”

“Stop it! We haven’t!” I said, blushing as I remembered what happened earlier.

Oh, my dear goddess, that was naughty! Liam was naughty.. That side of him… My heart skipped a beat and I pushed it away.

“Ok, then which one do you want to cuddle up to in bed?!”

“Liam.”

“Cuddle with over a movie?”

“Both?” I pouted. “They both came to mind!”

‘So something you would do with a friend…” Taylor said. “Ok… Out of curiosity, which one have you k!ssed?!

“Both, but Damon only once.” I replied pouting.

“D*mn girl! Dare I ask how many times you’ve k!ssed Liam?” He teased.

I sighed.

“It’s because Damon said-“

“‘Stop justifying it, we are talking about your feelings here.” He said softly, giving my hand a squeeze before dipping his fries into the ketchup.

I nodded, thinking about Damon once more. Deep down, I knew who I favoured, but I hated myself for it. “There’s no guilt or shame in loving someone… It doesn’t make you bad to feel stronger for one over the other. Can you imagine being with Damon and rejecting Liam?”

Life without Liam…

My heart clenched painfully and my eyes stung. The fear of the curse and what if that becomes a reality..

His words from earlier echoed in my mind; ‘when you are mine…? I knew he could sense my hesitation …It hurt so damn much. I was an awful mate to both.

I placed my face in my hands as the tears came, no longer able to hold them back.

“D*mn, I’m sorry Raven!” Taylor’s panicked voice came.

I shook my head, but I was unable to stop. I knew what I had to do, but just thinking about it broke me.

I didn’t want to hurt him… I couldn’t hurt him… I sobbed loudly, clamping my hands over my mouth as I bent down, pressing my forehead to my knees as I tried to stop my tears.

Taylor’s arms wrapped around me and held me tight.

“‘sh!t, I’m sorry Raven… I’m damn sorry…”

‘Don’t be… You just made me realise I am doing more damage than good.’ I whispered through the link.

He stroked my back and I felt ridiculous crying like this, but I realised all my life I just stayed quiet because it was easier. We couldn’t do this anymore, I couldn’t do this anymore. I wanted all my firsts to be special, not constantly worrying about what the other might be thinking or the fact that I kept feeling guilty.

“I’m going to say this to myself as much as to you,” Taylor said, kissing the top of my head. “Life isn’t perfect or easy… The stories of soul mates and their eternal love are only sugar-coated versions of reality. Look at those power couples around us…

Alpha Elijah and Luna Scarlett’s, sure we know them as this amazing couple who love each other deeply and have the chemistry to die for… but they did not have it easy-even on their journeys, there were difficulties. We need to create our own love stories, overcome our differences, issues and hardships to make them perfect… but also remember that we need to get to that perfect part. To remember that the pain we’re feeling right now is part of that journey, a part we need to overcome.. “

I nodded as I tried to steady my breathing and calm down.

“I know… You’re right… I’m scared knowing I might hurt someone and knowing that I’m already hurting Damon, Liam… Myself..”

“I know, baby girl, but that’s life and you are one bada*ss queen who has got this.'”

I wish I could tell him I was just an ordinary wallflower, not a bada*ss queen… But he’s being sweet, so I won’t argue.

“I’m tired…tired of it all. ” I whispered.

“It’s OK to be.” He replied.

I pulled away slightly and looked at him with a tilt of my head.

“So… What about you?” I asked, wiping my tears away:

He looked down.

“I need to talk to Channing. He deserves to know… but I have been delaying it.” He said, his eyes pained.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“Don’t be, I’ll figure it out.” He comforted me.

I nodded and took a deep breath.

“Ok, we are going to do what we need to do.” I said with renewed determination, feeling a lot better after crying and talking to him.

He gave me a small smile and nodded.

“Yeah… We will.”

We had cleared up the takeaway boxes and had settled down, nibbling at the cotton candy when Liam’s voice came through the link, making my cheeks burn at the memory of earlier.

‘Raven?

Yeah?’ I asked, my heart thumping.

Your father’s trial is this coming Monday. Are you ok with testifying openly or privately…?”

My heart skipped a beat, so he was actually listening to Uncle El. I felt so happy about that. I smiled softly.

“I can do it openly. ” I said, my heart thumping, but I needed to be brave.

I knew the pack were probably already talking about me behind my back with the entire two-mate situation, but I would not let it put me down. If Liam was willing to do this by trial, something he didn’t want to do, then I would also testify.

I’m willing to do so at the trial.’ I said softly.

Perfect… So, uh… What are you up to? He asked, I smiled at the awkwardness in his tone.

“Thinking about you and playing with myself?? I said as seriously as possible. His pause of silence made me unable to hold back my laughter. Haha did I make you blush?

I don’t blush.’ Came his reply, but I could tell he was pouting. ‘But I know how to make you blush.’

‘oh, don’t play that with me, blue eyes.’ I said, glad he wasn’t here in person. ‘I’m at Taylor’s! You are disturbing me!

‘Cool, enjoy, but one last thing… I didn’t expect you to have a Brazilian wax. It’s really sexy.. I like it.

Scratch that, I f*****g love it and it’s a d*mn turn on.

My eyes flew open, my cheeks burning at his words and I wasn’t able to reply.

His chuckle came through the link. Have fun.’ Came his triumphant farewell, leaving me red-faced and completely speechless!