Caged Between The Beta & Alpha
Chapter 69

RAVEN

The following day, I had left the cottage early after showering and headed to training feeling restless and nervous. My heart was breaking and although I knew this was a decision I had decided on, it still hurt.

I would talk to Damon no matter what, right after, I couldn’t keep delaying it.

After training and once I had showered, I quickly grabbed an oversized hoodie that fell to my th!ghs and some over-the-knee boots. I left the packhouse, my hair still wet from the shower, heading straight to Damon’s like a woman on a mission.

Not today. Not today, nothing was going to stop me.

I rang the doorbell, letting out a breath I didn’t know I was even holding when I finally reached Damon’s home.

Damon? I’m outside.’ I said through the link softly.

My heart cracking a little more.

This must be important, huh.’ His deep, s*xy voice came.

Hmm.’ I replied, feeling awful and waiting for him to open up, he did a few moments later.

He had a shirt on, but the buttons were undone, showing off his perfect body. My stomach fluttered and the pain in my ch3st reminded me of our connection.

“Hey.” I said softly.

“Hey, gorgeous.” He said pulling me into his arms, I closed my eyes, hugging him tightly. His beating heart was like a soothing melody compared to the thundering of mine…

This decision I had made… Was there really no other way? I knew the answer to that…

“Hey… What’s wrong? Are you ok?” His soft voice brought me out of my reverie, my heart beating like a drum as I slowly moved back and nodded, forcing a smile.

I was the selfish one here, wanting them both… but I knew who I was prioritising and what needed to be done was for the both of us…

‘Yeah, kinda… Can we talk?” I asked softly.

“Sure.” He said. “‘Shall we go for a walk?”

“Ok.” I said, thinking we could go towards the woods, somewhere alone…

Maybe being inside would just make it even more suffocating.

He stepped out and locked up behind himself, shoving the keys into his pocket. He gave me a small s*xy smile and began to button up his shirt, hiding those perfect abs from the world.

We stayed silent and he let me lead as we walked along. With every step I took, I felt as if my feet were dragging… Goddess… please… give me strength…

I slowed down when we were in a deserted area of the woods, the rustle of the leaves like a whisper of disapproval at what I was about to do here… Walking down towards the river, I stopped looking around.

We were a good way away from the Alpha’s home.

I sat down, motioning for him to sit opposite me. He sat down, his soft blue eyes meeting mine and my heart clenched painfully. Why did I feel like he knew this was bad news…?

‘It’s ok Raven, you can tell me whatever you need to. You know that.” He said softly, taking hold of my hands, those sparks of pleasure wrapping me in warmth and k!ssing my knuckles softly.

I closed my eyes, before opening my eyes and staring down at our hands. He was special too…

“I haven’t been fair.” I said softly, my eyes stinging already. No matter how hard I tried to keep the tears at bay I knew I wouldn’t be able to, not today.

He frowned slightly, concern clear in his eyes, yet he waited for me to speak.

The sound of the river and the birds chirping in the trees were the only sounds around us, yet even then, our voices simply blended into our surroundings, promising me that my words would remain a secret.. or were they pleading for me to not do this?

“Raven… It’s okay… Look, whatever it is, it’s going to be ok.”

I blinked coming out of my thoughts.

“I need to say this… Please let me speak. Don’t tell me it’s ok, none of this is ok. ” I said, taking a deep breath. I l!cked my l!ps, biting down on my lower one.

Where do I start? How do you tell someone you are about to break their heart? Especially when they don’t deserve it…

“I’m sorry you got a shitty mate like me.” I whispered, my eyes stinging as I stared at his necklace, unable to look into his eyes. “I’m sorry that I treat you the way I do.. That I haven’t even treated you as mine… I’m sorry that I’m not the mate I should have been… I don’t even get why the goddess paired someone like me with two mates, when I have done nothing to treat you equally.. I’m so f*****g sorry, but it’s not enough.. Goddess, it’s not enough…” My throat felt constricted, I couldn’t breathe properly.

“Gorgeous…Don’t ever blame yourself, I haven’t really stepped up either… but it’s ok… Maybe Liam-“

I shook my head.

“Liam won’t change his mind-set.. he won’t and we both know that.” I whispered quietly, trying to fight back the storm that was threatening to break its dam. “If he doesn’t agree, what will you do? Will you fight for someone who hasn’t even been fair? Would you fight Liam?”

The sadness in his eyes tugged painfully at my ch3st.

I knew the answer, no. Not because he didn’t care enough, not because Liam was his Alpha, but because Damon had a heart of gold and all he knew was giving, not taking… and that was what I was doing once again. Hurting him. His next words confirmed that…

“I’m so f*****g sorry… I can’t go against him.. It’s not just that he’s my Alpha… He… He always put you as number one Raven. When we were kids.. he always looked out for you, always talked about you.. always wanted you… I’m the one who was too busy looking elsewhere… ” His voice held so much pain that he was trying to hide, but he was failing… failing so badly.

“Or perhaps you subconsciously told yourself I was off-limits because of Liam’s love for me?” I asked softly.

He looked at me, and shook his head.

We didn’t know.. We never would know because we had already walked our chosen paths…

“No…If it comes down to one of us, he is the one that deserves you.'” He said softly, k!ssing my hands once again. “With this curse, pushing Liam would have been f*****g catastrophic. I am not going to ever risk that. “

I nodded, if Damon or I tried to pursue anything, it would have caused Liam to go off the edge into the darkness. Love, bonds, and our situation weren’t as easy as one might think… And regardless, I couldn’t use the curse as an excuse. I clearly favoured Liam so I couldn’t hold Damon back any longer either.

The m0on goddess gave some werewolves second chance mates… I prayed to Selene with everything I had inside to give Damon someone better… Someone who would treat him like a king…

A thought at the back of my head clawed its way to the forefront of my mind, telling me that what if Liam died? Would I break the bond with my surviving mate?

But I knew the answer to that. Yes, because if that happened, I deserved to be alone. Damon was no ones back up, he deserved the best.

“Rejection… That’s what you’re implying.” Damon said, smiling slightly.

Breaking the final grasp on my tears.

“I won’t say this for the sake of it, but because it’s the truth. You deserve someone who treats you as the one and only king in her life. You deserve someone who doesn’t favour another above you. For someone with two mates, I should be equal, but even if it’s the circumstances or my own fault, I haven’t treated you right.. I can’t string you along Damon, it’s hurting me too.” I sobbed, staring into his eyes.

I needed this, for me, for him, for Liam… No one was happy like this… But in the end, it was Damon who would get hurt the most by the rejection, but he was hurting like this too…

“I’m so f*****g sorry… I’m sorry…

He let go of my hands, his heart pounding. I could sense his sadness too as he cupped my face, brushing away my tears. I gripped his wrists, the pain in my ch3st unbearable. It hurt, so so f*****g much.

The same thought came to my mind too… that perhaps our parting is the right thing to do, even if it isn’t the best thing… We can’t let Liam turn to the darkness completely, and I can’t go against him.”

He said softly, brushing away more of my tears.

My l!ps quivered and I looked into the shimmering eyes of his wolf.

“I love you, Raven, and even if we cannot be together as mates… Will you promise me that you will always be my friend?” He asked, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

My vision became blurred with the tears that were spilling down my cheeks.

Yes, that was a promise I’ll always keep. Even if Liam didn’t agree, I would always be there for Damon as a friend because he had lost so much in life. I know it would never be enough… I wasn’t doing him justice, and I’d carry that guilt with me for the rest of my life…

You don’t need to ask me that… Damon, you are always going to be someone special to me. I love you too. I want you to know that…”

I also wish I could tell you that I did have a connection to you too… Before the mating ball, I had feelings for you both… Liam was my first love… But I loved you too… But what’s the point in saying all that when all I’m doing is hurting you…

I broke into wracking sobs, letting go of his wrists to clamp my hands over my mouth.

It hurt. I couldn’t breathe. My chest… My heart, breathe… breathe..

His arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his ch3st. He stroked my hair, not caring that I was soaking his shirt with my tears. He rubbed my back as I took deep breathes, but for some reason, I was lacking oxygen.

“I love you too.. You’re a pure soul, Raven..” He whispered, his voice thick, and I dared to look up to see his own eyes glinting with tears.

I gasped, sobbing painfully.

“It won’t be goodbye…”

His soothing words and gentle care*ss, why was he so selfless? Did he agree because he wanted to? Or was it because he didn’t want to make my decision harder for me?

This is for someone we both love.” He added quietly, k!ssing the top of my head.

I nodded, for someone we both love…