Call me Alpha
Chapter 17: Realization

"Ash? What's wrong?" Seth turned to me when he noticed that I made a full stop. My knees beganshaking and I can feel my stomach turning as anxiety eats my half.

My breathing heavied and I can hear my heartbeat right in my ears. Drumming fast and loud. Mywolf whines and prays that I shouldn't go inside, she’s afraid to lose her mate tonight.

'Are you okay? Why are you scared?’

I jumped when I heard Aiden on my mind. I guess he's still in the office and the wolf-proof roomdidn't stop the mate's bond from flowing my emotions to him.

I embraced myself and started calming down. I should block my feelings to stop it from goingthrough him. Once I succeeded, I responded to him.

'I'm fine. I almost tripped, that's all."

I lied. The second time. It's necessary at the moment to lie to him or else he'll bust out of that roomand might witness what is about to happen. I can't deny my responsibility for the pack, this is thefirst time that Aiden let me do something for his pack and I can't mess it up.

"What?" Seth looked at me while frowning. "You didn't trip. Why's Aiden nagging at me?" Sethexclaimed, Aiden had reached him, too.

I closed the gap between us and held his hand. I looked him straight into his eyes.

"Remember when you said your loyalty stands with me?" I said, ignoring his previous question."Yeah? What's wrong?"

"I don't know yet but if something happens, I expect you to be true to your words and keepanything just between us two."

Seth frowned, confused from what's happening but nodded at last that made me sigh.

"I'll keep my word." he said and I let go of his arms.

"Let's go." I said and walked passed him, Seth following me right after.

We started walking again and every step I did make my heart go insane. I focused on controlling itsemotions, making sure that nothing will be felt by Aiden.

Seth opened the front door for me and I smelt something different. A scent that can make me feelsad or in sorrow. I figured this is the scent of a male wolf that had lost its mate.

Titus.

I made sure to take down notes of what I'm discovering which was connected with my abnormality.Right now, first, I can distinguish a mateless wolf and that's an advantage. Second, I can only smellthem when I'm a few meters away. This can be a disadvantage because I will have a short time torun away IF they can smell me the same.

We reached the living room and we saw Titus with his head down in his hands. He is not crying fromhis loss but he is mourning inside.

I stopped with a given distance, waiting for him to smell my abnormality but he just stayed his headdown. I frowned. Can't he smell me?

"Titus. Our Luna wants to sympathize with your loss.”

I looked at Seth and then back to Titus who slowly looked up at us.

He's not too old but older than me. Probably in his early thirties.

He looked at Seth first and then to me. His eyes enlarged as his gaze placed on me. I swallow hardand realize he probably felt something. He can't smell me then but he must know what I am oncehe saw me. That expression tells me he does.

He slowly stood up and walked closer to me. I gulped as I gave Seth a nervous look before lookingback to Titus.

In an instant, he is now in front of me. He used his inhuman speed to come closer to me and horrorstarts building within me.

"Hey!" it was Seth's fast reaction that stopped him just feet away. Seth's hand was on Titus’ chestand trying to stop him from getting any closer than he is now. His voice raised but not a yell."What's wrong with you?" he asked Titus while the latter never took his eyes off me. He almostlooked crazy with disbelief in his eyes.

I tried calming myself, making sure I'm blocking my fear away from Aiden.

"She's Alpha Aiden’s mate and our pack's Luna. You! Should show your respects.” Seth growledemphasizing the last sentences.

Titus glanced at Seth before shaking his head and inhaled hastily. He looked at me again and thistime his eyes softened. I didn't let my guard down. Ready to fight back if needed.

"I'm sorry... Luna." he bowed his head slightly but never took his gaze from mine. He reached for myhand, probably going to kiss the back of my hand for respect but when he held it, he startedtrembling. "This is incredible. I can feel Sharma just from touching you." he smirked but with sorrowevident in his eyes. He let go of my hand when Seth snatched it away from him.

"What the hell-" Seth was about to throw at him but Titus cut him off. I can no longer feel my ownfeet. I put my hand on Seth's shoulder for support because my knees might give up any moment."You don't know?" Titus said as he looked at Seth. My breath is hitching and I can only hear myheartbeat loud with their voices as background noise. "Of course you wouldn't." He smirked at himbefore turning to face me again.

"Know what?" Seth snapped and snarled at him. "Stay where you are." He warned when Titus triedto take a step closer.

I looked at Titus with fear evident in my eyes. He's gonna say it and Seth will know. I repeated thatover and over again in my head to expect what will happen next. I started preparing myself for thepossible outcome.

"Our Luna is a stealer.” He said with gritted teeth.

Seth moved away from me a bit just to see my face. I stood there frozen while two pairs of eyesexamined my reaction. I can feel the side of my eyes burning from threatening tears.

I can't see what exactly Seth was thinking. His face didn't look at me with dismay nor disgust justcuriosity and disbelief. Titus on the other hand has a smirk on his face while his eyes are soft andgentle just like how Aiden looks at me. His gaze is just like how one wolf will look at its mate.

I am blocking my emotions from Aiden. I already know that things like this will happen but I didn'tthink through many ways to handle the situation.

I tried collecting myself and inhaled slowly. I'm still their Luna and my being a stealer doesn'tchange that fact. I'm Aiden's mate and I'm not tricking anyone. Not stealing him. He is mine and Iam his. I don't have any evidence for that but I knew I should at least try to prove it.

"Why don't we have a sit first?" I said in a calm, almost trembling voice. Seth still watched me withthe same face while Titus smiled a little before facing his back at us to walk and take a seat.

Once Titus is seated, I looked at Seth again and gave him a weak smile.

'Keep your words and trust me." I said and he snapped out of his shock before nodding slowly andgiving way for me to have a sit.

The farthest chair from Titus is where I sat. Seth taking the one next to mine. We're both looking atTitus and I noticed that his hand that touched mine is trembling a little.

'Is what he said true?" It was Seth. I looked at him and nodded. He sighed before shaking his headslowly and fixed his eyes on Titus.

'You're already giving me a test of loyalty with this." he said again

I ignored him and exhaled carefully.

"I meant no harm here." I started, fixating my eyes on Titus. "You are right but I'm not doinganything wrong.”

I wanted to assure them but I don’t know how. I got no reaction from them both so I just sighed.Not sure what to say next.

"You're a stealer. Your kind was forgotten by most but this pack will never forget. Are you even ourtrue Luna?"

"Watch it, Titus." Seth growled and I'm amused by how protective he still is with me without anounce of doubt.

"It's okay," I said to Seth and turned to Titus. "I understand your feelings but I didn't come here withharm in mind. I'm Aiden's mate and my wolf's abnormality has nothing to do with it. The only thing Iwanted is for you to not try and steal me from my mate.”

Titus chuckled lightly, amused by my words. My jaw tightened as I felt irritated from his response."I loved Sharma and I won't settle with a replica of emotions flowing from you. You do feel like her,you do give me chill as she does but no, you are not her and I won't be tricked.”

"I'm not tricking anybody." I snarled through gritted teeth. I hate to be judged and right now I'mhaving a piece of it.

"We can't be sure of that. What will Alpha Aiden do to you once he found out? You don't think he'llbelieve your words, right?"

My wolf growled at him and that came out of my lips. He chuckled again.

"Respect your Luna!" Seth said, taking my side.

"I am not tricking Aiden."

"Then let's tell him."

I didn't have the words to respond to that. Am I ready? But I feel I am not. I'm far from readybecause a part of me knew that Aiden will be furious. And I don't know what will happen to meonce he knew what I am.

It gave me chills just to think of the worst-case scenario.

"See my point? Well, I'm not in the mood to wreck my Alpha's world. Males like me who lost theirmates were out there to replace you. Some rogues even look for a stealer like you to feel alive again.But for me, I can keep to myself what I found out tonight.”

I looked at Seth when he catches my gaze.

'Is it that bad for Aiden to know?" he asked. "You don't need to owe anyone.’

'I'm not sure yet."

"I'll give you my word if you'll give the favor back, Luna.”

"My Luna won't do whatever your filthy mouth says." Seth snarled at him. I placed my hand on hisarm without breaking eye contact with Titus.

"She is your Luna but not mine. At least not yet. I'm not sure if she is."

His words pricked my heart and I can feel the bitterness from it. One of my mate's wolf just rejectedme as their Luna. Another of my fears just came true.

"What do you want?" I decided to finish this once and for all.

"I won't say a word to my Alpha about this. I'll even offer you more knowledge about stealers ifyou'll agree to my terms.”

My heart is thumping and beating loud in my chest. Am I doing the right thing? I had the urge tojust say what I am to Aiden. My wolf even assures me that he will understand. That his wolf and sheloves each other truly. But in the end, I didn't listen. I decided to hear what Titus wanted.

"What do you want in return?” I said in almost a whisper. Seth hissed on my side as he leanedagainst the chair. He's not happy with the turnouts.

"Convince Alpha Aiden to let me keep my position as the guard's head.”

Seth hissed hastily again and gawked at Titus

"You greedy dog!" Seth growled at Titus before snapping his head to me. "He is just using you!Don't listen to him and his selfishness! We're telling Aiden about your case and he'll understand.”"You're not sure he will, right?" Titus said to me, not giving any attention to Seth at all. "Hear meout. I'm not doing this out of greed. I lost my mate and losing my position would just give me freetime to mourn over her. I'm not interested in stealing you from my Alpha, I'm not crazy to do that.All I wanted is to keep my place, even just for a few months. To get busy. I... I can't live withoutSharma while having nothing to do at all.”

I watched his face and his voice is sincere.

“Don't believe him!" Seth said.

'We can't tell Aiden that I'm a stealer. I have no choice.’ I replied.

He frowned at me and snorted. 'At least give it some thought. Let's talk this through first."

What he suggests is reasonable. That is better than making rapid decisions.

"Let me think it through.” I said. Seth shifted on his seat, not comfortable with the situation. I am,too but I tried to calm my mind at least.

"For how long? In two days, I'll be out of the council. I don't have the time.” He said calmly.

I examined his reaction, no sign of deception can be traced in his face. I am hesitating but whatmore can I do? Any minute now, Aiden and Nick might be finished with their meeting. If I don't haveenough time to think, Titus doesn't have enough time to wait, too.

"I'll try to talk it out with Aiden tonight. You'll have the news tomorrow."

"Tomorrow is your introduction ceremony, Luna." Seth raised her brows as he reminded me oftomorrow's event.

Damn. I forgot.

'You can't fight with Aiden tonight. He will be furious if you proposed to consider this dog." I canhear Seth hissing as he mind linked me. I gaped at him, trying to think this through. He is rightthough I can't see any ways to do.

If 1 won't help Titus with his proposition, then he'll tell Aiden about my abnormality. The worsemight come for me so either way, Aiden and I will still end up fighting later.

I am just choosing the easiest way which-at the moment-is agreeing with Titus. I ignored Seth andlooked at Titus who's waiting for my reply.

"I'll give you news tomorrow. But what if I can't convince Aiden?"

"Then I'm sorry but I needed to tell him what I found out tonight.”

A cold shiver runs down my spine with his words. I suddenly felt pressured in convincing Aiden if Iwanted to survive the day.

The chance to respond to him was impossible now because Aiden just walked out of a door whichwas Titus's office.

“Keep your word." I said to Seth as I looked at Aiden's glinting eyes though his face was kept seriousand strict.

'We need to talk about this later.’ He replied and I heard him sigh.

I turned to Titus and stood up, ready to go. "I'm so sorry for your loss.” I said and gave him a fakeshort smile. I looked at Seth, sending him a message that we both need to head out first. He stoodup and looked at Titus then to Aiden.

"We'll be outside." I said to Aiden before he could even come near me. He frowned but noddedanyway.

Once outside the house, Seth and I almost run back to the car. I slide up to the backseat while hesat back to where he was seated, beside the driver's seat.

"What the hell? Are you a stealer?!" he exclaimed as soon as the car's door was closed. His voice islow but with emphasis.

"Yes, yes, I am. God! What should I do!?" I put my hands on my head and closed my eyes.

"How can I be sure you are not..." He didn't continue his phrase but I already knew what he meant."Of course not. I just found out about my abnormality when I undergo the mapping. Aiden is theone who found me, too. Not the other way around. I'm not tricking him or trying to steal him. I'mhis true mate.” I scowled at the last words. Getting irritated by explaining myself when I never didanything wrong

"Fine! But why didn't you tell him? He should be the first to know.”

"I found out about his past. What do you expect? The war started because some stealer decided totrick his uncle Zeuracious. I feared he would think the same.”

Seth silenced for a while. He seems to be thinking about it.

"Okay. But what are you? I mean, you really can steal mates?"

"I don't know more about my case aside from the fact that yes, I can make a wolf believe I'm theirmate but I would never do that. I don't even know how to do that."

"I never doubted you. I just wanna be sure.”

"That's the same as doubting.” I rolled my eyes and huffed, resting my back on the seat.

"Well, I don't doubt you now," he said and gave me a half-smile. "So your, uh, abnormality can onlybe sensed by who? By wolves who lost their mates?" I can see the curiosity in his reaction. This feltnew to talk about being a stealer and to think that I'm having this conversation with Seth somehowraise threat in me.

"Only the male wolves. Wait, you won't say a word to Aiden about this!"

"Why are you even hiding it? It would be better if he knew. He might have a solution.”

I already think of that but my anxiety is killing me. What if the opposite will happen? I don't knowwhat to do if he'll reject me again. I already felt how it was like and that's equaled to dying.

"I can't.” I simply utter.

Seth sighed and looked away. "I can tell him on your behalf if you want.” he suggested.

"No!"

'Are you okay? Why are you yelling? I've been trying to reach you." Aiden's growl is loud and Ifigured he used his power to break into the wall I've been building and also heard my voice.

I jumped when Aiden spoke to my mind. I closed my eyes shut when I forgot to wall down when Itried blocking Aiden.

"Fine. Have it your way then. But I still think it is better to tell him." Seth said and exhaled hastily,unhappy with my decisions. I sighed too. I'll think this through, I promised to myself.

“Everything's good. Are you done?’ I answered to Aiden first, avoiding to create suspicion on his partif I won't respond to him.

'Will be there in a bit."

"You have my loyalty, Ash. But I hope you won't drown yourself in danger with your decisions.” Sethsaid, ending the conversation. I can feel that he liked to talk more but our time was out when Aidenand Nick moved out of Titus's room.

"I hope so, too."

Aiden and Nick came back and we started hitting the road again. Headed to the ancestral.

Aiden's hands were on my shoulders as I leaned my back to his chest. Our position can make mefeel another wave of heat but my mind is clouded with so many thoughts that I can't be aroused."Are you okay? You've been quiet." Aiden whispered and I saw Seth shifted uncomfortably on hisseat. I rolled my eyes with his obviously uneased reaction.

"Yeah. I'm just...exhausted, I guess.”

Silence is all over the car as we reached our destination. I gave Seth one last knowing look beforeAiden guided me inside the house.

Seth and Nick will stay the night. They are talking about the introduction ceremony tomorrow butmy mind is not with the conversation.

"Don’t you need to be with your mate?" Aiden asked Seth when all of us are ready to sleep.

Seth glanced at me before looking at Aiden. "I'll stay the night.” he said.

Nick tugged on Seth's neck with a sheepish grin on his face. "You dog! Don't tell me you alreadycompleted the mating process!" he teased.

Seth tried shrugging him off as they started to spar. Aiden just laughed and he snaked his armsaround me.

"Let's call it a day. Take any room you want.” Aiden said. I felt his hand giving me a slight pushtowards the stairs and we walked to his room.

Once inside, I watched Aiden as he changed his shirt with something comfortable.

I was standing by the door and he noticed that I was zoning out.

"Is something wrong?" he asked. I blinked twice before biting my lower lip, trying to hide thenervousness that started eating me.

I should have this conversation with him. I gave it a quick thought of what to talk with him about.Should I admit to him that I'm a stealer? Or should I just convince him to give Titus another chance?I didn't notice that he had walked near me until I felt his hand on my cheek.

"Hey. Talk to me.”

I looked at his eyes and it breaks my heart to think that I might anger him tonight. I hesitated togive him the talk but I have no choice. I needed to choose or else someone will.

"I... was thinking that perhaps you should give Titus case a second thought..." my voice croaked atthe last sentence when I saw his forehead formed a knot.

His hand dropped to his side and he looked at me with a question.

"A second thought?"

I closed my eyes when I felt intimidated as his voice changed.

I nodded slowly and met his gaze once again. "Maybe you could give him an extension.”

He inhaled loudly and turned his back on me.

"I won't. Where is this coming from?" a low growl escaped his lips and I almost jumped.

I hate to do this. I'm even scared of talking to him about any of this but I also feared telling himwhat I am.

"Did he asked you to talk me through?" he asked again when a long pause came from me.

I shook my head even if he can't see me. He is now looking outside the window, up to the beautifulmoon outside.

"He didn't. I just heard what happened with his..mate.” I cleared my throat. "I just thought heneeded to be busy and taking him off the council is a be idea.”

He snapped his head and looked at me. I can see his eyes changed to a darker shade of golden-brown, almost turning black.

"Are you telling me that I made the wrong decision?" he smirked as disbelief crossed his face.

I quickly shook my head fats."No, of course not I just thought-"

"I don't care what you thought!" he growled as he walked near me. I feel myself shrinking when hisheight mounted over me. I can no longer meet his eyes as tears threatened to roll out my eyes.

"I already gave my word. No one can interfere with my decisions. Not. Even. You."

He growled loudly this time that I shut my eyes tightly, feeling the tension from his overwhelmingpower. He is using his Alpha to me and it's giving me no choice but to submit. His words cut deepinto my chest, to my heart. I felt worthless and without a voice by his words.

If I'm the Luna of this pack then what is my worth here?

If I can't convince him then I'd rather tell him the truth. He'll hear it from Titus anyway, right?

I fought the trembles from him and stopped my knees from shaking. I tried calling my wolf to giveme strength and resist to our Alpha.

I looked him straight in his eyes and he snarled at my behavior. He didn't like my rebellious sidebefore, and he didn't like it now.

"Are you sure you won't change your mind?" my voice came out low and soft, far from what Iexpected it will sound.

Aiden growled and grabbed both of my arms, pushing me until my back was pressed to the wall.He leaned closer until his mouth was near my ears, sniffing my scent.

"I'm not changing my mind for you. I'm the Alpha and you can't mess with my rule.”

I immediately found where his anger is coming from. It is a bad idea to meddle with his judgment."I'm sorry. I forgot you despised your mother and will never let me in your life just to avoid beinglike your father.” My voice is sharp, I can feel the bitterness of it in the tip of my tongue.

His grip tightened and I suppressed myself from flinching with the pain it caused. I tried steadyingmy breathing, trying to seem strong but deep inside, I am shaking.

"How dare you!" he looked at me like he is ready to lose control. His body is trembling and I canonly imagine the anger he was trying to suppress.

"Keep your words. I will never intervene with your rules but don't you ever ask for me when it comesto your pack.” My voice spat to him like I was disgusted but, to be honest, I'm dismayed. I neverthought I'll be voiceless when it comes to his decision and he just slapped it straight to my face."You just proved to me that I will have no voice when it comes to your pack. I just wished you didn'tlet me be a part of it."

His gripped loosened as he was caught off guard with my words. I immediately freed myself andwalked out of his room then headed for the previous room I had.

I got offended by what he said and not saying this stuff because he didn't let me have what Iwanted in the first place.

Suddenly, I forgot my agreement with Titus and ready to break off with it. I no longer feel anxiouswith Aiden knowing that I am a stealer but just furious about what he has said.

He indirectly told me of my role in his pack. That I'll only do what he wants. But that is not what Iwas made of.

I'm ready to be exposed. Pain is better to be placed first than suffer last. I don't care if Titus will ratme out tomorrow or the day after. The only thing which is important right now is what I just realizedby Aiden's words.

That it doesn't matter what I am, he still can't accept me whole because of his past.