Calliope [Book 2]
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Mido warned the kingdom of the events that happened at Re’iam. He explained to them that the banished witches from long ago had found an escape and were loose in the world. He demanded that the gates remain locked and that no one was to enter or leave without his permission. He informed them of Queen Ryenna’s power and told them that there would be good witches to help in the war, and that they should not be afraid of them. The people of Asmar were naturally scared, but their trust and loyalty to Mido stayed true. They believed they were safe as their ruler, for he had not steered them wrong yet.

Barric was gone the next night. Colin had carried out Mido’s orders dutifully and, despite Barric’s loyalty to Asmar, Mido did not receive a lot of backlash for his actions. Barric did not put up a fight; Mido supposed he suspected it. Regardless, he did not trust that man in his kingdom, or anywhere where he could interfere with Calliope’s well being.

Mido spent the next few days pacing the castle periodically. He made his way to the barracks and watched as Ian prepared the army. He wished he could be among them, his sword in hand once more, instead of collecting dust in his chambers. He looked out over the sea constantly, as if waiting for some sign. Every day he tried to convince himself that Calliope would show up, but every day remained uneventful. No Calliope. No witch attacks. Nothing.

He leaned against the castle’s balcony as the sun began to rise on the eighth day. Nothing had happened, and he grew more and more anxious with uncertainty. Soft footsteps echoed off the castle’s stone walls from the hallway. Mido did not turn when the footsteps stopped behind him, or when the young man cleared his throat.

“Guess it wasn’t a suicide mission after all,” the voice said.

Mido turned his gaze to the sky, his lips twisted to the side. After a moment, he spoke. “I had every intent on returning, despite what you think.”

“You don’t care what I think,” Jon said.

Mido turned to face Jon. He crossed his legs as he leaned against his arms on the railing.

“I know I’ve made some… questionable choices in life. But that’s not your place to judge.” Mido shrugged. “You’re right; I don’t care what you think. In case you haven’t noticed, I have worse shit to figure out right now.”

Jon shifted his gaze to the balcony floor.

Mido continued. “But I would never do anything to hurt you, or Ian, or Maria, or even King Sloan. Choices need to be made in life. Sometimes they don’t make sense. Would have been a lot easier if I just killed Calliope when I saw her.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Jon said.

“Me too, sometimes.”

Jon looked up, meeting his gaze, and Mido smiled assuringly.

“Sometimes sacrifice comes with choices,” Mido continued. “I try to pick the best option. Do you really think I’m selfish enough to abandon you guys?”

Jon shrugged. “If you asked me three years ago, I would have thought differently.”

“Ouch.”

“C’mon, Mido, you were kind of an ass.”

Mido smiled. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“I don’t blame you for that, though. I guess I kind of was, too, after William died.”

“Life is pretty shitty like that.” Mido paused. “But you’re not alone, you know. I may seem like a shitty friend, but I’m trying.”

Jon shrugged. “I’ve had worse.” He smiled crookedly. “I’m just glad you’re back and that you found Calliope.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry for what I said in Re’iam.”

Mido nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”

“I was being stupid. I’m not like you. I don’t think I could be a soldier. I wanted to come and help and prove myself. I have nightmares every night. I don’t want to fight. I’m a coward.”

“Like me? You don’t think I’m a coward?”

“Just an idiot.”

Mido pushed himself off the railing and let his hand run through his hair. He sighed and pushed passed Jon, wandering aimlessly through the castle halls. Jon trotted to his side and waited for him to speak.

“I have nightmares, too,” Mido finally said. He let his eyes examine every banner that draped the stone walls.

“About what?” Jon asked. Their footsteps echoed off the stone walls for a moment.

“About everything. About William. About you. About war. About Calliope. I watch everyone die and there’s nothing I can do to save them.” Mido stopped and turned to Jon. “You wanna talk about cowards? I ran away from my own kingdom when they needed me.”

Jon shook his head. “Calliope needed you.”

“I was being selfish.”

“A coward would have killed a witch at first sight. A coward wouldn’t have risked his life for her. A coward wouldn’t have joined a hopeless war.”

“But a coward would have willingly gone on a suicide mission.”

“You said you had intended to come back.”

Mido began walking again, leaving Jon behind for a moment. “I did. But at the same time, I wanted to die there.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to come back without Calliope. I didn’t want to come back to Asmar. I didn’t want to be their king or deal with this war. I didn’t want to do any of it anymore. I wanted to die and be done with it all. And I almost did. And it felt like a relief. It was selfish.”

Jon said nothing as he mulled over Mido’s words until Mido spoke again.

“I’m only human,” he said softly. “Being cowardly is a part of being human. It’s hard to be brave. It’s exhausting and unnatural to want to face danger head on. I can only pretend to be brave. And I only pretend for those I care about.” He shrugged. “I thought I couldn’t care less about the people in this kingdom. Despite it all, I never let them see that I was scared shitless.”

Mido turned to Jon once more. They stood quiet and alone in the empty hallway for a moment before Mido spoke.

“You don’t have to be a soldier. You don’t have to prove yourself to me, or to anyone. I certainly wouldn’t think of you as a coward. I’d envy you.”

“I want to help,” Jon said. “I don’t know how, or what I could do, but I want to. I at least owe it to William. You know, avenge him, or some shit.”

Mido smiled. “You just stay out of the way for now. You’ve done nothing but yell at me and stress me out.”

“Someone’s gotta do it, once in awhile. You know, to remind you that you’re just an asshole.”

“Trust me, Ian takes care of that.”

Movement caught Mido’s attention and he saw Maria peering from around the corner.

“If you want to be helpful,” he said, turning back to Jon, “go make sure Ian isn’t slacking off in the barracks.”

Maria came out from around the corner and smiled at Jon. Jon nodded to Mido and, without a word, he made his way down the stairs towards the barracks.

“Yer not that much of an asshole now,” Maria said.

“Are you spying on me?”

Maria smiled. “Jest makin’ sure ya not puttin’ any ideas inta ’is ’ead.”

“Why would I ever do that?”

“Aren’t you the reason they got involved in the first place?”

Mido sighed. “I know. Everything is my fault.”

Maria shrugged. “Jest some of it.”

Mido was quiet as he turned his gaze out the window, his mind back on Calliope and the escaped witches. His anxiety returned to him, and he found himself missing the carefree life he lead in Esmon. He was only human.

“Jon needed ta ‘ear that,” Maria said, bringing Mido out of his mind. “An’ ye did, too.”

“Can we skip the lectures today?”

Maria smiled. “No lectchas. Ya jest need ta be reminded that ye ain’t the bad guy.”

Mido hesitated. “Let’s just hope I can get us all out of this mess.”