Can't Help Falling For You
Over Indulgence

Blainewas sitting, a tub of almost emptied Belgium chocolate Haagan Dazs in his lap,the television on but he wasn't really watching it. Trying not to cry, he tookspoonful after spoonful of the ice cream. Kurt had basically ignored him atNYADA since their 'break' had started and Blaine felt like he was completelyworthless in Kurt's eyes. He felt so small and insignificant and the only thingthat made him feel any better was eating. He just couldn't stop. His heart washurting him so much right now, all he wanted was for this feeling to go away.The feeling that he was all alone and unloved. That he wasn't good enough foranyone to love. So he kept shovelling the insanely good ice cream into hismouth. He didn't even really care that he was gaining weight. I mean, whoactually wanted him anyway? No one, that's who. He had tried to put on his Capripants this morning but he couldn't get them past his upper thighs, so he hadborrowed a pair of Sam's sweats. They were more comfortable anyway and Samwouldn't mind. He decided one thing there and then. He would eat till he died,because let's face it he had nothing to live for any more anyway. Not withoutKurt.

Almost aweek had gone by since Blaine had come home looking really upset and Sam wasgetting incredibly worried about the boy. He had managed to eat what Samthought was probably about ten times his body weight in junk food and more.That was all he saw Blaine do these days. Eat. Sam wasn't stupid, he knewsomething very serious was up. Blaine had missed pot roast Monday with theothers, claiming not to be feeling very well. After seeing all the junk food,he was ingesting, Sam wasn't surprised. But he didn't seem to be hanging outwith Kurt at all, which immediately sent alarm bells ringing inside of Sam'shead. Those two boys had been practically inseparable for months, ever sinceboth Sam and Blaine had moved to the Big Apple after graduation, but now... Itwas like they were strangers. Sam had also noticed that Blaine had startedborrowing his sweats and the blonde was worried that it was because Blaine hadput on so much weight he couldn't fit into his own clothes any more. He neededto have a serious heart to heart with his best friend and quickly before it gotany worse.

Cominghome from his latest job he saw Mercedes sitting on the couch, watching somerandom programme on the TV. He was surprised that Blaine wasn't there, he hadseemed to make the couch his vegetation spot when Sam wasn't around.

“HeyCedes. Do you know where Blaine is?” He inquired as he came to sit beside thediva. She shook her head, not taking her eyes of the screen.

“SorrySam, I don't know where he is right now.”

He noddedand they sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, Sam shufflingaround on his seat and Mercedes glaring at him occasionally when he jostledher. “Um... have you noticed anything about Blaine lately?” Mercedes sighed andswitched the television off since she knew Sam would not stop pestering hertill he had gotten all the information he wanted from her. She turned to facehim, giving him all of her attention.

“No, why?Well I suppose he's been a little sad lately but that's not really surprisingis it? I mean what with him and Kurt taking a break...” She shrugged andfurrowed her brow when she realised that Sam didn't know any of this. From theway his eyebrows had shot right up his forehead, she knew that he was genuinelysurprised at that piece of news.

“Wait,what? Kurt and Blaine have split up?” He quizzed her, looking incredulous. Sherolled her eyes at his misinterpretation of what she had said.

“Notsplit up Sam, taking a break.” Confusion washed over Sam's face. Wasn't takinga break and breaking up the same thing? It had always meant that in his worldanyway and he had been dumped way more times than Mercedes or Blaine. He waslike a freaking connoisseur in how to get dumped or dump someone. But mainlyget dumped.

“Isn'tthat kinda the same thing?” He blurted out and listened as Mercedes sighed,glaring a little at Sam in exasperation.

“Look Idon't know where your bestie is, alright? Now can I watch my program again inpeace?” Sam acquiesced, standing up and sauntering upstairs to Blaine's room.He knew the boy wouldn't mind Sam hanging out in there to avoid a rather grumpyMercedes. Maybe she was not so cool about them all in the same place after all.He decided he would give the girl a little more space for the mean time. IfBlaine had been dumped by Kurt, he would need some cheering up anyhow and whattype of best friend would he be if he didn't try at the very least.

Blainegot back from the shops laden down with food. All the worst food in the world.Cakes and chocolates and crisps. But he just didn't care anymore. Nobody wantedhim anyway. He trudged wearily up the stairs, getting a little puffed by thetime he reached the top stair, and shuffling into his bedroom so he couldcollapse on his bed and place himself into a food coma. He flopped down on hisbed but was surprised when he saw Sam already on it, looking at him with aslight mixture of worry, sympathy and horror. Yeah ok, so he was fat now. Likehe cared.

“Dude,what’s in the bag?” Blaine huffed and frowned darkly at his friend who wasquizzing him accusingly.

“What areyou, my mother?” He spat out but regretted it when Sam's face grew upset. “I'msorry Sam I just haven't had the best time lately.”

“Yeah Iknow. Mercedes told me. Why didn't you say anything to me Blaine?” Sam asked,the hurt evident on his face as well as in his voice. Sam had never been goodat disguising his feelings from others. Blaine felt a little guilty. Sam wassupposed to be his best friend but he had said nothing to him about it. Heguessed he didn't want to be a burden on his friend, especially since he hadjust split from Mercedes as well.

“I'msorry, I... I don't know why...” He whispered out, suddenly his feet had becomethe most interesting thing in the world and he couldn't take his eyes off ofthem. He couldn't bear to see his friend looking worried about him. He didn'twant to place that weight on Sam's shoulders.

“Blaineyou know I'm always there for you dude, no matter what. That's what bros arefor, right?” Sam clambered over next to where Blaine had slumped down on hisbed and placed his hand on top of the golden eyed boys. His friend, despitehaving gained weight, more than Sam had even realised, seemed so small rightnow and very vulnerable. Tears were gathering in his eyes and Sam knew it wasonly a matter of time before the dam broke. “Blaine you need to stop eating allthis junk. It's not good for you. You're substituting food for love so youwon't feel the pain from the loss of Kurt. I know it hurts like a bitch rightnow but it's something you're just going to have to work through if you want tomove on with your life.”

Blainesat silent for a few seconds, his eyes still glued to his feet. “What if Idon't want to move on?” Sam tried in vain to boost the morale of his beatendown looking friend by smiling widely at him and sliding his arm round Blaine'sshoulders, squeezing the smaller boy tightly in a half hug. It didn't work verywell though, Blaine still felt like crap. Kurt's words still seemed like deepwounds in his heart and the only thing that dulled it was eating.

“You'regoing to have to Blaine. I'm saying this because I love you dude; you need tolose weight and stop eating all this garbage. I love you whatever weight youare, you know that, but I'm starting to really worry about your health. It'snot good to eat this crap twenty-four seven Blaine. You're gonna give yourselfa heart attack or something.”

“Good...Then I won't feel like a have this hole inside my chest where all my insideshave been ripped out.” Sam sat looking horrified at Blaine, and a dull ache ofguilt started to seep into the smaller boy's heart. He didn't really want todie and the thought of leaving his friends in pain, especially Sam, was almostunbearable in itself.

“Blainedon't joke about that. It's not funny. What would I do without you huh? We're ateam, you and I. I couldn't get through all this without you.” The tearsstarted welling up in Blaine's eyes as Sam's word touched him but the blondehad no idea what he was feeling right now. But then how could he? Before heknew it Blaine was blurting it all out to Sam. Everything he had kept insidefor the past week and even longer.

“But Ifeel so worthless Sam. I told Kurt everything. That I felt small compared tohim, that I feel like I'm completely insignificant beside him. Like I'm a pieceof shit on the bottom of his shoe. I told him about how I'm replaceing it hard tofit in at NYADA, in New York, especially when he's so confident all of asudden. I feel like he doesn't need me anymore. And I was right, wasn't I? Hedoesn't want me. He doesn't need me. I laid my whole heart out to him Sam andwhat did it get me? Alone, like I always end up. I thought he actually lovedme. He's the only person that I ever thought loved me and it turns out that hethinks I'm a pain to be around. That all I do is moan and whine. I'm not goodenough for him. I mean look at me, I'm a tub of lard!” Blaine felt the bubbleof the sob as it erupted from his chest loudly and Sam's strong arms wrappedthemselves around him comfortingly as he sobbed into his best friend’sshoulder. He was so glad he had Sam. Sam would never abandon him, never tellhim he wasn't worth anything. Sam actually cared about him. He snuggled closerto his friend’s chest, his head tucked underneath Sam's chin and against hisbest friend’s heart. To Blaine this had felt more like home and safety to him thananything else in a long time and he found that he really loved this feeling.Sam felt like home to him and it was something Blaine had always wanted. Tofeel like he had come home. Only Sam was his friend and nothing more. Could heever feel like he had come home to Sam? Shaking his head, a little he tried toput such thoughts out of his head. He wasn't thinking straight right now after all;he was hurting badly.

“Oh B, Ican't believe you think so little of yourself. You're awesome. You always havetime for the people you love, and trust me when I say there are people who loveyou back. You put everyone else before you. You're like the best friend I'veever had. I feel like I can talk to you about anything and you will never judgeme. You've never made me feel stupid, ever. You're the only person who's neverdone that.” Blaine frowned deeply as Sam revealed that and he could feel theanger begin to burst out from inside him. He wanted to protect his friend fromall the horrible people in the world, he always had.

“You'renot stupid Sam. I hate it when you say that. It's not true. They're all idiotsif they think that.” He spat out venomously and Sam smiled wide, calming Blainedown a little.

“AndKurt's an idiot too if he doesn't see how amazing you are. And you know what Isay, screw them all! I'm taking you to the gym at NYADA and we are going to doa new exercise regime together. We'll get really fit and healthy and tell themall to go to hell. You with me?” Sam stuck his hand out towards Blaine to shakeconfidently as the smaller boy looked down at his belly nervously. He knew thatSam was only doing this to help him lose weight but it felt good that he caredenough to go through this with him.

“...Yeah.I'm with you.” Blaine smiled affectionately up at his friend after a briefhesitation. He was going to do this, he would get fit again, after all he was afighter right? He gripped Sam's had firmly, shaking it twice.

“Nightbirdand Blonde Chameleon all the way.” He giggled at Sam's silly joke. That's whatthey were though, a dynamic duo and they always would be.

“ThanksSam.”

“Yeahwell, I love ya B.” Blaine blushed as Sam said those words. He knew it meant asa friend but his heart couldn't help but race a little at those three littlewords. Sam ruffled his hair, messing up the gel and letting the curls go wildand free in a halo around Blaine's head and Blaine started patting the frizzdown as Sam stood, picking up his sports bag. “Come on dude, get a bagtogether, we're starting now.” Sighing Blaine got off the bed and shoved a fewthings into a duffle bag. Once he was done he followed Sam down the stairs andtowards the gym.

Blainefelt like a tub of lard as he walked through the gym towards the locker room.Once inside it only got even worse. There they all were with abs and pecs andtoned physiques and he was stuck looking like a huge, fat, round beached whaleor something similar. Especially in front of Sam. He watched in horror as Sambegan to strip down to put his gym clothes on. There was no way he could letSam see him looking like this. He just couldn't. He was too self-conscious. Heran to the toilets, barricading himself in one of the cubicles to change. Hehated the way he looked. He was so short and plump, not like most of the othermen here. He could feel the tears stinging his eyes as he changed. He wished hewere someone else, anyone else right now. Someone taller, or thinner, or betterlooking.

“Come onB. You nearly finished?” Sam asks softly through the cubicle door, makingBlaine jump out of his skin.

Sighinghe looked down at himself. He looked ridiculous. His T-shirt was tight aroundhis middle, showing that Blaine's belly had definitely grown in size and he hadhad to roll up the ends of Sam's sweats he was borrowing so that they fit hisshorter frame. He looked like a clown. “Ok, alright already. I'm coming out...You promise not to laugh?” Blaine nervously unlocked the door, not daring tolook at his friend as he opened the door wide.

“Ipromise.” Blaine stepped out, the tears that had welled up in his eyes,spilling over. “B, I have a spare T-shirt if you wanna borrow it?” Sam gentlyasked his friend, looking down at him with worry. Blaine nodded his head andwaited for Sam, pulling his shirt down and crossing his arms over it to try andhide the flab. When Sam got back he gratefully received the shirt and changedinto it, going back into the cubicle so Sam couldn't see him again. He knew itwas silly, Sam wouldn't judge him but he judged himself and if he were trulyhonest he still had a bit of a crush on his friend. He didn't want him to seehim looking unattractive. As he came out once again, Sam practically draggedhim to the lockers, shoving his bag inside the one beside Sam's and thengrabbed his wrist to take them out to the gym itself.

“Ok so,where do you want to start?” Sam inquired looking around at all the differentequipment. Sam knew about keeping his body trim but he was no personal trainer.He had no idea what would be the best thing to trim Blaine down to size.

“Um...thetreadmill?” Blaine looked around almost as uncertain as his blond friend. Hehardly ever went to a gym and NYADA's was pretty big. It had things in herethat Blaine wasn't even sure what they did.

Aninstructor started walking towards the two uncertain looking boys and Sam'sface broke out in a smile. Blaine groaned internally. He did not want completestrangers to judge him and his weight. “Can I help?” He asked in a friendlyenough manner. Blaine didn't want friendly though, he wanted invisibility. Sam,it seemed, was not on the same page.

“Heyyeah, um my friend here and I, we want to get fitter, you know healthier. Whatdo you recommend we try?” Sam asked, trying to be tactful and Blaine smiledweakly at the instructor who carried on smiling and winked at Blaine. He knewwhy they were there, why were they even keeping up the pretences? Blaine feltthe slight scowl start to descend on his face as Sam carried on hisconversation with this trim instructor.

“Well, Ican set you up with a programme for the both of you if you're interested?”

“Thatsounds great, thanks!” Sam enthusiastically replied, turning to Blaine andlooking encouragingly at him. Blaine reluctantly followed, hoping he wasn'tgoing to regret Sam persuading him into this...