Catching Kate (Book 2.5 She-Wolf Series)
Chapter 18

Kate

I stared out over the glassy water and slowly reeled in my line. It had been years since I’d gone fishing. There wasn't much of an opportunity in Chicago, and Thomas would’ve frowned on anything that might get my nails dirty. He hated the outdoors.

For whatever reason, I convinced myself I did too. Looking back, I changed a lot of myself in an effort to be the person he wanted me to be. It was never enough, though. There was always a reason for him to get angry with me or nit pick my faults.

I heard a rustling behind me and turned to replace a white wolf carrying a leather bag in its mouth.

“Hey, Sammy,” I said.

She bowed her head before disappearing into the brush. A moment later, she emerged in her human form, fully clothed and carrying the now empty satchel.

“I didn’t know you still fished,” she remarked and sat down next to me.

“It’s been a while,” I admitted.

My sister looped an arm around me and I leaned my head on to her shoulder.

“How are you?” she asked, gently.

“I’m not really sure,” I sighed. “Part of me is glad it’s all over.”

She nodded. “And the other part?”

I stayed quiet while I gathered my thoughts. Sam didn’t rush me. She had always been a great listener and I knew whatever I told her, she wouldn't voice any judgement.

“I don’t know,” I said, finally. “I’m a little confused. Maybe sad?”

“Why’s that?”

I knew Ivar had probably already told her what happened, but she genuinely seemed like she wanted to hear my view of things.

“I feel like I lost the love of my life,” I told her honestly. I knew I didn’t have to clarify which man I was referring to.

“Why did you send him away?” She asked.

“He completely hijacked the meeting. He went all alpha male and threw Stiler against the wall. It was supposed to be my chance to tell that bastard exactly what I thought of him and -”

I cut myself off. I was breathing heavily and felt like my mind was spinning out of control.

“And?” Sam asked, gently pushing me to continue.

”I’m just worried that I won’t have closure now that I missed my chance to say what I needed to.”

She looked at me thoughtfully, “Would it really have made a difference? Or would Stiler have just continued to hurt you more?” She continued before I had the chance to respond, “I think you shine so bright, the only way he could feel powerful around you was to try and snuff out your light, Kate. You’re brilliant, smart, and gorgeous. Any man who tries to take that from someone they claim to love must be so insanely insecure and broken. The biggest ‘fuck you’ you could give him would be living happily without him.”

I mulled over her words and realized she was probably right. No matter what I said, there was no way Thomas would ever see his actions as wrong. To him, I was something to be possessed and controlled. Anytime I tried to be more, he was sure to put me in my place.

“Emerick scared me,” I admitted quietly. “I’ve never seen him like that.”

She shook her head. “He wouldn't have hurt you.”

“You didn’t see him,” I insisted. “He was like an animal.”

Sam stared out over the water with a slightly pained expression.

“Sort of like a wolf?” She offered.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Katie, honey, that’s what it is to be a werewolf,” she smiled slightly but it was tinged with sadness. “There’s a lot of incredible things that come with being a supernatural creature, but there’s a part of him - a part of all of us - that is decidedly not human. We are driven by our wolf’s instinct just as much as we are our human feelings and emotions."

I shook my head. "I'm not used to being around werewolves."

To my surprise Sam laughed. "Kate you've been around wolves your entire life. You were raised by one. I am a werewolf."

"That's different," I argued.

"Not really," she said, simply. "Ivar left me behind because I told him I would kill Stiler."

I was shocked with her disclosure. "You would've killed him?"

"Kate, I would've gladly ripped his head off and dropped it at your goddamn feet," she said, her tone cold. "Every fiber of my being still tells me to hunt him down. With as much as Emerick is going through and witnessing what Thomas Stiler did to you, I’m honestly surprised he was able to maintain control. He is innately driven to protect his mate, you, at all costs. If his wolf felt you were in danger, it would’ve been all but impossible for him to stand back and do nothing. Couple that with the pain he’s in and the lack of sleep -”

“What do you mean ‘the pain he’s in’?”

Sam sighed. “The unfinished mate bond has a lot of side effects on top of losing his enhanced abilities. For me, it was like a weight in my chest and a constant dull headache. Ivar couldn’t sleep without dreaming of me. It feels a lot like grief and heartbreak.”

“He hasn’t say anything,” I murmured.

“I’m sure he doesn’t want you to feel guilty,” she offered, gently.

“I can’t mate him,” I told her. “You have to convince him to reject me.”

My sister' gaze seemed like it was a million miles away.

“If he doesn’t want to reject you, there’s no one that’s going to be able to convince him to do it,” she said, slowly. “The bond is so strong. Ivar would have rejected me in order to protect me and keep us both from unraveling. In Emerick’s eyes, he’s only sacrificing himself. Even if he falls to the bond, you will still have a life.”

“He barely knows me,” I insisted. “Why not just move on?”

Sam pursed her lips. “Luke said something to me when I was still deciding what I needed to do with Ivar. He pointed out that fate had hand selected Ivar for me and he was probably my soulmate. If you turned away your soulmate, would anyone else ever really be enough?”

I felt a tear fall down my cheek and quickly wiped it away.

“Sammy, part of me wishes that I felt what he does,” I whispered. “But I don’t. To me, he’s your ex and a hot guy who is undeniably obsessed with me. He’s great, but I just got out of a really difficult relationship and I need time to process.”

“Honey, I’m not telling you I think you’re wrong for not mating him,” she said. “I get it. But if you’re hoping he will reject you, I want you to realize he won’t.”

“So my options are to marry him or watch him die? How is that fair?”

“It’s not,” Sam shook her head. “I’m so sorry, Kate.”

“Why are you sorry?” I asked.

She picked at the dirt by her feet. “Honestly, I’ve been struggling with the immense guilt of having a relationship with your mate first.”

“I'm not trying to make you feel that way,” I told her.

“It would be easier if I hadn’t slept with him though, right?” She smiled sadly. “Now that I’m with Ivar, my relationship with Emerick seems so insignificant. I’m sure he feels the same way about me. But for you, it has to be incredibly difficult.”

“It’s a little weird,” I admitted. “But I believe you. I guess I can’t pretend that it bothered me that much. I slept with him on our first date.”

“Werewolves are little sexually aggressive,” Sam offered and glanced at me from her periphery to gauge my response.

I chuckled. “I didn’t give him much of an opportunity to refuse.”

Sam rolled her eyes. “Even if you had, I doubt he would’ve taken it. He was a little… promiscuous before we met.”

“I’m not one to judge,” I said, dryly. “Whatever happened to that Sierra chick?”

“Celeste?” Sam clarified. “Last I heard she’s mated and has a pup on the way.”

“Wow. She works fast.”

“I think it was easier for her to move on once Emerick cut ties,” she said, thoughtfully. “Giving her hope made it more difficult for her to replace someone who wanted what she did.”

We both watched a large hawk swoop low over the water. Without the presence of human traffic, wildlife teemed in the pack forests.

“Do you think I should mate him?” I asked after a moment.

“Oh Kate, I can’t answer that fairly,” Sam sighed. “Do I want to see my friend die slowly from a broken heart? Not really. Do I want to see you accept a relationship just to appease everyone else? Definitely not. I also don’t want you to miss out on love.”

“I’m not sure I know what love is,” I smiled but I felt a lump forming in my throat.

Sam gave my shoulder a squeeze.

“Kate, you’re going to get through this,” she told me. “You already have. You’re living on your own terms now.”

”It might not matter,” I conceded. “I told Emerick I hated him and would never mate him. He probably wants nothing to do with me.”

Sam chuckled. “I doubt it. There’s nothing that could keep him away. The connection is really strong and Emerick doesn’t want to resist it.”

I nodded but wasn’t totally convinced. We sat in silence watching the water for a long time. It felt good to be at my sister’s side. She had always been my voice of reason and the steady calm to my crazy.

“Can I make one request?” Sam asked, her tone hesitant, and I nodded. “If you’re truly against mating him no matter what, you should let him go. Letting him get close and then pushing him away isn’t doing either of you any favors.”

“I can’t stay away, Sam,” I admitted quietly.

“What do you mean?” She tilted her head in confusion.

“It’s like there’s a magnet that draws me to him,” I explained. It was the first time I was letting myself admit that I felt some sort of innate pull towards my supposed fated mate.

“You feel the bond?” Sam gasped.

I shook my head. “Not the way you describe, but there’s a force I can’t explain. I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. When I try to distance myself, I only crave him more.”

“Have you told him?” She asked.

Again, I shook my head. “I hadn’t really admitted it to myself to be honest.”

She stared at me, clearly at a loss of words.

“You’ve been through a lot recently,” she finally conceded.

“I know he’s a good man and I know he would make me happy,” I said. “I just don’t know if I would be enough for him. He’s a badass werewolf and I'm just -”

Suddenly, I felt a tug on my fishing line.

“You got a bite!” Sam exclaimed.

I stood up and reeled in a beautiful trout. It flipped and wriggled on the hook. Sam jumped up and down on the shoreline in excitement as I quickly got it off the line.

Before I could throw it back she called, “Hang on! Let me grab a picture!”

“Okay, Mom,” I laughed, sarcastically.

“Hey! This is a momentous occasion! It’s your first catch in years!”

“It’s my first one since my last competition,” I said, thoughtfully.

There was a time I had dabbled with becoming a competitive bass fisherman. I grew up spending time on the water with my dad and I always felt at home with a rod and reel in my hands.

Dad signed me up for a competition for fun and my hobby sort of snowballed from there. We traveled quite a bit so that I could continue to compete. I decided I needed to take a break during law school and then after meeting Thomas my focus shifted.

As I held the flopping fish up for Sam to snap a photo, I couldn’t believe I ever stopped. I threw the slippery creature back a moment later and it immediately dove beneath the surface.

“I’ve missed this,” I told Sam. “Thomas thought fishing was pointless so I stopped after we met.”

“Well,” Sam said, carefully, “you’re free to do whatever you want now.”

She suddenly turned her head and seemed to be staring into the trees intently.

“Zef caught your scent,” she said. “I can go head him off if you want.”

I thought about it for a moment.

“No, let him come.”

“Are you sure?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’ve never actually met his wolf,” I told her.

Sam bit her lip. “I’m not sure now is the time for introductions.”

I pursed my lips as I thought of the hurt on Emerick's face when I sent him away.

“At the very least, I owe Emerick an explanation.”

My sister nodded slowly, “Okay. Do you want me to stay?”

”No, you should head back.”.

“Okay,” she said, clearly uncomfortable. “If you’re sure?”

“I am,” I smiled up at her as she stood. “Thank you for coming to replace me.”

“Always, Katie Bug.”

I wrinkled my nose playfully at the use of my childhood nickname. Sam grinned at me and then walked back to the cover of the trees before I heard her wolf let loose a long howl. I imagined she was calling out to Emerick but I wasn’t sure if it was a welcome or a warning.

I sat by the still water, listening to the birds chirp and the insects hum. It brought me a sense of calm despite my nerves at facing the approaching wolf. I remembered Sam’s insistence that he would never harm me, and I knew it was the truth.

The sound of heavy panting drew my attention to the East. A beautiful, silver wolf stepped into the clearing a moment later. Sunlight glinted off of his magnificent coat and his eyes held a knowing gaze. My breath hitched at the sight.

We stared at each other, neither of us moving for what felt like eternity. Finally, Zef jumped down from the boulder where was perched and gently padded over to my side. From where I was sitting, he towered over me.

I stiffened as he reached his snout towards my face and I felt his warm breath on my skin. He paused before gently licking my cheek. The contact sent a tingling directly to my heart.

I reached up hesitantly and ran my fingers through the thick fur at his neck. It was so much softer than I imagined it would be. At my touch, he pressed his fluffy cheek against my own and warmth flooded my body. To call it anything other than magical would be a lie.

“Hi, Zef,” I whispered.