CHASE
6

'You molested your own seven year old sister!'

'I didn't. I would never do that!'

'She's your sister god damn it! You're fifteen, you should know right from wrong! Admit to it before I get really angry!'

'I never did it!'

'Pass me the knife Katherine, I think our boy needs some reminders.'

'No, no! Not again, no!'

The clock echoed into my ear as I jumped up, sweat covering my damp skin. I had grown accustomed to waking up every night to the same old shit. Same old nightmares. They didn't phase me anymore. It was like routine work. I checked the time to see it was only 5:40am. Every night, at that exact time, I'd wake up to this. Every single night. It was a constant reminder of when I hurt her. I didn't want to hurt her, I just wanted to scare her, to make her stop.

'I'm scared Chase.'

'It's ok, I'm here. It's over now. It's over.'

'What did you do to mummy and daddy?'

'I put them to sleep.'

'Why.. no. There's blood. You killed them. You, you're going to kill me.'

'I would never hurt you.. wait come back.'

'What are you doing? Put down the phone.'

'Please help, I'm scared my brother is going to kill m..'

'Sofia don't!'

The sound of the loud thud still lingers in my ears. The clock ticked away in the silence of the night, 5:40am exact. I had done it, I had hurt her. She was only seven. I never meant to hurt her. I cared for her. But she betrayed me. At the end, she was just another one of them. Maybe she deserved to die too. I should've killed her when I had the chance. Instead, I sat by her side and held her bloodied head in my lap until the police arrived. She is the reason why I'm here and yet I cared for her more than I did myself.

I'd been sitting there for a while, just taking in all the voices in my head, they told me things I already knew. Things like Sofia should be on the list too. But she vanished, gone. Erased. She was a lucky one. The one that got away. All she had to do was trust me. I cared for her, so much more than I should have and she didn't give a damn about me. She turned out to be just like one of them.

But you still care for her!

No! She turned her back on me.

She hated you for what you done!

I did it for her!

You did it for you.

'Arrrhhhhh' My fist collided with the wall, momentarily shutting out the voices. The pain felt nice on my bleeding knuckles. It distracted me from the real pain, the real ache. I closed my eyes, waiting to get drowned into the dark, deep, depths of my head. How can someone so small and little, haunt you every night? She deserved everything she got. She deserved it.

You don't mean that.

I do.

No. You don't.

'Leave me alone!' I yelled through gritted teeth. Getting off the bed, I made my way to the bathroom. I watched as my blood mixed with the water and drained down the sink. It stung, the stinging almost soothing. It reminded me of all the times I had bled, all the times I had felt this exact same stinging sensation, it fuelled my rage and gave me motivation to get back what was mine, my life. I had to get my one last job done and get out of here. The walls, the bright lights, they were what made the patients crazy. The voices in my head had never been so strong, so bad, until here, until recently. I had to end my game and leave, leave for good.

It'd been hours until the blonde walked in and gave me my meds. As usual, she was way too perky for working at a place like this. I ignored her as I did everyday. She noticed the cuts on my knuckles and the blood that had dried up on it, she glanced over to the wall behind me and saw the imprint of my bloody knuckles.

'Oh no. What happened here?' She raised an eyebrow and talked to me like I was a child. I wanted to strangle her and show her just how much of a man I am. 'Let's get that fixed up.' She pulled out her first aid kit like it was something special. 'This will sting.' She held up the bottle of rubbing alcohol as if it was suppose to scare me. When I didn't flinch or make a face, she looked up at me with a twisted face. 'That didn't hurt?' She questioned. 'No.' I've had worse, did she really think a little sting was going to have me running? I sat in silence for the rest of the time she bandaged my hand then waited for her to get the fuck out of my face. I was in no mood to entertain women today.

I sat in the dining hall with my eyes glued to my prey. I had to replace a way to get her alone and I had to replace a way, now. She was huddled up on a chair, eating away her meal, her eyes glued to the table. She must've felt more safe being out in the open and not locked up in her room. She knew I was coming. It took her about five years to finish her meal, she was hesitant to leave, to go back into her little hole. I stood up and followed her out, telling the staff that I was going to head back to my room. In order to get to her, I had to knock out the guy that followed me everywhere and I had to knock out the woman that followed my prey everywhere. I could only do this once so I had to be ready, I had to be fast. Stealing injections from the nurse wasn't too hard. She barely even noticed when I took it out of her pocket. All I had to do was steal another one and then I'd be ready to put these two staffs to sleep and get my hands on my last 'victim.' I scanned the room she was taken to. Making sure that there were no faults in my game. I had no time to redo all of this if something did go wrong. Soon, soon she'll join the rest of them. Buried ten feet deep.

I'd sat in silence for some time before my daily therapist walked in. Bella. She may as well earn the title since all she does is try and talk to me like a therapist. 'Hey you' I heard her close the door behind her and strode over to me. I kept my back to her, no interest in entertaining her right now.

'I know you're awake. The nurse told me that you're awfully grumpy today.' I wanted to rip out her tonsils so that she couldn't speak anymore. Her voice was starting to really hit a nerve. 'Well. I'm going to sit here until you..' as soon as she sat on the bed, I turned around and pulled her down into the bed and got on top of her. one hand covering her mouth, one hand holding her wrists above her head. Fear was evident in her shaken up features but I didn't give a shit. I was tired and not in the mood for her bullshit today. 'I suggest you shut the fuck up before I rip out your tongue.' Her eyes widened at my threat, which wasn't a threat, I'd stick to my word if I had to. 'Do you got me?' I pressed my hand further onto her mouth, she nodded in response, good. 'Good girl.'

Take her.

Claim her.

Show her the real you.

Show her what you enjoy doing to women.

No! Go away!

I stared at her for the longest time, my heart was beating loud in my chest. Her small body trapped beneath my large one was awakening the worst in me. As if sensing my predatory instincts, she squirmed beneath me, oh how much I loved that. The squirming, the screaming. I pressed myself harder against her, burying my face in the crook of her neck. I could hear her mumbling into my hand as I traced my lips against her throat. Her scent was driving me crazy. I wanted to fuck her until she blacked out. I tightened my grip on her wrists, moving my face from her neck, down to her chest. How I wanted so much to rip her clothes off and destroy her body.

Do it.

She's never going to come back.

You don't need her. Do it.

I can't.

You can.

I can't!

I let go of her instantly and clutched my head. My breath coming in heavy and fast. She shifted her body beneath me, I still had my weight pressed on her. I couldn't move. I didn't want to move. The voices, they were so loud. They were so draining, the more I tried to stop hearing them, the louder they yelled. They wanted the same thing as me, control. I didn’t blame them, they were a part of me, they felt what I felt, they went through what I went through. But they all disappeared, the voices. The thoughts. All vanished as I heard her voice calling out for me. 'Chase.' She whispered, her small hands placed over my large ones that were still clutching my head. 'Breathe.' Her words were soothing to my needy soul. Her eyes traced over my bandaged hand, she rubbed over it. I was the one who attacked her yet she was the one trying to calm me. I didn't understand it.

Trying to lift myself off her, she wrapped her arm around my head and pulled me against her. I could've moved. But I didn't. My head on her chest, it felt strange, her heart was beating loud and fast, I knew that I'd terrified her. I closed my eyes and inhaled her presence. For a minute, just for a minute, I would allow this. Allow myself the luxury of listening to the sound of her enticing heart beat. To lay here and take in everything that is Bella.