Chasing Cthulhu (Urf Oomons #2)
: Chapter 12

“Ok, so step one: replace Gloria.” Tiny has a pencil and is writing in shimmery blue on the cafeteria table. The writing is an Earth-Human script that I cannot read. She finishes writing a line of indecipherable symbols and then looks around the table at each of us in turn.

“We should consider,” Ken says, “whether we must replace this specific human.”

“What do you mean?” Tiny asks.

“Well, there are billions of humans. You explained that to me. That your whole planet swarms with humans. And almost half of them are female.”

Tiny nods.

“It will be near impossible to replace one human among billions. Could we not just land a shuttle and take the first human female that wanders near?”

Tiny sets her pencil down and looks at Ken for a moment before responding.

“Gloria is special. And she needs our help. She’s the specific person we want to go get. We aren’t just filling a human quota.”

Ken dips his chin in agreement, but says, “Perhaps though, we should consider that every sentient being is a special individual and from what I have observed most of them need help. If Lu wants a human, we can just—””

“Jeez, Ken, do you really not get it?”

“Get what?” Seven, Ken, and I glance at each other. None of us get it.

“We are friends right, Ken?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Ok, so if I was missing, if I was in trouble, and needed you to replace me, would you? Or would you just go pick up some other human to replace me?”

Seven has snaked a tentacle around Tiny’s waist and bares his fangs at Ken over her head. Any slight or threat to Tiny, even something that only upsets her mood engenders extreme reactions in Seven. I flash back on how violently I responded when Gloria was threatened, but I dismiss this line of thought. Seven is Tiny’s breedmate. Gloria and I do not have that kind of relationship, so my feelings were out of line.

My tentacles all scrunch up and still, waiting for Ken’s answer.

He says, “Of course we would replace you.”

“Ok, well, it’s the same kind of situation with Gloria.”

Ken holds up a tentacle to object. “But you do not know her. She is not your friend.”

“She’s Lu’s friend!” Tiny is raising her voice in exasperation and Seven is snarling at Ken.

Ken looks at me, expecting me to comment on this.

“She is my friend,” I answer, not exactly sure if I am being honest. Does Gloria consider me a friend? Or is this all wishful thinking on my part? In any case, if she is in trouble and being detained and mistreated as Tiny suspects, I will go replace her whether Ken understands the why of it or not.

Tiny points her pencil toward the script she drew, “So, Step One: replace Gloria.”

“How will we replace her, though?” Seven asks. “One human among billions?”

He holds both of his hands up peacefully because Tiny has whipped round to glare at him so fast that it caused her fluffy mane to bounce around her head. “I agree that we should replace her,” he explains placatingly. “I am wondering how.”

“In the video Lu showed me, he gave her a translator. It’s probably the only translator clip on Earth right now. Can we track that?”

I dip my chin to affirm. Even if it is not the only one on the planet, I should be able to track it because my neural implant had interphased with it while Gloria wore it.

Tiny scribbles some more of her Earth script then says, “Okay, so that’s what we’ll try first. If she’s been detained, they probably took the clip. If the clip has been disabled or destroyed somehow, can we still track it?”

“No,” Seven answers. “We need a signal. If there is no signal, we cannot track it.”

We all sit quietly for a moment as Tiny scribbles some more. She is so energetic and creative. She is always making something.

Ken breaks the silence and says, “If the translation clip had interphased with a compatible device we could work out its location at the time it was disabled.”

A good point, but Earth is so primitive I doubt any of their technology is compatible with a translation clip.

“Translation clips are very sturdy. I doubt a human could destroy it,” Seven adds.

“Alright, so we’ll operate on the assumption that we can track the translation clip. But when we replace it, it probably won’t be with Gloria,” Tiny says, scribbling away. “So we need a plan for how we will get whoever we replace with the translator to tell us where she is.”

This is getting more complicated with every step.

“Even if they don’t know where to replace her, they should know something that will help us replace her. Hopefully.” She continues.

This is all starting to sound impossible. There are too many variables, and we are probably just going to get ourselves caught by these Earth government people. If they would detain people and treat them harshly just for having interacted with aliens, what might they do with any actual aliens they catch? It did not bear thinking about. But an idea comes to me.

“We need Baht’s help,” I say.

Seven says, “No.” And glares at me.

“Where is Baht anyway?” Tiny asks, “I thought he would come back here when he was done infiltrating the Seereechee hive.”

“He never said anything like that to me,” I tell her. “Did he say that to you?”

“No, I guess not. I just assumed he was staying with us from now on. He seemed to like it here.”

Tiny has a very sad cast to her face now. Did she really want Baht to stay with us on this ship forever?

She shrugs off her despondency and says, “Double-yew, Double-yew, Bee, Dee,” she writes emphatically as she talks. “What would Baht do?”

I understand half of her statement, but humans have many strange customs and ways of talking. It’s best not to ask questions. Or answer questions since more than half of human questions are not real questions, but hypothetical ones.

“Well, if he was here, the first thing he would do is start sending polite messages asking for her back, and if that doesn’t work, he would hire bounty hunters to retrieve her. If that didn’t work, he’d go himself,” Tiny explains, writing all of it down. She has nearly run out of room on this table.

“I did not say we need him to plan the rescue,” I say. “We need him for his affinity with AIs and computer systems.”

“But you have a point, Tiny,” Ken says. “If we can track down that translator, one of us could interphase with it and use it to broadcast a message. We could just politely inquire about Gloria’s whereabouts.”

Seven adds, “And if they are disagreeable, we could inform them of the Seereechee threat that Earth is vulnerable to. We can tell them of Tiny’s plan to protect Earth from this threat with an automated defense system.”

Tiny nods. “That might soften them up.” She continues writing. She has run out of room and is drawing a cramped script around the edges of the table.

“We will approach Earth again and track the translator clip. That is our first task in any case,” Ken says.

“Agreed,” Seven says. He then pulls Tiny close to him. He always has at least one tentacle loosely wrapped around her now and she does not mind. Seven’s attention and his guarding behavior seem to make her glow with happiness. I never could have imagined such a thing, any being willingly submitting themselves to a Homeworlder’s attention.

She smiles up at Seven, clasping his hand and interlacing her fingers with his. “Let’s go check on the babies.”

That is another thing. Tiny inexplicably allowed Seven to breed her, to seed spawn in her that she then diligently worked to guard and deliver safely. At great risk to herself. I would not have believed it, but I have reviewed the footage myself. I do not usually spy on others’ breeding habits—none of us had any breeding habits to spy on until Tiny joined us.

I checked the security log because I was concerned that Seven may have manipulated or coerced her in some way. Historically, that is what Homeworlder spawning is, coercing an unwary being into hosting our young. That kind of behavior has been outlawed for centuries and nobody on Homeworld Two breeds in the old way anymore. There are fully automated artificial hosting chambers in breeding facilities on Homeworld Two. From the time an egg is harvested, through germination, until a youngling is ready to leave its tank and take on the responsibility and self-sufficiency of an adult citizen. The whole process is automated.

So, I was concerned. I could not believe that consent was given freely.

It was though.

I was shocked to see that Tiny had instigated their encounter. She had encouraged Seven at every juncture. Not just encouraged but demanded.

I am envious. Not that I have ever felt drawn to Tiny the way Seven is. But Seven has a breedmate. He has a willing host for his young. He is changed by it. Where he used to seem aimless, immature, and always in need of direction, now he is devoted and fierce in his focus on Tiny and the family he has made with her. He weighs options carefully then acts decisively.

I want that for myself.

Gloria’s face surfaces in my mind, but I quickly discard that line of thinking. The very most I am to her is a friend. Just because Tiny feels romantic affection for one Homeworlder, does not mean that Gloria will follow suit. I suspect that Tiny is uniquely open-minded for a human. She would probably be considered a deviant among her kind for the choices she has made.

Everyone else has left the cafeteria and I am alone here with my thoughts, staring at the table Tiny has marked up. I need to shake myself out of this lassitude.

Ever since I first spied Gloria in her kayak, I have been struggling with my own wants. To be close to her. To guard her. I have wanted to touch her, breath in her scent, and keep her in my sight at all times.

I am proud of my restraint. But how can I maintain that restraint if Tiny succeeds in her plans and Gloria comes to stay with us on this ship?