Chasing His Rejected Wife
Chapter 29 -

The day Julian passed, I'd gotten dead drunk.

The nurse at the hospice had alerted the family members that Julian was in his final moments and we had all gathered, even Aiden to say our goodbyes.

Afterwards, we'd parted ways, each one lost in our own world of grief and disbelief, struggling to process Julian's passing.

Through the tears that streamed unheeded down my cheeks, I had noticed Aiden standing in the parking lot with Elisa, her arm wrapped around his waist as she murmured comforting words to him. It had served as a cold and harsh reminder that I had lost the one pillar that held my crumbling marriage together and had more than Julian's death to grieve over.

I'd planned to go home and spend a quiet evening processing my feelings, but that sight had destabilized me and I'd headed to Anna's bar instead, in desperate need of a sympathetic ear and a drinking buddy. All through the night at the bar, Aiden's words on our wedding day echoed in my head.

'The second Julian is in the grave, this sham of a marriage is over.'

Finally at midnight, I grabbed a Lyft and went home. I'd thought I was alone in the house when I entered, my husband likely busy seeking solace in another woman's bed. My steps were unsteady from the effects of too much alcohol that made my limbs feel sluggish and unresponsive. I hiccupped loudly, then giggled as the sound echoed round the foyer, covering my mouth with one hand.

With the other hand, I braced myself against the wall and lazily toed off my red velvet Weitzman boots, then sighed as my aching toes were finally freed after a long day in three inch heels. Ignoring the discarded shoes, I stumbled down the short hallway leading to the kitchen, in search of something to ease my parched throat.

This was a side effect of downing too much wine, I usually wound up as thirsty as a soul in hell and if I didn't drink enough water before bed, the hangover would make me question my life's choices. The kitchen was shrouded in darkness, but I chose to forgo turning on the lights and felt my way to the fridge. I got a bottle of cold water and headed to my room, taking long sips along the way.

I stopped when I realized the door to Aiden's study was open. Cautiously, I tiptoed closer and peered in. It was dark, but the TV was switched on to fireplace mode, and cast an orange glow that was enough to let me see Aiden, sitting there, head bowed, elbows resting on his knees.

The light cast his form in a sharp shadow behind him. He was still dressed in the clothes he'd been wearing earlier, his hair ruffled, the smell of booze surrounding him. He must have sensed someone watching him then, because he raised his head and stared at me.

"You're home." I blurted, feeling awkward at being caught and resorted to stating the obvious.

"Where have you been?" His voice was raspy and rough; had he been crying? He leaned back to slouch on the chair, head hanging off to the side as he continued to watch me watch him.

"Hanging out with Anna." For a moment, I was tempted to reciprocate the question, but why torture myself further? Instead, I summoned some courage and stepped into the room and approached him. This close, I noticed the beginnings of a five o clock shadow on his face, the bloodshot eyes and the grief etched into his features.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly. I came to a stop a few feet from him, still cradling my water and purse.

He made a sound in his throat that sounded like self mockery. "Am I okay?" He drawled, sounding less like his usual self.

He lifted a hand and crooked a finger at me, beckoning me closer. I took three steps and stopped, suddenly nervous.

His red rimmed eyes lifted to meet mine. "Do I look okay, Jessica?"

His question hung heavy in the air and I could feel some sort of tension wrap around the two of us. I shook my head, unsure what else to say.

"That ornery bastard." Aiden muttered, burying his head in his hands again. "Always had us believing him to be invincible but he's gone. He's fucking gone, Jessica"

Aiden's voice cracked as he spoke, and the weight of his grief hung heavily in the room. For a moment, I was frozen in place, unsure of how to react in the face of Aiden's grief. I'd never seen him so vulnerable; to me, he'd always been this strong, stoic rock with emotions locked away as securely as a treasure hidden in a vault of stone. His usual demeanor was as unyielding as the mountains, his expression an enigmatic mask that rarely revealed the turmoil beneath. But now, in this moment of rare vulnerability, it was as if the walls of that emotional fortress had crumbled just a fraction, allowing me a glimpse into the man that stayed hidden behind the mask.

I took a hesitant step forward, ready to bolt if he so much as gave me one of those impassive looks for invading his personal space and I could hear my heart pounding so loud it was a wonder no one else could hear it. I set down my purse and water bottle on the desk and crouched down in front of his chair, rubbing my sweaty palms on my jeans as I wondered if it was okay to touch him.

With anyone else, I wouldn't think twice about offering a few gentle pats on the back, while I tried to comfort them with words. I'd found that for most people, physical contact was a soothing counterpart to kind words. But with my husband...he'd made it clear several times that he didn't like me touching him, so I settled for the safest option and kept my hands to myself.

"Aiden..." I began, my voice betraying my nerves. "I'm so sorry. Julian was an amazing man, and you're right - we all saw him as this strong, tough man who could do anything he set his mind to. It's hard to believe he's really gone." I could feel fresh tears spring in my eyes as memories of my times with Julian - the healthy version of him. In my mind's eye, I saw him as he used to be, full of vitality and humor. His deep, resonant laughter had the power to lift the spirits of everyone around him. I remembered the way he would regale me with stories from his youth, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he recounted his adventures while I listened with avid interest. I'd watched him conduct business and had carefully tried to follow in his footsteps. He'd been more a father to me than my own.

I bit back a sob when I realized that Aiden's shoulders were shaking from the force of his own silent sobs. Throwing caution to the wind, I leaned forward, wrapped my arms around his shoulders and drew him close. He came willingly, letting his head fall against the top of my bosom as he gave in to his emotions and wept. I wept alongside him, the sound of our sobs mingling together in a harmony of misery.

We stayed that way until we ran out of tears. Aiden was the first to recover and raised his head from my now damp shirt. He still looked like a sad, lost puppy and my heart, already mushed for him, melted a bit more. Without thinking, I used one hand to gently wipe at a tear streak, he felt like burnished jade, smooth and warm to the touch and I couldn't resist tracing over the contours of his face - the high, sharp cheekbones, the rough stubble of his beard that tickled my fingertips, the smooth line of his jaw, the surprisingly soft texture of his lips. My fingers lingered there, as I wondered what it would feel like to kiss him...what if I just leaned forward and pressed my lips to his - just for a minute? Maybe it was the booze that gave me wings, or maybe it was the high strung emotional state I was in that made me do it. But, the moment our lips touched, I knew I would do it all over again if I had the chance. It was like a universe of sensations exploded in my body. Aiden's lips were just as soft as I'd thought, sending electric currents surging from the point of contact, through my nerves to pool in liquid heat in my belly. It was just a moment, a stolen touch but elicited such heady sensations that left me breathless and dizzy.

Aiden's sharply drawn breath broke the moment and I let out a small gasp of my own and jerked away, horrified at what I'd just done.

I was too terrified to look him in the eye, afraid of what I'd see - anger, disgust, hatred, condemnation.

With my face flaming red with embarrassment, I muttered apologies as I scrambled to my feet, needing to flee before he lashed out at me for violating his personal space. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what came...I'm drunk and I know it's not an excuse but..."

I turned away as I rambled on, set to run, when suddenly, Aidens hands clamped around my waist like two unbreakable steel bands.