We went into the nearby Mall and as we roamed around here, Chandria didn't stop talking. She wanted to fill me up with some information and happenings I missed when I left Manila. She mentioned that she started organizing a few art exhibits that allowed her to sell some of her old paintings while some of it were already bought with the help of multiple auctions she joined with. She donated the money she got from all these activities to several orphanages and charity foundations.

"I remember one time, I announced that my art work of you will be put in auction. This sounds unbelievable but someone just bought it. The buyer paid a million pesos just to own the painting. I was beyond thankful to that buyer, whoever that person was! I was able to help a lot of children in an orphanage located in Makati." she said proudly.

I can't believe what she just said. If I am not mistaken, the painting she was referring to was the one she showed me before. It was me wearing a red long dress with a background filled with mixed colors of green and black, like it was created to be an abstract design. On that painting, it seemed that I turned my gaze onto something but I didn't know what it was. Chandria didn't explain its concept further, and I am afraid that even if she explains its meaning thoroughly, I won't be able to understand. It was still good though. Chandria is definitely a good painter.

There's a beauty in darkness. That was the only thing she said before. That is the message she was trying to imply when she painted it and she saw me in her imagination that's why I was the subject of that art work.

"I believe you created so many beautiful paintings. I didn't get it why you chose to sell that one. I mean, why?" I asked her curiously as I continued to follow her while she's busy buying some ingredients for the cake she wants to bake for me. She turned to me while she's holding the push cart. She smiled sweetly at me.

"I would like someone to see the real meaning of that painting Nathalie because I know you don't understand the meaning of that painting even though I already gave you an idea before," she replied and then she giggled. "That time, I was actually curious whether someone would understand your emotion I illustrated on that painting or what not. I wanted someone to see its beauty and guess what? Someone did! Perhaps that person thought you're beautiful despite the gloomy background I put on that art work."

"I don't know Chandria," I shrugged, rejecting what she said. "Probably, the person who bought it was also suffering in anxiety."

"Stop the negativity, Nathalie!" She groaned. I flinched when she punched my arm so hard. "It's your birthday yet you feel so negative about everything! Don't let the bad vibe consume you, alright?"

"I am sorry, alright? I am only stating my opinion. It's hard to believe that someone waste some money and purchased that painting because what? He or she saw my emotion? That was stupid..."

"Well, I already told you that someone bought it and you have to believe me. Now, stop the negativity! I hate it. It's your birthday and we're supposed to be happy!" she hissed and then rolled her eyes on me.

She turned around and continued to put some items inside our push cart. I just followed her and decided not to say anything about her painting. I don't want to offed her or what not. I just don't see the reason as to why someone had interest in it.

A painting of a woman who wore nothing but dark and cold emotions on her face with background painted in green and black holding an undefined explanation.

I don't really think it is worth a million pesos.

After almost an hour of doing some groceries, we decided to dine in at the coffee shop and talked about our lives and work. I can't help but to feel amazed as Chandria is still lively and cheerful while I already feel tired and sleepy. I want to go home and take a rest.

"Sei and I had an argument a while ago because he doesn't want us to have a baby yet. He said that I am getting weirder," she crossed her arms on her chest and pouted her lips. "I want to have a baby so bad, but I don't want us to get married just yet. He doesn't understand where I'm coming. Tell me, what's wrong about that?"

"Nothing's wrong with it. How about you break up with him?" I suggested and then I sipped on my coffee.

She gasped and then she held her chest. It's like she startled with my suggestion.

"Holy cow! Break up with him? Only because of a petty argument?"

I shrugged. That's the only idea I had because I don't really know romantic relationship works and I don't want to know.

"Well, that's only a suggestion since you mentioned Sei doesn't want to give what you want. You told him that you wanted to have a baby but he only said you're getting weirder only because you don't want to get married yet, so..."

She shook her head and then gasped in disbelief. She let out a heavy sigh and stared at me carefully. For a moment, I felt awkward by the way she looked at me.

"You no longer see the light and good in everything. It really saddens me, Nathalie. You only see nothing but all the negative sides..." she stated softly that literally hit the soft spot inside my chest.

"Please Chandria... Don't misinterpret what I suggested. That was only an advise and it is still up to you would follow it or not," I said as my defense.

She only nodded slowly and smiled sadly at me. All of a sudden, the guilt consumed me like I really did say something awful for her to feel sad like this. That made my chest tighten.

"I think we should go home to grandma Helga's house now so that I can bake your cake and we can celebrate over dinner." she said and then started getting our things on the chair beside her. Am I really that wrong?

"Alright..." I sighed and helped her with our groceries.

We went out of the coffee shop and walked near the escalator. I stepped into it absentmindedly as I held on the railings. Chandria stood up in front of me and it appears that she's texting someone.

I sighed heavily and looked down at my feet. I bit my lower lip so that I can prevent myself from tearing up.

Why am I feeling this way on my birthday?

Honestly, I don't deserve this day at all. For me, it is much better to face the sorrow on a normal day. Normal days give me a normal treatment. I don't want to live in a special day, to be obligated to celebrate. I don't want special days. It bothers me so much when I need to act nicely only because it's a special day. I just want to strive and protect myself.

I continued to stay that way, looking down at my feet and biting my lower lip firmly, with some thoughts engulfing my mind, when someone held my hand that was on the railings. That happened so fast but was already enough for me to turn my head, to check the people on the other side riding an escalator that is going up.

I saw four men on the other escalator. One who's wearing a corporate outfit, the second one who's in a casual attire, the third one in his school uniform and the last one who's wearing a black hoodie. I can only see their backs so I have no idea who held my hand earlier.

I looked at my hand that is still holding on the railings. I inhaled heavily and shook my head. Maybe it was just an accident.

After a few seconds, we stepped out of the escalator. Chandria turned to me. She smiled at me and then held my hand. "Are you alright, babe?" she asked me.

"I am alright, Chandria..." I just lied.

To be honest, I don't feel fine anymore. I am feeling unwell that I don't want to interact anymore. I don't have the slightest energy to even make a move. I just want to take a rest and call this a day.

***

My grandmother Helga have greeted me when Chandria and I went home. The house maids also greeted me a happy birthday. They welcomed me with a warm smiles and food they served for this special day. I also noticed that there are bouquet of flowers in the living room.

My grandmother is all smiles when I kissed her cheek. Her eyes were teary and she's becoming emotional over something that I don't understand. Chandria also hugged me too. She didn't waste any time and started to bake a cake for me in the kitchen. My grandmother feels so happy and helped my best friend to prepare the ingredients she needed for her specialty.

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I let them do their thing and decided to check the flowers in the living room. My grandmother kept receiving things from different people here in Bohol that sometimes it gets so irritating.

There are Camellia flowers, Carnation, red Roses, purple Lilac and many more. All which signifies romance, admiration, love and purity. However, there is one bouquet that really caught my attention.

A bouquet of white tulips.

Who would give me this kind of flowers when I am trying to celebrate a special day? I took it and held it in my arm. I smelled it and its fragrance gave me a warm feeling. I noticed that there is a card inside of it too. Happy Birthday, N.

-vnedjs

What?

I can't help but to shake my head. Whoever sent this bouquet, I assumed he or she has a huge sense of humor. Sending a flower that is meant for apology... and what was the message all about?

The name written on the card seemed confusing too.

"Is that a white tulips, sweetheart?"

I turned to my grandmother. She's looking at the flowers in my arm. She's smiling when she looked up on me.

"Someone might have sent the wrong color of tulips, grandma..." I said but something on these flowers made me feel home that I can't even let go of it. Lola Helga laughed.

She knows a lot when it comes to flowers and I bet she's aware what white tulips are for, so am I.

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