I smiled inwardly. If I am in my normal state of mind, I will definitely scream because of the fear of getting into trouble and will run away as fast as I can but right now, I don't even have the strength to make a single movement at all. Everything is just stuck in my mind and I can't act accordingly.

I looked at the river once again. I sighed and let my tears ran down my cheeks. If that man is a bad person and would do something to hurt or kill me, maybe I would end up thanking him.

I remained in my position, spacing out as I continued to look down at the river and its rapid movement when I felt the man making a few steps.

He walked closer to me. He is not talking at all and seems to be up for silence. If he's a serial killer, he might be a good one.

He stopped right behind me. I swallowed as my tears fell once again. I can't help but to smile bitterly.

If this would be my last day in this cruel world, then I would like to remember his ruthless face for the last time... His pierced and brooding eyes, his perfectly shaped and pointed nose, and his red and soft lips... his well structured jaw and his cruel smile.

I decided to close my eyes and tried to remember his face for one last time... The face of the demon who made me this helpless.

Meeting him is the most bittersweet memory of my life and it really sucks that my heart still has the audacity to pound aggressively by just thinking of him.

Life is truly unfair.

"Just kill me," I whispered, almost pleading for him to end my agony. I opened my eyes and blinked weakly. "I have no money but... I will allow you to hurt me, or even kill me if you want. You can do what you want..."

It's funny that I am saying this right now. I am giving a possible serial killer or holdup-er a consent in order to escape from this world.

I gasped when I felt him hugging me from my back. Deep emotions started to stir with the searing pain inside my chest when he buried his head on my shoulder. Then I smelled the familiar scent that automatically sent shivers up to my spine. My hands trembled and with parted lips, I can't even say a word anymore.

I can't breathe properly as the lump in my throat became bigger. My chest tightened and an involuntary whimper escaped my lips.

I know him... I know who he is...

"W-What are you... What are you doing here?" I managed to ask with my cracked voice.

He didn't respond. I only felt his ragged breathing on my neck. He hugged me so tight and I can't do a single movement at all. The only thing I knew is that my heart is on the verge of exploding... dying...

His embrace made me feel all the emotions I kept inside of me for the longest time. With just one embrace from this man, these emotions I already buried has come back to life. And because of his presence, tears spilled over the side of my eyes...

"It's you... Evan..." I called his name softly.

I didn't know how long we stayed in this position. He's hugging me as if I am a fragile thing that would be broken anytime if he looses his grip.

I didn't know why I never uttered a single word despite the fact that I'm keeping it all in... those painful words I want to fire at him are only waiting to be voiced out.

And I didn't know why it feel so surreal. Him, hugging me from my back and here I am, looking down at the river that is rapidly moving... and both of us that giving each other the silence we both needed.

It hurts...

If there's one thing that suffocates me the most, it is no other than the pain I feel right now.

The searing pain that became more evident knowing I failed in so many things. The searing pain that has existed because of broken promises and trust that was only thrown away. The excruciating feeling of being left behind... by someone whom you never thought will abandon you... but he did.

It hurts like fucking hell...

And what's more cruel than this?

It hurts more because he's here. His unwanted presence made me so weak. He made me feel the pain I'm trying to ignore for the longest time. Now, he made me remember that I was once a woman whom he left when I needed him the most. He earned my trust but he only left me in return, and brought all these struggles and fear on me.

I closed my eyes and swallowed so hard. He's the only reason as to why these issues being faced by my family have existed.

He only caused me a damaged life. He's a living curse that should be taken out of my sight... my life.

I felt his sudden movement. He hugged me more and just like that, my body froze up. His embrace made me bite my lower lip firmly. He buried his face to my neck that I had to tilt my head unwillingly. I can feel his ragged breathing on my neck. My heart is pounding very loud inside my chest and it's deafening to the point that it seems that it's the only thing I hear at this moment but I can't do anything about it as my mind is going haywire.

To be honest, I am confused. God knows how I want to kill him for making my life miserable. I want to spit on his face to make him feel that I am truly disgusted with him. I want to yell at him and voice out all the hurtful words I've been keeping inside my chest all this time. I want him to realize how he destroyed my family... my life.

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But I also crave for peace even just for this night. I want to stay silent and call this a day. I want to remain numb and cold because that's all I could do. I want to wrap myself in a coldest ice so that I wouldn't feel anything that includes pain... sadness... indifference...

In the end, I still managed to choose the easiest thing to do. I remained silent despite the heavy emotions that already mixed up inside my chest. My gaze didn't leave the river even for a second. I let the time passed as that's the least thing I can do.

We remained in our position while the rain is pouring heavily on us.

Why is he hugging me though? Where did he get the audacity to show up in front of me? He only left me back then. He doesn't have the right to even touch me like this... I smiled inwardly. A lot of thoughts whirled through my head but I have no strength to voice it out.

I just needed the silence more than anything right now. With solemn tears still falling down my cheeks, a soft sob escaped my lips.

My heart only calmed down when he finally let go of me. I felt him making a step back, enough to put a distance between us. "You need to go home," he said in his familiar deep voice.

I can't help but to close my eyes when I heard his voice. I know I already cried a lot but hot tears formed in my eyes again.

It's just a simple sentence from him yet it feels so deadly and I can't take it.

"No," I managed to say in a firm but cold tone.

I inhaled heavily and tried my best to compose myself. I opened my swollen eyes and glanced down at the river again. My hands are still trembling because of the cold rain and deep emotions that ate me up and with just one blow of the night air, my knees started to shake.

"You will end up getting sick if you won't listen to me, Rish..." he stated carefully.

"I don't need a word from you..." I replied, still in a cold tone.

"Risha..." He called my name in a familiar way and then I heard him sigh.

I breathed deeply. After a few seconds of concentrating, my body already calmed down and I started to control the emotions I have deep within. My heart feels cold and my body feels numb. Now that I can think clearly, the only thing that runs through my head is the thought of getting away from him... to end this nightmare and have a peaceful rest for this cold night.

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I reminded myself that he's the same person who hurt me before and with that being said, I can't let my guard down.

He's still the same person who destroyed my inner peace.

Without turning or even looking at him, I started to walk out of the bridge in silence. I didn't even want to look back because I don't want to see his face. I know that he's still following me, probably making sure that I will be home safe. He didn't call my name anymore and that made me feel at ease.

I won't allow myself to be fooled twice. That's one thing I learned from the past and in a hard way.

Once is enough...

I turned to the familiar road that where our house is located and I stopped when I saw my grandmother and Chandria outside the main gate. My best friend is holding an umbrella that protects them from the rain. My lips parted when their gaze turned to me. I saw the worry on my grandmother's eyes while Chandria keeps on soothing her.

I bit my lower lip. At some point, I felt guilty as I didn't think about how my grandmother will react about what happened. I sighed and walked towards them.

"Nathalie, sweetheart!" Grandma called me in a worried tone and then she went to me.

"Nathalie!" Chandria followed my grandmother immediately so she can protect her from the heavy rain.

"My goodness, sweetheart! I am so worried about you! Why did you run away? It's dangerous outside!" grandma Helga almost cried in front of me as she held my cold cheeks. "Don't do that again!"

"I'm sorry, grandma..." I managed to say and then turned to Chandria who seems to be looking at someone on the far end of the road.

"Let's get home. You're soaking wet!" Grandma announced.

I only nodded and looked at Chandria again. Her eyes were still darted on something... or someone I guess, so I grabbed the umbrella from her hand to get her attention.

"Let's get inside, Chan..." I told her and held my grandmother on her shoulder so I can help her walk.

"N-Nathalie..."

"I don't want to talk about it, Chandria..." I snorted and eyed her darkly.

"Uhm... Alright..." she sighed in defeat.

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