Cursed Blood
56.Back in the Life.56

I leaned back in my chair, resting my hands on my stomach, which was surely bloated by now. Forgetting about being formal, the Prince mirrored my position, pastry crumbs stuck to his fingers as he patted his stomach as well. We had already gotten through our brunch, and it had taken us much longer than expected since we had both ordered a ridiculous amount.

Maybe I'm not the only one who's been down in the dumps not eating much, I thought, my friendship feelings for the Prince coming to light before I shut down again. My mouth felt dry and chalky as I looked out the window of the small shop. It was the one I'd visited before, but the old man wasn't here today. I could see down the road to the fountain where I'd fought with the 'boss' and smiled at the memory. Me just being a heroic nobody, a simple fight bringing me so much satisfaction.

"Cloud," Elijah said, fiddling with a pastry that had come out of nowhere, "we should probably talk about things. You've been holed up for a while."

I leaned my head back, contemplating the ceiling. I could still hear the sound of a fist striking my body as I did nothing, since that was the safest thing to do. The royals did nothing to stop it. With my power constantly healing me, they saw no reason to. They just let their General punish me as he saw fit for defending a servant, the man eventually letting up when he exhausted himself and his anger. He pulled away from me as I laid in a ball and spat on my face, muttering words about my lucky break with such power and magic. He then stormed away, and my brothers rushed to save me from hard Lightblood stares.

All I had felt was betrayal and hatred. I hadn't left my room the entire week, and I busied myself with regular indoor Lightblood chores. It was a numbing experience, one that brainwashed me into forgetting all about what they'd done.

Yet being numb didn't help my subconscious. I didn't trust them anymore, and I didn't trust the Darkbloods either. The entire time, Terrance had had a strange look in his eyes, which worsened when he was close to Rebecca. His words about them still being dangerous had been replaying in my mind the entire weekend, and I realized that they for sure would always be treating me different. After all, to them, I was some sacred, special being.

To the people I grew up with, however, I was a filthy hybrid.

It would be so easy to run, I thought, my eyes unfocused as I lost myself in my head, those weaklings would never catch me. That assassin has a point -- I could leave and never look back. Let them fight this war until they all end up dead.

The corner of my mouth quirked up. I love too many of them for that, now don't I.

Scornfully, I pictured the Darkbloods and Lightbloods of Mythira. Rebecca, Zen, the deaf twins, Sven, Kai. I nearly growled at the betrayal the simple thought of Lightbloods hit me with. My brothers and father. Elijah. Amara. Janora and Raeni, and the other elite warriors. Travis, Shade, Andrew. The rest of those assholes.

With a sigh, I looked down my nose at the Prince. His blond hair was swept back as if he'd been ruffling it, and I could see traces of his eyes being bloodshot. He was staring at his hands, on edge from my silence.

"If it was up to me," I eventually began, my voice hard and merciless, "I would be far, far away from Mythira. But my family lives in that castle, among those people who stood by and watched. Alongside you, who they worship as their Prince. You who decided that it was better for me to take a beating instead of defending myself. Since it was of course natural for me to be punished for saving someone from a batshit crazy woman."

He slumped into his seat, silent as if I'd stolen his vocal cords. I growled loudly, angry that he couldn't even defend himself. Power swirled in my veins as I got to my feet, beginning to walk away.

"Cloud, please," Elijah blurted, but out of the corner of my eye, I knew he remained seated.

Not even worth standing, Princeling?

"No, Your Highness," I spat, "just leave me be."

I looked over my shoulder, barely keeping my wings inside. "I'll serve your mother like I'm meant to, but I won't be happy doing it. I'll do every mission and nothing more, except for what I want. Which includes replaceing out what I am, without you.

"Because it's not like anyone has been honest with me," I finished, thinking of all the people who had told me stories of what a Cursedblood was, or given me vague hints of what I was meant to be. Even those who were trying to lead me to the answers -- they made me frustrated. They could just... Tell me! Is that so hard to ask? I wondered, turning away from the Prince. Others had begun to recognize him and stared at me as if I was a heathen, disrespecting their Prince without a care. I strode toward the door, leaving him in his seat with a frown.

Outside, I paused to bask in the sunlight. It was almost the afternoon, and despite my anger, going out had pushed me closer to my normal self. There were no more chores for me to do holed up in my room, I was back and ready to get some real work done - for myself.

The scholars I met at the ball, they can help me. I just have to replace them first and convince them.

I started walking, brushing past several Lightbloods. For once I felt normal, walking down the street in a simple dress with my hair sticking to my neck in sweat as I remained deep in thought. No one stared, no one was there to judge. It was like I'd traveled back to when I was just a girl being raised on a farm with her rowdy brothers and loving parents. Before we'd been attacked and my mother turned on me. Before my brother had been taken and I had become something more than a girl happy to take over some farmland.

If only, I thought with a wry smile, stopping at the base of Mythic Mountain. More than half of my conciousness was telling me to turn back and run, but the little rationality I had left took over and I began walking, ever so slowly, up the path.

Straight to into the source of my misery.