Daemons
Chapter 11

Mentions of Suicide

Dream let out a groan as he slowly came to, blinking at the bright white that surrounded his vision. White... heaven? Heh, didn’t think someone like me would ever end up in a place like that. But the possibility of his location being some sort of afterlife quickly vanished as his vision focused to reveal a room... Cross’ room. He’d been in here before, often with some of his friends and usually either Cross or Geno. But nobody was here, only an empty room with him in his crush’s bed.

But... how was he here? Dream didn’t get it, he should be dead, not continuing to be a burden for those he cared about. Part of him wanted to be flustered about how he was literally in the bed of the person he’d been crushing on for over a year, though most of his thoughts were too jumbled and confused as they tried to figure out what was happening. Maybe this was his afterlife? It seemed hard to believe, but then again so did the fact that he was alive and breathing when he clearly remembered hitting the water.

Though, there was the sight that met him mere seconds before the impact had knocked him out. Another skeleton, one he’d never seen before, falling just above him and reaching out as if to stop him from plunging into the river. He hadn’t seen them beforehand, meaning that for some reason they’d jumped in after him. And they looked so dashing, like some sort of hero... no, focus! Why were they there? Why did they jump in after him? Were they okay? What the hell happened?!

“You’re awake.” A familiar voice startled him out of his own thoughts, bringing the golden skeleton’s gaze up to the door to see Cross. The monochrome skeleton looked like he hadn’t slept all night, dark bags under his sockets as he leaned against the door frame. Dream couldn’t even begin to guess what the taller was feeling, as his tone and expression gave absolutely nothing away.

All he could give for an answer was a quick nod, as he still had no idea what was going. Seeing this, Cross’ expressionless mask seemed to crack a bit as he sighed, crossing the room in a few strides. That mask broke completely as the monochrome skeleton threw he arms around the smaller and let out a shuddering sob. “Thank god, I was afraid you wouldn’t wake up,” he whispered, tightening his hold as if Dream might disappear if he let go.

“I... Why would you care about me?” Dream squeaked out, not returning the gesture out of confusion mixed with heartbreak. He should be happy right? Cross cared about him, otherwise he wouldn’t be so emotional. Then why did it hurt so much right now?

The taller skeleton pulled back at his question, his relief switching to concern as he moved to cup Dream’s face instead. “You... seriously thought that I wouldn’t care about you? Dream, if this is about how I reacted to your confession, I’m so sorry. I was stressed because of Geno and the whole mess, and I took it out on you in a way I shouldn’t have. I didn’t know your feelings were really like that, I thought that your confession was somehow tied to the chaos going on or what had Geno so worried about you. But I didn’t know how bad things were with you, and I handled it so horribly. I’m so, so sorry, I just can’t believe that what I said to you was enough to push you to consider suicide.”

Consider? So that meant he really wasn’t dead. He’d somehow survived his jump off the bridge, and had ended up in Cross and Geno’s apartment. “W-Why am I still alive?” Dream whispered, replaceing it hard to accept that his efforts to free the others of the burden of dealing with him failed so miserably. “Seems I can’t even die right.”

A crack sounded through the otherwise quiet room, the golden skeleton taking a moment to register the pain in his cheek from where he’d been slapped. “Don’t talk like that!” Cross snapped, looking like he was about to cry despite the furious snarl. His hands latched onto Dream’s jacket, holding it tightly to prevent him from moving away. “Don’t talk like your life has no meaning, or like you’re better off at the bottom of that fucking river! Do you have any idea how worried about you everyone is, how worried I am?! I couldn’t even fucking sleep last night after getting you back here, not until I knew you’d wake up! Hell, Geno was literally sick with worry over you last night, your selfish decision nearly landed him back in the hospital! He still hasn’t woken up either for the record!” A few stray tears rolled down the taller’s cheeks as his grip on the other’s clothes tightened, Cross looking like he was barely holding back from hitting him again.

Selfish? No, no he wasn’t being selfish, he was trying to help everyone! And yet he somehow made it all worse again. He could already hear the beginning of the voices coming back, clawing at the edges of his psyche and threatening to drown him in noise just like the night before. “I... I made Geno sick? I-Is he okay?” Of course he wasn’t, his friend was bedridden and had yet to wake up from whatever happened to him last night! No matter what he did, he only caused more pain for those he cared about. That realization only served to send a couple tears rolling down his face, a small whimper coming out of his throat as a feeling of uselessness consumed him.

Cross looked over at the sound he made, his anger quickly fading and being replaced with panic. “Shit! Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset, I...” The monochrome skeleton let out a sigh and rubbed his hand down his face before sitting next to Dream on the bed and throwing an arm around him. “I’m sorry, I’m not the best at this kind of stuff. Geno’s always been better at dealing with emotions than me, though after the way I handled your confession I guess that’s pretty obvious. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling right now, or how to make sense of everything I am feeling. I’m angry and upset, I’m relieved and happy, but most of all I’m worried about you. I listened to the voice message you left on your phone, and let me tell you that was painful. You seriously thought that we’d be better off without you?”

The smaller let out a sniff before nodding his head, not even trying to hide behind a lie or false smile as it clearly wouldn’t work right now. His suicide attempt and that message had laid everything bare, there’d be no chance of him hiding anymore. Cross let out another sigh, tightening his hold and pulling the golden skeleton a bit closer. “Now I see why Geno’s been so worried about you recently, he’s been trying to figure it out for a while now. Guess if you could hide it from him, it’s no wonder why none of the rest of us ever recognized what you were going through. Dream, I don’t know what it’ll take to get it through to you, but we all care about you, we love you. I know Lust and I snapped at you last night, and we both feel horrible about it for not trying to see things through your eyes. Blue wouldn’t stop crying when I told him what happened, and Ink managed to catch wind of it and has been beside himself with worry. Last I heard Sci stayed the night with them at Blue’s place to try and help them, but everyone was scared you wouldn’t wake up. Please, I don’t know what any of us would do if we lost you, I don’t even want to think about it. Pretty sure the only one out of all of us that got some sleep was Geno, and that certainly wasn’t by his choice. Don’t you see? No matter what might happen, no matter how many times you forget things or if someone gets mad at you, it would always be so much worse if you just suddenly weren’t there anymore.”

There was no doubt in Dream’s mind how true those words were, how heartfelt they were. That tone of voice, the gentle touch of Cross holding him close, it made his friend’s feelings crystal clear to him, even more than the words did. It was more than enough to get through to him, to fill him with a sense of love and friendship. He’d almost thrown all this warmth away, and for what? To make them all suffer more? Geno was sick, none of them had slept, and he even dragged that stranger that jumped in after him down as well. What the hell was wrong with him? The tears that had been steadily building burst forth, the golden skeleton unable to contain them any longer as all the grief, regret, everything washed over him. He threw his arms around Cross in earnest, burying his head in the taller’s shoulder while his entire body shook from the emotional sobs he let out.

While the monochrome skeleton seemed a little taken aback by the sudden emotional shift, he hugged back regardless. The pair shifted on the bed to make their embrace easier, Cross rubbing small circles into the crying skeleton’s back as a few of his own tears leaked out. In between his gasps for air and his heart wrenching cries, Dream continuously blubbered out apologies as he clung to his friend. “It’s okay Dream,” Cross soothed, his voice low and quiet by comparison. “It’ll all be okay, I promise. We’ll get you the help you need, and we’ll all work together to make sure you never consider something like that ever again. And I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say that we’re sorry we didn’t help you in the first place.”

It took Dream nearly half an hour to calm down, though he was still a sniffling mess when he finally pulled away. For once he couldn’t replace it in himself to force a smile, even though he now felt lighter than he had in over a year. Maybe it was because he no longer had to force a smile, he no longer had to force himself to be happy for his friends. He could finally destroy the mask he’d hid behind all this time.

Looking up with eyes still glassy from tears, he met Cross’ worried but caring gaze. While the lack of Dream’s own smile seemed to pull at Cross’ features a bit, highlighting just how worried he was of losing the golden skeleton, the taller still managed a small smile of his own, keeping one hand on the golden skeleton’s back for support and comfort. “Look, I know what I said last night was stupidly harsh, and I hate the fact that I pushed you to even consider taking your life, I honestly hate myself for that. But while I can’t return your feelings, and feel guilty for leading you on for so long, I do still want you to be my friend. I completely understand if you don’t want that...”

Cross’ words were cut off as Dream once again held him close, this time returning the comfort and preventing him from finishing that sentence. “Don’t... just don’t. It... will probably take me some time to get over you, I mean to be completely honest you were my first crush, but you were my friend before I ever had any of those feelings for you. My life just wouldn’t be the same, it wouldn’t be right without you and everyone else. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you have to hate yourself, but know that my choice wasn’t your fault.” If he was going to abandon that fake smile forever now, then he might as well let everything out into the air as much as he could. They’d help him, make sure he healed right and would never consider suicide again. He didn’t want to die, not when he’d lose the chance to make everything right with his friends, to hang out with them and genuinely laugh and smile. They were the only ones that seemed capable of keeping his darkest thoughts away, he didn’t want to lose his beacons of light and be forever lost in darkness.

There were certain things he couldn’t tell them yet, but if he was at least more open with the truth, then maybe things wouldn’t get this bad again. “I don’t want you to blame yourself, not when this problem goes back long before I met you. This... it all started with my parents, they’re honestly the ones to blame for this.” As he felt the taller tense beside him and saw him open his mouth, the golden skeleton was quick to interject. “You don’t need to go hunting for them, they’re already dead! They... were murdered about eight years ago, though I guess their damage didn’t disappear with them. They were abusive to me and my brother, treating us like we were worthless or mistakes. They were the ones that drove my brother to run away after they died, as he couldn’t bear to be anywhere near them or any reminders of them... including me. That loneliness, it ate away at me, made me think I was to blame for my family being gone. I still blame myself for my parents’ death, and I guess that only added to how messed up I got.

“Things got better when I met Ink and Blue though, and with them I slowly met Lust, Sci, and then you and Geno. You all helped more than I realized to keep that darkness away, but something must’ve changed that let it get the better of me. And once it did, I guess it started twisting everything around, making me think that I was hurting you all and that my constant mistakes were making you all start to hate me... that you’d honestly be better off without me.” Dream hadn’t realized he’d started crying again until a stray drop landed on his gloved hand. He went silent as he rubbed at his eyes, trying to stop the flow of tears.

Cross had been silent the entire time Dream was talking, not interrupting him once beyond his initial attempt to do so. Now he seemed to be struggling to replace the words to respond with, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he gave up with a sigh and instead puller the smaller close again. “Your parents were wrong,” he said after a moment of silence. “You’re not a mistake, far from it, and you’re definitely not worthless. You’re a selfless, kind hearted person that didn’t deserve whatever the hell your bastard parents did to you. And trust me, if they weren’t dead already I’d certainly fix that if you say that they’re the ones to blame for the pain you’re in now. People like them should be burning in hell,” he growled, tightening his grip slightly in a protective manner. “I swear, the worst things always happen to the best people. Sorry, I’m probably not as much help as Geno would be, like I said I’m not good at this shit.”

The golden skeleton shook his head at the other’s declaration, sending him a genuine yet small smile. “You’re better at it than you think. It’s... helped a lot actually, helped drive home how messed up and wrong my thoughts are.”

“Still don’t like the way that sounds,” Cross complained, gently rubbing the top of Dream’s skull. “I don’t like hearing you beat yourself up like that, it’s still way too negative for my liking.”

The smaller leaned into the gentle affection, feeling a slight pang of heartbreak knowing that he’d never be comforted by Cross as his lover but pushing it aside. “Well... I’ll try to change it.” A comfortable silence followed his words, the two friends staying close to offer each other comfort despite how both were physically and emotionally exhausted. It gave Dream a chance to think, inevitably replaying the events of last night that almost cost him his life. “Hey Cross?” A small hum answered him, said skeleton turning his gaze towards him to show that he was listening. “How am I still alive?” Looking back, he’d unintentionally gone to Suicide Street... or maybe his subconscious had already decided he wanted to die and led him there. Regardless, that place was notorious for how effective it was for letting people kill themselves, making Dream wonder how he’d survived when he definitely did jump and did hit the water.

Once again the monochrome skeleton stiffened, showing a clear discomfort when it came to the question asked. “I... I honestly don’t know,” he responded, his tone making it clear he really didn’t know. “By the time Geno figured out where you’d likely gone, it was too late to stop you from jumping, not unless you’d spent over half an hour considering it. When I was heading there regardless, I called your phone one more time to hopefully get an answer, only for some stranger to pick up and direct me to where you were. By the time I got there, you were unconscious on the river shore, your soaked clothes making it clear you did in fact jump. But you were breathing and didn’t seem to have any major injuries, other than the fact that your magic levels were insanely low. You jumped, you hit the water, and somehow you survived. The stranger never told me what he did, if he even did anything, so I really don’t know. Sorry, wish I could be more help.”

So that stranger really did save his life. Whoever he was, he somehow survived the fall and managed to save him. “Did... you get his name? Or any way to get a hold of him?”

“Yeah actually, his name’s Killer. Seems like a nice guy despite the name, but then again I barely know him. And if you wanna talk to him, he slept on my couch last night, refused to leave until he was sure you were okay.”

The stranger had stayed over to make sure he was okay? He didn’t know why, but the thought got his soul beating just a bit faster, the golden skeleton having to struggle to keep color from flooding his cheeks from the gesture. “Well... I guess I should let him know I’m okay.” But saying that aloud, it reminded him that there was someone that he needed to make sure was okay for himself first. “Um... would I be able to check on Geno first?”

While Cross did seem hesitant at first, almost seeming to be arguing with himself over the right course of action, he eventually did agree. “Alright, I should wake him up for something to eat and to check on him anyways.” He pulled the smaller to his feet, having to immediately catch him as Dream’s legs buckled almost as soon as there was pressure placed on them. “You sure you’re okay though? Maybe you should get a bit more rest; that fall probably did more damage than I noticed.”

Dream glared down at his shaky legs, not liking the general feeling of weakness that seemed to be rooted in his bones at the moment. “Well you did say my magic levels were really low, that’s probably what’s causing my legs to be so shaky. I should be fine if I don’t move around too much, and I promise to get some rest later, but I really need to see that Geno’s okay.” Despite how physically weak he felt, his desire to check on his sick friend burned brightly in his eyes, too bright for Cross to refuse.

“Alright, if you say so, but I’m not letting you walk around today,” the monochrome skeleton relented, sweeping Dream off his feet literally and into his arms. The smaller let out a squeak and felt his cheeks grow warm as he grabbed hold of Cross’ shoulders to stabilize himself. Once he was secure, Dream was carried out of Cross’ room and down the hall to Geno’s. He definitely didn’t miss the fact that the door was locked, watching as Cross managed to shift the smaller skeleton to one arm and pull out a set of keys with another. It was likely the result of Killer staying overnight, as Cross was notoriously protective of Geno and definitely wouldn’t let a stranger anywhere near him while he was resting and recovering.

As they entered Geno’s room, Dream looked to his friend with an almost sick feeling in his nonexistent gut. He’d caused this, even if hurting his friend had never been his intention he’d still done it. Were it not for the breathing mask, the remnants of blood, or how heavy he was breathing, the scarfed skeleton would’ve seen like he was simply peacefully asleep. But Dream knew better, whimpering quietly at the look of pain on his friend’s face.

From the way the arms holding him tensed, he could tell that Cross was worried, though whether it was for Geno, himself, or both of them he couldn’t tell. “Are you sure you wanna talk to him right now? You could both get some more rest and talk later you know.” While his voice was quiet to avoid disturbing his sleeping brother, it was heavy with concern for what Dream now suspected to be both of them.

“I’ll be fine Cross, please.” If Geno was like this out of worry for the golden skeleton, then he figured that talking with him would help alleviate the stress that was definitely not good for him.

Sighing but giving a nod, the taller moved his weaker friend into the bedside chair before moving to gently shake his brother awake. “Geno, I know you’re sleeping, but there’s someone here to speak with you,” he whispered, not wanting to jolt him awake for fear of making things worse.

A groggy groan reached them as the scarfed skeleton’s eye squeezed shut even tighter, trying to stay asleep despite the efforts to rouse him. When those efforts didn’t stop, Geno’s eye eventually relaxed before fluttering open. It took a few blinks before his vision seemed to focus, his gaze drifting from the ceiling to his brother smiling beside him. “Hey Gen, sorry for waking you up, but you have a guest.” He gestured over to Dream sitting at the opposite side of the bed.

The golden skeleton waited patiently for Geno’s tired gaze to shift from one side to the other, smiling at him just as widely as Cross had when their gaze finally met. The bedridden skeleton seemed to get a sudden burst of energy upon seeing his friend, his eye now wide open as he shifted in bed. “Dream!” He called out excitedly, his voice muffled a little bit by the breathing mask strapped to it. His efforts to get closer though resulted in a seemingly painful coughing fit, Cross immediately flying into action as he pulled Geno back down into bed and adjusted the pillows so that he was somewhat sitting up.

“Easy there Gen, you had a bad episode last night, remember? We both know you won’t be back to full strength for a couple days. Just relax and take it easy, okay? I don’t wanna be carrying you to an ambulance again.” While he let out a small whine from being put back in bed, Geno did nod his head at his brother’s words and settled down into his bed, allowing Cross to adjust the covers and pull them up to snugly cover his chest. “Okay, I’ll leave you two to talk for a bit, but when I come back with food you two are eating and going straight back to bed. You both need your rest.”

As Cross left the pair be for the time being to make some food for all of them, Geno turned his attention to his friend, this time making no attempt to crawl out of bed. “You’re okay, I was so worried that you’d do something...” His voice trailed off as Dream averted his gaze, ashamed of his actions last night and the far reaching consequences they’d had that he never would’ve even considered. “You... you did jump, didn’t you?”

The pain and heartbreak in his friend’s voice was far too much for him to manage, making him flinch and turn his gaze back. “Y-Yeah... I did,” Dream confirmed, already feeling tears building at the corners of his sockets.

He caught sight of Geno’s frown before he turned away once again, hating how painful this was and how afraid he was that this was a bad mistake; that he might only upset both of them by admitting the truth and in turn cause Geno even more pain and suffering, possibly landing him in the hospital. “But you’re okay though, right?” The words that answered his guilty admission held no malice or anger, not accusatory in the slightest. Turning back once more he saw the scarfed skeleton calmly smiling at him, a hand outstretched in case he needed to take it. “Just tell me that you’re okay and have no intentions of ever doing something like that again, please. That’s all I need.”

Dream latched onto Geno’s outstretched hand, tears once again pouring from his eyes at the gentle words. What did he ever do to deserve such caring and helpful friends? “I-I p-promise, n-never again,” he blubbered out, tightening his grip on the other’s hand as if to accentuate that. “A-And I’m okay... I think, a little weak right now but some rest should fix that.”

The scarfed skeleton nodded, seeming to understand his explanation and accept his promise. “I hope you know that all of us are gonna hold you to that. Don’t think any of us want that scare again.” They both giggled a bit, trying to enjoy the lighthearted threat, though Geno did have to stop early as his giggles triggered a coughing fit. “Well, I’m assuming Cross already gave you some sort of speech about how everything would get better and how we’d all help you?” He asked the golden skeleton once he recovered, receiving a nod in exchange. “Okay good, and he didn’t mess up like he did last night, did he?” His friend seemed to relax a bit once Dream shook his head no. “Okay good, because if he’d screwed up again as royally as he did last night, then he would’ve been getting his ass kicked regardless of whether I’m stuck in bed for the next while.”

Suddenly Geno’s expression turned far more serious, mirroring the one from last night when he confronted the other and catching Dream off guard once again. “Well then, he’s given the speech, and now we need to figure out how to back it up and make sure this doesn’t happen again. So I need you to tell me the truth. What issues led to your current mental state, what are the typical symptoms of your depression, and are there any warning signs that you know of for more suicidal thought patterns?”

Those questions made the golden skeleton blink a couple times before shrinking away. “D-Do you really need to know? I-I mean I already made you sick, I d-don’t wanna be responsible for your health getting worse.”

“Dream I’ll be fi-”

“You can’t say that! You don’t know! Look at how you were after helping Sci or Lust! You were in the hospital for over a week because you pushed yourself too hard! I don’t want to be the cause of you getting even sicker because you tried to help me, it’s the reason why I’ve stayed so quiet about it!” Dream snapped back at him, tears pricking the corners of his sockets as his chest heaved slightly. He wouldn’t hurt Geno in order to maybe be able to get better, it wasn’t worth it.

His outburst left his friend wide-eyed, staring at him as he slowly began to cry. “Oh Dream, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Feeling guilty for his outburst potentially upsetting Geno, Dream turned away and looked at a random spot on the floor while he tried to get his tears under control. That gave his friend plenty of time to apparently come up with a solution. “Okay, how about this? Since you promised me that you wouldn’t ever consider suicide again, I’ll promise you that I won’t make myself sick trying to help you like I ended up doing with Lust and Sci. Does that sound fair?”

Wiping at his tears, Dream had to admit that the deal sounded pretty fair, and since he honestly didn’t trust either of them to keep their promises on their own, maybe the two of them could keep each other in check. So he hesitantly agreed with another nod. “I guess if you promise you won’t get sick... I really don’t want to hurt any of you because of my problems, but I also don’t want to be a burden...” He trailed off, still lacking the confidence in this course of action to be willing to spill on what he’d kept bottled up inside him for so long.

Geno sighed, looking to his conflicted friend with a warm smile. “If you were going to be a burden, I wouldn’t have asked. I’ll spare you any grand speeches since you probably got enough of them for the day from Cross, but I really do want to help, I want to see you smile genuinely, no more hiding behind a fake smile.”

All it took was one look to his friend and that smile of his to relent with a sigh. “Honestly, I don’t know how you’re so good at this, all you need to do is flash that smile and I’m pretty sure any of us would give you whatever it is you’re asking for.”

“The perks of being crippled?” Geno joked, the statement catching Dream by surprise so much that he practically choked on his laughter, resulting in a strange snort. The both of them burst out laughing as his cheeks burned gold from the embarrassing sound. “Besides, since Cross is complete ass at talking to people, one of us has to at least be decent.” That only made Dream laugh harder, clutching his sides and rolling into a ball, silently laughing at the jab at Geno’s brother.

When the laughter died down once again and Dream had caught his breath enough to uncurl himself from his little ball and sit up straight again, he turned his attention to the questions Geno asked him earlier. He took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves, only to look down and see that his friend had once again offered him a hand to hold for comfort. Gratefully taking it, Dream gave the scarfed skeleton a quick squeeze and a shaky smile before getting into it. He told him the exact same story he’d told Cross earlier that morning about where his mental health issues started, replaceing it a bit easier to tell the second time and less upsetting.

The other two questions were harder, as he’d never even considered his condition to be depression. He even said as much to Geno, who didn’t seem surprised. “Depression is a complex mental health issue because it affects everyone that suffers it differently. There are a few common symptoms though that I noticed in you, namely your memory problems. Judging from the fact that this has been going on for longer than we’ve known you, your typical forgetful nature could actually be a symptom of your recurring depression.”

“Wait, really?” The golden skeleton asked, pleasantly surprised by that one. “So if you help fix me, I’ll stop forgetting to head out the door with pants on?”

Geno giggled a bit before shaking his head. “I honestly don’t know. You might be forgetful by nature and the depression is just exacerbating that fact, or it could be completely unrelated. But I feel like there’s a pretty good chance in us reducing how forgetful you are now that we know what the problem is. So yeah, you might stop wandering outside in your underwear, though I’d still expect you to forget your assignments occasionally.” Well, it was definitely better than nothing, and helped encourage him to keep going.

“Well, you wanted to know what symptoms I experience that I know of. Now, don’t freak out about this, but I... hear voices, in my head. Each of them is different, and seems to have a preferred way of insulting me or my decisions and actions. There’s only one though that I’m really scared of... I only started hearing it yesterday, but... it was the voice that told me to kill myself. It sounded so sweet and inviting, but at the same time almost poisonous. The first two times it told me to kill myself or die, I was scared but didn’t want to listen to it. I even considered telling you at that point, but I was afraid that you’d immediately drop everything to help me and end up collapsing when you just got back out of the hospital. But I guess when I heard it last night, I was already at such a low point from the other voices screaming at me, and the new voice made them all stop. It made me feel like jumping was the only way to finally be free of the voices and the pain that I’d caused everyone.”

He hadn’t realized that he’d spent pretty much that entire explanation staring at his hand that was holding Geno’s, only now looking up to meet his friend’s worried gaze. Pressing his lips together to keep from crying or screaming or any of the number of things he could feel his body wanting to do, he forced himself to look his friend in the eye and wait to hear his response. “I... never would’ve guessed Dream. I’m sorry, I wish I figured it out sooner and could’ve helped-”

“Geno no, you promised me you wouldn’t worry yourself into a hospital bed. I did absolutely everything I could do to keep the truth from you anyways, so it’s not your fault. But... you know now, so please, help me make them go away.” He could already feel them crawling back to the front of his mind, wanting his friend to keep them from overtaking him again.

Coward! You couldn’t deal with it on your own so you dragged one of your best friends into your problems, some friend you are!

You really think you can make us go away? We’re a part of you Dream, you’ll never be rid of us!

The golden skeleton squeezed his sockets shut as they started attacking him again, struggling to block them out before that voice could come back. It only ever seemed to show up when the others were already there, and he didn’t want that to happen.

“Dream? Are you okay?” He shook his head no to his friend’s worried question. No, he was definitely not okay. “Is it the voices?” He nodded yes, a whimper escaping him as the mocking laughter in his skull grew in volume. “What are they saying?”

“They’re calling me weak and pathetic for asking for help. They say that they’re a part of me and they’ll never go away. They’re laughing at me.”

“Look at me Dream,” Geno commanded, using the tone of voice that made him impossible to ignore. The golden skeleton reluctantly opened his teary eyes, staring at his friend and the stern glare he had. “I need you to ignore them, focus on me instead.” He went to complain, but was cut off before he could say a word. “I know it’s hard, but I need you to try, okay? Those voices are preying on your insecurities and your fears, so fixing that is how we make them go away. And I promise you, we’ll make sure they go away. You’re not pathetic or weak or whatever they’re calling you. If anything you’re strong Dream. It takes courage to admit that you can’t manage something on your own, it takes strength to ask a friend for help. And that’s what friends are for, we’re there to laugh with you during your highs, and help pull you out of your lows. You’re strong Dream, stronger than most. I just can’t wait for the day when you can see it for yourself.”

I’m... strong? Dream thought to himself, replaceing it hard to believe after so many years of his own mind telling him otherwise. And yet, despite how little he believed in those two words, the thought seemed to almost push back at the voices. They were complaining, calling him an idiot for even trying to believe something that ‘clearly wasn’t true’. But at the same time they were quieter, as if they were scared of those words. I’m strong, he thought to himself once again, this time with more conviction, only to smile a bit as the voices almost seemed to retreat deeper into his mind. I trust Geno, he’s never steered me wrong before, and only wants what’s best for me. So if he thinks that I’m strong, then I must be. The screams coming from the voices, their taunts and insults that contradicted his friend’s words, all seem to fade to become little more than white noise at the edges of his conscious mind. It... made him actually feel strong for the first time in as long as he could remember.

“I take it from that smile that some of what I said got through to you?” The scarfed skeleton’s voice snapped him out of his own thoughts and served to pull Dream back to reality, his smile only growing from there as he nodded his head. Geno returned the smile with one of his own, looking a little more at ease. “I’m glad to hear it. And I promise that the more we work on it, the better it’ll get. Hopefully moving forward you’ll never have to hear Shattered again.”

Dream shot him a strange look, clearly not knowing what his friend was talking about. “What do you mean by Shattered?”

“Ah, that’s the nickname I gave to that voice you said you were afraid of, short for Shattered Dream. I figured that it kind of made sense, as that voice essentially represents the part of your psyche that’s given up hope, the part of you that’s been essentially shattered from everything you’ve had to go through. I can change it though if you want.”

“No, no I think it makes sense,” Dream assured, replaceing it actually really fitting and poetic in a way. That voice was the culmination of all of his negative and self-hating thoughts that had led him to that bridge, the thoughts that had almost shattered him physically.

Geno nodded and smiled at him, squeezing his hand back that the other was still holding. “Alright, so here’s what I’m thinking. For now we’ll keep the voices between us, as I understand that it’s a really personal thing for you. I won’t force you to tell the others, you can tell them when you feel comfortable or not tell them at all, but I won’t ever say a word to anyone about it. And if you start having any issues with them and you need my help, just say that Shattered’s friends want to visit you. That way we can keep this our little secret for as long as you want. And if you ever hear Shattered’s voice, then I don’t care where, when, what, I want to know. If you can’t tell me, then tell someone you need help, but don’t ever try to ignore that voice, or you might replace yourself at risk of breaking your promise to me. Does that sound like a plan?”

“Yeah, that sounds good to me,” the golden skeleton confirmed, already feeling a little more confident about tackling his problems now that he knew he had Geno’s support and everyone else’s too. He figured that their little warning system they just devised would be in addition to therapy and support, and he was willing to go to it. He never wanted to replace himself at the bottom of that dark pit ever again.

The pair of skeletons talked a bit more, the conversation steering away from last night for the most part and towards happier things. It was pleasant and relaxing, and thankfully Cross chose that time to come back in the room with two plates with bacon and scrambled eggs... and some piece of paper tucked under each plate.

Both Geno and Dream shared a look with each other before taking their plates and the pieces of paper. Turning it over, Dream let out a gasp as he realized it was the ticket to Lust’s performance that was tomorrow evening. And looking over, there was Geno holding his ticket. It was a little bent at the one end, but was otherwise intact. “When you ran off last night, I grabbed your bag that you left behind. Hope you don’t mind, but since I couldn’t sleep last night I went through your bag looking for the ticket. Turns out both tickets ended up slipping into a little pouch near the bottom. They both got a little bent from being squished at the bottom, but they... Dream are you okay?” Cross cut himself off to look worriedly to their now crying friend, who was hugging the piece of paper to his chest and slowly sobbing.

It took him a moment to compose himself enough to not be constantly hiccupping and sniffling while trying to speak, uncurling from around the ticket to look to the two worried brothers. “Y-Yeah, I’m f-fine. I just t-thought that I’d screwed up last n-night and there was n-no w-way to fix it. I-I can’t believe you found them, thank you s-so much.”

The monochrome skeleton let out a sigh before smiling, coming over to gently rub the top of the smaller’s head. “No problem buddy, glad I could do something to help. Now, you promised me that you’d eat when I came back and then go back to bed. After all you’re both going to need your strength for tomorrow night. Oh, and when you’re finished Dream, that Killer guy really wants to talk with you if you’re okay with that. Dude honestly looked like a lost puppy when I told him you were eating then going back to bed.”

Dream had almost forgotten about Killer, the person who saved him last night. So Cross got a fervent nod from one skeleton and a look of confusion from the other. “I’ll explain later,” the taller told his brother, who seemed to accept that and started eating. The golden skeleton followed suit, wanting to finish quickly so that he could meet the skeleton that so bravely jumped in after him. He even needed a couple comments from Cross to slow down so that he wouldn’t choke, practically inhaling the food at some points to be done faster.

Geno was already starting to fade by the time they both finished eating, Cross fussing over him as always as he helped him with his meds and got him back into bed. The scarfed skeleton waved and gave Dream a sleepy goodbye as the golden skeleton was once again picked up and carried out of the room. He had a slight frown though as he was brought back into Cross’ bedroom and set on the bed. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to keep using your bed? You look really tired, and I don’t want to be a burden.”

The monochrome skeleton looked to him for a moment before quickly hugging him. “You’re not a burden and you never will be, so please don’t think that you are. Besides, I fully intend to kick Killer off my couch right away. He got sleep last night, so it’s my turn now.” The two laughed a little bit as the taller skeleton pulled away, pulling the covers up around Dream’s waist but not forcing him to lay down. “I’ll go let him know you want to talk now, and steal the couch back in the process.”

As Cross left, it wasn’t long before another skeleton showed up at the door to take his place. This one was quite different though, with black tear-like streaks running down his face from his voided sockets and a black leather jacket paired with dark jeans that gave him a much more ‘bad boy’ vibe than Cross had. It made the sweet smile on his face seem almost out of place, and yet more genuine at the same time. “Hey, I’m so glad to see that you’re awake now. You had me pretty worried there for a while,” he said as he came inside, closing the door behind him to give them some privacy. Not like Cross would come barging in on their discussion, as the poor guy looked tired enough to sleep until next morning. The new skeleton came over and set himself on the bed in front of Dream, never dropping that smile that made him look like the happiest guy in the world. “Oh, guess we never officially met, even though I’m pretty sure we both know each other’s names by now. So let’s make it official! The name’s Killer.” He held his hand out excitedly in front of Dream, not seeming embarrassed in the slightest by the dorky introduction.

The whole thing just made Dream giggle a bit as he took the outstretched hand. “Dream, it’s a pleasure to finally meet the person who for some reason jumped off of a bridge after me. N-Not that I’m not grateful or anything, it’s just, most people wouldn’t have risked their own life to save a stranger. Still, thank you for saving me from arguably the biggest mistake of my life.”

“Oh no problem! I’ll gladly jump off a bridge any day for you!” Killer happily exclaimed, clearly not realizing how bad that sounded until after he said it and Dream recoiled away from the worrisome statement.

“That’s... not something I was expecting you to say in the slightest,” he muttered, shooting the strange skeleton a worried look, wondering if he was slightly suicidal as well.

“Oh... Oh crap, that probably sounded really weird! And Reaper said you probably didn’t know...”

“Know? Know what?”

Killer paused, seemingly struggling to put whatever it was that he wanted to say into words. “Um... how do I explain this without weirding you out?” He hummed and hawed over his answer for a bit before the answer he seemed to want came to him. “Oh yeah! I’m friends with your brother! Does that make things clear?”

“My brother?” In all honesty, that only served to confuse Dream even more as he tried to figure out what the bizarre clue supposedly meant. Killer said he was friends with Nightmare, even though his brother was never one to make friends due to his nature... as a daemon... Nightmare said that he’d found some others out in the world that he was now bound to. Was it possible that Killer was one of them? He couldn’t risk blurting the word daemon out without knowing for sure though, so a test was in order, a simple phrase that a bound brother would easily know the answer to. “And so the ties that bind us bite deeper than blood, digging deep to the core,” he started, waiting to see if the other skeleton would respond with the other half of the verse.

And without missing a beat, he did just that. “May our souls forever be intertwined and the paths we walk be the same, for you and I are now family forevermore.” The taller smiled down at Dream, the golden skeleton watching part of his form start to change. “Never knew how much power could be contained in a few little words before the binding ceremony. Was a bit creepy with all of us saying the words at once, but I can’t begin to explain to you how fulfilling it felt... almost as much as meeting you did.”

As the black pseudo flesh began to coat his bones, Dream was starting to catch on to what was going on. “You’re a daemon,” he whispered softly, placing his own hand up so that the fingertips of his hand lined up with the suction cup-like tips of Killer’s own fleshy fingers. “Guess that explains how you were fine jumping into the river, but why?” While the daemon’s words had hinted at the reason Dream was searching for, it seemed that some part of him wasn’t willing to make the jump in logic to fully understand exactly who was before him.

“Like I said, I’d jump off a bridge any day for you... only you.” Killer’s fingers, intertwined with Dream’s own, his voided sockets somehow conveying volumes of emotion despite the fact that they were empty of anything to express those emotions. They were the eyes of someone in love. “Dream... you’re my soulmate, the one being in this world that I’m meant to be with.”

Soulmate... Dream knew fully what the word meant in this context. He’d grown up watching his father dote on his mother, listened to Nightmare explain what he’d been told about the concept. A soulmate was everything to their daemon partner, more important than their own life. He’d witnessed that firsthand when his parents died, when his father had knowingly put himself in line with a fatal attack in order to try to spare his wife. And Killer was claiming that Dream was his match?

“I... I-I...” He honestly didn’t know what to say to that, looking away and rubbing at his arm. He wanted to claim that Killer must be wrong, he must be mistaken since the universe couldn’t possibly be so cruel as to give someone as broken as Dream was as a soulmate. “I’m sorry you’re stuck with such a broken and useless soulmate,” he finally said, voice becoming choked with tears towards the end. He didn’t deserve this, someone willing to devote their entire life to him and his needs.

“Broken, maybe. Useless, I don’t think so.” A set of fleshy fingers cupped his cheeks, turning his gaze back to meet the empty eyes of the skeleton sitting across from him. “You’re not useless at all. In fact, from what I’ve been told, my brothers and I owe the hunters not replaceing us so far all to you and your crazy strong magic skills. And even if you are a little broken, then I’ll help fix you. Almost anything can be fixed if given enough time and effort, which I’d be willing to put in whatever is necessary so that I never have to see you throw yourself off a bridge ever again.”

Any efforts towards holding back tears proved to be pointless after those sweet words, Dream’s fluttering soul only intensifying the emotions he felt. It wasn’t long before he felt the hands cupping his cheeks and gently brushing away the tears shift and pull away, a pair of strong arms wrapping around his shaking body in their place and holding him close. It was a bit strange to him how the hug seemed to feel warmer than any other he’d ever gotten, helping to calm him at a surprisingly fast rate.

The daemon didn’t seem to mind holding him like this, rubbing his back as his form reverted back to that of a typical skeleton and continuing to wipe at the few remaining tears that fell. “I guess this is probably a lot more to take in than I originally thought, huh? Sorry about dumping that on you, I just got so excited because I knew that you understood the whole daemon thing since you grew up with Nightmare. I just couldn’t keep from spilling the beans, even though I was told it was probably a bad idea.” He chuckled nervously a bit as he admitted to jumping the gun, continuing to hold Dream close as the smaller wasn’t complaining or pulling away. To be honest, he felt more comfortable next to Killer then he honestly should’ve considering he knew absolutely nothing about him. Maybe that was due to the fact that he was apparently Killer’s destined soulmate, meaning he was meant to feel comfortable with him no matter what.

“Oh, I have an idea!” The taller excitedly blurted out, startling Dream a bit and eliciting another apology from the daemon. “Look, I know that this is a lot to take in, and realistically the two of us don’t really know each other. So why don’t we do what some of my brothers that found their soulmates have been doing? We can hang out as friends or go on dates, whichever you feel more comfortable with at the moment. That way we can get to know each other and that might make this easier for you. And I’ll of course prioritize whatever you need in order to heal from whatever pushed you to last night. Does that sound good?”

The golden skeleton had to admit that the idea seemed way more manageable than suddenly having someone in his life that he was destined to fall in love with, especially considering a large part of him was still getting over Cross. He even explained as much to Killer, so that the taller was completely aware what the source for some of his reluctance was. It honestly surprised him how understanding and accepting of his pre-existing crush the black-teared skeleton was, nodding and offering nothing but support and understanding words. Killer even suggested that getting to know each other as friends first would probably make things easier and give him a chance to heal and move on before jumping into another relationship. The patience he seemed to have for Dream’s needs was endless, surprising the smaller with how willing he was to accommodate and even point out what he needed. He felt no rush to sort out his feelings for this stranger that was offering their entire life to him, which somehow made the seemingly insurmountable task into something he could handle.

“Thanks Killer,” Dream stated seemingly out of nowhere as all of this slowly started to sink in, a small smile on his face as he leaned tiredly against the taller skeleton. Maybe Cross hadn’t been crazy when he pretty much forced him to go to bed right after eating, he did still feel pretty weak and drained and figured that would unfortunately probably be what he felt like tomorrow as well despite Lust’s performance... that both he and Geno would be attending. That thought alone though helped him perk up and look past his current condition and the events that led to it, looking towards a far more optimistic future instead.

The taller looked down at him with a smile of his own, rubbing his shoulder before seemingly taking note of the exhaustion starting to show on his little soulmate. Shifting himself off the bed, he gently laid Dream back down into bed before pulling the covers back up over him. “For what?”

“For saving me, for being here, for being so understanding and patient and caring... for everything honestly,” he admitted, his smile growing a bit as he did so.

Killer’s smile seemed ready to split his skull in two from the sheer size of it after hearing those words. “No, I should be thanking you. Now that I’ve found you, my life finally has meaning. I get that you need time to heal and move past everything first before jumping into a relationship. So long as I get to help you heal and stay by your side, then I really don’t mind waiting a bit. But you look pretty tired right now. Why don’t you get some rest, and we can talk some more when you wake up? I’ll be right here, so don’t worry. You won’t ever be alone again.”

No, he never would. His friends and Killer would make sure of it. They’d make sure he got exactly what he needed in order to heal after all these years instead of burying his pain behind a fake smile. Moving forward, he’d one day be able to show his friends what his real smile looked like. And it seemed like he’d replace love too, not with who he expected, but someone who was willing to wait until he was truly ready to open his soul up to someone new, giving the scars he’d accumulated time to properly heal and maybe even fade a bit. Closing his eyes and sinking into the soft bed, Dream enjoyed the peaceful quiet of his mind before falling into the best sleep he’d had for as long as he could remember.