Dangerous, Diabolical
7.2

Trekking back to the ruins of my house, a smell I recognised drifted on the wind and instinctively I rolled my eyes. Of course, Grahame would choose this moment to turn up. He was standing at the opening where I should have a front door, watching me through the shambles as I approached. Clad head to toe in dark colours, a hood was pulled low over his face to conceal a brimmed hat and heavy sunglasses, his oversized hoody seemed at odds with his front-pressed work trousers.

“Where is Stan?” He demanded before I’d even entered my back door.

“Nice to see you again too.”

He growled, showing a sharpened tooth. “What have you done to him?”

I trod over broken glass to head into the kitchen, pointedly not glancing in his direction. “I can assure you, anything that happens to Leofstan is because of his own choices.” I‘d tried to warn the guy after all.

He bristled angrily. “Let me in.”

Well, at least one of the two councilmen could respect territorial boundaries. Pointing to the shattered wood, “There’s no door,” I gestured for him to let himself in.

He bared the front of his teeth. ”If you haven’t noticed, I am a vampire.” His blood-red eyes were fixed on me, face in a scowl.

“Good for you.” I encouraged. If possible, a vein bulged on his forehead.

“Vampires may not pass a threshold without an invitation.” He hissed.

The vampirism perks were quickly becoming less appealing. However, if I invited him in I could carry on replaceing some breakfast instead of trying to listen to the conversation.

With a shrug, ”Oh, Grahame, master vampire, mighty warrior. Hero of the undead, will you please oh please enter the remaining rubble of what I call home?” I asked sarcastically.

Before my next blink, I was being slammed against the wall, hand around my neck. The aroma of dried blood leaked into the room and two very sharp fangs were in front of my face. So fast! Awesome. My feet were dangling, and I made a show of placing my hands on his arm keeping my neck up. I’d rather not have a crushed windpipe.

“I am in no mood for games, little girl.” He snarled. “Your next sentence better tell me what you have done with him, or I will snap your neck.”

He could try. “Kinky.” I taunted.

His grip tightened.

As did mine on his arm.

Blood-red eyes swivelled to where my hands were ever so slowly applying pressure. I for one, did not mind playing along. If we got to arm wrestle after this, even better. Grahame tightened his grip and my breath constricted. In return, his bone began to crack. Snarling, he opened his mouth to bite.

This was it. My journey into becoming a vampire-dragon, or a Vamp-agon was going to become real! I couldn’t hide a small giggle as I prepared for the bite.

Grahame dropped me and I landed on my feet with a soft plod. Aww. So close.

His face was distorted in what I could only describe as disgust, as he held his arm, bent at an odd angle. Before my eyes it realigned, the bruise fading. Eyebrows drawn and eyes slanted he turned his attention to me.

“Why’d you stop?” I asked. “I was looking forward to being all vamped up.” A pout crept into my voice.

“No human can break bones!” He accused, taking a deep inhale. “I don’t believe you are as innocent about your nature as you claim to be. Only two-natured beings are this strong.” He realigned his hood over his hat. “Besides you cannot become a vampire from a bite.” Grahame rasped mockingly. Now that was a surprise. “Stop wasting both of our time, where is he?”

Cricking the ache in my neck and rolling both shoulders, I argued “I haven’t done anything.” It felt like it was going to be stiff for weeks. “He was the one who decided to throw a bunch of magic about and fall into a portal.”

“Your magical signature is everywhere!” He roared, hair standing on edge.

“Also, Leofstans.” I pointed out.

“Why was he throwing that amount of magic about? Was this your plan all along? To attack him once he was alone?”

“No, I planned to stay in bed.”

“Then why does it feel like a battle powerful enough to rip open reality took place out there?” He fidgeted around in his pockets. “Celandine Doukas, you are under arrest.” Grahame pulled out a pair of handcuffs, engraved with runes.

He was faster than me. I was stronger. Those handcuffs could be on my hands before I’d so much as blinked and I’d lose my chance at overpowering him, after all, who knew what those runes might do?

“Fine.” I held my palms up for him to see. “We were trying to remove this.” He noticed it straight away but didn’t react as Leofstan had. “It’s one of those Amulets he made me. It went a little wrong.”

That caught his attention.

“Leofstan’s magic never goes wrong.” In the blink of an eye, he stood next to me, hand around my wrist in an iron-clad hold.

“His spells never go wrong. He is a magical prodigy, one of the strongest beings to ever walk this plane.”

“Then why is his gem stuck in me whilst he’s somewhere in the Faelands?” I shot back.

If it wasn’t for the fact he was dead already, I think Grahame may have had an aneurysm. “He is in the Faelands?” The vampire grew statue still, colour turning about as beet-red as a vampire could manage. His grip grew tighter. “ It will be a disaster to the treaty if he is in the lands of the wrong Fae court.”

Commonly known as the Seelie and Unseelie courts, they were usually better described as the court of light and dark. Mortals had an annoying habit of categorising things into good and evil, so naturally the Court of Light was the better place to be. For the most part, it was, they had a reasonable justice system, but in terms of morals, it was still questionable.

For example, both courts would leave changelings. The practice of leaving a Fae child to be reared with human parents was widely accepted by them. The Unseelie court didn’t care much for the human they replaced, often killing it outright in place of their own. The Seelie tended to take the human child and keep them in the Fae lands, often raised as a slave.

As one would put it, you chose the best of a bad situation. The SPCC had done just that. They’d arranged a strained agreement to pass ‘safely’ through the lands owned by the Light Court. Dealing with a species that delighted in trickery was complicated. Council members falling into their portals were ensured to be returned alive, but they weren’t quite the same. They might be trapped for a few generations until the fae grew bored of them, and time passed very differently in their lands.

By the time the SPCC realised one of their own had gone astray and petitioned for their safe return, often the missing person in question didn’t want to return.

Nearly every joint in his body seemed to be popping. His mouth twitched into a frown. “I must ask the council for reinforcements.”

More SPCC crawling about the place? Great.

“If he is injured, you will be arrested as a co-conspirator in these murders.” He threw my arm out of his reach to take out his phone.

So not only did I warn Leofstan, who disregarded his own safety, I was now going to be charged for something that wasn’t even my fault. The day was just getting better and better.

I needed to get out of this situation quickly, and without much of my house left standing it was time for a change in scenery. The SPCC could descend in numbers but I planned to be on the other side of the ocean. First I needed to shake Mister Speedy here.

Smugly I grinned. “Fine. I’ll go replace him. But you owe me.” I could be the other side of the ocean, or, the other side of a portal.

Grahame scoffed. ”You think you can navigate the Fae better than the SPCC’s head of Magical Anomalies?” Disbelief flooded his voice.

I snorted. “Who? Besides, me and good old King Soirrinar are best buds. Practically invite each other to sleepovers.” I drawled. I’d met him only a handful of times in truth, but I had a feeling the Vampire wasn’t going to check anytime soon.

“You are sure he is at King Soirrinar’s court?” If a vampire’s complexion could become paler, he succeeded, giving me a rattlesnake-style hiss. “Leofstan is the head of Magical Anomalies, you fool! They will kill him!” Reflexively he took a pointless breath. “Vampires are forbidden from the Seelie courts, and The council has no treaty with the duplicitous scum of the dark courts.” Now that was a tad judgmental. Since the Fae couldn’t lie, they were the most honest folk I knew.

The sooner I found the first problematic councilman, the sooner I could ditch this one and relocate far away. “I guess what you’re saying is you’d really appreciate it if I save your pal.” And that would mean breakfast would have to wait. His top lip twitched, but his thumb still hovered over his phone buttons.

“He must be returned alive.”

“I promise to return him in whatever state I replace him.” I compromised.

“Fine.”

“Great, just great,” I mumbled under my breath as I walked back into the garden. It was all well and good saying I could replace Leofstan, but first I had to get into Faery.

Most of the time, as their least favourite thing to trap, the Fae usually masked their portals when I was near. Each time I’d fallen through I’d made sure to create as much carnage as possible. Trekking until the trees grew thick, and any signs of paths closed up I tried to replace telltale signs of doorways into the land of the Fae.

The bushes were too spindly. I wasn’t close to a stream, and the majority of foliage had dropped for the winter. Over to the left, there was a collection of emerald-green deciduous pine trees.

Bingo.

They were too perfect against the stark trunks of the foliage around them, and the grass at the base was still a deep, rich green. Approaching, a rapid flurry of whispers broke out the breeze, and the green trees began to fade.

They still weren’t too keen on me visiting. Breaking into a run, I launched myself into the clearing full pelt. Footsteps began to follow after me, an arrow whizzed past my ear. Pushing even faster, legs screaming, the trees had almost disappeared into nothing but mist. With a final jolt, knees bending, and one giant push; I dove swimming-style into the mist.

First, it was completely black and weightless. Soft glowing lights came into the surround and my conjoined hands met slab. Following the motion I rolled, ankles over head and sprung to my feet on the stone floor. A net narrowly missed the spot in which I’d landed.

“Ah, crap.” A squeaky voice whispered.

Turning to greet the welcome party I beamed at the portal guardians.

“Miss me?”

* * *