Dating the Defensive Back (The Nash Brothers Book 1)
Chapter 55

Eventually They Come Crawling Back

He’s coming home today. It’s the moment I’ve been simultaneously dreading and anticipating for two long weeks.

We haven’t spoken since he essentially ended things between us before he left. I’ve thrown myself into work over the last two weeks.

Because when I’m not working, I’m crying or dwelling on what I’ve lost.

Kelly left me the same time Grayson did, and it only worsened my chronic leave-ability condition. It showed me yet again that everyone in my life eventually leaves.

Even my friends.

To be fair, Kelly has called or texted me every day since she moved back to Louisiana. I know I’m not alone, but it does feel very much like Grayson left me at one of my lowest points. He knew my biggest fear was abandonment, and he chose to press on that fear when he left for training camp at the exact time my best friend skipped town.

And the fact that he hasn’t attempted to make any sort of contact with me since leaving only confirms how very over this is.

I’m even thinking about changing the recipe for my cookies.

I know I can’t. I know they’re the bakery’s best seller, and taking out my special top-secret ingredient will change the entire composition of the cookies.

But that’s of little concern to me when that secret ingredient reminds me so much of the man who broke my heart.

“Do you wanna come?” Cora asks. “Ava? Ava!”

“Huh?”

“To the Gridiron tonight,” she says. “Do you want to come with Dom and me?”

“Oh…no. No thanks.”

“Are you sure? Rumor has it the team gets back today from training camp, and I’m sure the hot single ones are all going to need a drink when they get back in town.” She wiggles her eyebrows and says the words as if that will be the thing that convinces me.

In reality, I’d like to stay as far away from the Gridiron as I possibly can.

“Oh, uh…I have some things I’m working on. A couple of side projects…” I keep it vague, just as I have since I got the first call for desserts after the charity ball. I haven’t admitted to Cora, Dom, Poppy, or anyone else at the bakery that I’ve been taking business on the side.

As long as I’m using my own recipes and supplies and not the bakery’s, there’s nothing stopping me. I haven’t made my famous cookies for any of my side projects, but not because I can’t.

Thanks to work and those side projects, it hasn’t been all sadness and tears. With each day bringing us closer to this one, with every moment that my phone remained silent, anger started to take root.

It burrowed its way in and held on tight as the pain and sadness shifted into frustration.

Each passing day seemed to get a little easier despite the many setbacks I had. But now that it’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard a damn word from him, you better believe I’m angry as fuck.

I realize he has been at training camp, and I know he has to focus on the game. He made that clear.

But Kelly heard from Austin.

It was just to check in and see how she was feeling, as far as I know. He didn’t get in touch with her more than two or three texts over the last two weeks.

But it’s two or three more times than I got from the guy who told me he loved me.

It’s hard to buy that he really loved me, because if he did, he wouldn’t be so easily able to cut himself out of my life. That’s what I keep going back to. Maybe it was just fun and games for him.

It was more than that for me.

But since he won’t bother getting in touch, I can’t ask.

I could call him—and I did.

Once.

I didn’t leave a message, and he didn’t call me back.

So now I’m at a point where I’m not even sure I would give him another chance if he did come crawling back.

It’s not worth smashing the little progress I’ve made to regress back into something with him when he is so unbelievably sure that we were always doomed to fail. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe we can make it with the same conviction I have.

I was so sure that we were right for each other. Now I see how blinded I was by some stupid childhood crush on a guy who never even gave me the chance to get to know who he really was.

I thought I knew him. I thought maybe I was the only one who really knew him.

But the guy I fell in love with never would’ve been able to walk away so easily.

Two of my three events are done now, and word of mouth is picking up. I did the ball for free minus my expenses, but these other events have been quite profitable.

I just need to keep saving my money and keep my focus. I’ll get to that goal…eventually. I’m more than halfway to what I think I’d need since I have a trust my dad set up for me in his will. I haven’t touched that money, but I know it’s what Beckett used for law school, it’s what Alexander used for med school, and it’s what Oliver used for his master’s degree.

As for me…it’ll be part of what I use to open my own bakery before I turn thirty.

I can do it. I have five years to save up to hit that goal, and I’m more determined than ever.

If I could just sell that damn Radiance shit, I’d be even closer.

I push those thoughts out of my head while I finish up the cake I’m decorating, and it’s just as I’m getting ready to leave for the day that my phone starts to ring.

I yank my phone out of my pocket to see who’s calling, my heart lifting with hope that maybe it’s him.

I’m not sure why I allow myself to fall into that trap. It hasn’t been him once in the last two weeks, so why the hell would it start now?

But it’s not him.

Instead, it’s someone I’m even more surprised to hear from, if that’s possible.

It’s my mother.

I finish the cake, say my goodbyes quickly, and rush out to my car to call her back.

“Ava, hi darling,” she answers. She sounds…more coherent than the last time we spoke. I think it was…six months ago? Before Grayson and I reconnected, for sure.

“Hi, Mom,” I say. “You called?”

“I did. I spoke with Missy Nash. She said she saw you a couple months ago and you’re dating her son now?”

“Yeah…we were,” I say softly. “Sort of. It’s over now.”

“Oh,” she says. “I’m so sorry to hear that. He always seemed like a good boy. Are you doing okay?”

“I will be.” I think. I’m not really sure, but I can’t keep going home to his house when I know it’s over. “What about you, Mom? How are you doing?”

She clears her throat. “I’m doing well. I actually joined a local group and made some friends who have been through a loss similar to mine, and through that, I met someone. We’ve been seeing each other, oh, a few months now.”

“You’re seeing someone?” I repeat. My dad died seventeen years ago. It still sounds weird to hear that she’s seeing someone.

But…good for her. Nobody should have to face this world alone.

The thought is depressing. I’m more alone than I’ve ever been. I jumped from Colin to Grayson literally overnight, and now I’m on my own.

And maybe I want to stay on my own a little while longer. Maybe this isn’t such a bad place to be.

I’m talking to my mother. And she sounds okay. Normal, even.

Maybe I’m not as alone as I thought. When one door closes and all that.

“Yes. Is that weird for you?” she asks. “It’s okay if it is.”

“No. It’s not. I’m happy for you.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? I’d love to come out to Vegas and spend some time with you. Tell you more about Thomas. Maybe even bring him out.”

“I’m totally okay, and I actually have a spare bedroom if you’d like to stay with me. My roommate just moved back home to Louisiana, so it’s just me.” Sort of. Once I move back into my place.

The house is going to feel so empty without Kelly, and just like I wasn’t sure if she could afford it without me, I don’t know if I can afford it without her.

But I’ll figure something out. Maybe I’ll get my Radiance group on Facebook going again.

Ugh.

Just the thought of hitting up my friends and family to buy all that shit has my skin crawling. Maybe I can look into other independent consultants and see if they’d like to buy some of my stock.

“Okay. I’ll be in touch. Maybe Oliver or Alexander will meet me there. It would be nice to see my kids a little more. Even hear from them a little more,” she hints. She backpedals quickly. “I know I haven’t been a very good mother to you four. I know Beckett stepped up more than he should have. And I’ve also learned that it’s not too late to fix your mistakes…if you can replace it in you to allow me to try.”

I’m wary of the promises. I don’t know who this Thomas guy is, but so far it sounds like he’s good for her. I never expected a call like this one.

It doesn’t necessarily make me feel any less alone, but it does do one important thing.

It makes me see that even if it’s easy for people to leave me, they don’t forget me. Eventually, they come crawling back.