Daughter of Dusk
Chapter Nineteen: Light in the Darkness

Years ago, Father walked with me into the room my siblings used for training at the time. It was a large room, with high, vaulted ceilings, just like the halls outside. I was excited to participate in training that day. Walking into that space with him was the first time I really felt included.

I was such a foolish child.

He placed me and my siblings on opposite sides of the room. Melinoe’s hair was long then, falling down her shoulders. Her hair has never been as long as mine, though. Nox virtually looked the same, just with a younger face; though he hadn’t fully developed his cold persona just yet.

They were twelve. I was nine.

“All right,” Father said after we got into position. “Let’s begin.”

“What are we doing?” I asked Father.

“A little fight exercise.” His mouth quirked up into a smirk as he nodded at Nox and Melinoe.

Nox shot an opaque shadow at me from across the room as Melinoe ran up to me. I didn’t have a chance to block Nox’s attack, the sharp edges of the shadow cutting my arm.

“Ow! What are you doing?”

I had time to move out of the way before Melinoe caught up to me and my blood dripped to the floor.

Father didn’t say anything, only watching with the faintest of smiles on his face.

A blow from Melinoe sent pain radiating through my back and side, but I managed to stay upright.

Suddenly, I realized what was happening.

They were using me.

“Stop!” I put my arms out.

Nox and Melinoe looked at Father with confusion.

“Would you stop if an enemy told you to? Continue.”

My eyes widened. “No, I can’t –”

Melinoe grabbed me from behind, pulling my hair back, and trapping me.

“Let go!”

A shadowy blow from Nox hit my stomach, sending my breath away, my vision blurring as I doubled over. Melinoe let me go as I lowered to the ground, tears forming in the corners of my eyes. She had some scrap of morality back then; I wish she still did.

“I taught you both to be strong, to never abandon a fight like your mother who abandoned us.” He scoffed. “How can I expect you to fight and rule this realm if you can’t even stomach fighting your half-sister?

I had heard the story of how Nox and Melinoe’s mother had abandoned them so many times before, I hardly registered it. But the rest of his words still echoed in my mind, replaceing a home deep in the darkest parts of my heart.

My fingertips tingled as I sat up, clutching my still-bleeding arm.

I wanted to fall back down to the ground and never get up again. I wanted this to be over. I wanted to run. I wanted to escape, any way I could.

I just wanted it all to stop.

Before I gave in to the darkness, a sensation on my arm caught my attention. It was almost as though . . . the pain was leaving me? That couldn’t have been right.

I lifted my hand from my arm and my eyes widened at the sight.

The broken skin was mending, coming back together, and the pain that radiated through my core lifted away as if nothing had ever happened.

My body was . . . healing itself?

Father kept a cold, dark stare on me. “No, it couldn’t be . . .”

I looked up at him, unable to contain my tears; a skill I’ve gotten better at in recent years. “C-couldn’t b-be what?” I could barely speak.

His gaze suddenly hardened as his persona darkened even more than I ever thought was possible. “Nox and Melinoe, we’re done for today. Luna, you come with me this instant.”

Being too afraid to do anything else, I followed behind him as he walked out of the room and through a corridor I hadn’t been in before. I quickly wiped my tears away as much as I could, but I couldn’t stop my eyes from watering.

He opened a small door at the corner of the hall, revealing a spiralling staircase that led downwards into the basement of the Manor.

Without a word, he started making his way down the stairs, and I followed, lest I upset him any further.

The more steps down I took, the more I was certain that the stone was somehow made of the coldest ice, sending wave after wave of chills down my spine the further I descended. It was dark, and I could barely see in front of me, so I stayed as close as I could to Father, just in case there was a possibility of me getting lost.

Finally, we reached the bottom of the stairs, where a long hallway and low ceilings greeted us. Collections of doors lined the dark stone, with no way to let light into any of what was beyond the hinges. But that was as much as I could see. More than anything was the heaviness of the space, the weight of shadows that had never seen light. Only cruel memories existed within the stone here. I felt it even then.

Father crouched to my level, but it was so dark I could barely see his face. “Do you know where we are right now?”

I shook my head with a sniffle.

“Don’t cry,” he said coldly. “These are the dungeons. This is a place where bad Shadow Wielders go. Is that what you are?”

I shook my head again.

“I agree. However, if you ever go against me again, I’m going to have no choice but to bring you here. No more library. Do you understand?”

The fear shrouded me whole, but I swallowed back my tears.

“Yes, Father.”

*

Later that afternoon, long after Soren helped me through my down spiral, a servant with dark hair that I don’t know leads me down the icy spiral staircase into the dungeon depths. I distance myself from the present, just a little bit, lest I let the fear swallow me completely like it did the last time I was here.

I hold my small collection of books close that I was able to put together, to at least give me something to do while I’m down there, to block out the uneasiness I’m almost certain I’ll feel while I’m locked away. Most of them are about Enas, but out of sheer desperation and just a hint of curiosity, I took one about compelling; or, a variety of Shadow Wielding that Nox tried to use on me earlier. One that allows someone to see into the mind of others, and, with enough strength, control their actions. It’s a terrifying concept, but perhaps I could replace a way to see into Father’s mind if I’m out of options.

Nox does have an aptitude for compelling, but he’s not strong enough to fully control someone’s actions, and he’s never been able to see into my mind. Maybe my Aether powers resisted it somehow. But I’m not sure what Father’s capabilities are in that regard, and I’m happy in that ignorance.

We reach the bottom level before I know it, and the chills and dark energy from the space almost overwhelm me, forcing me back to the present. The space is much more cramped than I remember, but perhaps that’s just because I was small then, too. Well, small-er. Everything looks so much bigger to a child. But now, it’s as though my previous fears of the walls caving in on me up above have come to fruition, getting tighter and tighter with each passing second until there’s no escape.

The servant doesn’t say a word as he leads me through the dank space, stopping once we reach a door. I’d imagine he was instructed to not say a word to me, but I’m fine with that; engaging in conversation with someone I barely know is the last thing I’d like to be doing right now, especially down here where the dark energy is so strong.

He ushers me through, unceremoniously shutting the door behind him.

And suddenly, I’m alone in the darkness.

It hits me all at once, as though the shadows surrounding my family have manifested into something far more real than I ever could have imagined, threatening to take the light from me once more . . .

I stop myself, taking a deep breath.

Relax, Luna. See if you can get your bearings in here. Perhaps that will help.

I blink several times, but it takes my eyes a while to even remotely adjust to the lack of light. But even then, it’s impossible to even see more than a few feet in front of me.

I look down at the books in my arms, the boxy shapes just barely visible. I suppose I can forget reading down here.

I place them on the ground and attempt to get some kind of feel for the size of the room. I replace the icy walls, ignoring the chill they send through my fingertips as much as I can. I follow them in a small square, giving me at least a rough idea of the space. It’s not very big, but that makes sense.

I replace the door handle, and out of sheer curiosity, I jostle it. It doesn’t open, which I expected, but part of me wishes that the servant forgot to lock it. But of course, they would never forget such a thing under Father’s orders.

I blow into my hands as I step away from the stony walls, and my feet knock against the books I had put down.

I wish I had enough light to read down here. It would at least give me something to do. Something to focus on besides the cold and dark.

Light to read . . .

Light . . .

My eyes widen.

Darkness and Light.

I know I can wield Shadow, but if I really can wield Aether, maybe I can wield Light too. Perhaps this is a good way to test it.

I shut my eyes. I can feel the pure dark energy radiating through my veins, but now that I’m really focusing on it . . . there is something else there, like Teagan said. Something warm, more delicate than the darkness, but just as powerful. Something that no shadow can ever touch.

Before I’m even aware I’m doing it, my fingertips buzz with warmth and I watch as wisps of a pure white light linger between my hands.

Could that be it?

I concentrate harder, focusing on the warmth in my veins. Thinking of all the good in my life. Thinking of Soren’s arms around me, his hopeful energy, his lips on mine . . .

As the memories fill me, the buzzing feeling in my fingertips grows and the white wisps turn into a shimmering ball of light; just enough to illuminate the small room in a soft, warm glow. I think I’ve seen light mix with my Shadow abilities before in subtle ways, in the shimmers in the fog, in the grayish colour of my abilities that no one else seems to be capable of. But this is the first time I’ve ever wielded Light on its own, unencumbered by Shadow.

It’s beautiful.

As I take in the shimmering, white force before me, a realization hits me.

This means I really do wield Aether: Darkness and Light.

I concentrate again in an attempt to somewhat test my limits, thinking of all the good within me again. Everything that has ever filled my heart with light, with kindness, with . . .love.

And suddenly, I’m blown back in time.

*

The roaring ocean waves of Kera surrounded my ears.

I looked to the lilac sands that led into the ocean waves, but the ground didn’t shift under me like I would have expected it to. I was sitting on something soft, but it wasn’t the sand.

Suddenly, I noticed an arm around me as another arm entered my vision, pointing to the calm, glittering waves. I could feel something at my back, a beating heart, I think. I had to have been sitting in someone’s lap, which would explain why I couldn’t feel the sand under me, but who was holding me?

I brought my attention back to the waves as they roared to life again, and the voice belonging to the body behind me spoke. It sounded like a woman, with the softest, most gentle voice I could have ever imagined. One that filled my heart with warmth from the very moment it hit my ears.

“Look! Those waves are pretty, aren’t they?” The arm around me hugged me tighter, and I became transfixed by the water, but I couldn’t help but focus on the woman holding me, letting her goodness envelop me as she kissed the top of my head.

And then she spoke again, but she sounded sad this time. “You know, love, I’m not sure how much time I have left with you. You’re so small, I don’t expect you to understand, or even remember me.” Her voice cracked as she held me close. “But try and remember this feeling as long as you can, okay? I love you so much, my girl.”

*

Darkness cloaks the room as I’m brought back to the present.

That . . .that was the ocean of Kera. Butwhowas that?

Was that my mother?

No, don’t be ridiculous, Luna. There isn’t a chance. Your mother didn’t want you. She wouldn’t have spoken to you like that if she gave you away . . . right?

And then, a realization hits me. One coming from a force beyond any semblance of my own understanding.

Father was lying about my mother.

I’m about to scold myself for pondering such a thing, but I stop myself.

Was he lying? Based on how he’s treated me my whole life, he certainly didn’t take me out of the goodness of his heart.

And if that woman really was my mother. . . she truly loved me. I can feel it even now, somewhere deep in my heart, in a place I didn’t even know existed until now.

She wouldn’t have cast me aside.

Perhaps Father did lie to me about her.

But why? Why would he want me to hate her? To control me? To make sure I never replace out anything more about her?

The Light grows in my hands again as determination builds within me.

I have to get back to Kera.

I have to replace the truth myself.