Dead Man Walking: Living By Day, Dead By Night
Chapter 229: Suffering From an Existential Crisis

Zane stared in disbelief at the message in his system for some time. Despite the overwhelming shock, horror, and other complicated emotions he felt internally, there was not the slightest sign of distress on his face.

It had long since become a coping mechanism for the man to obscure what he was really feeling with a stoic façade. And in times like this, it was almost second nature to behave in such a way. Though those familiar with who the man was could easily tell something was wrong with him by the way he acted.

After all the moment he read that his heart no longer beat, or pumped fresh blood through his veins, he was quick to check his pulse by placing two fingers on his neck. And sure enough, silence prevailed. There was no pressure felt from the absent beating of his heart. There was well and truly nothing.

This was a peculiar sign to Elena and Olivia, or it would have been had they been watching the man's reactions. But the girls were so busy talking about their plans, and excitement over Madison receiving a Horde King's blood crystal, and their speculation over what kind of new power she would receive.

Because of this, nobody noticed Zane as he unequipped his gauntlets and gazed at his own flesh to see whether or not there were any visible changes to his appearance. As the system had said, he appeared like a perfectly normal living human being, even though he could no longer be considered as such.

There were no blemishes upon his flesh, nor the paling of his already fair complexion. He remained completely and utterly unchanged from how he had been prior to physical transformation from that of a living human being to an undead Horde King.

If not for the absence of his own heartbeat, Zane might never had actually believed what the system told him about his own transformation. It was not only that, however… Zane could now feel a sense of hunger deep within him.

Unlike an undead of lesser intellect, it was not an uncontrollable hunger, or even an instinct that was present at all times. But it was undeniable that he desired to feast upon the hearts of the living. Or more specifically, those of the awakened.

In the past, Zane had been capable of gaining experience from this particularly gruesome and horrifying act. Something that he had been compelled to do by the voice in the back of his head. The voice which belonged to the mysterious stranger who had once upon a time frequented his dreams.

But he had never instinctively, or consciously, desired to partake in such an act. In fact, he had been mortified by the very idea and had naturally refused to do so when he was able. Yet… Now he had an instinctive desire to do just that.

And it was not only the hearts of an awakened which Zane had a hankering for, blood crystals were also something which he suddenly found an increased appetite for. In a way, there were still clear signs of humanity left within him. Or at least, that of the awakened variety.

For example, he still had access to the system and the benefits it presented. Perhaps it was because he had not actually suffered what the Horde Kings referred to as a first death, nor was he raised from the dead into his current state, that Zane still maintained some semblance of humanity, even if he was well and truly dead inside.

But when he really thought about it, what had really changed? Zane had for many years felt no connection to the living, and up until this moment, the only living human beings he cared remotely for were that of his new family, which he had found following the apocalypse.

Those feelings still persisted, even if he had been transformed into an undead monster. And because of this, he was able to calm his beatless heart and focus his mind on the implications of what this sudden change meant.

Both the system and the Horde Kings kept referring to the mother of death as his mother, and the other Horde Kings as his siblings. It was one thing for the Horde Kings to be mistaken, but the system was mysterious. It knew things about Zane that even he didn't know about itself.

Whoever created it clearly had a far wider range of knowledge about himself and all living beings than he himself did. In fact, it was fair to say that the mysterious designer of this system clearly had a borderline omniscient level of knowledge, a godlike entity, so to speak.

Was this entity a friend or foe for the living? Zane didn't know the answer to this. But this most recent change he had gone through left many questions. Was the mother he had known all his life, the one who had always been cold to him, even before the traumatic events of his childhood had occurred? Was she really not his mother?

There had been rumors which he had heard circulating around the community which he grew up in that his father had an affair shortly before he was born, and that the mother he had known his entire life wasn't his biological mother.

But what did this mean, then? That his mother was death? How was that even remotely possible? How did his father encounter the physical personification of death itself, let alone have an affair with the cosmic entity that somehow produced Zane? It was something that belonged to the realm of fantasy, not reality.

Yet the system itself was one of such things, as were the rising of the living dead. Was he really the favored son of death as the system had proclaimed to him upon mastering his skill [Dead Man Walking], and in doing so, transforming to something other than human?

Did this mean that the other Horde Kings were really his siblings? Or half siblings at that? The very idea was nonsensical and flew in the face of all logic, reason, and scientific knowledge that Zane had known up until this point.

But once more, the counterargument to this was the world was now full of unknown quantities that had once been the realm of legend, but were now objective reality. And it was while Zane was silently having a mental breakdown, facing this new existential crisis of his, that he heard voices in the back of his head.

These were not the voices that belonged to the mysterious stranger. Rather, they were unfamiliar, unknown voices which Zane had never heard before. Yet they spoke of things that even Zane himself did not know, meaning that they were no way in any shape or form manifestations of a broken psyche.

"Beatrix has fallen…. I felt her death moments ago. Undoubtedly, that mysterious brother of ours has made another move…."

The voice which spoke these words was sultry, and smooth, like oiled velvet. And it stirred up thoughts of arousal in the back of Zane's fractured mind. But before he could call out and ask where this voice had come from, and who it belonged to, another voice filled his ears. It was bitter and angry. Resentful even, and it pinned the blame on someone who Zane had already encountered.

"I warned you this would happen! This is your fault, Lilith! You had the nerve to give Gwen the confidence to deny my request to pool our strengths together to defend the area from this fiend's onslaught!

And in doing so, Beatrix and the others were encouraged to do the same! Now Beatrix is dead, and we have lost another of our siblings to the living, and our brother who hides among them!"

Finally, a voice which Zane was actually familiar with spoke up. It sounded exhausted, particularly with Bartholomew's comments regarding the death of their sister Beatrix, and his intentions to blame it entirely on her.

"I in no way, shape or form, influenced Beatrix's opinion to refuse your offer. You know our sister as well as I do. She was always an odd one, obsessed with whispers of fate and destiny, a true believer in our mother's will, more so than could be said for most of our siblings!

Do not dare attempt to lay blame for her death on me. It is entirely possible when confronted with our mother's scent on big brother that she simply accepted her fate and welcomed her second death! Which would have happened regardless of if I rejected your demands!"

When Zane heard this voice, he could not help but ask why Gwen's voice was in his head, and in doing so he crossed the barrier of communication that had always existed between him and the Horde Kings, shocking them all as he revealed his presence to them for the first time.

"Gwen? Why the hell are you in my head? What the hell is going on right now?"

Utter silence prevailed for several moments as the Horde Kings recoiled in shock that their mysterious brother had finally decided to reveal himself.

There were questions, too many to be asked in the amount of time Zane had, but before Zane could respond to them he was pulled back to reality by Elena, who grabbed hold of his hand with a worried expression on her face and asked a question that he did not know the answer to.

"Zane… Are you okay? You look unnerved…."