Dead Man Walking: Living By Day, Dead By Night -
Chapter 99: These Tears Don't Fall
Zane sat in the middle of what used to be a homeless shelter, drinking what remained of the group's alcohol supplies. Had he known he was going to encounter his mother in the safe zone, he never would have sold off the excess for a measly fifty blood crystals.
More than anything, he wanted something stronger. Something that would sedate him, and his internal conflict for the rest of his life. What was protecting his sleeping companions when he was stuck with his own twisted thoughts?
Memories of what had happened violently flashed through Zane's mind. Whether it was the actual murder of his own father, or walking in on her sister as she hung lifelessly from her ceiling fan. One after another the memories which Zane had spent years suppressing violently flood his mind.
An expression of utter torment appeared on the young man's face, a face that was usually cold as ice as he heard the gunshots which ended his mother's life, and that of her most recent boyfriend ring within his head repeatedly.
Evidently, he was writhing in agony while sitting at the table, completely unaware of his surroundings, as he relieved his suffering over and over again. Because he could not even hear the screams of the woman in front of him, nor see her crying.
It was not until Olivia grabbed Zane's hand and held it tightly in her own did Zane realize what was going on beyond his own affliction. Zane gazed up in surprise at Olivia, who stared at the boy with a warm and gentle gaze. But one that was also filled with deep concern.
Before Zane could even question what was happening, the mature silver haired beauty hugged her former student, clutching his head to her large bosom as she promised him everything would be alright in a soothing tone.
"It's alright Zane… Everything is going to be okay…"
Zane did not say a word as he sat there in silence for some time while Olivia rubbed his jet black hair. In the end, his tone became lifeless as he spoke the words that Olivia did not want to hear come from him.
"No, they won't… Nothing will ever be okay again…."
Believing the boy was going to do something drastic, Olivia fought for control of him as he tried to stand up. Telling him that he was wrong as tears ran down her face. She had, after all, woken up with her own conflicted thoughts about what she had been told, only to see Zane suffering from his own mental demons.
The moment she saw this, Olivia knew she could not allow it to continue and vowed to do everything she could to bring the boy some peace. Thus, she clung to him tightly and promised him everything would be fine.
"Zane, I know you have been through a lot. I heard everything from Elena, but it's okay… Things are different now. You have people who care about you, you have me!"
It was shocking to Zane, someone was actually expressing concern for him. He almost didn't believe it, and thus despite resisting just moments before rising from his seat, Zane collapsed back into it upon hearing Olivia's words, almost as if all the strength had left his body.
He then spoke in a soft tone, almost as if he were a tortured animal who had been rescued by a kindhearted soul, yet could not believe that such genuine acts of altruism could exist in the world due to all the abuse he had suffered for so long.
"Why… Why do you care so much about me? You never cared before!"
It was true that Oliva had shown the same level of shall we say callousness towards Zane while he attended her homeroom class. Or so Zane had thought, but in reality she had gone to multiple other teachers inquiring about what was wrong with Zane, and even petitioned the school to get him some counseling.
Yet the response was always the same "there's no use, such efforts would be wasted on a kid like that…" Olivia felt slightly wronged by what Zane had said, and was quick to speak her own perspective of the matter.
"That's not true! I tried to get you help multiple times throughout the past year! But nobody thought you were worth the effort! Don't you remember me asking you if you were alright? I even visited your house that one time to see if you were okay, but…."
Olivia did not finish the sentence, because it was Zane's mother who had shoo'd her away. And Zane actually did have a memory of this, but it was dormant, hidden within his mind.
After all, he was intoxicated when Olivia visited his home to check up on him and his situation, and his mother had assured him that Olivia was simply there to give him more work, because he was "lagging behind." Not that he ever actually received the work.
Zane also had a memory of Olivia reaching out to him after class, holding him behind after everyone had left for their next course of the day, and asking him if things were alright. Zane, at the time, felt irritated by this, believing that she was simply putting on airs, and did not remotely care about him in any sense that was genuine.
Because of this, he shrugged off her attempts to help him and walked out of the class with a bitter remark about the woman minding her own business. When Zane realized that Olivia actually cared about him, even before the apocalypse began, tears welled up in his black eyes, but they did not fall. Nor did they crash around him like a storm. Instead, he choked them back.
Olivia bit her tongue, hesitating on how to proceed. It was clear Zane was not doing nearly as well with this whole apocalypse as he put on. And he desperately needed someone who was there for him. Not only that, but ever since his physical transformation, Olivia couldn't stop thinking about Zane in a way that just a few weeks ago would have been considered incredibly inappropriate by society.
Yet in that moment when Zane showed weakness to her, and she herself felt the need to comfort him in any way possible, Olivia leaned forward and kissed the young man who was previously her student, shutting her eyes and blushing in embarrassment as she did so.
What happened next was something that only the two of them would know, as their other companions were fast asleep, wanting nothing more than to forget about what had transpired earlier in the day.
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