Death's Werewolf Nymph
chapter 16

I ran up to Death and started walking alongside him. “Do you always walk around the pack?” I asked him as we walked through the forest. I only then realized how good of a mood I was in. Giggling, smiling next to Death.

“Didn’t mean to disturb your date.” He said looking ahead of himself. He wasn’t even slowing down. Like I wasn’t even there. I was half running to keep up.

“It wasn’t a date!” I felt the need to explain that. I shouldn’t… I owed him no explanation.

“Okay,” he simply said, his expression showed that it wasn’t okay… at all.

“I am being serious, it wasn’t a date,” I said again. “We just need to keep our act for them.”

“Why are you trying to explain anything to me?” He asked, stopping and finally he looked at me. But I didn’t answer anything to him, I didn’t know what to answer, why was I trying to make him understand? “You look happy with him, holding hands and everything...” he muttered the last part but still it was enough for me to hear.

He continued walking ahead.

“He is my friend...” I explained.

He exhaled through his nose like trying to hold in laugh. “You are marrying your friend...a committed friendship,” he mocked.

“We are both aware of the situation we are in... if there is no one else… then he is the best I can replace. “

“You won’t be happy like that...” he said and looked down on me as he walked off. I quickly followed.

“And what makes you the referee of my happiness? He is kind, funny. He is the best chance of happiness I have.” I wasn’t stepping back... I knew our marriage was the right thing to do. I was sure of it.

“His kindness won’t make you happy.” His voice was very cold. His mood was different from the morning.

I looked back at him. “I won’t be happier alone...” I said hopelessly. I was so happy and then Death had to spoil everything.

“Do you not believe in love?” He asked me, narrowing his eyes.

“Do you?” I asked back.

At first he hesitated to answer. “In life like mine there is no space for love, besides every woman that ever sees me is either a witch or faceless demon creature,” he said.

“I can see you,” I said and he shot his eyes at me and I felt my cheeks go red. “...I mean that if I can see you there must be someone else who can. Maybe there is someone for you.” I fixed my previous awkward statement. I wasn’t trying to imply that I could be his.

He let out a mocking laugh. “In this many years there has been nobody and you think that magically there will now be one for me?” He asked.

“Maybe...” I said and looked down on my feet. “How old are you?” I asked him.

“I lost count after thousand,” he answered. Stupid of me….he was Death. He didn’t age like people did. Time was different for him.

“That’s a long time to be alone,” I said more to myself than him but he still answered.

“After some time you get used to being alone and then there is nothing you want more,” he said quietly.

“And what about being lonely?” I asked.

“It does not bother me,” he said but I didn’t believe him, I had a strong feeling that he was lonely. How could he not? But then he continued his sentence. “I see millions of people every day, how can I be lonely when there are so many individuals around me? I have no time to be lonely...” he said.

“You can’t feel enough through them....” I argued. “Do you not feel longing for love… ever?”

He laughed out loud. “You speak of longing yet you are giving yourself up for a life of convenience.”

I stopped in my tracks, he looked back when he noticed I wasn’t following.

“What exactly do you suggest I do?” I questioned. I felt like giving up most of the days. But there were moments like these that made me want to disappear.

When I was finally giving in to feel like I was doing the right thing he made me doubt again.

He didn’t answer me. He had nothing to say.

“I am utterly alone in this world.” I said. My voice pitched high trying to keep my cries in. “My pack hates me. I don’t have friends. My father wishes I was more like my sister. My mother keeps trying to change me every day.”

He slowly took a few steps closer. His face finally showed some kind of sympathy. Or maybe it was just pity… I couldn’t tell…

“I am completely out of place here. And you stand here and tell me that I am wrong. “I didn’t care who he was. I let myself cry. “I don’t expect you to care. Or understand. But I hate…that you don’t see how you constantly lessen me for my decision. How you make me feel stupid. And always make is seem like I am doing the wrong thing.”

I wiped my tears in my palms. My voice heated up. “I know that you know more than me, have seen more than me. But I know that you know nothing about feelings. About how inconsiderate you can be. You say that you have seen millions of people. Then why are you so oblivious? What do you feel like you can judge my choice when you have not felt it on your skin!”

“Because you are sacrificing your chance of love for convenience!” he shouted at me. His face painted red. I had never heard him scream so loud. So furious…

He quickly calmed himself down, shaking his head. “I would never dare to lessen you, you do that yourself.”

I was so happy to finally be okay with the idea of marrying and now… Death made me hate it.

I faintly smiled at him, “I hate you.” I told him and turned around in slow steps leaving with tears falling down one after another.

I suddenly felt him grabbing my wrist to stop me and instantly I swung my free hand to his cheeks direction. He swiftly caught my hand midair and pulled me up to face him. My breath hitched and cries stopped. Felt like I had stopped breathing when we just stood there. Pressed against each other, frozen in time.

Now both of my wrists were by his hold together pressed right up to his chest.

I really wanted to slap him across his stupid face. I didn’t care anymore that he was Death… I didn’t care what he could do. I wanted him to feel how I felt, so he knew not to judge me.

He stared down on me. No matter how angry I was, I didn’t dare to move. He put both of my wrists in his one hand. Tightly holding them above his heart…

I didn’t know before if Death had a heart… now I felt it… beating against my palms. He was looking down on me. Capturing my eyes completely. His now freed hand neared my face. He gently cupped the side of my face and with his thumb brushed away the stream of tears.

“You are still as pretty when you cry.” He said. And something in my heart zapped. “But you keep crying without tears. They dry when you are all out. And then you wake up the next day and you keep crying. No one sees it. Your tears are not pouring but you keep crying. Every day you walk around crying in pain with no one to see. Because you don’t let them. You can do the most mundane thing and you will still be crying. And you cry because you spend your days obeying to rules.”

He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear, for the first time removing his eyes from mine, but they soon found mine again. “But you can’t obey to rules if you are the exception.” He took in a sharp breath. “A beautiful and dangerous exception…” he said in a low whisper. As if it was meant only for him.

Only now I realized that his grip on my hands had loosened and I was the one who chose to stay in that spot…

“I don’t want you to live your life by the orders of others. Sad. Pleasing everyone but yourself.”

Why was he like this? Saying that he wanted me gone and then speaking so deeply felt.

“We are not friends…” I told him in a low whisper. “You told me we are not friends.”

“We could be… but I might die if you are just my friend,” he told me. But his voice was… broken. Like he lost his breath saying the last part. Sending his huskily voice to my ears.

He was just a fantasy… I tried to tell my brain.

I ripped my hands away from him and turned away from him. I didn’t want him to look at me like he did. It made me imagine things. Things that are not meant to be.

I kept my back towards him. My cries had stopped. “You go… i’ll catch up.” I told him crossing my arms in front of me and listening to his footsteps leaving.

I finally looked around me to realize he was gone. I could finally breathe.

I took my time walking, figuring that it wasn’t the time anyways. Only when I noticed the little light pebbles laid down I realized I had arrived at the lake. Death was walking around in boredom.

“Will they be here soon?” I asked Death, but someone from behind me answered.

“We are already here.” Jasmin spoke walking alongside with a scrawny looking man, he had a nicely looking beard and he was dressed in an elegant looking suit, very professional, but now it seemed that either we were underdressed or he was overdressed.

“Hello, my name is Zion and you must be the woman with unanswered questions,” he said with a friendly expression on his face. He had a very distinct high pitched voice that did not match his face... He looked around. “I was told that Death was going to be here too, unfortunately I can’t see him, but if he is here, good evening Death.” he said.

He walked up to a tree log and used it as a table laying down his briefcase I only now noticed.

“I am the moon goddess’s chosen one, I am here to speak for her on the earth when the questions are left unanswered.” He explained.

He reached his hand back to where Jasmin was standing and Jasmin gave him something. It was a pen-like looking object. “What’s your full name?”

“Meredith Boswell,” I answered a little nervously on how fast this was happening.

He took out a book from his briefcase and looked through for a specific page.

He nodded and put the pen down on the page and in blue, faint light up letters and a thousand names popped up scrolling through.

“What pack?” He asked again.

“Silver Star’s pack,” I answered and he scrolled through the list so fast I couldn’t see a thing.

“Meredith Boswell,” he said and pointed the pen at my name on the page. Then he started to go through the pages of the book and stopped opening up a page somewhere in the middle.

“You are in a family of four, twenty two years old, nymph and werewolf...” he had the information about me and he will just make it positive that my mate is nonexistent. “And your mate...” he said and looked at me with raised eyebrows. I felt my heart shake. “No mate...” he stated.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, “at all?” I asked.

Zion nodded. And he shut the book close. “If the moon goddess did that then that means it was what’s best for you,” he said but there was nothing he could say to make me understand her way.

“It’s best for me to be the only one without a mate?” I spat at him.

He looked at me with a frown on his face. “I don’t understand why it is like that but Moon goddess gives everyone what they deserve...” he said and I interrupted him mid-sentence.

“How come I am the only one not deserving of a mate?” I asked, feeling myself getting a little too heated at a person I just met.

“I really have no idea, it doesn’t happen often,” he explained.

Jasmin joined the conversation. “Seriously?” she questioned with one of her eyebrows lifted. “I brought you here so you can tell us that?” she questioned. “We already knew that. We wanted to know why.”

He shook his head in his lifted up index finger. “No. You said that she had not found a mate and asked me why. She has not found a mate because she hasn’t got one.” His shoulders shrug. “I answered your question.”

“Do you really think I would bring you here for a minute so you give us nothing?” Jasmin was angry.

Death walked up to her. “Don’t push it Jasmin.” He told her in a warning tone.

“What’s the use of you if you can’t tell us why?” she snapped.

With a rush he packed up his book and took his briefcase in hold. “If you would excuse me I have far more important things to attend to. Next time specify your question Jasmin Barnes.”

I turned to walk the other way and stopped at the edge of the lake. I didn’t cry this time. I just stood there miserable. I wasn’t particularly sad… just kind of numb. Tired.

After a while Death walked beside me. “They left...” he said. I heard crickets around us and occasionally some frog jumped in the lake.

“what now?” I asked him. “You need to replace out why I see you. What’s the next step?”

“Not sure…” he admitted. So no one had anything.

Maybe I was just broken? A misfit piece fallen into the universe… somewhere where I wasn’t supposed to be.

I turned back making my way back home. Death voice stopped me.

“You didn’t answer my question before,” he said and I turned to my side watching him. “Do you believe in love?” He asked.

“Yes… but not for me.”