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Chapter 0213

Fuck. This was hard. I wanted to stop, but now more than ever, I knew they wouldn’t let me.

“Like I said, things were

going well for some time. They weren’t perfect, but they were bearable. That is, had given birth to a baby boy and that Rowan fell until the night mom called me to let me know that Aus in love with his son at firs

“I was in pain, and I was really angry. Angry at myself for turning down Rowan’s proposal, angry at Rowan for getting drunk and sleeping with Ava, angry at Ava for getting pregnant and marrying the man I love I hear a sharp intake of air. I don’t need to turn to know that it is from Rowan, I still struggle with being around Noah because if everything had gone the way I wanted it to, then he would have been mine and

Rowan’s child instead of his and Ava’s.

“I wanted to punish Rowan. To hurt him like he hurt me. I knew he always disliked Calvin for the way he crushed on me, so that night I approached Calvin and seduced him. I knew word would probably get bac it would no longer hurt as much.”

1

I don’t tell them, but it’s also how I lost my virginity. I was saving it for Rowan and in the end I gave it to the guy who kept fighting for me to love him.

“I regretted it the next morning. It had been foolish of me to sleep with a guy I didn’t even like just to get

back at the man I loved. I told Calvin that it was a mistake and that he should forget about what

happened between us. I snuck out of his room, and I thought that was that. That it was a terrible one-night

stand and that would be the end of it.”

Fuck had I been wrong. I hadn’t planned for what was to come next. What destiny had planned for us. “We went back to ignoring each other like the other didn’t exist, that is, until my period was late. A cheap.

test, and later, a doctor’s appointment confirmed that I was pregnant.”

It had been the worst news I’ve ever received. Deep in my

heart, I believed that one day Rowan and I would get back together. I didn’t want an unwanted baby to hinder that. I didn’t want the consequences of my mistake to always be in my face. “Why didn’t you get an emergency pill the morning after?” mom asks, making me blush a little.

“Apart from being a complete mess, everything was new to me. To put it plainly, I was naive. It was the-

that wasn’t really enough to get me pregnant. Looking back, maybe if I’d told Molly, she would have advised me to get one, but like I said, I was so ashamed, I didn’t want anyone to know.” “You want to tell me that during all the years you dated Rowan, you never slept together? You were still a virgin?” Travis asks in disbelief. *

I knew

ew Rowan wasn’t. Before we started dating, which was at seventeen, he’d previously been sleeping with anything that walked and had a vagina. When I’d told him I wasn’t ready, he understood. We planned to wait till I was ready. My biggest regret was holding out on him.