Desire for you- ALPHA RYAN Book 1
Chapter 18

CATHERINE

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Rose yelled at Daeva, trying to fight her for my mind.

"They're dead, keep your fucking promise again and leave!" She growled.

"Wolfie, why are you in such a hurry? It's funny, the three of us would make the perfect dream team! I mean, we've all had so much fun... Let's be honest..." Daeva grinned at us.

I stood in the middle of my mind between Rose and Daeva. "Stop it both of you again!" I shouted at them both.

They both looked at me at once.

"What, are you going to disagree with me that that wasn't fun? You're lucky Rose killed Neva. I would have prepared her differently." Daeva said, annoyed.

"I would have hired someone to rape her in front of Arnor..." Daeva grinned wickedly.

I looked at her "We don't hire anyone here, especially not for such acts." I said and sighed.

We were stuck in my mind.

"Daeva, I want everything to go back to the way it was...", I said to her and looked at her.

She smiled at me sympathetically. "You know, me disappearing is the least of your problems. Your feelings, on the other side, are still switched off in reality... You're going to hurt people you love more than anything..." she shrugged her shoulders.

"We'll work it out ourselves, it would be a relief for us if we were at least rid of you." Growled Rose at her. Rose was in her wolf form and walked towards Daeva.

"As I said, me disappearing is the least of your problems. However, I will always slumber inside Catherine, after all, I am a part of her. You, puppy, can't influence that," Daeva replied and looked Rose in the eye.

They both had something fiery in them, only Rose had more empathy. Rose, however, could also be a beast when it came to protecting me. Rose had given everything to keep me alive in Arnor's captivity.

"Tell me Catherine, do you want me to leave?" Daeva asked me with raised eyebrows.

I looked between her and Rose, who was looking at me desperately.

Even if Daeva's powers were in my favor, I couldn't betray Rose...

Rose, who looked me in the eye, looked at me expectantly.

"We don't need her powers, we both know that together we're strong enough to take on the rest of the world..." she marked her position.

"Daeva, go back to your original form...", I said. She looked at me and just nodded. A snap of her fingers and she was gone again.

Rose looked at me. "Listen, if we don't want to cause any problems, you're going to have to stay in your wolf form most of the time... We need to figure out how to turn your emotions back on. Here in your mind, you're still nice Catherine, but once we're awake again, all hell will break loose..." she said.

"Got it." I said.

The whole picture, seemed to go dizzy and I was gone again.

I opened my eyes and looked around. I must have been lying in my room.

"You're awake!" Ryan was sitting next to me, holding my hand.

I released my hand from his and looked at him "Of course I'm awake, or were you already hoping that I had died too?" I said annoyed and sat up.

Ryan looked at me, completely perplexed.

"I would never think that about you, Catherine..." he said, touching my cheek.

"Can you stop touching me all the time?" I took his hand from my face and scooted over in bed a little to put distance between him and me.

He laughed "No way Cate, I can't keep my hands off you..." he said quite provocatively and came closer and closer to me like a black panther.

"One step closer and you're a dead man, Ryan." I growled at him.

He raised his eyebrows in amusement "You think I couldn't handle you Cate?" He moved even closer to me and pushed me onto the bed so I was lying down again. He sat over me and leaned forward.

He quickly grabbed my hands and placed them over my head. He was so close to me with his face that I had his delicious scent in my nose.

"I'll get your fucking feelings out of you if I have to, I'll tie you to the bed here," he whispered in my ear.

He was damn strong, his arms pinning me down. "I'll finish you off, my love, just like you've done to me over and over again..." I hissed at him.

"We'll see about that..." he said and began to kiss my neck.

I stifled a moan, this guy knew how to win a woman over. "Have you tried this trick with your lovers too?" I asked him as he continued to pamper my neck.

He paused and looked me in the eye. "I've been known to take anything that's not three to a tree, and I've also been known to be damn good in bed, if that's what you want to know.... You're lucky you're my mate, otherwise I wouldn't be so considerate...".

"Mhm... you like playing with fire?"

"Is that jealousy, Catherine?" he asked again, looking at me with raised eyebrows.

"I don't care about your past the way I don't care about you, Ryan..." I looked him in the eye.

"We both know you care about me. Even in your emotionless state, our mate bond is intact and I didn't even mark you..." he grinned slightly.

I rolled my eyes.

"I could mark you here and now to make you feel how important I am to you again. How jealous you can actually be..." he said provocatively.

"If a mark is the only thing you have in store for me, then I have to be honest with you... I'm very disappointed." I scowled at him.

He shook his head with a laugh "Catherine... Your name sounds like music to my ears. Catherine, Cate..."

I took all the strength I had and spun around with him. Now I was the one sitting on him, or rather, I was sitting on his crotch. "How was that again, you and stronger than me?" I stood up and looked down at him.

"James is dead?" I asked, making sure it was really him.

Ryan sat up "Well, after you mutilated his genitals.... He died half an hour later from bleeding, according to our pack doctor."

"Oh, I'm really not sorry about that," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"We know you're not sorry, but by the time your feelings come back, you'll be the distraught, crying Catherine..." said Ryan. He stood up and walked towards me.

"Turn your fucking feelings back on, Cate..." he said in his alpha tone.

I refused to follow him "No." I objected.

I made my way to the door and tried to open it. It was locked. "Open it..." Ryan threatened, coming closer to me.

"Open the door or I'll break it down," I said calmly and looked in the mirror opposite me.

Daeva had really disappeared, at least I didn't see her in the mirror anymore.

Suddenly I felt Rose trying to take over my body.

'Let me through again Catherine!' she screamed at me.

'NO!' I said, trying to wrestle myself back.

Rose managed to take me by surprise. I felt my fangs come out and I turned into my wolf.

ROSE

I glared at Ryan and snarled 'You better not mention that to me twice about your love stories.' I walked up to him and he stood motionless.

He was still a head taller than me, even in my wolf form, I was still shorter than him.

"Sorry Rose, I was trying to draw Catherine out of her reserves," he said, shrugging and stroking my back,

'Listen, we have to stop this madness and you have to mark yourselves... Tomorrow is the full moon and by tomorrow at the latest, you'll go crazy because you haven't marked her yet. Do you understand what the problem is?" I asked him.

He smiled, 'That's good, then that means she'll be all over me too,' he said. "What's the problem with that?" he said.

I shook my head "That's exactly what won't happen... She'll end up being the hunted one again. You can't imagine what effect that will have on her when she regains her feelings. We don't want the story to repeat itself like it did with James...'

'I would never do that!' he said louder, looking at me angrily now.

'Maybe not you, why do you think Onyx is so quiet? He wants to take what's his. I wouldn't have a problem with the bond, but Catherine does at the moment because she's not herself,' I tried to explain to him. He didn't seem to understand what was at stake here.

Now that I'd nudged him, his eyes widened.

"Shit, you're right... I'll just hold him back and lock myself in until the moon is full." he returned.

I shook my head 'Damn Ryan, you're an alpha. When it comes to your mate, your wolf will rip any chains you have on you out of the walls...'

There was a knock on the door "Hey Ryan, it's Kilian, open the door!" he said.

Ryan opened the door for him and Kilian looked at us, startled. "Rose?" he asked me. 'Yes, body and soul...' I said and had to smile at Kilian. I'd always liked Kilian.

"Oh God, at least you're in your right mind.... How's Catherine?" he asked me, patting my head. 'Catherine is as cold as a block of ice at the moment. You really need to change that...' Rose said.

Kilian laughed and shook his head 'It won't be that easy... With your mother, the whole thing degenerated...' said Kilian.

'With our mother?' I asked.

He nodded uncertainly. "When you were both away, just before we found you, she had something of a fit, her feelings were gone and we had to lock her up for two weeks... It was only when we could tell her you were okay that she calmed down."

'And what if we bring mom here and she might do the same to Catherine?" I asked them both.

Ryan and Kilian looked at each other "That might work... Before Catherine gives us hell." they both said at the same time.

"Will you take care of it Kilian?" asked Ryan. Kilian nodded, "Yeah, I'll order my beta to come here right away.

'Listen, Catherine is pushing herself on me more and more. You have to get this sorted out today, I don't know if I can keep her in check...' I said desperately and felt Catherine taking more and more possession of her body.

I turned back and was back in the far corner of Catherine.

CATHERINE

I was myself again, glaring angrily at Ryan and Kilian. "Get the hell out of my way again!" I hissed at them.

Kilian stood in front of me "Cate, we can't let you do this, believe me, you're going to regret all of this.... We really just want to protect you."

I laughed, "Don't give me that act. You're protecting me? Where the fuck were you for a year when I needed you?" I glared coldly at Kilian. I extended my claws again, "Step aside or you'll be next without a heart," I hissed at them.

Ryan quickly grabbed my hands "We won't let that happen Catherine." He looked at me seriously.

His brown eyes sparkled at me. Damn those eyes and the woman who brought him into the world.

I tore my gaze away from him, knowing he was constantly trying to bring me under his alpha command. However, I did everything I could to disobey him. I was still wearing the pants I had put the syringes in yesterday.

I grinned inwardly.

"Kilian get the chains, I think it would be wise to tie them up," he said to Kilian.

I laughed out loud. "Nobody ties me up, not even you!" I said angrily and gave Ryan such a hard shove that he staggered backwards. I quickly grabbed the syringes from my trouser pocket and rammed one into Ryan's arm and squeezed out all the contents. He passed out within a few seconds and fell to the floor.

I looked over at Kilian, "We both know I've always won against you," I said to him.

"Cate, I'm not going to fight you." he said emphatically, looking at me seriously.

I shrugged "Your loss..." I said and walked towards the door. "If you dare touch me, you'll be the next one lying next to Ryan. I'm going to go now." I said and walked out the door. He made no move to stop me.

I knew the drug wouldn't last long with Ryan. He was an Alpha, after all, and could absorb anything much faster.

I made my way down the stairs and headed for the exit. Michael was standing outside the door. "Where are you going?" he asked me with a raised eyebrow.

I grinned at him, "I'm walking out of here," I said and the next thing I did was to ram the syringe into his muscular upper arm. Apparently Kilian had informed the whole pack about my escape attempt.

I ran out. I had to get out of here if I didn't want to be brainwashed. I couldn't turn because Rose would drag me back into the house.

She tried to take charge again, but I gave her no way out. So much for "Got it."