Desire for you- ALPHA RYAN Book 1
Chapter 38

ILAY

The moment of truth has arrived. We would wake Catherine up again, assuming that Ragnol's theory was correct.

I teleported Ryan and myself to Catherine's chamber and was now at the door with Ryan. I looked at him: "I want you to know that I don't want to do any harm. However, I also don't want to miss my chance and have to do without my companion..."

Ryan rolled his eyes "Get to the point Ilay and stop beating around the bush..." he said almost slightly annoyed and raised his eyebrows as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. He was wearing a black shirt and dark gray jeans. His hair was slicked back and his brown eyes glared at me dangerously, "Don't you dare say the wrong thing".

"What I'm saying is that I have Catherine's best interests at heart. I want her to get back on her feet for the first time and if that's the case.... Then I would fight for her. But a catastrophe like this is not my goal. I want us to sort this out sensibly and put aside the dirty games for Catherine's sake." Period. I exhaled and ran my fingers through my hair.

Ryan listened to me carefully and thought for a moment. "Hmm, do you want to know what my real concern is, Ilay?" He asked me, pausing for a moment. "A mark like that, a bond is pretty damn strong... My worry is more that she'll want us both and I'll never get rid of you." He raised his hands apologetically.

I let out a snort and laughed. I shook my head "I'm definitely not going to share my mate with you..." I was almost annoyed. The thought of having to share her with him... That was a disaster... We would make history and every demon would lose all respect for me.

I rubbed my forehead and looked at him: "You know what? Step by step... We'll evaluate the situations together step by step and de-escalate them if necessary. If necessary, we'll call a meeting without Catherine being present. Ultimately, it's also up to her what happens. That means we won't have any influence on her decision anyway..." I had to pull myself together to stop myself from stuttering. I'd never gotten to the point where I had to argue about anything before. Usually it was just mine. Not with Catherine... She cared a lot about Ryan and she would suffer if I just killed him quickly and painlessly.... She wouldn't forgive me for that.

Ryan shook his head with a grin: "Tell me, Ilay, is that fear I smell? I don't know you like that. But well, we'll see how Catherine is doing first."

He held out his hand to me as a kind of confirmation that he would stick to what we had discussed... I shook his hand too and the deal was sealed. A truce, for Catherine's sake.

I nodded to him: "Let's go then..." I said and opened the door to her bedroom.

I caught sight of Catherine in her bed, still looking like she was asleep... so peaceful, calm...

My servants had looked after her every day as if she were their queen. Or rather, they had been instructed by me to treat her like her queen and to handle her with kid gloves. Her hair was freshly washed and every day her skin was cared for down to the tips of her toes with expensive creams so that her skin didn't dry out either.

She wore a nightgown made of dark red velvet with lace on the sleeves. Her bed linen was also changed daily and my medical officer checked her health every day.

My heart broke at the sight, even though I knew she was well looked after, it was never really enough for me.

Ryan stared at her in the same way and the pain he felt was written all over his face.

I also saw his Adam's apple move as he swallowed hard and he held his breath for a moment, then inhaled and exhaled deeply again.

This woman had an effect on us that we both couldn't describe... It was pure magic, love, warmth... everything. Outside the door, Ryan and I were playing macho, which was completely ridiculous. Here in this room, we were two little mama's boys crying for our mom.... sad, right?

I didn't dare say anything more to Ryan because asking him to finally tag her now.... I just couldn't. It broke my heart to know that she would never be completely mine. Knowing that I would always be a fifth wheel was a disaster for me....

Ryan suddenly looked at me with black eyes. His wolf was there and he seemed almost insane... He started to partially transform, his wolf ears appeared and he walked closer to Catherine, his eyes wide.

"Ryan, what's wrong?" I asked him, confused, watching the whole scene. This wasn't usually the way wolves marked each other.

He couldn't take his eyes off her and his hands were shaking slightly.

"Ryan?" I grabbed his shoulders, only to have him back down.

However, a low growl escaped his throat and he glared at me dangerously. I tried to get inside his head, but his wolf had put up a barrier. Damn it, what was going on?

"Ryan, is something wrong with Catherine?" I asked again, gradually beginning to lose my patience. What could be wrong with her that was upsetting his wolf so much?

Ryan started pacing back and forth, tugging at his hair with his hands. He slowly began to regain his composure and his eyes turned brown. "Are you finally going to tell me what's going on?" I asked him again, only to feel myself slam hard into the wall of Catherine's room.

"You... How long has she been dead?" He growled dangerously at me and held his fangs ready to lash out at me.

I looked at him confused and had to think "I don't know, half an hour? At least I tried to resuscitate her for half an hour... Only then did Azrael appear and give me the order to mark her..." I said.

He seemed to be really trying to calm down again, because his eyes kept changing from black to brown.

But I couldn't understand what was upsetting him so much. What could have upset him so much that his wolf lost all composure?

His eyes were brown again, and I tried to penetrate his thoughts to replace out anything. His wolf put up a whole barrier in front of his thoughts and wouldn't let me in.

He shook his head and sat down in the chair next to Catherine. He said nothing and just stared at her. "Let's get this over with Ilay... I'll lose my nerve otherwise." he said, looking very upset.

"Aren't you going to tell me what just went off in your wolf? He didn't really look happy." I tried to respond to him again, but it didn't look like he wanted to talk.

As if he had read my mind, he shook his head and sighed "No, I don't want to talk about it. I want Catherine to finally wake up. Vamos." He finally sat down on the bed next to Catherine.

I stood on the other side and leaned against the wall. I watched Ryan as he gently lifted Catherine's head, exposing her neck. My mark was on the other side and I noticed Ryan looking at it too and muttering something under his breath.

He finally brought his fangs forward and placed them against her neck. He bit gently into her skin.

I felt an energy come over me that almost made me feel sick. I held myself against the wall and stared at Ryan, stunned. What had just happened here?

Could this be happening? Could our bond with Catherine be connecting us as well? That was impossible... After another minute, Ryan let go of her neck and licked the blood off his lips. He looked energized and glanced over at me.

"Damn, what was that?" I asked him, irritated.

Ryan shrugged his shoulders cluelessly "I don't know... I just know that I feel great..."

"It's obvious that you feel good when you tap into all my energy, you idiot." I said, suddenly annoyed.

"Your energy? I marked Catherine and not you?" Ryan asked confused and looked down at Catherine, who still wasn't moving. Now we had to wait. Wait and hope that this worked, because if it didn't then Ryan would have the bond to his advantage too and we had to keep looking for a solution.

"Yes, you tagged Catherine but apparently, mine and your bond also connected through Catherine, which is actually completely absurd. At least I can feel what you feel..." I said, sensing his insecurity now.

He was insecure and excited at the same time. Was it that outburst of anger that made him do it earlier?

I frowned and looked at Catherine. What could Ryan know that I didn't know about Catherine? Apparently it had suddenly upset him so much and again he quickly came back down as if he had accepted something....

Ryan was a mystery to me at the moment.

"Why won't Catherine wake up?" he finally asked me, grabbing Catherine's cheek. He stroked her hair and bit his lower lip. You could tell Ryan was at the end of his tether. Tired and prudish, drained.

No wonder, as the saying goes, a woman steals the years out of your life.

I sat down on the other side of the bed "Maybe she just needs a little time..." I was worried that nothing would come of this. Ragnol was probably playing us because he now knew that we were both Catherine's companions... A tactic to annoy us.

I thought of Julieth, whom I had murdered in cold blood just to give Dimitri my heart.

I had a bad conscience towards Julieth, especially as I had let her die with great sorrow.

"You don't seem to be feeling any better..." Ryan said, looking at me. "What's bothering you?" he finally asked.

I shrugged my shoulders "I don't know, I feel really bad about Julieth.... She's been worried about her grandmother lately because she couldn't afford her home. The thought that we've enriched Dimitri for no reason and that this might not work out... That thought is driving me crazy," I tried to explain to him.

Ryan nodded understandably "Yes, that was hard. Especially since Ragnol also mentioned that Julieth will still be haunting us. Do you think that's true? I mean, it's hard for her to come back from the dead?"

"I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised, especially as we really deserve it." I finally said and took Catherine's other hand.