Desire for you- ALPHA RYAN Book 1
Chapter 7

CATHERINE

"Stop disfiguring your beautiful lips." He whispered, running his index finger over my lips.

My knees went weak at his touch, as if my knee joints had been replaced with pudding.

The anger I felt inside was gone with his touch. I bit my lower lip again unconsciously. That usually happened when I was nervous.

"You'd think you were trying to provoke me with that," he said, placing his hand on my cheek.

I shook my head "N-No I don't want to provoke you with that." I muttered softly.

What had I been thinking earlier when I slapped him in the face? After all, he was the Alpha and my mate.... And he didn't even resent me for it....

He ran his fingers along my neck.

"Maybe the mark wouldn't be so bad. So no one would ever think of touching you." he murmured against my neck, pressing a kiss to the spot where wolves are usually marked.

I gulped and my whole body shuddered at his touch.

"Y-you said you wanted to take your time?", I moaned out. Oh moon goddess what was happening to me?

"Mhm would be too bad to wait?" another kiss and another.

"Please stop...", I finally said and managed to pull myself together.

He let go of me on command and looked me in the eye. "What exactly do you want, Catherine? A companion? That was your wish, wasn't it? I will give you what you wanted." a growl along his throat and his eyes turned black. "You are mine, only mine!" his wolf said, holding me by the back of the neck with one hand.

Apparently, his wolf was damn jealous of Kilian. "Kilian is like a brother to me, I grew up with him. A-As well, he has a mate." I still managed to say as he moved closer to my neck with his ripping teeth. "P-please Ryan... Let go of me..." i felt like crying.

I remembered the scenes in Arnor prison, how he came to my cell every day with his whip to punish me. Every day I begged him to let me go, but nothing happened. At 9 a.m. on the dot, I got my punishment, only for my whole day to become a miserable one than the next.

The memory made me hyperventilate and I couldn't get my breathing to calm down. I lost all control of myself so I couldn't even be aware of my surroundings.

'Hold your breath and count to 10!", Rose told me, panicking when she saw me struggling to contain myself.

I shook my head and struggled to breathe until my eyes went black. I heard Ryan's voice over and over again, however I was out of my mind.

I don't know how long I was unconscious, when I woke up again Ryan, Kilian, Cynthia, Tristan, Maya and even Michael were standing around me.

"Oh thank God, you're awake!" said Kilian, looking at me with concern. My gaze stopped at Ryan, who was standing MORE behind everyone else, trying to keep his composure.

"How long was I unconscious?", I asked Kilian.

"About 10 minutes, you probably had a panic attack," Cynthia said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I nodded weakly "I'm fine again, go to sleep, you have something to do tomorrow..." I mumbled softly to myself. The only thing I wanted right now was to be alone with Rose. Just like we always were.

Maya understood the message and pulled Tristan and Michael out of the room.

"Do you want me to stay here?" asked Kilian, sitting down next to me.

I thought for a moment and Ryan's words came to mind. Just thinking about the situation made my blood run cold and his eyes, which were fixed on me, didn't make it any better. I shook my head "No-please go." I said and looked down to the floor.

Kilian nodded and stood back up. "You know you can talk to me. Good night Cate." he said still and smiled warmly at me. I just glared after him as Cynthia made her way after Kilian as well.

Ryan stopped in front of me. Just as he was about to speak, I interrupted him "Go." I said and swallowed.

"I'm sorry" he looked at me and sat down on his knees in front of me.

I shook my head "I'm sorry. I should have never asked you for help..." I looked painfully into his eyes.

"It may be that Arnor tortured me on a daily basis, but you are hurting me at a point I never thought it could be this bad..." Tears formed in my eyes.

"I-I'm too broken to be with you, an Alpha. I can't stand all of this. Even these two days are just too much for me, I can't do this." I wiped my tears from my face "Please go..." I demanded again, turning away from him.

"Catherine... I never meant to hurt you. I know I've been a jerk, but I feel the bond with you and I'm willing to accept it.... I only want you." he looked at me sadly and I just shook my head.

"I want to go back to my pack. I need distance from all of this. I want to go back to my parents, my friends, I can't do all this right now.... I can't even think straight, it's too much." I croaked and my breathing started to become erratic again.

I stood up and paced back and forth around the room trying to distract myself. "You're not aware of the shit I've been through.... I can't..."

I almost went insane and grabbed my hair.

'Catherine...' Rose became agitated and decided to take over my body.

I turned into a wolf and was now lying in the middle of the room. Ryan, who was looking at me calmly, didn't dare to address me. Apparently the whole thing was getting too much for him as well.

ROSE

'I told you not to fuck this shit up and what do you do? You're fucking it up in every way.'

'Rose, I didn't mean to, I was just jealous.... I swear.' Ryan said, coming closer to me.

'Me and Catherine are going to reject this bond. She doesn't need another asshole who can't take care of her. There's been enough of those in her life, starting with an incompetent alpha who sold her out, a father who couldn't protect her, and a pack that just watched."

He stopped rigidly and his wolf came into view.

'Nobody turns me down.' He growled, coming toward me snarling.

'Well my dear, then you should have tamed your Ryan better. It may be that Catherine is weak and broken. I, however, am the opposite of her. I will kill anyone who gets in her and my way, so scram before things get ugly.' I walked up to him to show him I wasn't afraid. His wolf was pitch black and bigger than me, but what he didn't know was that I was a hybrid, which is why my fur shimmered dark red.

Catherine's mother was half demon, which is why this left a trail of blood on us. I had the strength of an Alpha and I was damn fast in battle.

Why I didn't take advantage of that when I was trapped? Well, I was sedated daily with wolfsbane.

Onyx glared at me. 'I will let you go, but be sure that you will return to me willingly. You will not endure the pain of a breaking bond.' His pitch black eyes pierced mine.

My face contorted into a grin 'We're already broken wolfie, we can't get any shittier. The only one to break will be you.′

'We'll see' Onyx issued and tried to lunge at me.

I nimbly dodged him and let him slam into a wall. An angry growl rang out and he lunged at me again, grabbing me this time. He managed to ram me to the ground and stopped over me.

My eyes turned a deep dark red and I bit his paw that was holding me down.

I squeezed so hard that he howled in pain. I quickly got up in that second and gave him another kick.

'That darling, was a mistake. A bloody huge one,' I hissed at him.

As I was in my wolf form, I stormed out of the room and ran for the exit. I ran off into the darkness, into the deep woods. It was a cold November night, however my fur kept me nice and warm, I heard a howl and I could well imagine it was Onyx's. I ran further and deeper into the woods and it was good to have a run again. At some point I stopped running and trotted along in front of me.

'Catherine? I muttered under my breath. Now it was Catherine who was completely withdrawn in the back of my mind.

'Huh?" she asked.

'I know you're miserable, but we have to be strong together now. Because I hardly think we belong to the Black Moon after this action ...'

'I never want to see that asshole of a companion again,' she said and sighed.

'This will hurt for a while, but we'll get used to it,' I replied, walking on comfortably.

'What else can hurt us, I think we've been through everything from A to Z.'

At some point I spotted a small cave in the forest. I looked around, there was not a soul to be seen and I decided to settle down here. After all, it was already safely early morning and I had walked for several hours. There was no sign of Ryan. Apparently his ego wouldn't let him worry about us. Let it be all right with me.

I sat down on the stony ground and breathed in and out the cool air.

I had to think now how we were going to proceed. Soon the attack on Arnor's Ice pack would take place and they will be as tough as nails as I heard and will reduce everything to rubble.

I decided that I would stay out of it. Let them all die for all I care.

I felt a sadness inside, combined with pain. This must be Ryan's wolf, who seemed to have begun to suffer from the separation. Even though we were not tagged to each other, there was a certain bond. I tried to block out my frustration, after all, he was trying to hurt us.

Me and Catherine would get through this. End.