Dyllys
Chapter Eight

“Wakeup.”

Dyllysopened her eyes and tears immediately starting flooding them. It was dark inthe room and she could feel a presence beside her. She didn’t want to be awake,it hurt so much. She tried to stifle a cry but couldn’t. She sat up on the edgeof the bed and felt the form that had been beside her stir. The lights flickeredon.

“Dyllys?”the voice asked sleepily.

Dyllysturned her head at the voice and the crying stopped. “Faran?”

Farancame closer to her and looked at her quizzically. “You’ve been crying.”

“Faranis that really you?” Dyllys asked and then touched his face. “Was it all just adream. Oh, Faran,” Dyllys fell into his arms leaning her head into his chest.She could hear his breath and his heart beating, such a familiar sound. Faranput his arms around Dyllys and remained silent.

“FaranI had this terrible nightmare. Emanuel made me –” she stopped unable to recountthe awful memory again. “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’rehere.” She looked into his deep brown eyes and then, smiling, she leaned up tokiss him. He was warm and his kiss was just as she remembered it. Then suddenlyit didn’t feel right at all and Faran pulled away from her. Dyllys looked athim, confused.

“Faran,what’s wrong?” Dyllys said. “Faran, please.” She let her hand trail against hisjaw like she used to do whenever he was upset with her; it always made himsmile. This time he didn’t smile. This time his jaw hardened in response to hertouch.

“Dyllys,stop. I can’t do this.”

“Whydid you call me Dyllys?”

Faranlooked at her with glassy eyes. “Because that is your name.”

“Don’tbe silly,” she said, laughing, and then leaned into his chest again taking adeep breath of his scent. But there was something wrong: it wasn’t the earthysent that Faran had always carried, it was something different and unfamiliar.She pulled away from Faran and looked at him again. There was somethingdifferent about him. Then Dyllys looked at her hands, her hands that had beenthe color of olives were now an ivory white. She ran her hand across her armand then slowly lifted her hands to her temples and lightly brushed her wingswith her fingertips. She froze and looked back at Faran.

“Itwasn’t a dream was it?”

“No,”was all Faran could manage.

“You’renot my Faran, are you?” She wanted to reach out and touch his face but stoppedbefore she could feel the warmth of his skin beneath her fingers.

“No,”he whispered.

Dyllyspulled her hand away from him and then slid off the bed, “I – I’m sorry,” shesaid and then fled the room. Faran watched her go and then stared at his ownhands and let out an enraged cry.

Dyllysheard his cry on the opposite side of the door and cringed at it. This was allParris’s fault. She left Faran behind and wandered down the hallway, anger andsorrow mixing within her. She opened Parris’s door without knocking. He wasalone in the dark staring at a computer screen. He turned when he heard thedoor open.

“Youawake now?” Parris asked.

“Why?Why couldn’t you just leave me alone? I was fine the way I was,” Dyllysreplied.

“Youwanted this just as much as I did.”

“Howcan you say that? It was my choice not to feel ever again. Mine.”

“Itwas Faran. He rejected you didn’t he? He wouldn’t play along with your littlefantasy.”

Dyllyscame into the room, her eyes downcast, and sat on Parris’s bed.

“WhenGlory brought him to Tossu I couldn’t distinguish the past from the present. Iknew he wasn’t my Faran, but I suddenly wanted to remember everything when Isaw him. It was wrong of me. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Youwere thinking of finally getting to say goodbye.”

“Howdo you know so much about my life?”

“Didyou make your memories external so that they would be easier to lock away andforget?” Dyllys touched her wings again.

“No.”

“Yougave some of your most cherished memories to my great-great-great grandmotherbefore you decided to die. She passed them on to my great grandmother whopassed them on to me before she died. I was the only one she ever showed themto. I think she didn’t trust anyone else with your story. I don’t even know whyshe trusted me. Maybe she new she was dying and she didn’t want you to die withher.”

“Itwas supposed to be quick, you know. I had this romanticized idea that I wouldfollow Faran into eternal sleep like Juliet did with Romeo. It’s taken so longthough.”

“Areyou still determined to die?”

Dyllyslooked at him and smiled. “I couldn’t stop it now if I wanted to. What is doneis done. I never wanted to live forever anyway.” Dyllys looked at Faran. “Youare wonderful at spinning the conversation away from questions you don’t wantto answer. Why did you help me?”

Parrissmirked. “Here I was lecturing Faran, and I myself replace I’ve become just asselfish as he. I was hoping that you would be able to help me.”

“Youhoped that if I could feel again then Esper could as well,” Dyllys said. Itwasn’t a question.

“Howastute.”

“Yourealize that it doesn’t work that way. I never rewrote any of my programming, Ibroke it, learned to ignore it, because I was human once. I can’t makesomething that wasn’t human become human.”

“Irealize that conundrum.”

“Youshould have known it before.”

Parriswent to reply but the com link activated and Esper’s voice rang through theroom. “We have reached the rendezvous point, Parris.”

“Letus continue this conversation another time, Bellezza,” Parris said and walkedthrough the door of his room. “I have business to attend to.”

“Parris,can I come with you?”

“Ithink that’s a grand idea. Why don’t you bring Faran along as well, I’m sure itwill be quite educational.”

* * * *

Dyllysknocked on the door and waited. She heard nothing on the other side of theroom. Hesitantly she spoke, “Faran, it’s me, Dyllys. I would like to talk withyou if I could.” She heard the door unlock and pushed it open. When she lookedat him she had the feeling that as she had gained back her humanity, she hadstolen it from Faran. He looked like she had once.

“Faran,I need to apologize. I think you will hate me for this.” She turned away fromhim quickly. She was replaceing it hard to look at him while she made herconfession, “I was awake once before this time. My Faran was dying and I wokeup. But when I rushed to his side to share one last kiss with him, to tell himthat he had done what he had promised he would, it was too late. I never got totell him. He died thinking me still a puppet of Emanuel and still a slave tohim. It broke my heart. I didn’t want to live anymore, and I certainly didn’twant to feel, not without him. It was too painful. So I did the only thing Icould think to do, I started the process of my destruction and then fled backinto my emotionless shell, but I didn’t die and then Glory brought you to meand it was like Faran hadn’t died at all. I thought I finally had a chance tosay good bye, to tell him that I was free. I was confused. I should have knownall along that you were not him. I know you tried to tell me, but I didn’t wantto listen. I wanted to believe that I had a chance to see him again.” Dyllysturned suddenly and looked at Faran. “Faran will you ever forgive me?”

Faranlooked at Dyllys and spoke, “Do you know that all my life I have always beentold what to wear and how to act and what to be. I never had a will of my own,I blindly obeyed. Then one day I was tired of it, I wanted to leave behind myfather and his world and become my own person. My father wanted to restrain thatside of me and so my aunt Glory devised a plan. She convinced my father that itwould be in my best interests and the family’s if I were to come to Tossu. Butit wasn’t in my best interests, or even my father’s, it was in Glory’s bestinterests because I think Glory is infatuated with you Dyllys. She wanted sobadly to be the one that broke the spell and she saw me as a way of doing that.My father used me, my aunt used me, you used me, and so I decided to use you. Ithought if I could pretend I was helping you I could escape all of them. So Iguess what I am saying is that I forgive you, I just hope that you can forgiveme.”

Dyllyslaughed and Faran looked up at her. “What silly creatures we are.” She lookedat Faran with her icy blue eyes and smiled. “It’s strange that we were allhelping one another after all despite our best intentions otherwise. I guessall we can do from now on is move forward. I want to help you Faran, to replaceyourself.”

“Iwish I could have helped you, Dyllys. I really wish that with all my heart.”

“Youhave Faran, more than you know. Now come, Parris has plans to educate you morethoroughly in his world.”

Faranled the way through the door. When Dyllys stopped he continued on unaware thatshe was not following behind. She leaned against the wall for support. Somethingwas wrong, she could feel it. She heard the sound, like tinkling shards ofglass, and turned around to look. Silvercascaded down her back as she caught a glimpse of her hair losing length,crumbling into fine silver dust. She should have known that to have death shewould have to endure the pain of life.