Elf Against the Wall: A Holiday Romantic Comedy (The Wynter Brothers Book 2)
Elf Against the Wall: Chapter 26

“Snowball, what the hell?” Evie bent down in front of the little white dog, giving me a good view down her cleavage.

Braeden was trying to steal a peek too. Fucker.

Suddenly, I wanted to throw it all away, just to fucking own him, drag him face-first through the sharp gravel and expose what a lying creep he was to the Murphys, who were oh too willing to slaver all over him and believe every word he said.

Par for the course for that family.

Evie gave up trying to corral the wiggling Snowball, who didn’t seem at all the worse for wear from her four-and-a-half-mile sprint from the Murphy house through the snow, carrying a dildo the same weight as her.

Snowball raced off, keeping Evie’s smaller cousins busy so their parents could enjoy a free few hours of food, drink, and fun.

“Bet you wish you’d saved the money on the suit rental.”

“Hardly.” I leaned over to kiss her.

I would have dug up a corpse to steal a suit to be at the party. It was a gold mine.

And the suit was the perfect disguise. Once they were drunk, all her family members saw was the suit and the interested expression on my face.

I was wearing a wire—I’d promised Jake my first-born child—and he was cross-checking in real time the information Evie’s family was drunkenly spewing.

Disasters made good cocktail conversation, and everyone liked to brag about getting one over on the insurance company.

Evie kept bringing me drinks and little bites to eat, smiling up at me with unfiltered adoration.

I kept slipping the alcohol to her elderly relatives, who were all too happy to accept drinks from me disguised as flirting. Even though I wanted to unwrap her out of that dress and fuck her in the nearest storage room, I had a job to do.

Would it be bad to sleep with her?

I was the villain of her Christmas story. Wouldn’t the villain fuck her then ghost her?

“You’re going through these like water,” Evie joked, handing me another scotch as her uncle who worked for an alarm company, and just admitted to lying to Van de Berg Insurance about the cause of the big customer-database breach, finished his story.

“I’m actually going to hand this to you,” I said to her uncle, swapping the drink with his empty glass. “Hell of a story.”

“Fuck the insurance companies, man.”

We did a complicated handshake.

“If you can get info off Braeden about Bergeson Real Estate,” Jake said in my ear, “we’ll be in the clear with extra to spare.”

Braeden was sloppily drunk with the rest of the obnoxious Murphy frat-boy cousins.

My hand settled protectively on Evie’s waist as we passed them. I angled us so she wouldn’t have to feel the slime of his gaze on her. Then just because I could and just because I was an asshole, I bent down and kissed her hard in front of Braeden, grabbing her ass possessively when I finally released her.

“I love having a girlfriend who puts out.” I tipped her head up with two fingers.

Her eyes were dilated with desire, anticipation.

“Yeah,” Braeden sneered, giving Evie an ugly look. “She does do that. On the first date, too, I hear. Don’t feel too special. She lets anyone fuck her.”

Evie grabbed my arm before I could slug him.

“Did you get that?” I asked.

“I didn’t have the microphone on.” She looked up at me, unhappy and guilty.

Jake said at the same time, “Hell yeah, I did! Too bad we didn’t have video, though.”

I tucked Evie under my arm, grabbing her a glass of wine, then led her outside into the cold.

“He’s right.” Evie took a long pull of her drink.

I took the radio out of my ear and slipped it into my pocket without her noticing.

“I always put out on the first date,” she admitted sadly.

I shrugged. “So do I.”

Evie made an unhappy noise.

“You probably do it because you can get any girl you want, so why not have the sampler platter? I just do it because I’m afraid guys won’t like me if I don’t.”

“Between the territorial dog, the disaster-prone life, and the general state of homelessness, what’s not to like?” I trailed my fingers along her collarbone.

“Yeah,” she huffed. “In high school, anytime a guy showed interest in me, it turned out he just wanted to get with my sister or…” She shuddered. “My mom. I tried, I really tried, to be a good girl like my mom and get a boyfriend, a real nice one from a good family, who knows what a mutual fund is and has life goals. They never seemed to click with me on dates. They’d just ghost me. But I found out if I slept with them, they called me back, so…” She took another sip of her wine. “Sorry. I have clearly had too much to drink if I’m not fun drunk or even sloppy drunk. I’m just sad drunk.”

I reached over to pull one of the curls that had escaped from her bun. “All I heard was someone humblebragging that she’s such a good fuck that guys crawl all over themselves to get another taste.” I leaned back against one of the massive marble columns, pulling her toward me to rest on my chest.

“That’s not going to impress Grandma Shirley.”

“Who gives a fuck what she thinks? I bet Granny Doyle thinks you’re the shit.”

“I bet you’re secretly judging me.”

“Like I said, I don’t like you enough to lie to you about what those men wanted or promise you that you’ll replace true love,” I reminded her, feeling my heartbeat reverberate around her.

I tipped her face up to kiss her before I could convince her to hook up with me, wanting to feel her curvy thighs around my waist as I fucked her up against the wall, losing myself in her.

That was what the Murphy’s deserved, right? To have the man they hated fuck their daughter then break her heart? Hurt them like they hurt me?

Though I didn’t think that would actually hurt them. They’d just blame Evie—probably already did.

My chest clenched in pain when I thought about her family angry and abusing her for being with me, even if it wasn’t real.

I didn’t have to show up at her mom’s party. This was my fault, right? I was making Evie’s life worse.

Man up. Stick to the plan.

Snowball strutted out from under a snow-covered bush, chewing what looked like a slab of roast beef and shaking the snow out of her fur.

I whistled to the dog and took Evie’s hand. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” I grabbed my helmet and my gloves.

Evie balked when we stood in front of the large motorcycle.

“My dress is too tight.” The pulse in her neck fluttered when my gaze swept down the tight red bodice of the dress.

“And more humblebragging about her sexy figure.” Then I picked her up, straddling the bike, then set her crossways on the seat in front of me.

“We are going to crash.”

“We’re not going to crash if you just hold still. I’ve ridden with bags like this before.” I stuffed Snowball down the front of my suit jacket, her little front paws sticking out. “Hold on.”

The bike roared, Evie screamed, then we were racing through the snow.

Her parents lived in the good part of town, and they were fairly close to the Canal Club, just up the tree-lined river walk.

Evie was gasping and laughing as we pulled in front of her postcard Victorian house.

The headlamp from the bike illuminated the Snowball-sized hole in one of the windows when I parked the bike.

“Crap, crap, crap.”

“I’m impressed, Snowball.”

The little dog jumped out of my suit jacket onto Evie then into a nearby snowbank, sank, then rocketed out.

“I’ll come by tomorrow and fix it,” I promised, setting Evie on her feet.

“I’ll do it.” She sighed dejectedly.

“You?” I was incredulous. “You know how to fix a window?”

“I think I could figure it out. It can’t be that hard, right?”

I couldn’t stop a grin. “You are so completely delusional.”

She kissed the motorcycle helmet, leaving hearts of red on the shiny black as I carried her up the short staircase to the front door.

I should just leave her there, should go back to the field office, shouldn’t take off my helmet, shouldn’t kiss her until she was gasping and breathless and shivering but flush in the snowy cold.

But I couldn’t stop kissing her.

It was intoxicating the way she just yielded to me, like all she wanted as for me to fuck her raw, damn the consequences.

“My decision-making skills have been lax as of late.” She gasped.

The helmet dropped at my feet.

I held her hands above her head with one gloved hand, the other cupping her through her bodice, which barely held her huge tits in place.

She moaned as I kissed the mound of her breast above the bodice.

“I want to come all over your tits.” I tugged at the zipper on the back of the dress. “I want to fuck you right here, your tits out, your skirt above your hips, your pussy dripping all over my cock as I pound into you while you scream against the glass.”

Evie didn’t register the approaching headlight.

I did.

But I didn’t stop.

I couldn’t get enough of her tits, which were huge and heavy.

“Your nipple will be so hard when I put it in my mouth.” I nipped at her lip.

“You could make me come just like this,” she said in that breathy voice.

The words went straight to my dick.

Footfalls crunched on the snow, then came angry words.

Evie yelped against my mouth, trying to push me off so her dad, brother, and ex didn’t see her, face flushed, with my hand down her dress.

“Your dog put a hole in my window, and now this?” Her father sounded disappointed. “Evie, you know Mrs. Charleston is going to call your mother and complain. You need to think before you act. You’re not a teenager anymore. Why haven’t you grown out of this behavior?”

I turned around, carefully blocking her from view.

“Just because your wife doesn’t put out doesn’t mean Evie has to join a nunnery.”

Dr. Murphy sputtered.

“This isn’t the first time she’s been caught on the porch, exposing herself in the middle of the night.” Braeden held a carton of what smelled like leftovers.

“Might not be the first time she’s been caught, but it is the first time she’s been with a real man.” I caressed her tits through the bodice one more time, my thumb lingering. I picked up the helmet. “I didn’t want to leave without seeing your tits, but I don’t think your dad’s going to let you invite me upstairs.” I let my gaze slide down her—predatory, possessive.

Yeah, I could definitely lower myself to fuck Evie Murphy.