Ember of Hope
Chapter 73

The next day Raegan woke up, she couldn’t tell what she was seeing. She was in her dragon form; sleeping near the woods at the edge of King’s gate. How’d she gotten here and where was Valiance? She stretched and thought back to when they’d decided to sleep in the open. It wasn’t the first time they’d be sleeping here but she couldn’t recall anything. As sleep slowly left her more awake; last night’s events came back to her with full clarity.

Finding herself alone brought some relief along with a sense of disappointment that Valiance didn’t come after her. It wasn’t like him at all. Was he really that hurt by her behavior last night? Of course he was. Why wouldn’t he be? You almost killed him, you idiot. Berating herself; she didn’t look where she was trotting to and collided with something… something huge. A cloaked dragon. Her heart started beating faster as she silently panicked at the thought that whoever it was; it wasn’t her mate. The dragon groaned and cursed.

“Damien?” she asked and poked at him with a claw.

An ear splitting snore sounded in result. Now she was sure that it was indeed Damien. “Hey goldy wake up” she pushed at him again.

He groaned again, “What time is it?”

“It’s time for you to wake the hell up dude”. She pushed at him a bit harder. Damien slept like the dead. It was a wonder he got up daily and actually did something else.

“I’m awake, I’m awake. Stop poking me”. He grumbled.

“Care to materialize so I don’t think I’m talking to trees?”

He materialized mid-stretch, “What’s up?” he said in a groggy voice.

“What are you doing here?”

“Relax. Your mate sent me to keep watch over you. He was worried about you.”

“What did he tell you?” it didn’t seem likely that Val would’ve told anyone what she’d done.

“Just that you guys had an argument and you stormed off and made him stay back. So he improvised and sent the next best option – me.” He grinned and shifted back. She needed to learn to keep her clothes on during a shift. It was very convenient.

She scoffed, “An argument? I lost control and threw him at a fucking wall Damien. Trust me I wish it was just an argument.” She hung her head in shame and the dread still recoiling deep in her core.

“Hey, it was an accident. You didn’t do it on purpose”. He tried to give her solace.

She whipped her head so fast it almost cracked her neck. “An accident? An accident where I could’ve killed him Damien. I’m afraid to even stand here and talk to you” a tear escaped her eye and she turned. “You should go before I blast you away too. I’ll be back soon. I need to retrieve my clothes.” Damien called after her but she blocked him out as she went in search of her clothes from last night. She needed to calm down and then replace Tamara to have a talk with her.

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Raegan knocked at Tamara’s healing room where she practiced. First look at her face and Tamara hurried forward to pull her in an embrace, “Oh honey”. The lack of disgust in her motherly voice brought a fresh wave of tears to Raegan’s eyes. Tamara held her and let her cry for as long as she needed. When she calmed down she took her inside and sat her down on a couch.

“Tell me what happened? Valiance came here looking for you a while ago but he wouldn’t say anything. Did you guys have a fight?”

She recounted everything amidst tears. “I can’t stay here and hurt the people I love. I need to leave until I can learn to control my powers.” She buried her face in her hands and it was taking all of her will power to not burst into tears once again. All she could think about was Valiance flying back and hitting the wall. “I can’t lose him”. She said on a broken whisper.

Tamara pulled her hands away from her face and wiped her tears. “You’re not going to lose him. You’re not going to lose anyone. I think I know what we need to do. Go pack a bag for a couple days and say your goodbyes. We’re going to meet my mother”. Tamara smiled at her encouragingly but the thought of going anywhere near Valiance was enough to scare her again. What if she lost it again?

“I know what you’re thinking. Don’t… don’t do this to yourself. Go, it’ll be alright. We’ll leave after lunch”.

Raegan was half hoping that Valiance won’t be in their room and she wouldn’t have to be in the same room as him but when she creaked open the door; there he was, pacing back and forth. He whipped around as soon as he heard the door but didn’t approach. He just stood there with so many emotions swirling in his eyes. She didn’t dare reach the bond; fearing what she’d replace. He looked hurt, angry, pissed… but most of all he looked disappointed. Was he disappointed that she hadn’t learned anything in so many days?

“Val” her voice shook and broke his resolve. He crossed the room in two large strides and pulled her in his arms with such ferocity; it knocked the breath out of her.

“Don’t ever do that again, you hear me? Don’t you dare leave me like that again” he growled in her hair. He was crushing her but she wasn’t going to say anything because she wanted that embrace as much as him… maybe more. But her own arms around him were reluctant and loose.

“I’m sorry. I really am”. She was apologizing for so many things. “Are you alright? You’re not injured?”

“No I’m not injured”.

“You sent Damien after me. I should’ve known you won’t ever leave me alone even if I try to kill you”. She was only half joking but apparently it wasn’t the right thing to say as Valiance’s features once again showed how pissed he was.

“Raegan” He started but she put a finger on his lips.

“I know I hurt you Val. And not just by putting you through a wall. What I did was wrong but necessary. I couldn’t chance another accident and leaving helped me clear my head. But I shouldn’t have snapped at you the way I did. I’m sorry.”

“I know. You think I don’t know what you’re going through? You think I can’t see how it’s taking a toll on you?” his voice was soft as he ran his fingers through her hair gently. “I just need you to promise you won’t ever push me away like that again. We’re together now… through everything. Do you understand that?”

“I do. I promise. But I need to go for a few days. Your mom thinks we should go visit her mother. She might be able to help me. But I need you to stay here.”

Valiance didn’t speak for a while. Just held her close and kept running his fingers through her hair. Then she felt his lips on the crown of her head. “Okay. I’ll stay here if you need that from me but only for a few days. Then you’ll come back to me.”

“I promise. I’ll always come back to you Val. There’s nowhere else for me. But yeah, I need to go do this on my own without having to fear for your safety. And you won’t have to worry about me because your mom’ll be with me.”

“But I won’t be”. He kissed her head again and finally… finally she dared to tighten her arms around him.

“I promise I’ll come back to you soon.”

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