Enslaved By The Alpha
Chapter 71

Things are awkward between Giselle's maid and me. I don't blame her for keeping her distance from me after I told her that Maya was the only woman that I'll ever have any feelings for. Even if I had feelings for her, I would never admit them. Not when I had a mate. Not when my mate was Maya, the most wonderful woman I've ever known in my entire life. No one could take her place in my life. I knew that something kept pulling me towards the girl, but I also knew that the moment Maya was in my arms again, absolutely no one would be able to grab my attention ever again.

After everything I've put my mate through, I cannot do anything to hurt her again. I've already done things that I shouldn't have done. I've gotten physical with the maid twice already, and I'm not sure how to ask Maya to forgive me for what I've done. Every time I thought about it, I felt like drowning myself in the bloody ocean.

How could Maya be so unlucky to replace a mate like me? I couldn't seem to do anything right. But it's not like I'm purposefully betraying her either. My emotions are messing with me. The only reason why I get so lost around Giselle's maid is that she reminds me so much of my mate.

I can't explain what happened whenever we were together, and I can't answer why my heart sped up whenever she was around. I also can't deny having feelings for her. There was also one other thing that worried me; my wolf seemed to think that she belonged to us. That she was something more than what she was meant to be in my life.

I don't f*****g understand anything that's happening in my life recently.

I can't explain why my heart felt like it would explode with fear when I realized that Giselle had left her to die. I also can't explain why I risked everything to protect her on multiple occasions. The only explanation I could think of was that I was a hypocritical fool. My words and actions were not aligning with each other. They both felt like they were going in opposite directions as long as it concerned this woman. A woman that I still had no name for. I knew nothing about her or her background. Maybe I felt sorry for her; perhaps that's why I was desperate to protect her. It was the only reason I could think of. I felt like I had to stick with this explanation if I wanted to move on from whatever I felt for her.

I hate how much it bothers me that I've hurt her from what I said to her earlier. But I don't regret it. I can't regret it. I told her I had no feelings for her because I knew that I was getting closer to replaceing out what had happened to Maya. I knew that I couldn't keep this up as I was in love with my mate.

It was eating me up inside that my control slipped around the maid; things were never supposed to reach that far between us. The first time I was drunk and used that as an excuse to kiss her. I'm still not sure what happened that night.

The second time, I almost ended up inside her. I shiver at the thought. Lord knows I still f*****g wanted that to happen even though I knew how wrong it was to even think about it. But in my defense, I was only trying to keep her warm in whatever way I could think of at the time.

The only problem was that my body began losing control when I finally started touching her. I don't know what I was thinking to even consider touching her like that. I knew that whenever she was that close for me to hold and smell her, my control always slipped. So then why was I so stupid to let it happen? I could have taken her out of the dungeon and started a fire. There were other options for me to help warm her body. But it was also true that I wasn't thinking clearly after seeing her like that; all I wanted to do was to save her. I knew that I would have to deal with the consequences of my actions after. And that's exactly what I'm doing now.

So many things about her reminded me of Maya. And maybe that's the only reason I'm so confused and conflicted whenever I'm around her. She reminds me of the woman I so desperately want to replace. Maybe I replace comfort in her, a reminder of what I wanted and needed. But nothing could explain why the taste of her was exactly like the taste of my mate. The moment I had spread her legs and gotten the scent of her, I knew; I just knew that I was f*****g screwed. I wanted more and more, and it was because it felt like I was tasting Maya again. A taste that has always left me needing more.

At this point, I wasn't sure what was truly happening to me. All I knew was that it had to f*****g stop before I found my mate. I'd put her through too much to let her down now. Now was the time for me to act like the mate I should have been in the beginning. There were no excuses anymore. I had finally put everything that happened in the past with my father and sister behind me. I knew that it was stupid of me to blame Maya for any of that. And it was stupid of me to hurt her because I was hurting. I let her take the fall for me. It should have never been that way.

Every time I think about the past, I lose my mind.

I had to make a promise to myself. A promise that I would never do anything to hurt her again. The moment that I found her and brought her back into my arms, I would do everything in my power to protect her and our unborn child. No one else will ever come above them. Not even me. Maya would be all I would ever worry about. She would be the only woman that I would put everything aside for. She was my woman. My only one.

And I was one step closer to replaceing her. I could feel it. She was near. I would have her in my arms again.

And when I did, I would have no choice but to say goodbye to Giselle's maid.

She's by my side right now. She's quiet, deep in thought as we make our way to the council. I didn't want to drag her along with me, but I had no other choice. I didn't want to leave her stranded. There was danger lurking everywhere. I didn't save her to leave her for someone else to hurt her.

"We don't have to go any further," I tell her as I spot Ermanno and his brothers a short distance from us.

This was it.

It was time to plot my revenge on Giselle and her father. They were going down.