Envious Desire
28

Axle

Witnessing Chloe’s rage and confusion riddled me motionless. Mutism ensues, noticing her quick angered movements in my direction. Halting just before me, as if in slow motion, her hand connects with my right cheek, echoing a thundering thwack to reverberate off the walls. Encasing my throbbing jaw, I gawk at her in utter awe.

“What the hell Chloe?”

Fumes bursting from her ears, her delicate finger jabs in my face, “You mentioned before, if I ever felt the urge to run, not to run, to hit, punch, slap or do whatever but not to run. I CHOSE NOT TO RUN!” Arms flailing about in the air in frustration.

A smile seized my face at her willingness to remain upright before me, by my side regardless of the pulsing on my face. After everything she’s been through, I would not have blamed her for absconding. Proud and triumphant are the words to best describe my emotional state at the moment. The edges of my lips curl at her progress to not flee as I stroke my burning flesh from the impact.

A piercing voice cuts through my admiration of Chloe.

“Oh is this still a thing? I thought you would have been long gone by now. He’s always on to the next, you know?” She waved her hand off into the air. “Fortunately, he can’t move on from ME.”

Selena twisted her body, arms clasped around her massive, curved stomach. I observed in horror as Chloe’s bright coffee colored hues dimmed while roaming over Selena’s baby bump.

The look of Chloe’s face elicited a suffocation in my lungs, anger bursting through the thermometer, “Selena! This is not the time or place. We will discuss this at a later time,” I snarled with disgust.

Chloe interrupts with sliced eyes, unifying her brows, “Discuss what?”

“Oh, you missed it Chloe. I’m here today to let Axle know he’s going to a father,” she rubs her stomach to insinuate I’m the donor who created this child.

A shift in Chloe’s demeanor to anguish washed over her entire physique, shattering my heart. God, I can’t stand this fucking vile female. She’s like a fucking leach sucking the very life out of every fucking vein from my body.

“I already told you Selena, that is not my fucking baby! There’s no way in fucking hell!” With a murderous tone my eyes seared Selena’s skin.

“Oh yes it is Axle. You are the only one I’ve had sex with. This is your baby.”

“Let me remind you of our last encounter! It was right after I met Chloe and for some God forsaken reason I called you in a mystifying, desperate attempt to get Chloe off my mind. My dick refused to perform because you are not the one I want. You are not Chloe. As a matter of fact my dick almost converted into a pussy.” My hand flies gesturing to the beguiling woman before me, “It’s Chloe! It’s always been Chloe since the day I fucking met her!”

A devilish smirk smeared across her vile face, “Oh no Axle that was not the last encounter.”

In-fucking-conceivable, this female is fucking delusional! “What the fuck do you mean that wasn’t our last encounter?

A sinister smile stretched across her face, you could almost observe actual horns pierce through her skull. “That wonderful day that Chloe walked in on us and I was on top of you. You couldn’t get enough of me, your hands were all over me. That was the blessed day you came inside of me, gracing me with our beautiful baby,” she expels lies while caressing her stomach.

Wincing at her words, my concern directs to Chloe, she’s unmoving, stoic, sans reaction. Face… a complete blank pallet heeding the vile words escaping Selena’s mouth.

“Ever since that day I’ve been pregnant and it’s yours,” the edges of her lips curled from ear to ear.

“There’s no fucking way!” Arms cross flying south emphasizing my denial. “If I couldn’t fuck you while conscious, then I sure as hell couldn’t fuck you unconscious. In addition to you drugging me nonetheless!”

“Drugs or not, you did and you were a stallion!” Her eyes popped with the last word.

“Then why are you coming to me now Selena? Huh? Why didn’t you come to me before?”

Cascading her head to the side, “Well, I was afraid you would convince me to get rid of it but I knew if I came now, you would have no choice but to accept it. My body, my choice right. I decided to tell you now. That’s it.” Her shoulders moved up and down disregarding my vexation with her flippant attitude.

“Alright fine Selena. You want to play this game. We’ll replace out once and for all. I’m taking you to my doctor. We’re going to get a fucking paternity test to put an end to your gold digging games.”

“I won’t trust your doctor! You’ll probably pay him to say that it’s not yours. And I’m offended at the idea that I want your money. I’ve always wanted you.”

Eyes bulging from their sockets, “I would never do such a reprehensible thing like that, convincing you to get rid of it. That’s fucking vile, disgusting. I would never deny my child. If it WERE my child, however I’m certain the baby growing inside of you is not mine.” Vexation boiling over , I rolled my shoulder, cracking my neck to each side.

“And after what you just insinuated, I would never bestow my confidence in any doctor you would recommend, seeming as if you are judging me on your actions.”

Veering towards Chloe, she hasn’t budged an inch. Fuck is she still breathing?

“Well then, I guess we are at an impasse.” Selena’s voice slices through my ear drum. “We both need to see a doctor neither one of us have any ties to.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, “Agreed.”

“Nowhere in the city will suffice.”

Moving my head up and down in a short quick movement, “Perfect!” Strolling behind the desk, I press the button for the intercom on the phone with dramatic force, I nearly crack the speaker, “Victoria? Find the nearest hospital to us outside of the city.”

Selena’s shrill voice rings, “Do you have any ties to long island?”

Peering at her, “No, do you?”

Shaking her head from side to side, “No.”

Speaking back into the receiver, “Specifically Long Island Victoria.”

Moments of deafening silence loomed in the room, all I could focus on was Chloe’s unmoving physique when Victoria’s voice fills the atmosphere. “We have NYU Langone Hospital Long Island in Mineola or North Shore University Hospital in Manhasset.”

“Shortest travel time?”

“The one in Minola but only by 5 minutes.”

“We’ll go there. The less time I spend within her vicinity the better.” I sneered as it spilled from my lips.

“Ouch Axle,” with a huge smile on her vexing face, “You’re going to have to spend forever next to me now because of the baby. You might as well get used to it.” Shoulders rise, hands darting into the air.

“I highly doubt that,” as I round the corner of the desk I zone in on stationing by Chloe’s side, hesitant, I halt my descent towards her.

“Well you can say that now, but after the test you’re going to be singing a whole different tune,” caressing her protruding stomach, she gleaned at it with joy.

My quizzical, longing orbs veer towards Chloe again, she remained unmoved, her chocolate colored hues set on the carpeted floor.

“Selena, wait for us in the waiting area?”

“Us? She’s coming too?” He polished, red fingernail aimed at Chloe.

Outrage simmered in my veins, “Wherever I go she goes! Now leave!

“Oo, so testy, alright alright.” Placing her hands in the upright position in a surrender she makes her way out of the office sauntering on the way as if she is even a concern of mine. I ensure the door closes behind her before I utter a single word.

I stroll before Chole, cupping her beguiling face urging her to meet my gaze “Baby, this is not my child.” She’s reverted back to gazing anywhere except at me. This is torment, I’m not sure my heart can handle her reverting back to solitude and disinterestedness.

This baby cannot be mine! There’s no fucking conceivable way. I can’t believe this shit, after everything we’ve been through. This needs to commence to arrive at its conclusion to finally have this fucking leech out of my life for good.

“We’ll go to the hospital. We’ll take the DNA test and I’ll even pay extra for speedy results so we can move on with our lives just as we started to this morning. There is nothing else in this world that I desire more, Chloe.”

With tender strokes, my hands grazed her arms in slow motion, she refused to return my gaze. I whispered the only thing I could think of that could possibly warrant an emotion, “I. Only. Want. You.”

With a slow nod of her head, I brazenly interlace our fingers, which she allows. I thank the stars above she didn’t pull away. I don’t plan on letting her go at all. Not at any point.

As we head outside, Selena’s huge Cheshire grin triggers my stomach to churn like a vat of butter. When viewing our collapsed hands, her smile lessens but still a smile.

“Okay baby daddy, let’s go,” her high pitched voice pinched a nerve.

Shutting my eyes, “Don’t fucking call me that!”

“I mean you are. I don’t get it. It’s the truth right!”

“No, it’s fucking not! And this fucking test will prove it! Now let’s move.”

Making our way, exiting the building, Leo has the car waiting upfront. As he opens the door, Selena skips in front of us. “I could get used to this.”

“NO– you won’t,” was my exact response.

Assisting Chloe by the hand, she entered the car first, I followed suit, never unlacing our appendages.

Seated leg to leg, I placed our locked hands on my lap as I created tiny circles with my thumb on her flesh. The only noise in the car was Selena speaking on the pregnancy. What she has experienced and how she can’t wait to become part of the Cross Family.

My blood boiled over like a pasta pot filled with excessive water with every syllable spoken. I remained attentive to Chloe, clenching her to my side, slinking my arm around her waist, ensuring she’s aware her place is beside me and nowhere else. Arriving at the hospital, I inquire for the directions to the lab.

They direct us to the basement, taking the elevator down, we arrive before the lab. Speaking with the nurse, I inquired for the director of the unit, the manager, whoever is in charge, it is of the utmost importance that I speak with them.

Her query was if an issue has arised. I countered with no but made her aware that I required the assistance of the person in charge of the department.

“If you can tell me what it is?”

In the most calm voice I could muster, “No, I need the director please. Thank you.” I attempt to keep my tone as even as possible, my vexation is towards another, displacement is not warranted.

I despise the displacement of anger, however, I’m seeping very close to my boiling point.

A man in a white lab coat appears, “Hello, I’m Dr. Amir the Head of the Clinical Laboratory Department. How may I be of service?”

I take a moment to explain our precarious situation, “ This is a very serious situation. She is claiming this is my child yet I heard nothing of this until today. We need to perform a test to determine if the child is actually mine or not.”

Dr. Amir looks at Selena, “How many months are you ma’am?”

With a shit eating grin, “Seven and a half.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” the edges of her lips pull, eyes sparkle while she sweeps her hand in slow movements across her substantial sized belly.

“We can perform what’s called an Amniocentesis. We will have to give a paralytic to the baby to ensure the baby will not move while we insert a needle through her belly button to extract amniotic fluid to compare your DNA. Since we will be taking some amniotic fluid we can also perform some other tests to check the health of the baby.”

I interject before Selena can request additional testing, “No, that won’t be necessary, we just need the DNA test.”

With a quick nod of the head, “Are you sure you want to do this? This does come with some risk of miscarriage but since you are so far along in your pregnancy it’s very low,” directing his attention to Selena, his eyes focus on her.

Gazing at the doctor as she replies, “Of course. Whatever baby daddy wants he gets.” She waves a hand in my direction evoking a hard roll of my eyes.

“Selena, stop fucking calling me that!”

Her eyes reached the high heavens, a huge smile still plastered on her face. When escorting her for the procedure, I declared my desire for witnessing the process. I need assurance that everything is done properly and with care. I distinctly expressed my inclination to compensate him with an additional $5,000 dollars to have the results back within hours.

I’m painfully aware, remaining idle at this moment is paramount. Understanding my urgency, the doctor agreed to hasten the results, stating they would materialize in two to three hours due to their overwhelming backlog.

Patience is clearly not my virtue, dawdling is a heinous form of persecution in itself. Chloe and I have kept our fingers interlaced since we joined hands at the office. When they performed the amniocentesis, when they drew my blood, everything. A moment has not passed that she was not by my side reassuring her, this is her place, where she belongs.

Perched on the chair next to her in the waiting room, I lean in, mere inches from her ear and whisper, “I can’t wait to get out of here and continue what we started this morning. The next steps to our lives together. You are my only concern.”

Unresponsive, still no emotion, not an utterance, zero eye movement, my chest constricts in agony. I’m unsure how to proceed to comfort her. I’m dubious about how much more of this my heart can withstand. The steps we leaped towards this morning are promising and now– this… this is pure and utter brutality, we just regained an inkling of what was and now it seems we are drifting more and more. I fear I’m losing her all over again.

Two and half hours pass with the doctor finally emerging. Frantic, I rise to my feet accompanied with Chloe by my side as the doctor strolls towards us. With my available hand, he hands me an envelope stating, “Congratulations Mr. Cross. You’re going to be a father.”

At that very moment, our hands relinquished our grasp, cascading to our sides. Twisting to face her, my heart sinks into my stomach, wishing I would be swallowed by a hollowed abyss.

I don’t recall any of this. How could she be carrying my child?

Selena replaces the opportunity to slink over to my side, sliding her hand into mine, “See baby daddy I told you.”

Tugging my hand away. How can this be? What the actual fuck! Trying to grasp Chloe around the waist she inches away from me time and time again. Fuck! Eyes sealing shut, my lips thin. How could we be back to this again?

As soon as we arrived back at the office I kicked Selena out of the car, expressing that we will discuss this at a later time as I have more important matters I need to attend to.

Once she marooned from the car, the awkward silence was deafening, assassinating my heart. I beseech her, “Chloe I’m so sorry. You know I remember nothing from that day. I don’t believe we did anything. She drugged me. I swear I don’t remember a thing.”

Moments– moments of utter silence passed between us, “I haven’t an inkling of what to do at this juncture. I’m conflicted, enraged, fearful even. I’m lost Chloe. I’m unsure how to proceed from here. I just got you back and I feel– I feel like I’m losing you all over again. I don’t want to lose you baby.”

My voice heightens as I continue, “You are critical to my existence.” Noiselessness endures. A thumping in my head loudens and finally, for the first time since Selena showed up, she speaks, “You have more important matters now. I– I–.” Exiting the car, she disappears, my heart in hand.

Chloe

Departing from the vehicle, my mind attempts to capture today’s events. She’s pregnant– with his baby. A world of hurt comes crashing to my chest like a tsunami tumbling buildings on contact. No! That was supposed to be me. We were supposed to have a baby together. Not only was I incapable of saving our baby, he will now share that gift with HER.

What the fuck is happening to my life? How could it be this fucked up? FUCK! How can I ever peer into his light gray eyes? I – I – I, it’s inconceivable, I just can’t. Arriving at his home I gaze at the vastness of his mansion. I envisioned our child. The pitter patter of our child’s dancing feet on the marble floors.

Not Selena’s baby. His baby! The ache in my chest intensifies to a breath snatching rate. I claw at my throat begging for air when bile stings the back of my throat escaping my lips onto the marble floor.

How can this? How can I? What am I? What? I’m at a loss for words. I have no rational thought as I meander into the kitchen, grabbing materials to wipe up the mess I created. With my knees placed on the floor, I keel over in gut wrenching anguish bellowing a screech from the depths of my stomach.

I conclude sleep is needed. Maybe just maybe I will arise from this horrid nightmare. Walking to the room across from Axles bedroom, a compelling emotion of loss washes over me as the door seals shut.

~~~~~~

What the hell?

Axle and Chloe were about to move forward and now Selena is pregnant?

Thoughts? Theories?

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