Eternal Kingdom
Chapter Twelve

*Holy shit.*

I just had an affair. With Lysander. Sanguine One. God of vampires.

My best friend.

And I told him I loved him.

I kept my eyes closed while he cleaned me, utterly humiliated by my actions. He must think I'm a complete slut right now.

He tried to stop me, tried to get me to think it through, but all I could focus on was claiming him, body and soul.

I wanted him, I truly did.

Not just sexually, either. I wanted him to hold me afterwards, to kiss my forehead and tell me how much he loved me, too. But he didn't.

He left.

Trotted out to sea with a bottle of liquor in his hands.

If the sting of Rory's abandonment hadn't been so intense, Lysander would've really wounded my pride.

I had thought that he had feelings for me as well, but maybe I was wrong. I thought back to what he was saying during the act of my infidelity, blushing hot when I recalled his naughty words.

He called me sexy. He said he wanted to put his cock in me.

He kissed me first.

Maybe I was being insecure for no reason at all. He sounded so worried after I made my confession, asking if I would change my mind later as if it would crush him if I did. But if that were the case, why was he over there, instead of here with me?

I swallowed my shame and dragged my ass off the sand, taking graceful steps towards the man who changed me from a faithful mate to a vixen. I tried to listen to his heart, but he had hidden it once again. I stopped just shy of his back, hiding in the shadow cast by the moon.

"Why do you always hide your heart?" I whispered, not knowing what else to say to ease the tension.

He glanced up into the wide expanse of sky above us, taking a swig of brandy from the bottle.

"Are you asking literally or metaphorically, darling?" At least he was still calling me sweet names. But how long could we pretend that nothing happened? And did I want to pretend?

"I don't know what I'm doing, Lysander." I finally confessed, a sudden rush of emotion making me forego my previous inquiries all together. I just needed his help. I felt so lost.

His shoulders slumped, and he casted his eyes downwards.

"It's okay, Aria. I know you didn't mean to say it. We can just forget it ever-"

"No, you asshole!" I shouted, making him jump and turn to me. "Excuse me?"

"I don't know what I'm doing because I DID mean to say it! I'm so lost right now. How could I possibly be in love with another man when I have two men who love me and have sworn themselves to me? Sure, one of them is gone, but Bastion is still at home. Alone. While I was getting off with another man's tongue. I love him, Ly. I do, so much. So why do I have these feelings for you, these feelings that are so strong that I can't ignore them or turn them off like I should? What kind of woman does that make me? I'm nothing but a selfish, dirty wh-"

Before I could get the words out, Lysander had his hand over my mouth, his eyes warning me not to continue with my train of thought.

"Don't." He added vocally as well.

My eyes pleaded with him, scanning his face for some kind of clue that could help me process my feelings. After a few beats, he lifted his hold, allowing me to speak.

"Do you... have feelings for me?" I sounded so utterly pathetic, covered in sand and sin as I waited for validation from a man I had no business pining for. But he didn't seem to care.

Instead of judging me or casting me aside like the worthless mortal I was, he gently cradled my face in his large hands, staring longingly back at me with those glowing blue orbs of his.

"I do. I love you, Aria, but listen. I have no qualms with standing on the sidelines, or being nothing more than a friend to you, just as I always have been. I don't ever want you to be in a position where you feel like your integrity is in jeopardy. You are worth so much more than a secret affair or candid trysts here and there. You deserve to keep your family. Bastion loves you and I would never want to get in the way of what you have."

"So, you don't regret what happened?" I asked timidly. He let out a scoff.

"Hell no, sweetheart. I'm going to be thinking about tonight for the rest of my life. Even knowing that you have feelings for me to any extent fills me with joy, and I will never get tired of hearing you say you love me, distant memory or not." Tears started flowing like waterfalls without my consent, and I covered my face to shield him from my ugly crying. Within moments, however, I felt the warmth of his loving embrace surrounding me, protecting me.

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I wasn't sure what to do. Hearing how Lysander truly felt was relieving and exciting. If things weren't so complicated, I might be able to pursue it.

But they were. I was madly in love with my werewolf mate and even my vampire royal. They meant the world to me, and I couldn't let these sudden feelings of desire for Lysander destroy what we had.

He said he was willing to be on the sidelines. He said he didn't want to make me choose.

But those words only made me love him more.

I always thought that true love was shown by a man's desire to possess me completely, but now I knew that it was the opposite of that. Rory wanted me so obsessively that he was willing to join the dark side to have me, but I felt far from loved with his selfish antics. With Lysander, I had never in my life felt more respected and cherished.

Even if I couldn't have him romantically, I was beyond grateful to still have him standing by my side.

Once my tears subsided, I leaned back in his arms just enough to get a good look at his face. He regarded me with so much affection that it was carrying me high above the waves.

"This isn't some sort of dream or vision, is it?" I asked because it still felt like a fantasy. He chuckled, stirring my desire in the pit of my stomach. That would be a pain to control.

"No. But I must confess that I replace myself asking the same question. I've felt this way for quite some time and I never imagined that you would reciprocate. I always thought you hated me." "That's because you were an asshole." He held his chest, as if I had wounded him.

"Ouch. I think that's an exaggeration."

"Nope." I giggled as he laughed. "But I will say that I'm surprised how incredibly talented you are with your tongue. I guess you've had no shortage of women to practice on, though." I added subtly. Yes, I was trying to hide my concern with this fine specimen of a man who had lived thousands of years' sex life. He must've fucked hundreds of women to get those skills, because that was the best oral I'd ever received.

He bit his cheek, his amusement showing me that he knew exactly what I was getting at.

"There are many rumors about my abundance of sexual partners. Some books even claim I have harems." I flinched at his words, making him laugh and me scowl. "But they are completely fabricated. I am not fond of fucking any girl who throws herself at me. In fact, I hardly ever show myself to mortals at all. So how would I be so promiscuous?"

I guessed he made a fair point. But I knew there were others.

"You told me that you've loved more than one mortal."

He got quiet, his smile slowly vanishing from his face. I hated it.

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"I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me anything. I was just wondering." I mumbled, burying my heated face in his deliciously scented bare chest. He kissed the top of my head, calming my nerves immediately.

"You really liked me eating you out, though?"

This bastard.

I poked him hard in the ribs, and he laughed, tightening his grip around my shoulders the more I tried to pull away.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll stop." He choked out between fits, making me stifle my own laugh. Once the laughter died down, I was forced back into my sober reality.

"You won't tell Bastion about this, right?" I knew it was a low blow, but I really needed to clarify that this would be a secret between us. Bastion would never trust me again if he knew, not to mention he would be incredibly hurt.

"Of course not, Aria. If I didn't value your relationship with him I would've fucked you when I had the chance. I am a lot of things, but a homewrecker is not one." I stood up on my tiptoes so I could place a friendly and appreciative kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you, Lysander. You really are an amazing god. Man. Whatever you are." His snicker vibrated my chest. "Hey, didn't you say you were going to tell me one day?"

"So impatient." He tsked.

"Hell yea, I am. You knew that." I smirked in response. He hummed, running his fingertips up my spine that I just remembered was bare except for my bra.

"Why don't we get you cleaned and clothed. Once we get back home, I'll tell you my story."

"Shit, really?” He nodded and my heart started beating frantically in my chest. He was actually going to share his past with me, and I was over the moon. "But wait, I can't go back like this."

He cocked his head in confusion.

"My mom will be able to smell my come and your scent between my thighs." His mouth formed an 'o' in understanding, and without any preamble, he bent down, lifting me up into his strong arms and walking towards the ocean. "W-what the hell are you doing?"

"Solving the problem." He answered simply, trying to hide his devious smirk.

"Lysander, I swear, if you-" I didn't get the opportunity to finish before I was tossed into the salty waves below, floating peacefully alongside my best friend and one time lover.