Ethereal
Chapter 20

Revelations

A pit of nervousness opened in my stomach. Why were we going back to his room? I had always been curious to see what his room looked like, but I never imagined I’d get to go in and see it for myself. Was he mad that I went topside? It wasn’t entirely my fault – I was just trying to help whoever had been out there. I hadn’t been quick enough though, as the sea most likely dragged them over the railing and into its bottomless depths before I could reach them. It was the only explanation as to where they could have gone, but for some reason that didn’t sit right with me. Something else was going on, and I couldn’t put my finger on what.

Jax opened his cabin door and shuffled me inside the dark room, closing the door quickly behind him as he moved to light the lantern next to his bed. The soft light slowly illuminated the room, casting our long shadows against the walls.

It was much larger than I imagined it to be, though to be fair I have been sleeping in a storage closet for the past several weeks. The room furnished with a decently sized bed with an oak wardrobe next to it, an official-looking desk pressed up on the opposite wall from the bed. There was only one window on the far wall from the door, a fist-sized porthole that let the light from the lightning strikes seep into the room spontaneously. His walls were devoid of decoration, his desk and night table lacking any kind of personal trinkets or pictures. I had spent an embarrassing amount of nights imagining what Jax’s room must look like, and while it lived up to my expectations in a physical aspect, there was a coldness to the room that I couldn’t shake. As though this were all staged for my benefit and mine alone.

I felt Jax move closer to me before I felt him, clearing my head of any and all thoughts instantly.

“Why did you go out on top deck? The storm could have swept you overboard.” He said. Though his words sounded harsh, his voice was soft. He had been worried about me.

Had he not seen what I had seen? I opened my mouth to respond, feeling confused by his question, but an unexpected wave of chills overtook me. Instead of words flowing past my mouth, my teeth began to chatter instead.

Jax cursed under his breath and turned away from me, digging for something in the closet next to the bed. I watched the muscles in his back stretch under his shirt, engrossed in their movements before I shook my head to clear it of such thoughts. I sat down on his bed, my wet clothes soaking into his comforter. When he turned around, he had a blanket and a change of clothes in his hands, concern laced around his eyes.

“Change into these,” he said. I help up a pair of pants and a shirt that two of me could have fit into. “Unless you want to sleep in your wet clothes.” Jax said, seeing my hesitation. I rolled my eyes and stood up. Was I really about to change in front of him? What if he turned around before I was finished?

Another wave of shivers shot down my spine, the chill seeping into my bones in such a way that made my entire body ache. I had only been this cold a handful of times before during harsh winters at the orphanage, and while I somehow managed to always keep myself just warm enough to stay alive, some of the other girls hadn’t been as fortunate. I didn’t have a choice – and I didn’t have a change of clothes back in my room. With a sigh, I fingered the hem of my shirt and began to pull the soaked fabric upwards, until I felt Jax’s eyes on me again.

I looked over at him expectantly, but his eyes never left mine. I cleared my throat and he blinked, looking from my clothes back to me, realization dawning over his face. I fought back a blush that was creeping up into my cheeks and settling in my ears.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, turning around so his back faced me.

I paused for a moment, my nerves almost getting the best of me, before I pulled my shirt over my head and unhooked my bra. I let them fall to the floor in a saggy heap with my pants following suit. For a moment I wondered if I should keep my underwear on and just wait for them to dry, but the chill that was raking up my legs convinced me to discard the entire ensemble. I muscled the pants over my legs and pulled the drawstring as tight as it would go, and the hem of the pants still hung low on my hips. I hope Jax isn’t the pantsing type.

“Okay, I’m done.” I said.

Jax turned around and swept over me from head to toe, his approval leaking into a small smile that turned up the corner of his lips.

“Now it’s your turn,” he said. I gave him a quizzical look. He gestured down to his hands, where he had a bundle of his own dry clothes waiting to be worn.

“Oh,” I said, feeling my cheeks burn even more than they already were. I hoped that the candlelight was low enough that he couldn’t see it. As I turned back around, I heard him chuckle. I waited and listened as several loud thumps of wet clothing were tossed to the floor and to my surprise, I felt a desire to turn and look at him.

Before I could swat away the thought, I felt something warm and hard press up against my back. Without thinking I leaned into him and closed my eyes. Jax seemed to hesitate before trailing his hands down my arms, the rough patches of scarred skin on his palms raised goosebumps down my skin. One hand slid across my stomach and stopped as it settled against my hip, the other picked at the hemline of the shirt Jax had lent me – his shirt. His hands heated my abdomen in a way that made my lungs expand and the air loosen around me. I could no longer hear the rain that tapped against his porthole window or feel the rocking of the ship as it crashed through rough waves. In that moment the world was still, the pause between breaths where I felt content.

Jax shifted his head so his nose was pressed against my cheek, making me lean into him. I lifted my hands so they were touching the soft fabric of his tunic, and I let a small sigh escape from me.

“Tell me why you went topside.” Jax said suddenly.

I opened my eyes, staring at the shape of our shadows morphed together against the wall from the candlelight. Four legs, four arms, two heads – a frightening creature to behold, and yet one that I would gladly become.

I looked over my shoulder at him and gave him an odd look, feeling my eyebrows scrunching down. “I saw someone lying unconscious on the deck. I thought you saw them too – they were in the back corner of the ship up until I got to them. I think a wave must have finally taken them overboard.” I said.

This time Jax gave me an odd look, his eyes narrowing at my words. I waited for him to speak again, but he remained quiet. Finally, realization dawned on me.

“You didn’t see anyone, did you?” I said.

Jax shook his head no.

“Do you think I imagined it then? I swear I didn’t, I really thought I saw someone –“

“I don’t doubt you, Nor. In fact,” he said, stepping so close that our chests were only a hairs width apart, “I think you did see something up there. I’m just not so sure that it was a person, though, or that the ocean carried them overboard.”

“What do you mean?” I said, feeling my blood cool at his words.

“There are animals in the ocean, strange creatures that prey on sailors. I’ve had a few crewmates tell me they’ve seen strange things in the water, heard odd noises while they’ve taken a graveyard shift. I can’t help but wonder if that’s what happened to you.” He said, resting his hand against my cheek. I leaned into his touch, his warmth addicting.

I bit the soft flesh on the inside of my cheek, feeling a deep shiver take over me. Had the person I seen actually been a person, or something else? Like the creatures Jax was talking about? For some reason his answer didn’t sit right with me. It’s not that I doubted his story, but for some reason I don’t think what I saw on deck was a sea creature. Whatever it was that I saw, I was just grateful that Jax didn’t think I was crazy.

Shaking my head, I looked away from him. “It’s been a long night. I should go back to my room.” Whether or not there were malicious sea creatures out there trying to drown me, it didn’t matter now. What I really needed was to sleep – the storm would be over by the morning, and I would be put back to work.

I headed towards the cabin door, turning the door handle open before Jax could try and convince me to stay. The next moment the door was slammed shut in front of me, a surprised yelp escaping my lips as I was flipped back around and saw Jax had me caged in with his arms. He was all around me – the smell of him, his heat, the feeling of his skin against mine. There was no escaping him.

“Every time I get you alone, Mousey, you always try to slip away.” Jax said, leaning down so his nose skimmed the side of my cheek, going as low as my jaw. A sigh escaped me, my head tilting up as I felt goosebumps form over my skin. “But I’m not letting you go this time.”

A burst of courage found its way into my chest. Seizing the moment before it slipped away, I reached up and brushed my lips against his cheek, planting soft kisses from the corner of his jaw to the corner of his lips. My hand gripped the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him down closer to me as his fingers wove themselves into the fabric of my shirt.

Jax was frozen in front of me, my sudden action taking him by surprise as he let me kiss him. I hesitated as I hovered over his lips, indecision wrestling within my chest. After a moment, I pulled away and looked back up at him. His eyes were slowly fluttering open, as though he were waking from a dream.

Regret immediately filled inside my chest as I turned away from him, the feeling of his skin beneath mine made my heart twist painfully. The urge to run overtook my senses, panic lacing my veins as my mind screamed at me to stay with him, but something in my chest told me I had to go. Jax was silent as I let my hand fall and opened the door from behind me, slipping into the darkness before Jax could pull me back into his embrace.