Extracts from The Diaries of 'Professor' Cornelius Crane
October 3rd, 1969

My father came home with the bad news today. Actually he got the newsthree days ago, but only found the courage today to tell my mother.

My father rarely, if ever, partakes of alcohol. But he was clearly,although slightly, inebriated when he told my mother the bad news. Yep, likemost cowards, he had first sought to gather some courage from the bottom of abottle.

Just as I had foretold, Fred Waring got the promotion that Sallinger hadpromised to him.

Another official announcement made, was one of my own. Something I tooneeded courage to make, but not having the luxury of being able to gather it inthe same fashion as my father, I had decided to use the opportunity at hand.

Even the unflinching patience of Miss Fifield was beginning to reflect myown frustration.

Yep, I’ve decided to quit my piano lessons for good!

It was perfect timing! Neither of my parents seemed to have the fortitudeor energy to reprimand or lecture me about all the money wasted on lessons, oron the possibility of great achievements that can only be gained through greatpersistence.

I think it was Clint Eastwood in one of his flicks who said, ‘A man’sgotta know his limitations!’