Extracts from The Diaries of 'Professor' Cornelius Crane
March 15th, 1966

The music boxis back in the window at Fry’s Second-Hands.

My mothersent me to the post office today. She often enters a lot of the competitions inthe papers and magazines and needs stamps to send them off. It’s a pleasure shedelights in, especially the crossword competitions. I sometimes get frustratedknowing the answers that she’s struggling to replace. One day, but not too soon,I’ll be able to help her without raising anymore uncalled for suspicion.

Anyhow, onthe way I was passing the pawn shop and my eye caught the large music box; thesort that has a twirling ballerina that dances whenever you wind it up.

Seeing thatspecific music box brought back a memory.

It had stoodin that same spot in the window for a number of years, and had eventually beenbought by Hannah Marnowijk, the baker’s daughter. I know this for a factbecause she used to babysit me and my brother for extra money. It took a while,but she eventually raised the money. I think she was in her late teens or earlytwenties when she finally purchased it. She had even brought it over to ourhouse to show my mother.

Hannah was asweet kid. She had a sort of unique attractiveness to her. Although she hadbeen born with a cleft palate and hairlip, the doctors had done a good jobpatching her up.

Her motherhad once told mine, “I just wish her father wouldn’t keep treating her as ifshe’s retarded or something. He keeps complaining that she’ll probably be withus for the rest of our lives, but then he won’t even allow her to talk to anyof the older boys in the neighborhood. Especially not since that time…well, Ialready told you about the Sunday School picnic at Lake Lincoln. She’s not dumbor stupid. She knows how to bake all the stuff we sell. And she does a damngood job of it on the days I go to the bridge club. She’s just a little slow,is all.”

That wastrue; mother would never have allowed her to babysit us otherwise.

Although I usedto often frighten Hannah with my rubber spiders and scary masks, she was veryfond of us both. I remember once, while I was watching her change Claude’sdiaper, how she had told me that she couldn’t wait to have children of her own.

“I just hopethey don’t turn out like those Johnson twins that I also babysit.” She hadruffled my hair before adding, “Compared to those two, you’re a perfect angel.”

When I wasabout sixteen, I had inadvertently overheard a conversation between two of mymother’s bridge club members discussing Hannah’s social graces at the newsupermarket.

I loved Hannah as a friend, and although the conversation wasenlightening, the self-righteous way in which it was presented had made myblood boil with anger.

I had prayed for a bus to replace its way over their holier-than-thou,permed heads.

I hadoverheard them in the next aisle between the cereals on their side, and theboxes of cookies on mine.

“You can’t blame her mother for putting her on the pill after thatHollywood character had his way with her.”

“Of course, she doesn’t know what the pills are for. If she did, it wouldbe as if her folks had given her permission to go out there and enjoy herselfwith the whole male population of Sedgefield. Lord help us all if she shouldever discover the truth. If you ask me, it probably wasn’t the only time sheand that Frankie kid had done it either. They probably just got careless thatlast time.”

“Yeah, lust does that to a man; made him even dumber than her. Sorry, Imean slow as her mother has the habit of constantly reminding everyone.”

“Well, honey, I’ll tell you what, she may be slower than all the othergals in town, but when it comes to spreading her legs, ain’t no other ladygonna beat her to the winning line – if you get my meaning?”

“She ain’t no lady, that one.”

“Yeah, well I am, so I’ll refrain from saying what she really is.”

“No, I mean, she appears to be a full-grown woman, but she’s really justa child.”

“Right, and that only makes it worse. Those enormous breasts of hers onlyadd fuel to the fire. They’re like a goddamned neon sign flashing ‘Come and getit!’ I caught Vinnie eyeing her tits the other day at the bakery. He denies it,but I know what I saw. And, I know what he was thinking too.”

“That Hannah is like a bitch on heat. And I mean permanently. We all needto watch our men around her.”

“Isn’t there something we can do?”

“Like what?”

“Have her put away or something.”

“She’s just slow, Dorothy! That doesn’t make her some dangerous babblingimbecile to be locked away – no!”

“I think she is! Dangerous that is! Who knows what she’s capable of doingwith that…insatiable and perverted…appetite. Even our children aren’t safewhile she’s around.”

“Now you’re being ridiculous!”

“Am I? She’s a child remember? And children love to play with otherchildren. Well you just remember what I told you here today when they do decideto put her away somewhere. I just hope to God the damage she causes won’t beirreparable. She could end up marking some poor kid for life.”

“Marking?”

“She could destroy his whole life, you know? Who can tell what sort ofharm a thing like that could do? It might stay with him forever.”

“You’re frightening me, now.”

“And darn right you should be. Never mind Vinnie, I’d be careful aboutsending your little Freddy to the bakery all by himself.”

“But she used to babysit for the Cranes and Johnsons.”

“Well we can just all be grateful that nothing ever happened. At leastnothing that we know about. If you get my meaning.”

“Of course!”

“And don’t be pressing Elizabeth about that either. If she never toldanyone it was for a very good reason!”

“Of course not!”

“Oh, God!”

“What?”

“I saw Connie when we came in.”

“Her son?”

“Yes!”

“What sort of damage can something like that do?”

“Well, I’ve heard it can change their natural desire completely.”

“I don’t understand?”

“Switch it totally around.”

“I still don’t…”

“God, Dorothy, you’re so naïve. How do I put it more plainly?” Shethought for a moment before saying, “Do you know Louis Chamoire?”

“The chemist? Of course!”

“Ever wonder why such a good-looking man never got married.”

“Everyone can see why. It’s quite obvious that…oh, yes, now I understandwhat you’re telling me. You don’t think that Connie is also…you know…like that?Do you?”

“It’s hard to tell. Sometimes these things only stick their ugly headsout later in life.”

“It would kill Beth!”

“For sure! Thank God her husband’s not around anymore.”

“Yeah, poor ol’ Claude.”

“Poor Elizabeth! She’s the one who has to live with it! I don’t know ifshe’ll be able to handle another tragedy in her family?”

They had decided right there and then on my sexual preferences. And ifthat was the way they wanted to see me from then on, I would oblige them inspades.

I had waited for them in the aisle where the ladies underwear and stockingswere on display. I made sure that they thought I hadn’t seen them passing whileI was stretching a lovely frilly panty in front of my waist for size.

I know that they had seen me. I had clearly overheard them as theyrounded the aisle with their trolleys.

“Oh, my God!”

“I know, Dorothy. I saw it! Keep your voice down! Keep moving! I saw it!”

“Oh…my…God.”

“What…did…I…tell…you?”

“I know! I know! Oh…should we tell Beth?”

“Let’s just keep this between us, okay?”

“Well, I’m telling you that if she doesn’t already expect anything’swrong, she’s gonna fall down dead on the spot when she does replace outthat…that…her Connie is… is…oh…my…Gaawd!”

I had managed to make it to the parking lot before exploding! And it hadtaken a good five minutes after that before I had managed to compose myself andwipe away the tears.

The fact that Billy Watson had asked me what it was that I had found sohumorous, had only aggravated the situation.

Although the ladies had given me my best entertainment in ages, it didnot change my negative opinion about them. From that day forward I would seethem, too, with different eyes.

And the same can also be said of my view of Hannah.

Being a bit slow and having a healthy libido is a hazardous combination.

To the predators that prowled Sedgefield, the revelation was a veritabledinner gong.

Johnny Lime, Frankie Hollywood and, the appropriately named, Gavin Wolf,being three prime examples.

She had been caught out with Johnny Lime on, of all things, a SundaySchool picnic. Before that with Gavin Wolf, after her father’s violent anddetermined questioning had revealed the truth about several hickies that thearsehole had chosen to leave on her neck, and later again with Frankie after hetook her for an unscheduled drive into the country in his beat up old Chevy.

After that her mother had put her on the pill, telling her it wasmedication for her asthma. That was what I had managed to gather from herduring a conversation at the bakery.

When I was eighteen, after coming back home from college for a summerbreak, and although the college had been filled with many possibilities tosatisfy a young man’s curiosity of carnal knowledge, I had only, andeventually, lost my virginity to Hannah.

Yep, she had been my first time!

It had happened at the Roxy Theater.

In those days the theaters still had an interval, and it was at thepopcorn counter that Hannah had spied me.

“Connie?” I had turned. “Connie! It is you. Oh, my, look how you’vegrown.”

I blushed a little and quickly led her to one side. She was right aboutthe growth. It seemed strange to look down at her for a change. “Hi, Hannah!How you keeping?”

She was wearing a pink sweater, a gray skirt that just covered her kneesand a pair of flip-flops.

“I’m fine, thanks!” She beamed even more. “I can’t believe you’ve gottenso tall; so tall and so handsome too. I bet you’ve got a hundred girls chasingyou at that college you’re attending?”

“Nah!”

“No?”

“No time for fraternizing around the fraternities. I gotta keep my mindon my studies.”

“Not even one special gal you can call your own?”

“I don’t have time or the money for that. Girls ain’t interested in poor,penniless, schmucks like me. Besides, any spare time I got, I use it to make afew extra dollars washing dishes at a nearby restaurant. What gal in her rightmind wants to date a bloody dishwasher?”

“I would! Especially such a good-looking one. Those girls are stupid.Anyone can tell you’re gonna be plenty rich one day. Then they’ll all besorry!”

“I surely hope that’s the truth?”

“Of course it is. Say, where are you sitting?”

“Well, I was near the front, but I normally move to the more expensiveseats near the back after the interval.”

“That’s what Frankie also does.”

“Frankie Hollywood?”

“Yeah!”

“Are you and him…you know?”

“Nah, I don’t got anyone either. Poppa won’t let me go on dates at night.He don’t mind me coming to the matinee though.”

“Are you alone then?”

“Yeah, you wanna sit with me?”

“Okay.”

“Great, we can sit right at the back.”

After sitting down she asked, “How’s your mom? She must be happy to haveyou home for awhile?”

“I guess.”

“And little Claude?”

“He’s fine too. He’s captain of his baseball team.”

“That’s wonderful!”

“I was never very good at sport.”

“Me too!” Her eyes saddened “I’ve never been much good at anything.”

“Nonsense! You’re the best babysitter that money can buy.”

“Yeah! You’re right. And I’m gonna be the best mom one day too!”

“That ain’t gonna happen unless your father lets you start dating?”

“I guess. But Poppa says boys only got one thing on their minds.” Thenshe bounced in her chair. “Let’s pretend we’re dating. We can hold hands duringthe movie. Would you like that?”

“Okay.”

“Great!” She leaned over and hugged me. “You’re such a great guy, Connie.I know you’re gonna do well for yourself one day. You’re gonna make us allproud.”

During that embrace her large breasts had crushed firmly against me, andas I gazed at her long sensual neck and sloping shoulder, my mind had filledwith dark and passionate desires. I wanted to know…I needed to know if thestories about this girl were true. I resisted a strong urge to kiss the tender,sensitive flesh, and simply breathed in deeply through my nose, taking in theclinically sweet fragrance of her long ash-blonde hair.

She sat back and took my hand firmly in hers. It was almost as if heraction had caused the lights to dim and the flickering projector to startblinking on the screen.

We gave each other a final smile before settling back to watch the movie,and as I shifted myself into a comfortable position, she gave my hand anotherapproving squeeze. It made me feel good.

I recall it being some kung fu flick. Nothing romantic in the least, andyet I was filled with a warm glow of contentment and expectation. It wasstrange to be contemplating an affair with the girl who had once been mybabysitter. Yet at the same time it had imbued me with an expectant excitement.She was much older than me, but most hormonal driven youths have, at one pointor other, fantasized about seducing, or being seduced by, an older woman.

Although I had suddenly lost my appetite, we both nibbled lightly at thepopcorn. Later, after placing the half-full container under my seat, I did theold cough and stretch ploy, placing my right arm on the back of her seat. Igazed down at her left hand that seemed to be seeking the company it had beenholding onto tightly for the past twenty minutes.

A short while later I coughed again and then moved my arm onto hershoulders. She immediately slid her head down onto my shoulder and placed thelonely hand on my knee.

I was afraid she could sense my racing heart as I contemplated my next,and more daring, move.

It was some time before I found the courage to lower my cupped hand overher right breast. She gave no hint of appreciation or disapproval. So, throwingall caution aside, I decided to milk her for an opinion. I began to knead thebaker’s healthy-chested daughter. I had no experience in these matters andfeared I might be rubbing her the wrong way.

Just for an instant I was disappointed as she pulled my hand away fromher breast, but then immediately she popped my thumb inside her mouth and beganto suck it sensually, her warm moist tongue caressing and dancing around it asif it were a sugary treat from which she wanted to extract the maximumgastronomic pleasure.

Up until that moment, I had no idea that there was a direct link betweenmy thumb and my other digit that I affectionately referred to as Mister Winkyfor a good deal of my first life. And I could not recall him ever rising to anoccasion quite as swiftly.

But Hannah knew full-well the effect of her actions. I almost gasped inshock and disbelief as her hand moved expertly from my knee and into the top ofmy trousers. In no time at all her lonely fingers had wrapped around newcompany.

It was I who was first to grunt my extreme approval. She confirmed herswith yet another approving squeeze.

I’m not sure how long I sat in the glow of having my thumb and otherdigit attended to, before she had whispered into my ear, “If you want to we can do it?”

“I want to,but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Then she saidsomething that sounded very profound. I knew the idea was not her own, but itimpressed and excited me tremendously.

She said,“Would you rather be sorry for the things you’ve done, or for the things youcould have done.”

I lookedabout at the other patrons seated close by. “I really want to do it, but itseems highly risky?”

“Not here,silly!”

“What you gotin mind then?”

“Follow me.”

In the foyershe said, “Wait here!” and then disappeared into the ladies powder room. Ashort while later she peaked out of the door and whispered, “Come on, quickly.”I shook my head, but she declared between clenched teeth, “It’s empty. Come nowbefore somebody comes along.” I obeyed and she added, “Go into the first one.That way somebody can only be on one side.”

I went intothe first cubicle and she quickly locked it behind us. I grinned at her.“Something tells me that this is not the first time you’re doing this?”

“I did itonce with Frankie, but that was in the gents on the other side. I didn’t likeit too much though. The place pongs. It’s better here don’t you think?”

“If you sayso? How the hell does one do it in here, anyway?”

“I’ll showyou. Put the seat down.” I obeyed. “Now pull down your trousers and undies andsit down.” I obeyed again. She removed her panties and hung them on the hookbehind the door. She looked down at Mister Winky. He had gone soft. “Stop beingso frightened. We’ll hear right away if somebody comes in.” It took awhile forme to feel at ease. But with her expert touch and continued encouragement,Mister Winky returned to his former self and was duly ready for duty. “Put yourknees together,” she said lifting the front of her dress. She straddled herlegs before sitting down on my lap, facing me. The bulls-eye found the arrowfirst time, and we both sighed our appreciation of her archery skills.

I instantlyrealized that there was absolutely no comparison between this and all the timesI had relieved myself with the assistance of girly magazines.

This was it!This was the real thing. And I would never have considered a cubicle in theladies powder room at the Roxy to be paradise. And yet, here I was in myseventh heaven.

She began toreciprocate her wide hips, and I watched as she closed her eyes, experiencingher own, as well as shared, rapture.

I had manyfond memories of the many times I had frequented the Roxy, but that wouldbecome, by far and large, my fondest of them all.

I am notashamed to say that Cornelius Crane, at age eighteen, finally lost hisvirginity in the ladies room at the Roxy Theater.

About tenminutes later we heard the door squeak open, and Hannah stopped her rhythmicmotion.

It wasn’tnecessary, but she held a finger to her lips.

We sat in oursilence staring at each other, listening to the sounds of the person that haddisrupted our pleasure.

I felt myheart beating fast as I throbbed slowly inside Hannah. She smiled at me andleaned forward. I felt her full lips on mine. We kissed for awhile before shesat back again. Then she pulled her sweater off over her head, leaned furtherback and hung it on the same hook as her panty.

I gazed inadmiration at her healthy chest, concealed now only by her bra. She leanedforward again, but this time she whispered in my ear, “Undo me.”

I moved myhands from her thighs, where they had been resting ever since she had sat down,to behind her back.

I had neverundone a bra strap before, and it took awhile to figure out the…catch. I feltmore a sense of accomplishment at my achievement than the fact that my view wasabout to improve exponentially. That feeling soon passed as she again sat back,catching the item of clothing in her waiting hands. I returned my hands to herthighs and gazed approvingly at her enormous assets.

She placedthe bra on the hook before taking my hands in hers. Then she lifted and crushedthem firmly against her exposed chest. I felt Mister Winky give an involuntaryspasm. She felt it too and smiled her approval.

There was asound of flushing water and a cubicle door opening. This was followed by waterrunning in a basin, then the clickety-clack of women’s shoes on bathroom tiles,and finally the sound of the door squeaking open and shut again.

We sat still,for almost a minute, listening for any further sounds. I could just barely hearthe muffled sound of the movie’s soundtrack. It was a man’s voice.

Hannah wasfirst to break the silence.

“I wanna tellyou a secret, Connie Crane.”

Her voice seemedto resonate too loudly through the room, and I waited ten seconds beforesaying, “Yeah?”

“First yougotta promise me that you’ll never tell another living soul?”

“Sure.”

“No,promise?”

“I promise,okay?”

“No! Pinkyswear, as well.” I obliged and she narrowed her eyes at me. “Lightning willstrike you dead now if you ever tell. You hear?”

“I won’t,ever.”

“Good!” Shepondered on how to begin telling me the secret, and by the blush on her cheeks,I knew it was going to be something…exceptional. She released my hands, butthey magically clung to where she had placed them. Then her face veiled overwith a serious cast as she brushed my fringe out of my eyes and gazed deeplyinto them. “I always wanted for this to happen. I always wanted for us to makelove. Did you know that?”

“No,” Ianswered almost indifferently. I was flattered and disappointed. “Is that thebig secret?”

“I just wishwe could do it more romantically. I would love to do it with you on one ofthose big four-poster beds, with silk sheets and flower petals all around.” Shewas gazing up at the ceiling, but by her expression I knew that she only, andvery clearly, saw exactly what she had described.

I think I mayhave had a hint of irritation in my voice when I repeated, “Is that the bigsecret.” By the increase in the blush I knew that it had not been.

“Do youremember when you were very young how I used to tease you and tell you that youmust grow up quickly because I wanted to marry you?”

“No.”

“No?” sheseemed extremely disappointed. “You were always such a bright young kid. I wassure you’d remember. It always made you so embarrassed and angry. It made melaugh so. You always used to say that girls were ugly and stupid, and that youwere never gonna marry – ever. I asked you if you thought your mother was uglyand stupid, and you said, ‘Of course not! Don’t be silly!’ Then I asked you ifyou thought I was ugly and stupid, and you also said, ‘Of course not, but I’mstill not gonna marry you.’ So I asked why and you said, ‘Because you’re myfriend and friends can’t marry each other. Friends aren’t allowed to do allthat mushy, kissy stuff that married people have to do.’ So I said, ‘Alright,then I’ll stop being your friend so we can get married and do all that mushykissy stuff. I’m a girl and I want to have all that sort of romantic stuff andhave my own kids one day too.’” Hannah now saw something else where the ceilingwas. “We used to have the best conversations when I was bathing you. It was theonly time you’d sit still.”

“You used tobath me?”

“You don’tremember?”

It was myturn to blush. “God, this is so embarrassing. The first time I get to…be with agirl, and it just happens to be the one who bathed me as a kid. How old was I?”

“I’m your firsttime?” There was surprise and pride in her tone.

“Yeah, so?”

“Really?”

“I said,‘Yes!’ Can you let it go now, please?”

“I’m so happyto be your first time. No wonder you were asking how to do it.” She giggled andadded, “I can also tell you never took off a lady’s bra before.”

“Well, Iain’t ever read any manuals on ‘How to do it in a cramped cubicle,’ or ‘How toremove a lady’s underwear in three easy steps.’”

She giggledsome more. “There ain’t any books like that, silly!”

I returned tomy question. “How old was I? Doesn’t this also seem a little weird to you now?I mean, screwing the kid you once bathed?”

“Don’t talklike that! It ain’t proper! We’re…making love.”

“When you doit in a four-poster bed with silk sheets and flower petals, it’s called makinglove! When you do it in the ladies room at the Roxy it’s called screwing,okay?”

Her eyes hadwelled up before she blurted, “I thought you were different from the otherguys, but you’re just like that Frankie Hollywood. You don’t mind hurting myfeelings, just as long as you get your screw. And when it’s over you can’t waitto get away from me as soon as possible.” I felt awful as the tears ran downher cheeks.

“I’m sorry,Hannah! I would never mean to hurt you on purpose. I’m really very sorry. Pleaseforgive me. I’ll never talk bad about you again. I promise!”

“Yeah?” shesaid wiping her face.

“Neveragain!”

She smiled. “I’m also sorry that I said you’relike the other guys. I was just cross. I know you’re a good guy, Connie! Do youforgive me, too?”

“Of course!We’re friends remember? And friends always forgive each other.”

“Do you stillthink that friends can’t do all that mushy kissy romantic stuff?”

I pulled herto me and kissed her long and passionately. Afterwards I asked, “Does thatanswer your question?”

“Answer itsome more!” I obliged. When we came up for air she said, “I guess about four orfive or thereabouts?”

“What?”

“You wereprobably about four or five years old when I used to bath you!”

“Shit!”

“No more foullanguage, Connie Crane!”

“Sorry, butdon’t you feel just the least bit strange scre…making love to a guy who wasonce a kid that you used to babysit and bath?”

“It doesn’tbother me now at all because you…turned me on…back then already.” Then shehastily added. “I know it was wrong what I did, but I was also much younger atthe time. And you know that I’m not all that bright either. You know mamma saysI’m slow.”

“Turned youon? What did you do?”

“You reallydon’t remember?”

“No!”

“Justremember that you promised not to tell!”

“What did youdo?” My irritable tone had changed to anger.

“Please don’tbe angry, Connie?”

“What did youdo?”

“One night Iwas bathing you, and like all the other times, I knelt on one of the couchcushions to be more comfortable. I was soaping you all over, and you wereplaying with your frogman and splashing me wet as you loved to do. You sure youdon’t remember?”

“No! Go on?”

“Well, I wasbusy washing your Mister Winky. You remember what you used to call your…”

“I still callit that at times?” We laughed, and for a moment the tension was eased. “Go on?”

“Well,suddenly Mister Winky started to go all hard in between my fingers. You hadnever done that before. And the more I washed the bigger and harder he got. Iwas surprised that you were still playing with your frogman and didn’t seem tocare at what was happening. Anyhow, it did affect me. I couldn’t help it, butit did. It felt as if someone had lit a fire inside me. You even asked why myface was so red. Don’t you recall that?”

“And?”

“I suddenlyfelt an irresistible urge to touch myself at the same time.”

“And?”

“I did,” shesaid turning bright red. “I slipped my other hand under my dress, and began topleasure myself whilst washing your Mister Winky. I couldn’t remember a timewhen touching myself had ever felt so good before. I just kept doing it whileyou kept playing and splashing.” She laughed again. “I can’t believe you don’tremember it, because you got such a fright when I screamed.”

“You screamedat me?”

“Not at you!You know, when I reached the…the…the good part where it feels really good. Onlythat time it was really, really good! I couldn’t help myself it felt so good.”She chuckled yet again before saying. “I shouldn’t laugh, because you were soshocked. Oh, shame, you were so frightened.” She stifled her next giggle beforeadding, “I told you that I was sorry, and that there was nothing to worryabout. I had just gotten a cramp in my foot was all.”

I had asudden realization and blurted out, “And I thought that you had said that acrab was pinching your foot?”

“Yes! That’sright! You do remember!” she said excitedly.

“Yeah,” Isaid frowning. “Strange, I always connected that memory with my mother.”

“No, it wasme. Do you also remember jumping up and peering over the edge of the tub?”

It was myturn to laugh. “I do! I was so damned disappointed when there was no crab.”

“Yeah, youcalled me a big fibber. It was so funny I just kept laughing while you keptcomplaining. You still weren’t happy when I told you I had said cramp. I guessyou must have really wanted to see a crab?”

“Of course,all little boys love crabs.”

“Ew, why’sthat?”

“Because wecan scare little girls with them.”

“You used toterrify me enough with your rubber spider. And I wasn’t even little anymore.”

“Now that Iremember very clearly. You always used the ice tongs to get a hold of it andhide it away.”

“Yeah, youused to try and use it to get your way. You were a clever little rascal.”

“I’m still aclever rascal. But I ain’t so little anymore.”

She adjustedmy fringe again. “You’ve grown into a fine young man.”

“I wasactually talking about my Mister Winky.”

“That hasgotten bigger too. A lot bigger. When I put my hand inside your trouser insidethe theater I couldn’t believe how much it had grown. It immediately made meremember the time I had given you that bath. And when I felt it was all hard, Ihad that same fire inside me again. That’s when I asked you if you wanted to doit.”

“So, the bigsecret was what you did to yourself that day just before the crab got a hold ofyour foot?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’tthink you did anything wrong?”

“That stilldon’t mean you can tell anyone. My Poppa would kill me if he ever knew.”

“What aboutwhat we’re doing now?”

“Of course!You mustn’t ever tell anyone about this. I know you guys love to brag! Please,don’t tell anyone!”

“I’m not likethe other guys, remember?”

“I know!Sorry!”

“How old areyou now, Hannah?”

“I’ll betwenty seven next month.”

“And you’restill so scared of your father?”

“He says thatas long as I’m staying under his roof, I gotta abide by his rules.”

“Why don’tyou move out then?”

“Nobody’sever gonna give someone like me a job. Anyway I’m happy working for Poppa atthe bakery.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Well, oneday when I’m rich, I’ll buy you that four-poster bed with silk sheets and I’llthrow flower petals all around before making love to you, okay?”

“I can’twait!”

“Until thenwe’ll just have to make love at the Roxy.”

“It ain’t sobad, is it?”

“That alldepends!”

“On what?”

“On whetheror not you’re planning to scream at me again?”

“I hope not!I don’t want the theater staff rushing in here thinking something’s wrong.” Theblush returned to her face with a vengeance before she confessed. “I dunno? Itmight happen? Oh my goodness, Connie. What will we do if I can’t help myself?”

“Just tellthem a crab got a hold of your foot.”

We both hadtrouble stifling our laughter.

I guess I wasn’t much better than the other guys who had taken advantageof her. In fact, I felt pretty awful afterwards, even though we would do itagain several times.

My grandfather, who had no trouble calling a spade – a spade, once toldme that, ‘When that brain between a man’s legs talks, it’s difficult to hearany other voice of reasoning.’ He had added, ‘We even shut out that morelogical cry on purpose, and fool ourselves that a guilty conscience is worththe trouble of a few moments of pleasure.’

Hell, the planet would be far less populated if more men had listened tologic, instead of that primal call of the wild.