Chapter 0134

I dash from the room, pounding down the stairs that lead to the second floor, my mind set on nothing but the safety of my room,my bed, my closed door —

But as I turn onto the second-floor landing, I slams into someone coming up the steps from the house’s first level.“Whoa! —“ the person says, gasping in surprise and perhaps a little pain. “What —*

Frantic, I work to push beyond them, feeling and seeing nothing beyond the tears in my eyes that stream down my cheeks. I’m abit feral now, like a rabbit doing anything it can to get back to my warren — I’ve just got to get inside, where I can be alone —

“Fay,” the voice says, worried and stern. He grasps me by my shoulders and I gasp, looking up, shocked to see Kent's face —But no, a face like Kent's, but softer, younger — Daniel.“Fay, are you alright?” he whispers, urgent. “What’s — why are you wearing that?”

I look up at Daniel, my mouth hanging open, not knowing what to say. My eyes flick to the door to my bedroom — there’s no partof me that wants to have this conversation now. I just — I can’t.

“I have to go,” I mumble, pushing past him. I hear him call after me but I ignore it. There’s a little guilt in me at this — I know that Ihaven't been fair to Daniel in all of this — but the guilt isn’t strong enough to fight my panic, my fear, my desire to just be alone.

I look once over my shoulder at Daniel as I push open my door, see him looking towards the stairs up to the third floor, puttingthings together. Does he even know what his dad has up there?

Before I can see what Daniel does next, though, I press my door shut, leaning against it and closing my eyes, panting a little.The dark of my room washes over me like cool water and I feel my shaking body start to ease, my pounding heart lighten.

I stand there for a long time, my forehead pressed against the door, my breath huffing hot against the white paint, my mindabsolutely reeling. But as the minutes pass, and as I lean into the safety of my room, I’m able to start to put words to myemotions.

God damn it. God damn it. What the hell just happened?

I push myself up and away from the door, starting to put the pieces together. Flashes of it come back to me as I move to my bed,unlacing the corset and letting it drop to the floor. Kent standing in the doorway, looking at me like a wolf at his supper. Kentwrapping a leather cuff around my wrist. Kent pressing his hand between my shoulder blades and pulling my hips back againsthim —

Kent moving his hand, his fingers, down the slick center of me —

I push my panties to the floor now, stepping out of them and standing naked in my room, my own hand drifting downwardtowards the place where Kent touched me only a few minutes ago —

Minutes, really? Was it that short?

Nobody had ever touched me like that. And as much as it terrified me, and as much as I wasn’t ready for it to happen like that —chained to the wall, his to command —

There was certainly a part of me that...liked it? Maybe. I sigh, confused.

Even as I push myself to figure out how I feel, the strain and confusion of the situation washes over me. I sigh, heading for mywardrobe, wanting the comforting feel of cotton pajamas against my skin — not all of this silk and boning and laced-up restraint.

As I pull on a t-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts, I consider that at the heart of it, of the whole evening, the central fact was that itwas terrifying for me.

And perhaps it’s just me being a baby— being so naive, and romantic, andsheltered. But as mugh as it comtimeschives me pleasure and athrill to defy Kent, and to push him,and to drive him beyond his point ofcontrol — I am not sure I want to havesex like that. Please read the originalcontent at .

At least not the first time. Because there was something about the feeling of giving up control to him that, at some moments,felt...good?

But it went too far. I don’t want to have sex that scares me, that makes me cry. I just want...well, I suppose I want to be held. Andcomforted. Because losing your virginity is scary enough — I’m not sure chains need to be added to the equation.

I'm staring passively into thewardrobe, lost in my thoughts, whenmy eyes fall on it. I pull yan'¢jaoketler its plage pallea Op in the backcofner, where I'd tucked it maybe anhour ago. God, an hour, is that how itreally took for my world to turnupside down like that? Please readthe original content at.

I pull the jacket on, wanting itscomfort and the memories of theparts of tonight that were so

tuck my ose aganste” Sao sclara d take a deep ae of lvan’swarm and spicy scent. It’s strange,that two men who are so similar onpaper can make me feel socompletely different on the samenight. Please read the originalcontent at .

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