Falling For The Girl I Bullied
Chapter 105

Kyle’s P.O.V. (Continued)

I could feel the trembling in her body. She was getting angry once again. I didn’t know why she was that angry but I knew one thing clearly here and that was that this anger was completely due to me. “Let me go, Kyle”, she whispered again while trying to remove her wrist but I pulled her to me. She placed her other hand on my chest to keep steady herself. I wrapped my other hand around her waist and stopped her from going away from me. She stopped struggling and stayed still in my embrace. She was looking at my chest while blinking hard. Her lips were trembling indicating that she was holding herself hard.

“Why I should stop, Violet?” I asked her in a soft and gentle tone. She gulped hard but didn’t look up at me. “Answer me, Violet. Why I should not ask you to be my girlfriend?” I asked her again in the same gentle tone still looking at her face. “B… because … you know my an… answer already”, she answered me while stuttering a little and started fidgeting with my t-shirt’s cloth. It was her habit. Whenever she got nervous or anxious, she started fidgeting with anything which is near to her fingers. “Do you like someone else?” I asked her in a gentle but stiff tone. “What? No?” she immediately replied to me with a frown on her face. I breathed out in relief. I dreaded what I was supposed to do if she liked someone else than me. I couldn’t see her with any other boy.

“Then why we can’t be together?” I asked her and she bit her lower l*p. She didn’t know how I was feeling right now. My heart was about to come out of my chest any time soon due to anxiety. She must know that I am not the same boy I was before. Of course, I was still possessive over her and got jealous easily whenever I saw her with any other boy but now I wanted to accept what I actually felt for her. “We…. We can’t be together… b… because.. I don’t want to”, she answered me but her answer made me frown. “And why is that?” I asked her again still frowning. I saw her closing her eyes and she grabbed my t-shirt over my heart. She didn’t answer me immediately and her silence was now killing me.

“B… because it hurts so much… here”, she spoke in a very soft and painful voice while patting my chest over my heart. “What?” I didn’t understand her answer and asked her in confusion. She looked up this time and I saw tears in her eyes. There was so much pain in her eyes as if someone had sentenced her to death. “Because it hurts when… someone close to you.. leave you alone to … to… mend your own wounds…because it hurts when someone dear to you… leave you alone to chase their own dreams….. because… because it hurts when … when .. you suddenly replace th.. that you are alone and no one is there for you… no one is there for you to comfort you when you are scared and sad. No one is there for you to tell you that you are not alone and he will be with you when you want to have someone beside you”, she choked on her own voice and tears started pouring down her eyes. She was hitting my chest over my heart with every word she said. It was enough for me to feel badly she was hurt.

I left her wrist and cupped her face immediately. “Violet… listen”, I wanted to tell her that I was not going to leave her but she stopped me by putting her finger on my lips. “You listen to me, Kyle… please…. This time… listen to me”, she pleaded and I gulped down the lump that formed inside my throat. She was rejecting me not because she didn’t like me. She was rejecting me because she was scared of being in a relationship with anyone. I realized how badly she was hurt by what her parents did to her. “I …. I am already broken, Kyle.. and… and a damaged good doesn’t worth anything”, she spoke further but her words stabbed my heart badly. I wanted to tell her that she was thinking wrong but she still had her finger on my lips.

“I … I am already broken beyond repair, Kyle… a… and you… you need someone who … who can sta… stay stronger beside you… wh.. who can.. h.. help you in fighting your battles… and… and I am not that girl… I ..I (she chuckled mockingly)… I can be a subje… subject of fun b… but I … I can’t be… can…don’t ask me to feel something that can break me more… do… don’t break me more, please”, she sobbed aloud this time and lowered her eyes. She was saying everything while looking straight into my eyes and it was the most painful moment of my life. The pain in her eyes was so immense that I felt suffocated. I felt pathetic because I was also a reason that she was so heartbroken.

She sobbed holding my t-shirt and I put her head on my chest right over my heart. “We… we can’t be together …. Be.. because our worlds are different, Kyle. You … and.. me… we… can”, before she could say anything, I cupped her face again and made her look up at me. The tears had stained her whole face but that was not my concern right now. “You are wrong, love… you are wrong here”, I said in a firm and gentle tone, looking straight into her eyes. She was sobbing aloud while looking at me with painful eyes.

“I accept whatever you said, princess. I am not going to argue about anything you said right now”, I said in gently while stroking her cheek. I gulped down that invisible in my throat once again. I was also overwhelmed but I had to show my sincerity and this was my chance. “Okay… you… you said that… you are broken, right?” I asked her in the same gentle tone. She blinked to confirm and took her lower l*p in between her teeth. I took a deep breath still stroking her cheek with my thumb. “Then let me take care of you. We don’t belong to the same world? Then let me enter your world”, I paused when she started shaking her head again.

“Listen to me, princess…. You asked me to listen to you first… I listened to you… now it’s your turn to listen to me”, I held her face firmly inside my palm. She didn’t say a word but sobbed aloud. I could feel that her heart was completely filled with sorrow and grief. She had to vent everything out of her chest. “You know me…. You know how stubborn I am and also… I am not good at expressing my feelings”, I chuckled in the end and a small smile appeared on her lips too. I jerked my head a little and then looked at her lovingly.

“No matter how broken your heart and soul are, love. You are mine to take care of and you are mine to amend. I can’t promise you moon and stars but”, I paused and took a deep breath once again. “I can promise one thing that I will not leave you alone… not in this life span. I … I can’t tell you what I can give you in the future because we both know that our future is unpredictable… but”, I gulped again and smiled. “I can promise you that you will replace me whenever you will need someone to be with you. You will replace me to comfort you and to make you feel safe and loved. I … I agree that I also have some dreams to achieve… everyone has… but I am not going to leave you to achieve them… because no dream is more important than you, princess. You are precious… precious to me more than anything in this world”, I said everything that I had in my heart with all my sincerity.

She didn’t say a word again but looked at me while blinking hard. It was good that she had stopped crying. “I am sorry, Kyle…I… I… (she stuttered but her reluctance broke my heart into million pieces at that very instant)… I.. I want to trust your words… I want to trust you but… I know myself… this fear… here (she patted her chest this time)… this is bigger than everything. I… I don’t want to live in this fear all the time that you will leave me alone. One day… you will get bored with me and then.. you will feel that I am not th… the right girl for you… I don’t want to live in this fear and”, she paused and breathed sharply.

“One day you will be mine, princess. Trust me. I want to be with you because I know that you are the perfect girl for me and I know myself well too. If I want you then I will do everything to make you accept me, princess. I am persistent and at the same time, I am patient too. I will wait for you to accept me because I know that you love me too and soon you will accept me, I can guarantee you”, I kissed her forehead after finishing what I wanted to say to her in a determined and firm tone. “I know now what I need to do. I have to make you believe that not everyone is like the people you met earlier”, I spoke again still having my lips on her forehead. I didn’t want to mention her parents and that was why I used an indirect way to point at them.

She tightened her grip on my t-shirt but didn’t say a word. “Take your time to think about us, princess… just don’t run away from me and nor push me away from you. I can’t stay away from you”, I pleaded to her this time. She was still in my embrace and I was glad that she didn’t try to go away from me again. We both stayed in a state of silence for a while. I gave her time to collect herself. I could hear her sniffing from time to time but didn’t stop her. “I am tired”, she whispered after some time. “Have some rest then”, I replied to her and then kissed her forehead one more time before releasing her from my embrace.

Her eyes were half closed. Her emotional outburst was enough for her mental health. I made her lie down on Ethan’s bed and then tucked her inside the cover. She snuggled into the pillow while whimpering a little. I removed her hair from her face and sat down beside the bed on my toes. “Will you stay?” she asked me in a timid and hoarse voice. “I am here… when you will wake up… you will replace me here”, I comforted her keeping a small smile on my lips. She nodded and then closed her eyes. I gently stroked her head until her breath became even. “Is she okay?” I heard Ethan asking me in a worried tone.

“No… she is not”, I told him truthfully in a stiff tone. I didn’t know how much he heard because he was standing right outside the door. I heard him taking a deep breath and then he put his hand on my shoulder. I didn’t say anything just kept on stroking her head. “I am sorry that I eavesdrop”, he said in a low tone and I chuckled dryly. “I knew that you would”, I said and then looked behind at him. He had an apologetic look on his face. I stood up slowly after pulling the cover to her shoulder. She stirred a little but didn’t wake up. It was good for her if she sleeps for a while. She would feel better after that. Her mind was facing emotional turmoil right now, and it was not good for her.

“Noah and Dustin are coming back and then we will go for breakfast. I am sure that she will be hungry when she wakes up. So, we have to keep something for her”, he said and I nodded. I sighed and then ran my fingers through my hair. “She will soon open to you, Kyle… trust me.. she likes you, and that I can say”, he comforted me in a confident tone and I lowered my head while shaking a little. “I know”, I whispered and then looked at her face once again. Tears had stained her whole face and she was still restless in her sleep because her forehead still had some lines. “Since our childhood, we were together in everything even when you bullied her, we were together. Now, you want to pursue her and I will help you in this matter too”, Ethan spoke again in a firm tone giving me his support and strength. I smiled while looking at him. He smiled back and then we both looked back at the angel sleeping in front of us.

All of us are broken from the inside in one way or other. It’s just we don’t show it to the world because all of us are scared of being mocked by others. She didn’t hesitate when she described herself as a damaged good, because she had accepted this fact as her reality. I needed to change her perspective on life. I have to show her that she still has a long way to go with life and there is so much happiness for her hidden in the future. We can’t change our past but we are responsible for our present and future. I know one thing she is my future and I will make sure that she will not call herself a damaged good again.