Figment of Dreams
Closure

Lux

I was in the Maddox Estate Library. Reading up on Wolvaby’s and Faerie. I had been at it for over a week now. Needing to know more about my connection to Leo. Oak was doing the same thing in his library at the Briareve estate and we kept in contact about our progress.

Jax heavy footsteps from his combat shoes sounded in the library like gunshots. I glanced upwards, unimpressed. He had told Baylor yesterday about his mating mark and about me. It had been a tough conversation to have. Yet, Baylor had not run for the hills. I did not understand how you could be with someone who wasn’t your mate. For a Rainer that was something holy and sacred. People kill themselves over it, as Raina had done over Oak.

‘Any luck?’ his blonde mane was unkempt. He had trouble sleeping, anticipating a pending breakup from Baylor. Now that it hadn’t happened, he was lost in his own thoughts. I had made it clear to him that we would never be. That was the first conversation I had, on the next morning after Leo had died.

I raised my eyebrow. ‘Not much…. Just some really interesting facts. Did you know that Wolvaby’s are one of the five ancient creatures? Like the dinosaurs were for us on Earth?’

Jax nodded. ‘Yeah, I knew. They are legendary here.’

I shrugged. That figures.

‘So how’s Baylor doing?’ I had not had much contact with the girl in the last year, but we had always been cordial. Since she was part of the Olive, Bronn, and Nexxar group now because of Jax, I kind of had to be kind to her. She felt the same about me. A necessary friendship.

‘We’re going to the Skating Rink at Madison’s later.’

‘That sounds good. She is really not making a big deal out of this, is she?’

Jax sighed and sat down. Picked one of the books up and fidgeted with it. ’It’s not uncommon here, Lux. There are many Rainers who never replace their mates at all. They have to move on. They have a right to love. Baylor, like many others, is not sure she will ever replace her mate.’

‘Yeah, but it’s a little different when your partner has already found his, isn’t it?’

Jax stared at me. Frowning. ‘I’ve known for a long time Lux. A very long time. Everything gets better in time. It really is true. You will see for yourself when you have less contact with Dominic.’

I sighed. Because I knew it was true. The pain I was feeling now was similar to the one I felt when Jax had left me. I had figured out it was because of the soul bond. It all made sense in the end. Yet, it didn’t change anything for me. I loved him more than I had loved anyone in my life. I’m not sure my love for my current mates is even up to par with what I felt at fourteen for Jax Skylar. Nothing might ever be that intense. He was my first love. My first heartbreak. He will never be ever again.

‘You could have told me, Jax.’ I added sadly. I would have made things so much easier. So much….

‘It would have changed everything. You know I could not have.’

He was right. The moment I had known I wasn’t human and that he was my mate.

My whole life would have changed.

We stared at each other. The two of us. Mates for life, yet we will never be. It will never happen.

He rose silently and left the study.