Figment of Dreams
Duty

Nearly eight weeks later, against better judgment, Kai and I had become friends. Sort of. In a few classes he always searched me out, and we ate lunch together with Malin. He had this sarcastic sense of humor I really appreciated and for some reason, I had opened up to him. He kept on flirting with me, calling me nicknames. I didn’t mind it anymore, maybe because nobody had done anything for me in so long I kind of craved the attention a little bit. He was also hot. I wished every day to not replace him attractive anymore but that didn’t happen, it was exactly the opposite.

’So are we doing the Parkson Party this weekend baby?′ Kai was walking me back to the lockers and carrying my heaviest books. He was also quite a gentleman. ‘I don’t really do parties.’ I raised my eyebrow at him. He was wearing designer jeans, with a tight dark grey Henley. His tall frame towered over me as usual. He was one and a half heads taller than me and sometimes I had to stand on my tiptoes to gossip quietly to him. I could tell he always found that cute.

’Come on baby, Malin wanted to go as well. I can’t just go with Malin…’ he waved at her name as if it was an annoying fly. ‘If you’re not there it’s not as cool.’ He seemed to really mean it. He put my books in the locker and stretched his long fingers. ’I’ll be there to protect you from the evil Skylars.’ He made an evil sorcerer hand gesture with the accompanying sounds. That’s what he liked to call my neighbors.

He had been to my house to study and watch movies a few times. Even though he had tried, not aggressively, but still he had tried, to kiss me now and then. We were mostly hanging out as friends. He somehow knew my pace and that I was going through some things. He also knew the Skylars had a lot to do with it. He didn’t push and I appreciated that. I was starting to like being in his company. A lot.

‘They will be there? Then it is a hard no…’ I sighed and slammed my locker shut a little harder than I had intended.

’Yeah, since Miro is dating.. or screwing the youngest Parkson girl, they will probably all be there.’

‘Kai, I can’t go… I just won’t.’ My voice broke.

’Baby, are you ever going to tell me what they did to you? My mind has taken me to some very awful places thinking about this.’ He was always serious about this particular subject, it pissed him off and I could tell.

‘I will tell you someday, but not today.’ My voice was small, a pang of hurt coming back to me by just thinking about Jax and that day. I suddenly felt really small and the mood dropped. Kai instantaneously noticed. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. ’I won’t let them get to my favorite human, you know that right.’ I just nodded, feeling an overwhelming sadness coming up at the comfort Kai was giving me.

Jax had been the one to protect me from everything, and comfort me when I felt sad. For so many years, we had cried together and he would always know the right things to say to make me laugh again.

When mom died he had stayed in my room for days, just hugging me and whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

I suddenly had to push back tears. For the realization that I still missed the bastard and I would give my left arm to have him back in my life again. I hated myself for still feeling like this. I just missed him so much. Four years later and I still hurt. I was so angry at myself for not being able to let him go. A party with Kai might be the place to start. I wasn’t getting over Jax by staying inside. I cleared my throat and stepped out of his embrace. ‘It’s cool… I’ll go.’

‘Seriously baby? That’s great!’ he picked me up and spun me around the hall, nearly knocking one of the band geeks over. As I was spinning I saw Jax in the corner, shooting daggers with his eyes at us.

What was his problem with me?