Foul Ball
Chapter 36: Macey

The splitting pain in my head woke me the next morning, and I groaned and rolled over, realizing I'd been drooling into Jayce's pillow. I was tucked under the covers, hiding my head from the sunlight that was streaming into the room. My mouth tasted disgusting, like old liquor and bile.

I shoved the blanket from my head and sat up, realizing that I was In Jayce's bed, dressed in one of his old t-shirts and sweatpants, and Jayce was nowhere to be seen.

Fumbling for the cell phone I spotted on the dresser next to the bed, I checked for any missed messages along with the time. My appointment to see the doctor was in less than an hour. "Shit," I mumbled, nearly knocking over the tall glass of water Jayce had left for me, along with a hand-scribbled note and a couple of Excedrin for my head. I picked up the note to read it.

I didn't want to wake you, because I know how tired you've been. Drink some water and get to your appointment, I will see you tonight. Love, Jayce

I reached for the glass of water and took a big drink, trying to ignore the nausea rolling in my stomach. I popped the tiny pills and then rolled out of bed and hurried to dress into clean clothes, folding up Jayce's note to stick it in my pocket for safekeeping. I grabbed my jacket and shoes by the door and left the apartment, hurrying downstairs to grab some coffee and a muffin before I headed to the hospital. I hoped, if anything, it would ease the dizziness I felt swimming around in my head.

It didn't take me long to get to ESM, and I parked the car and walked into the building, heading for the ER first to check in with Rowan, who lit up when she saw me.

"Hey, sis," she said. "What brings you in dressed in civilian clothes?"

"I'm meeting with a doc," I said, pulling out my phone to pull up the note I had typed his name down in after the phone call last night. "Fisher Hudson?"

"Doc Hudson?" Rowan repeated, nodding her head. "Sure. He's on the third floor."

"Third floor?" I repeated. "Oncology?"

"That's right," said Rowan, and her eyes narrowed a little bit, as if it was just dawning on her. "Macey, is everything okay?" she asked, standing up from the office chair she'd been parked in front of. "It's fine," I said quickly, backing towards the elevator. "I'm just here for a visit."

I rode the elevator to the third floor, heart pounding painfully in my chest, like someone was taking a sledgehammer to my ribcage. I wanted to call Jayce before I checked in, to ask him to leave school and come be with me. But I didn't. I couldn't. I had to handle this myself.

I checked into the front desk and took a seat in the waiting area, pretending to play on my phone but not really seeing the screen. My fingers trembled as I waited, and after ten minutes or so, someone came out to get me to take me back to a patient room.

"Macey," Melissa said, reaching out to touch my arm as I stepped into the room after her. I couldn't read her expression, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. "How are you?"

"I don't really know how to answer that," I said, forcing a laugh that sounded more pitiful than it did easygoing. "I didn't expect to come back here. And since nobody could tell me over the phone, it must be bad news, right?"

Melissa said nothing to this, which only enforced my fear. I took a seat on the edge of the patient bed while Jayce's mom took my vitals. She didn't speak, not really, but she continued to smile, as if smiling could fix it all. But even her smile was wary, hesitant, and I could sense something was wrong. Something more than just the fact that I was dating her son.

"I'll be back," she said, reaching out once more to rest her hand on my shoulder. She squeezed gently, in a motherly, reassuring way that normally I would have loved and craved but today only shook me to my core. "Let me go get the doctor." "Melissa," I said as she headed towards the door. She paused, hand lingering on the handle. "Is it bad?"

For a moment I didn't think she would say anything at all, then she turned back around and sighed, meeting my gaze with sad eyes that I wished I didn't have to see. "Whatever happens, we're here for you, okay?"

Before I could answer, before I could push her further, Melissa vanished out the door. I took the cell phone from my pocket once more and checked the screen. Jayce had texted me. Everything okay at the hospital?

My thumb hovered over the keyboard, wanting to type something back to him, but I didn't know how to respond. I had no idea if everything was okay, and that terrified me.

Instead of answering Jayce, I shoved the phone back into my pocket just as the door opened again and Melissa came through, followed by who I could only assume was Dr. Hudson.

"Hi, Macey," Dr. Hudson said, sitting down on his fancy doctor stool in front of me. Melissa stood back out of the way, just watching us, and still her expression was blank. She was hiding something, I could tell, and that scared me more than anything else.

"Hey, Doc," I said quietly, weakly shaking the rough hand he offered me. "I would say nice to meet you, but I'm not sure it is."

Dr. Hudson smiled, just a bit. "Thank you for coming in."

"I get the feeling that I didn't really have a choice," I said softly, and the doctor's eyes flickered from my face and down to the pad in his lap, as if he couldn't quite hold my eyes, either.

"We got your test results back from the blood test Melissa submitted last week," he said, fingers skimming over the tablet screen as he checked out my patient chart. "And it's not what we were expecting."

"What were we expecting?" I asked weakly, and Dr. Hudson sighed softly before raising his eyes to meet mine.

"Not this," he said simply, and what felt like a shard of ice pierced through my bloodstream. An invisible vice tightened around my throat, unrelenting, and pressure pushed on my chest until I almost couldn't breathe. "What is it?"

If you're loving the book, nel5s.com is where the adventure continues. Join us for the complete experience-all for free. The next chapter is eagerly waiting for you! "Leukemia," he said quietly. "Acute Myeloid Leukemia. Do you know what that is?" "N-no."

My entire world seemed to stop for a moment. And not just my world, but the world in general. I looked from Dr. Hudson to Melissa, who was still standing behind the doctor with her eyes now cast to the floor. She couldn't even look at me. The metal vice that seemed to be squeezing my chest tightened, even more than I ever thought it could, and the nausea was back, but this time it had absolutely nothing to do with the booze last night. My ears began to ring and my hands started to tingle, the muscles locking up due to the anxiety coursing through my veins. I started to hyperventilate, and that's when Melissa rushed to my side with the garbage can, resting her hand on my back, whispering murmurs in my ear. "Shhh," she said. "It's alright, Macey, I'm here for you. We're here for you."

"AML is the most common type of acute leukemia in adults," Dr. Hudson said, rolling the stool over to squeeze my arm reassuringly. "In AML, the bone marrow makes abnormal white blood cells called leukemia cells. That would explain the overwhelming fatigue you told us about."

I was almost crying, but not quite. The panic was still heavy in my chest, head fuzzy with confusion. With fear. I looked at Dr. Hudson because I didn't know what else to do.

"What's the survival rate?" I asked, my medical training kicking into high gear for some reason.

"It depends on what stage we're at. We'll know more when we get more tests, and possibly a bone marrow."

"Please don't bullshit me," I said, shaking my head vehemently. "What are the odds, Doc?"

Dr. Hudson swallowed, and Melissa's grip on my shoulder tightened. "The five-year survival rate for adults with AML is around twenty-four percent." "Twenty-four percent."

"Yes, but Macey, you're still young, active...and we don't know how far along it is yet. Let's focus on beating this."

"What a day, huh?" I cracked, but the doc didn't return my smile.

"All is not lost, Macey," he said gently. "We can start chemotherapy and see what kind of results it gives us." "And if that doesn't work?"

"If that doesn't work, we can try radiation. Maybe even surgery. But let's talk about that if we get to that point, okay?"

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I sighed, or tried to, because I couldn't really breathe. "Will we get to that point, Dr. Hudson?" I asked, and the good doctor hesitated for a long time, as if he didn't want to say it but knew he had to.

"I don't have that answer for you, Macey."

A heavy, smothering silence fell over the room, and I rested my head in my hands as tears spilled from my eyes. Dr. Hudson stood up and squeezed my arm one more time.

"Speak to the front desk before you leave and have them make you an appointment for a bone marrow. The soonest I have open, okay?"

"Sure," I said with a sniffle, and Dr. Hudson hesitated.

"Macey," he said. "I'm sorry."

Dr. Hudson shut the door softly behind him as he left, leaving Melissa and I alone in the room, her arm still protectively around mine like a mother hen protecting her chick. And even then, it wasn't enough to keep the terror from ripping out my heart and dancing on it.

"What am I going to do," I said into the silence. It wasn't a question, not really, and for a second, I wasn't even sure if it had even been me to speak it. But when Melissa sat down next to me on the edge of the exam table, scooting closer to me, I realized it had been me who had spoken.

"You're going to get through this," she said softly. "That's what you're going to do."

"Oh my God." I burrowed my head in my hands as the tears slipped from my eyes, soaking the front of my shirt, rendering my helpless against them. My shoulders shook with each sob, and I hated myself for breaking down. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to be weak. I wanted to beat this.

"I'm going to be right here, Macey," Melissa said, standing up to wrap her arm around me in a motherly embrace. "I think you seriously need to consider telling your family about this, so you'll be supported," she continued. "It always, always helps when patients have the support of their loved ones."

"Okay," I said with a sniffle and a shrug. "Yeah, fine."

"Macey," Melissa said, gently but firmly. "I'm serious about this. You can't do this alone, okay?"

"No, I-I won't." I slipped off the exam table, grabbed my jacket, and headed to the door, still drying the tears from my face. I didn't know where I was going or why, all I knew is that I had to escape, had to leave before my lungs stopped breathing and my head filled with any more fear.

"Macey," Melissa said as I reached for the handle. I stopped but didn't turn around. I couldn't face her again. I couldn't face anybody, not right now. Not even myself. "What about Jayce?"

Another heavy silence settled in the air between us, and again that sour taste of bile tried to claw its way up my esophagus. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, wishing I was anywhere else in the world than having this conversation right here and right now.

"I'll end it tonight," I said. "Please don't tell him." And before Melissa could respond to this, I opened the door and left, blindly heading somewhere, anywhere, that wasn't here.