Freedom: Sponsored by Capitalism
8

“On this episode of Aberrant Passing…” the narrator spoke as part of an episode recap for an ongoing storyline where AP is being haunted by the unnamed hero welding what at first looks like a flamethrower but soon it is revealed to be a huge fire extinguishing apparatus as the soon to be named hero turns so that the light of the fire and red and blue lights of the fire trucks and police cars makes a glint and a sparkle off the shine of the black hard hat style firefighters’ helmet of the…

“Back Draft, the vigilante firefighter with a tragic past and secret identity…was able to save one high school girl at her sleepover party. Her sleepover party crashed by the mysterious, murderously comical Aberrant Passing…” the bloodstained knife and animators’ choice of physical comedy remind the audience that old Bugs Bunny cartoons were more for an audience of adults than children.

The adult animated show aired for three seasons. In the middle of the first season, it was revealed that Back Draft was a survivor of Aberrant Passing’s attack when she was at her best friend’s home for a sleepover. It was revealed that the heroic Back Draft was a heroine….with deeper scars on the inside of her psyche than the visible scars on her left eye, leaving her sight impaired but not blind. And the shriveled left ear, and the patches of skin where hair once was but refused to grow back…she was a girl changed into a woman on the path of war, or was it the path of justice. With a strange fire extinguisher imbued with the magical power to create whirlwinds that stole the air from the lungs of evildoers. Aberrant Passing seemed to escape from her grasp.

This was revealed in a sort of three-part flashback Back Draft episode…She is quick-witted…her beauty is as devastating as her desire to save others from meeting their Aberrant Passing as he roasts the bodies of young ladies at a time when they should be carefree and dreaming of the blazing nights with their future husbands who are all the same captain and or quarterback on the Football team at their school…transformed into a Fire Fighter or heroic veteran of a justified war.

Ten years passed since the night Aberrant Passing changed her life as abruptly as it was abnormally. Back Draft graduated High School, joined the Army to become a nurse and a firefighter…and a part of the Eighty-Second Airborne…and came home like the Count of Monte Cristo. She left home scarred and scared, broken by the maniacal serial killer, cannibal, and rapist, Aberrant Passing, only to return home a war hero. She moved home to a little apartment near work and her parents. She created a secret identity and began a secret quest to end the life of Aberrant Passing. “So that no High School girls’ sleepover need end due to the hunger pangs of a cannibal.” Was her mantra…with great sleepovers and perverted humor comes great responsibility…or some similar shit.

Tam-Pam and Graves would watch this show when they got home…Dana Wilhelmina Jones nurse with the Glendale, Ohio Fire Department but in some sort of spoof on the Power of Grayskull…Dana transformed into Back Draft in a whirlwind transformation…with a little more skin than such a Sailor Moon transformation. In the whirlwind, she is concealed from on-lookers but to the audience she is nude and her work uniform is replaced…a Fire Fighter helmet with a mask to protect her from being recognized…

A Sparkle and a wink from her right eye as a black tee-shirt floated through the whirlwind. The shirt cannot replace a way onto her because of the helmet. Her helmet magically floats off as her shirt and pants with suspenders clothe our heroine as she becomes Back Draft…and her black boots and finally her fire extinguisher is strapped onto her back as the whirlwind stops and first her right boot touches the ground then her left. With that entrance Dana Wilhelmina Jones is changed into Back Draft charging into the fray, into the fire, into the shitstorm Aberrant Passing created in his quest put the tastiest high school girl in his grandma’s recipe for Chicken Mole…or savory empanadas…or pulled pork for a barbecue sandwich.

The Thursday before Junior Prom Tam-Pam watched an episode titled “Saint Joan of Arc, Shawarma, and Tacos al Pastor…” What’s common is that they were all roasted on vertical rotisseries…for the hunger of Man.